You'll Always Be My Prince
by Fae 206
Summary: Future Set/1st person POV. Kyoko and Kuon are married and living in LA with their two daughters. Kyoko is happy with her life as a fashion designer whereas Kuon has just won the Lead Actor Oscar. However, when Kuon saves Kyoko from being killed by a city bus, he sustains injuries he hasn't suffered before. How can Kyoko help the man she loves heal? Will Sho really try to steal her?
1. Chapter 1

**AN: **Yes. I hope this is the final one I start before I finish some others but for anyone reading, "A Daddy's Boy" I mentioned this in one of the latest chapters. There will be flashbacks and switched POVs in this fic. I hope you enjoy.

**You'll Always Be My Prince**

**Chapter One**

"Mama," Rose says as she pulls my hand and looks up at me with those emerald eyes which shouldn't really be possible given who my parents are. "Are we going to see Daddy?" she asks and I smile as I nod. I check in my bag to make sure I have her ballet slippers and unitard from her practicing. Rose loves to dance. She loves to wear tiaras. She loves when we talk about princesses. I never thought that I would get a daughter like her, to love a daughter like her. Before I became pregnant five years ago, I never believed that I would even want kids and before I got engaged eight years ago, I never thought that I would want to get married.

My name is Hizuri Kyoko. I'm twenty-seven years old and a proud mother with two young girls. I work in the American fashion industry and am very well-known for my designs. I used to have dreams of acting, of being an actress to represent Japan. Kuon would have supported those dreams. He would have kept us based in Japan but the thought of him doing international work for months at a time or him being cooped up only doing work in Japan broke my heart so we moved so he could follow his dreams.

When I had thought about moving to America and the risk of not landing jobs – I don't have stunning emerald eyes and gorgeous naturally golden hair like Kuon does – I debated over whether I would let myself follow a man over my dreams. I had debated on telling him that I couldn't stand in the way of his goals and therefore we couldn't be together. I would have broken his heart but told him not to make sacrifices for what he decided to do when he was fifteen. When I had stood in front of him, preparing to deliver that speech, I couldn't do it. He's Corn. I can't do that to Corn.

So we moved here. We moved to Los Angeles together, and yes, I did start by trying to act but then people saw the bags I'd made and the accessories and asked me if they could see my designs and somehow I managed to slowly open a store and then another one and another one until I became a prominent fashion designer in the United States.

All of this happened because I took a chance on love. I'm glad that I learned that the right people will be supportive of you and that love really does require both partners to support the other. Even when I was his kohai and he was my sempai Tsuruga-san, he always knew how to carefully take care of my weeds and help me grow stronger.

We live in Beverly Hills now. We have a huge estate with a swimming pool and even a tennis court. Best of all, I get to see Kuon in ways that nobody else does. I get to feel him in the bedroom. I get to trust him to take care of me. That's how I became pregnant with Rose and later with Ana – our two-year-old - in the first place.

The sun is shining and I imagine that the beach is sparkling and Kuon said that he'd pick up Ana from her grandparents and meet us here for ice cream. It feels like a perfect day.

"Daddy!" Rose grins as she points to where Kuon is waving to us with Ana in his arms. I'm glad that he always looks so happy these days. He's punished himself far too much in the past. I just want to see him continue to be happy.

"Careful," I warn her as I squeeze her hand. "We have to wait for the walk sign."

This road can get busy at this time of the day. A lot of people driving and a lot of them being reckless. Kuon has always stressed the importance of holding hands and stranger danger and being safe. Once I knew the story about Rick, I could understand why he was so scared during the filming of Dark Moon and then when we travel in the evening with the girls.

"Yeah," Rose nods as she turns to me and I smile back. I prepare myself to meet with my husband and youngest daughter before a hand comes onto the back of my shoulder. I freeze. Somehow this touch feels really familiar.

"I thought if I waited here long enough, I'd find you," a man says and I turn to see my 'childhood friend'. I made my peace with Shotaro when I got engaged. I came to him and told him that I wanted to be civil with him but I found a man who wanted to take care of me and love me in the way in which he says I deserve to feel loved. I don't want to deal with this today.

"Wow, you really did need to stalk me to get a hold of me," I say sarcastically as I put both of my hands on Rose's shoulders so she doesn't try to cross without me. She looks up with confusion. "You couldn't have confirmed things with my executive assistant?"

"What do you need an executive assistant for?" Shotaro asks and I roll my eyes. "All you do is make clothes."

"All I do?" I ask, raising my eyebrow slightly. I shake my head. I don't need to deal with this today. "Sho, if you really wanted to catch up then you could have talked to somebody who would have told me. We could have scheduled some time."

"It looks like you have some free time right now," Sho says and I frown, bringing back a tiny bit of the old Mogami Kyoko.

"I'm enjoying some time with my husband and our daughters. My husband is really busy. He's one of the most sought after actors and he has other commitments as well," I tell him and see that he's still continuing to look bored. Obviously, Shotaro still doesn't see how much more important Kuon is to the entertainment industry then he is. I hear the sound of traffic getting busier. It would be good to cross the road before rush hour really gets into the full swing of things

The Californian sun is beating down on me and I don't want to wait until sunset to move.

"I could still accompany you," he tells me and I look back at Kuon who is trying to figure out what this conversation is about. This isn't the first time that Shotaro has tracked us down and Kuon always tries to act civil but then I let him vent about his dislike of 'Fuwa' after we've seen him or I've seen him.

"I don't want to," I tell him before turning around with Rose's hand in mine "Come on, sweetheart, let's go," I tell her. I try to cross the road but feel something holding me back. I'm standing in the middle of a busy road and Shotaro has hold of my arm and is dragging me backwards. I see the light with the signal to cross counting down the numbers and I feel my heel wedge in a gap in the road.

"Sweetie," I tell Rose as I know I have to either get my shoe off or unwedge it. "Can you go to Daddy for me? Mama's coming when she gets her shoe taken care of," I tell her and she runs. It's at this point I hear a loud honking of a city bus. I start to feel scared about what's happening. "Can you help?" I ask and see that Shotaro is backing away. I look up and see the bus, it's right in front of me and it's not stopping. I take a deep breath, trying to get the shoe off and feel myself get pushed over. My ankle is in agony but the shoe has come loose.

I close my eyes before hearing the sound of something getting hit. Have I already left my body? Is this what happens when you die? You _witness _yourself dying? At least only my ankle hurts. I try to breathe before hearing the sound of traffic stopping and I open my eyes. I'm still here. I'm still living. I feel confused. Did Shotaro actually save my life?

I turn to where everyone's screaming and the attention is going to and my eyes widen. I can't even breathe properly. In front of a car two away from me is a pool of blood and a limp body on the ground. I can see fairly tan skin and see the blond hair and then it finally registers to me what happened. Shotaro didn't save me. It is always him who saves me.

My prince. My Corn.

**End of Chapter One**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: **This is going to join the rest of my fics (looking to do a number of larger updates before end of the year) in updating after this chapter but I really wanted to write Chapter Two. This fic is kind of a bit longer than my other stories so let me know how you like the length of this chapter 😊

**Chapter Two**

"_How do you know he even wants kids, Mo. He could be not saying anything because he doesn't want children."_

_I freeze as I remember what Moko-chan said. I know that Kuon and I are happy in our marriage and even though I've not landed any audition I've had for months, I'm happy being in the United States. I know that it makes him happy to be acting and that's what is most important to me. I hold a box containing the positive pregnancy test in my hand and I'm trying to hide my excitement. I have a feeling that Kuon wants to have children but he's being respectful because he doesn't know that now I want to have kids or kids with him. I'm excited but I think what makes it different is that I know how much love and care he'll give to our child. _

_I watch as he unloads the dishwasher and puts the items into the cupboards. I go over to him as he stands and wrap my arms around him from behind, hugging him. He laughs and turns to me, raising an eyebrow. I always feel myself falling when I look into those emerald eyes and I love letting my fingers go through his blond hair when he's sleeping. _

"_Hey," he grins as he turns to me. "You're being awfully cute," he says with his look that could bring any woman to lose balance._

_I blush before slipping the box into his hand, he looks at it, turning it over and then raises an eyebrow. I still continue to smile as he watches me curiously. I know that he's studying me and that we've become excellent at reading one another. "Open it, please?" I ask as I push my face into his chest. He embraces me before starting to open the box._

_I close my eyes for a moment, nervous about how he'll react. I open them as he lifts the lid of the box and he takes a step back. I look up at him and he's in shock, his eyes wide and he's shining as bright as the sun. I take it as a good sign. "Kuon," I whisper as I put a hand on his upper arm. He's continuing to look at the item inside the box as if he just opened a treasure chest with more riches in it than he could imagine. "I'm happy," I try to assure him and he laughs, grinning widely as he continues to stare at it. "I'm happy, I promise," I tell him before tilting my head to the side. I want some kind of a reaction. I know life isn't a fairytale but I found a prince who has his flaws but prioritizes me, keeps me safe, makes sacrifices for me. _

"_Yeah," he says slowly. "I'm really happy right now."_

…

…

"Squiddle!" Ana tells me as she points to where there is a squirrel running on a branch of the tree. I smile to her, thinking about how much she looks like her mother and how lucky I am that both of my daughters look so much like their mother. Kyoko keeps trying to convince me that she sees me in them. They're too gorgeous to have me in them. Kyoko's the beautiful one out of the two of us.

"Yeah," I laugh as I kiss her cheek, holding her to my chest. "Very playful. There's a lot of animals, right?" I ask and she grins, letting her head rest on my shoulder as she snuggles into me. I hear the click of someone's phone taking a picture of us. It's a common occurrence. Ever since I was celebrated with this years Academy Award for Lead Actor, I've had numerous people taking my picture and wanting autographs. Still, being a dad and husband is the best part of my life. I never thought I'd be lucky enough to say that.

"Yeah, wuv andimals," she says cutely and I remember when I was with my own parents. I always have loved animals. I always got excited going bird watching or being in nature. Like I had said before, I played in the ground and in the sky.

"Do you think Mama's going to be excited to try the new ice cream?" I ask and Ana nods her head. I kiss the top of her head as I tuck some of her black hair behind her ear. I feel so lucky each time I wake up. I'm with the first and only woman who I've ever truly loved and we're happy. It doesn't matter our wealth factor although that means we don't have to worry about the kids, we're together and happy and that's what I need.

As I stand there with Ana in my arms, I see Kyoko with Rose and wave to them but then something catches my mind and I look across. Fuwa? Fuwa's in LA? His music career hasn't been doing well for half a decade as people moved onto other music, is he here to see Kyoko? It can't be for work.

They're talking about something and I try to relax. Kyoko knows how much I dislike that jerk. I always try to act civil for her but I really can't stand him. Still, he's younger than me and I've decided to try to prove that to him. He's not capable of dragging me down. I don't know what they are talking about but it's important enough that they miss two light changes. I'll just have to prepare myself to suffer through some time with this ass.

Finally Kyoko breaks away from this conversation and her focus turns to crossing the road with Rose. At least she's attempting to shake him off but I am curious to know what's going on. My eyes widen as I see him grab hold of her arm, slowing her down. If I wasn't holding Ana, I'd be lecturing him about the dangers of slowing down a pedestrian – especially my wife and daughter – when facing the LA traffic.

It's at this point that I see Kyoko's three inch heel get lodged in a crack in the road. They never do work on the roads here. She's struggling to move her foot. They have to slow down for her, right? I mean, nobody would hurt her. They'd honk her but…

My breath halts as I see Rose crossing without Kyoko. Is Kyoko that caught? I look between her and Fuwa. It's not as if I can do anything whilst I still have Ana. I'd be willing to risk my own life to help her but I can't risk Ana's. As I hear a noise of a large city bus though, my heart stops in my chest. I put Ana down and look at the two girls in a serious manner which they know to listen to. "You two take care of each other. I'm going to go and help your mother," I tell them before rushing off.

I can see a bus coming but there's no way that I'm letting it hit my wife. I have no idea why Fuwa has backed off to the other side of the road, the side they just crossed from, without giving some assistance or at least attempting to stop the traffic. I look at Kyoko who is concentrating on her shoe desperately. This is going to hurt but it's going to save her life.

I stand between her and the bus and push her over. I hear the sound of her bone cracking as I do so but she'll forgive me. She might need to wear a cast but having a broken or torn ankle is much better than her dying. As I do so, only a second later, I feel something crushing my body and instead of falling flat on the ground, I feel it toss me into the air.

As I always said, I loved playing in the air as a kid.

I can feel the pain in my body as I land on another vehicle before finally hitting the ground. I can't move. Everything is burning and I see a white light. Somehow I can't seem to feel anything anymore. Am I dead? Is this what dying feels like? Everything seems so light now. It's okay if I die. It's even okay if Kyoko marries somebody else.

Please just let my princesses survive.

…

….

I can't breathe. I don't know what breathing feels like anymore. I can't remember how to do it. I just hear a large crowd gather and I see his body. He's turning pale. His blood is spilling everywhere. He looks like a discarded rag doll that some child threw out of the car window without realizing it.

I try to stand but find myself stuck. My ankle is killing me but I need to get to him. I need to make the blood stop. I look at my shoe. Still stuck to my swollen foot and I unbuckle it. He pushed me down and got hit himself. I realize that now. There was no chance of getting my heel out of this gap in the road.

As I stumble to my feet, I hear people around me, wanting to know if _I'm_ okay. They shouldn't be worrying if I'm okay. All I have is a breakage. It's not as if I have blood pooling around my head and my body looks like a dead animal's. It's strange how a cat, a dog, a human can all look the same after getting hit by a vehicle.

I manage to drag my leg over there despite the pain. I don't care about the pain. Something has to be done about his head before the blood continues. He needs his blood. The bleeding has to stop. I take off my jacket and try to get it pillowed under his head. My hands are getting sticky with his blood. He's barely breathing.

"Corn," I whisper as I look at him. It seems as if he's already gone. I take his hand feeling only a slight warmth. "Corn," I tell him as I can see him fading. If the police don't get here soon, we'll lose him. "Kuon," I say feeling my heart breaking. "Please, my lo-lo-love," I struggle as I watch him. "Please keep fighting. I believe in you. I'm never going to stop believing in how strong you are," I tell him but of course he's not responsive.

I shakily put my hand to his throat and the world around us seems to disappear. He's breathing but he's struggling to do so. His pulse is there but it's fading. He's dying. If we don't do something then he's going to die. He's always protected me, loved me, guided me. He's the one who made me see that love isn't always such a bad thing and that a woman's love can be reciprocated and she can love her children even without her mother showing that love to her.

He's their daddy. The girls can't grow up without such a kind and loving dad. He always talked about how proud he is of them, how he wants to have fun with them, how he wants to protect all of us. "Kuon," I whisper as I finally hear the sound of the ambulance. "My love, you can do this," I tell him hoping that he can hear me. "Help is coming. They'll help you," I whisper to him through my tears. I feel myself held back so that they can get his body up and they place something on him to stop the blood but I can't see what. I want to go with him in the ambulance. I don't want to leave him but I know that I can't leave our daughters.

"Stay strong, my prince," I whisper as I hear the ambulance doors close and see it drive away despite the way that I can barely see anything through the tears. This blood is his. I'm covered in his blood because he saved me. He needs to get it into his body. I make my way over to the girls who are still in shock. Both of them are pale and Rose has her arms around Ana. I didn't want for them to see anything like this. They shouldn't have to witness how their father died.

He's going to die. Kuon is going to die. _My_ Kuon is going to die.

I can't breathe. Once again, I can't breathe.

"Ma'am, you really need to get your ankle looked at," a passerby tells me and I nod shakily. Who the hell cares about my ankle. I would rather have my whole leg amputated than for Kuon to stop living. I nod, still in shock. I don't want for him to leave me. I wrap my arms around my still terrified daughters.

"Girls," I whisper to them. Kuon would want me to stay strong and make sure that they are okay. "I'm going to -going to call Granddad. I'm going to see if he can come and take care of you," I tell them. I'm trying to act calm as if nothing has changed so I don't scare them but I know the fear is registering in my voice.

"Is Daddy okay?" Rose asks terrified and I don't know how to respond to that. I've always tried to be honest but how can I tell them that this might be the very last time that they see their father alive. I shiver. I don't think I could see his corpse. I don't even want to imagine attending a funeral service for him.

"I don't think so," I whisper not wanting to say something that will scare the two of them like, there's very little chance that Daddy won't die today.

"You want me to watch them for you?" I hear Shotaro ask me in Japanese and I feel disgusted. If he wasn't here then Kuon would still be alive. I wouldn't have been dragged by him so I would have felt my heel before it got stuck. "You need to see someone about your leg," he says and I glare at him. I don't want him here. He shouldn't be the one standing here with me and my daughters.

"If he dies," I tell him in Japanese. We've mainly taught the girls English with some Japanese and a few Russian words mixed in. "I will never forgive you." Part of me knows that it's not his fault but I need some way to cope with the pain. I take out my phone which somehow isn't damaged and call Kuu-sama. I just hope that he'll forgive me for this.

…

…

Six hours later and they still won't let me see him. They even convinced me to have my ankle looked at and set in a cast, it's broken but that's nothing to what he's going through. Nobody has told me that he's passed so that's one good thing but he's been moved from the emergency room to the operating room and back to the emergency room. It's not good. They've done numerous tests on him to assess the damage.

Father has his arm bandaged from where they drew the blood for the transfusion but he's still pacing. Julie is with the girls. He lost so much blood that I'm sure at least half the blood in his body isn't his own. They won't let us see him until he's stable which means that he's still not stable.

"Maybe you should have taken the wheelchair," Father says as he turns to me and I look at the floor. I'm fine using crutches. I don't want to be pushed around and taken care of when Kuon is fighting for his life.

"I'm fine," I try to reassure him with a weak smile though my eyes are red and puffy. "I don't want for Kuon to see me in a wheelchair when he wakes up. He needs to focus on his recovery." I see Father turn to me and open his mouth to say something but he shakes his head. I know that neither of us want to admit to the truth that there is a probability that Kuon will never even gain consciousness.

As I sit there, trying to think of the happiest moments of my life - the birth of our children, our wedding, his confession to loving me, the engagement, when he recently won the Academy Award and thanked me first - a doctor approaches. I try to dry my eyes despite how badly they sting. "Kuon," I whisper as Father turns and stares at the woman who's there. "Is he…"

"He's out of surgery. We do need for him to remain in the ICU though. The state of his injuries is very bad however, we've been able to get him breathing with the aid of a respirator," I let out a happy sob of relief. I know it's still bad but he's alive. He's breathing with help. We'll get him the best help possible. "His heart is still weak but it's gaining strength. I can't guarantee what will happen, there is still a chance of us losing him but he's out of immediate danger."

He's not dead. Somehow, he's not dead.

"If you want to accompany me to my office, I can go over the results from the test," she tells us and I nod shakily. I want to see my husband. I want to see for myself that he's still alive. Even if he's hooked up to a half dozen different machines, I want to see that he's alive.

"Can I see Kuon first?" I ask. Doesn't she understand how much I _need_ to see him.

"I can allow you to see him for a little while but then I do need to go over the test results. We've had to operate on his brain," she says and I look at her. Does that mean that they lobotomized him? I shake my head, getting up using the crutches. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter what they did to him as long as he's alive. I don't know if I could live without him. I nod again. I just need to see him.

As Father and I follow her to the intensive care unit, I see him attached to numerous machines with bandages over his body. He really is attached to numerous machines but I can hear the heart monitor beeping and that's enough to calm me down.

"Hi," Father says as he squeezes Kuon's shoulder and I can see both the love and fear in his eyes. He's so pale and he looks so small. How can such a tall and well-toned person like Kuon look so small in the bed?

"Kuon," I whisper as I go over to kiss his cheek. "I'm so thankful that you're alive," I tell him. I grab his hand. "I've got you, my sweet Corn," I tell him although I know he won't answer me. "I'm safe thanks to you. The girls are safe too. We're looking forward to you waking up so please don't have us wait too long but don't rush, you need to recover too."

I turn to the doctor as I hold Kuon's hand with both of mine. "You said that you operated on his brain?" I ask the doctor and shiver, "How will -" I hate asking this question. It doesn't matter. Whatever the answer is, it doesn't matter. "Will his intellect be affected? He's always been very intelligent."

"I don't know. We have no way of knowing until he wakes up," she tells me and I sob. I will still love him no matter what but I don't want him to be too disabled to do what he loves. I nod and Dad puts a hand on my shoulder to support me.

"I love you. I love you so much that it doesn't matter to me," I tell Kuon though I still feel completely heartbroken. He was at the height of his career. He was really happy with our family. He had finally forgiven himself for what had happened in his past. Now this. I love him. All I can hope is that he keeps fighting for us, for me. I don't know what I'd do if suddenly he disappeared from my life.

"Can we speak now?" the doctor asks and I squeeze Kuon's hand.

"I'll be right back, Corn," I tell him.

Why didn't Shotaro save me? As much as I'd hate to be in debt to him, it would mean that he would be here instead of Kuon.

**End of Chapter Two**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

**Thankyou to the reviews of Chapter One**

Enolaisa, Kaname671

**AN: **If anyone enjoys unboxing videos. I have been more active under my YouTube which is my real full name: Fay Stringer. Don't worry you don't have to watch them but if you like Disney, there's some cute stuff.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: **So I lied but I was excited to continue this fic. I will be writing others and then doing some larger updates (hopefully). I also didn't have a flashback in this chapter but I do want to include them.

**Chapter Three**

I have such a heavy sinking feeling throughout my body. I don't want to listen to the doctor when they explain what's wrong with Kuon. I want to do my best for him but I'm scared. A blood transfusion? Coma? Surgery on his brain? Those aren't things that you want to hear said about your husband. I mean, when I cared for him as his manager, he acted like a stubborn child and it was hard to take care of him, especially since part of me really disliked him at the time. When things are requiring machines and incisions and numerous drugs which you've never heard of, it makes the stubborn baby act seem like nothing.

The doctor leads us to her desk, I know that Father keeps looking out of the door like a stray dog who has been taken from its owner but he always has anxiety when it comes to Kuon. I have a feeling he'd rather be there physically but listening to this is important. "Father, I—" I start but the doctor cuts me off.

"Ms. HIzuri," she says as she prints out a document from her computer and shows it to me. It's Kuon's hospital record, the most updated one before today's. "Can you confirm that this form is true and accurate since your husband is unable to do so for himself?"

I take the paper. I can see every time I convinced him to have a flu shot. Every time a doctor checked up from a possible on-the-set injury. Every annual physical. I look through the pages from the past six years. I take a deep breath as I see how healthy he's always been. They always said that his health was in the top percentile, I guess that's not something that they can say anymore. If I hadn't worn those shoes then he would still be here.

"It's accurate," I tell her. He's never had to wear prescription lenses. Never had to take prescription medication. He's always been so healthy. Before this it was as if he was untouchable.

"Ms. Hizur-" the doctor says again and I look at her. I know that she's the doctor who is on call right now for these types of emergencies but that makes me angrier than I had believed it could make me.

"Mrs." I repeat and she stares at me. "It's Mrs. Hizuri. I have a husband who I love very deeply. I took the last name of the man I love. I'm ready to start trying to put together the best treatment and recovery plans for that same husband. It's _Mrs._ Hizuri."

The doctor nods and takes out a folder where I can see some x-rays poking out from one side. I see Father's hand move towards the manilla file. The doctor turns to me. "I'm sorry, I didn't ask whether you were comfortable with Mr. Hi-"

"I'm sorry," Father whispers as he stands and I turn back to him completely shocked. How can she be a professional doctor without acknowledging the fact that Kuon's father is here to take care of him as well. "I can -"

"_I _would like him here. _My husband_ would want him to be here," I turn to Kuu and he looks as if he might crumble. He's not an old man. In his late fifties but not an old man. He looks so much older today than he did yesterday, and I know that's because of how concerned he is for Kuon. I kind of want to hit this doctor but I know that she will probably be able to treat Kuon a lot better if she doesn't have my handprint on her cheek. Father sits down next to me and the doctor nods.

"Kuon had multiple bruises and contusions but the most substantial seems to have had three different points of impact," she tells me and I'm trying to figure out what is being said. She pulls out an image with a lot of negative space. It's not an x-ray. It's an MRI a CAT scan? I'm not sure. I just see that there are grooves and dents and in this one there looks like there is a squished area near the negative space. "You see this right here," the doctor points and I feel like this is when Kuon and I saw the sonogram for the first time and I couldn't see Rose.

"This is where his brain started to bleed. We needed to stop that from happening and so we had to carefully make some repairs in this section. If this hadn't been seen to, he would have died within the first few hours. This is possibly going to affect his REM cycles, leave him with some nerve damage, possibly lead to seizures, and we'll have to test other areas as well. He could also have a decrease in appetite meaning he'll feel hungry less often."

I stare at her in shock. I don't understand how that will work. He'll feel _less_ hungry. His stomach already doesn't work, if he feels less hungry he will _starve_. I can't even imagine what that would be like. I push a hand through my black hair and realize that it's looking a lot messier than before. I'm worried more about Kuon than I ever have before but that's natural, this is the worst that he's been hurt.

"What about his skills?" Father asks and I turn to look at him. I turn back to the doctor feeling tears appear in my eyes. "Motor? Intellectual? Learning?"

"There's no way to tell at the current time," the doctor says and my heart breaks at how she isn't dismissing those thoughts. I've been a girlfriend, a fiancée, and a wife within ten years of my life. I love the man I married more than anything. I still plan to spend the rest of my life with him but I wanted him to be…_him_. Now he might not be the same. I keep thinking of boxers who have suffered head injuries. They're lovable and still show a kindness but I wouldn't define some of them as the smartest guys in the world. I sob. I know that taking care of him is more important than having long conversations and discussions with him about some of the things in the world but I don't want for him to have to suffer in that way.

"If he…if his IQ drops," I say bluntly as I wrap an arm around my chest. "Will he know? How much do people suffer when that happens? I just don't want him to suffer or fall into depression. I love him no matter what but I don't want him in pain or to feel self-conscious."

"Again," the doctor tells me and I breathe deeply, needing to steady myself. "We won't be able to test that right now. We'll have to see when he regains consciousness. If he regains consciousness."

I bow my head, tears slipping down my cheeks. "It's a when. Kuon is the strongest person I have ever known. It's definitely a when."

…

…..

I open my eyes and lift my head from my shoulder and look ahead of me to see Kuon still lying there. I look across to the respirator, the heart monitor. There's been little change. I didn't mean to fall asleep. I didn't want to but I can't leave him. I need him to be safe. I feel a chill in the room and reach out for the blanket over Kuon, tucking him in. It's okay if I suffer the cold but he needs to be okay.

"Hi, sweetheart," I whisper as I feel the puffiness and soreness of my eyes. "I'm sorry. I wasn't watching over you. I hope that you're still okay and you're still fighting," I tell him as I push his hair back. I kiss his cheek again. I hate that he's not awake. The doctors have told me that the severity of his brain injury can be told by how long it takes for him to regain consciousness. "Please come back to me," I whisper feeling nervous and afraid. The people in my life who I've loved the most have always left me. I don't want Kuon to do the same. I know, unlike the other people, it wouldn't be his choice and I wouldn't blame him for it but I want to be selfish about this. I spent so much of my life confused and not in touch with the truth of the world but this isn't helping. My husband could still be slowly dying.

"Do you need a ride home?" Father asks as he stands behind me and I look at him. What is he talking about? I need to be with Kuon. I need to stay by his side in case something happens.

"I'm not leaving," I say stubbornly.

"The girls need you. I'll come back and make sure that Kuon's still all right but the girls need you," Father tells me and I look at him. I know he's right but what if something happens when I'm not here? What if he goes into shock or his pulse weakens? I don't want to return just to find that he has a time of death.

I bite my top lip feeling as if I'm a child again. I know I have to go back and reassure our children that Daddy isn't dead but I can't bear the thought of Kuon being alone. "Can you call me a cab?" I asked in defeat. Father nods as he goes towards Kuon and puts a hand on his shoulder. "Can you stay with him until I come back in the morning?" I ask and Father nods his head.

"Of course," he tells me and I take Kuon's hand and hold it to my heart.

"I'll be back in the morning," I promise him. "Your dad's here. You'll be safe, I promise. We'll make sure that you're safe." I take a deep shaky breath and I feel more tears roll down my cheeks. I didn't know that it was possible to cry even more. "I love you, Kuon. I don't think that I can even explain how much I love you."

…

…

The girls are shaken up. I don't blame them. Kuon has always stressed how important it is not to run in front of traffic and to look both ways before crossing the street and yet they saw him protect me from a bus. I know that it doesn't make sense to them. I've tried to explain that their father was trying to protect me but Kuon has always been scared of them running in front of traffic because of what happened to Rick when he was younger and yet he didn't follow his own rules.

I look to my side of the bed in Kuu's and Julie's house. This is a guest room but once upon a time, this was the room in which their father slept when he was a little boy. He had toys and music and books in this room. He played in here. Slept in here. This was his sanctuary. I feel a little bit better knowing how much of Kuon is in this room. On the other side of the bed are the girls. They wanted to sleep with me and I wanted them to be close to me. Kuon wanted to protect all of us.

I hear a knock on the front door and turn to look at the time. My eyes widen. It's eight o'clock. I could have gone back to the hospital two hours ago. I see the girls blink their sleepy eyes open as they look at me. "Hey, you two," I say as I kiss each of them on the head. Despite Rose having my black hair and Ana having lighter brown hair, there's still so much of Kuon in the way they look. He argues against me but I can see that they look so much like their father and paternal grandmother.

"Is Daddy back?" Rose asks me and Ana looks at me innocently, the same question on her mind.

"No, he's still in the hospital," I attempt to explain and they watch me. I know there are so many questions that they have but I don't know how to answer any of them. "Hopefully he can come home soon."

"Wuv Daddy," Ana tells me and I nod. I don't even know how to describe the love I have for my prince, my knight who saved me by sacrificing his own life.

"Mama, can I see Daddy?" Rose asks and I shake my head. I don't want to bring them into the hospital to scare them. If Kuon's condition worsens and he starts to fade then I'll bring them in so they can say their goodbyes but Kuon needs to recover and I don't want to scare our daughters.

"I'm sorry," I apologize, "Daddy needs to recover a little more. When he's feeling better, we can all go and see him." I try to comfort them before I hear a knock on the door of Kuon's old bedroom. "You two stay here," I tell them, kissing each on the top of the head. I go to the door and see Julie standing there. She looks so fragile. Her son who she loves and cares for so much has been so badly hurt. "Did I wake you?" I ask and Julie shakes her head.

"You're fine. There's someone in the entrance way to see you," she says and I nod slowly. I don't want to think that it's the media but wouldn't Julie have said if it was. She wouldn't have me deal with them. She's pretty confident in her acting and modeling abilities. I grab my robe and go down the stairs carefully before my eyes widen. He is the very last person I want to see inside Kuon's parents' house.

"Get the hell out," I tell him and Shotaro looks at me.

"I was concerned, I saw how that guy knocked you over. Is your leg okay?" he asks as he sees the cast and my eyes widen. He's worried because Kuon 'knocked me over'. I can't believe him. I grab his wrist and drag him outside, I don't want to be angry inside the house.

"He knocked me over so that I wouldn't get hit by the bus, so I wouldn't die," I hiss as I feel my old inner demons start to awaken. Kuon has always protected me from these emotions returning but he's lying in the hospital quite possibly with numerous disabilities. He did what he felt he had to do. "You could have helped me. Grabbed me, yanked me back, I know you're strong enough."

Shotaro stares at me like an idiot, "That jerk isn't here?" he asks and I still can't believe him. His attitude makes me want to beat him up, destroy his disgusting face.

"Don't you _dare_ insult him!" I snap before shaking my head, the pain that I was feeling turning into anger. "Of course, he's in the hospital! I know that you two don't like each other but don't pretend that he's okay and that he survived that. You witnessed it, you coward." I hiss. I just want him to disappear forever.

"So, the guy's not dead?" he asks and I pull my arm back and strike him across the cheek. My entire body shaking. What the hell did he just ask me?

**End of Chapter Three**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Two

Enolaisa, H-Nala, Kaname671


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: **First of all, thank you to everyone reading this even if you haven't reviewed. I've come to love working on this but I need to work on other fics too. I feel like I'm cheating on those 😉 Hope you guys enjoy this chapter. I did want to include Kuon's POV so it's his flashback.

**Chapter Four**

_I don't want to admit that I'm terrified. Dad's been nominated before but he's never won. This is my third nomination and I've seen better actors advance to that stage. It's what I'm used to. Something seems strange though. Am I going to snap if I don't win this time because of nerves. As I see the winner for Lead Actress stand on the stage, I feel my chest sink in. _

_This is it. Kyoko turns to me and kisses my cheek knowing how much I'd love to be recognized as the top actor of the year. She squeezes my wrist. "Remember the awards you already won," she whispers to me and I nod as the other nominees are announced. As I see myself on screen, I hold to Kyoko's hand and give a thank you nod to the camera with a weak smile. _

_Whoever wins, I just have to admit that they deserved it. I don't think that I'll win. I take deep breaths as Kyoko kisses my shoulder. I know that she believes in me more than I believe in myself. _

"_And the award for Lead Actor in a Motion Picture goes to Kuon Hizuri for Life Behind Wheels." _

_Did they just say my name? Did they just say my name?" I see people stand up with a loud round of applause and Kyoko hugs me happily. She sees me shake hands and hug the people who have helped me during the American period of my acting career. I still can't believe it. I hear the sound of the music but my heart is about to burst out of my chest. _

_In Life Behind Wheels, I played a stunt driver for the movies who gets hurt when trying to avoid a crash with a drunk driver. I then get so injured I am paralyzed from the waist down and have to learn to relearn about life from a wheelchair. There's a lot of drama and strained interactions with other characters but I still can't believe that they think I've won. _

_I shakily take the envelope and the Oscar and step to the middle of the stage. I take slow breaths in before turning across to look at Kyoko. "I just want to say first of all that none of this would have been possible if it wasn't for my wife, Kyoko. I have to start with thanking her for helping me reach my dreams. I love her and I am so proud to be her husband. Thank you," I tell her. She blushes and I continue to thank my costars and the company and agency who worked with me, the different departments, the directors, and then my parents. I have so many people who led me to this path but Kyoko. Nothing would be possible without Kyoko._

…

…

I smile as I see Julie and the girls playing with the flowers in the garden. It's been a full week since the accident and Kuon's health has only slightly improved. I wish he was here. He would always come up with the most fun games each tailored to each girl. He knew how to make any person feel special. The doctors just think that his health will improve if I only spend a couple of hours with him. He's still in a coma but he appears to be out of immediate danger.

I sigh as I stand up and look at my phone. He's still here. He's still texting me! I growl as I see that Shotaro has sent me multiple selfies of him in different LA locations. I close my eyes and shove the phone back in my jacket pocket. Damn it. If Kuon was here, he'd be suggesting that we go play on the beach or we go and have a picnic somewhere. This isn't fair.

Kuon _shouldn't _have to suffer. I don't care what Shotaro is doing. Can't he understand that I've not replied to him because I don't want to. I haven't forgiven him for what happened to Kuon. I know that Kuon was saving me but if he had just pulled me back and risked hurting me, Kuon would have been with the girls. He wouldn't have had to go through brain surgery.

I bow my head but hear someone approach me and I turn to see Kuu with a solemn look on his face. I pull my phone out immediately. Is it to do with the hospital? They would have called me, right? All information should be sent directly to me. I have instructions on how to do this. I tried to make it as organized as possible. They couldn't have - "Kuon?" I ask and Father smiles weakly.

"Same condition," he says mournfully and I place my hand onto my chest immediately. At least he isn't dead. "Kyoko, I've been talking with a friend of mine. I was hoping you could accompany me this afternoon. He's…invited me to go and visit with his son."

"His son?" I ask. I'm not sure why Kuu would be doing this. I know he's not intending to set me up with someone else, Kuu would have to be completely out of character to be doing this when it's only been a week.

"His son was involved in an accident years ago. He suffered a traumatic brain injury. His wife attempted to take care of him but it got too difficult for her emotionally so she goes to visit him at a nursing facility around here. They're hoping that in a couple of years, he'll be able to be moved to an assisted living facility," Kuu explains and I feel a pain inside of me. I'm not sure that I'm ready to deal with this but it might give me a little hope or at least make me see things a bit more realistically.

"Yes," I whisper as I look at him. "Let me get dressed into something else and take a shower," I bow my head and look towards the girls again. I feel so bad to be leaving them so much in order to make sure that Kuon isn't alone. "Can we…"

"We can go and see him before or after," Kuu tells me and I look down.

"After," I reply. I have the feeling that seeing a wife with her husband despite how many disabilities he might have would make me feel very jealous and lonely and if I see Kuon afterwards, I can comfort myself by knowing that he's still fighting and even if he does have disabilities now, at least he's alive. I'll fight anyone who wants to hurt or criticize him. I brush my sweat pants off, look over to the girls, and turn back to Father.

"Okay." I nod as my heart hurts, scared to see the damage that a head injury can cause a person up close. I just have to remind myself that it's Kuon. I would give anything just to have Kuon.

…

…

I remember meeting Nate before, years ago. The man, a little younger than myself, was at one of Kuu's parties where he would invite his friend and would try his best to convince Kuon to come. Kuon and I would always come. We knew how much it meant to him. At the time, Nate was a wonderful conversationalist, he liked to talk about the sports that he supported and played, he enjoyed helping people if they needed him. He was an extrovert who had natural charisma, just as Kuon does.

That's not the introvert I see sitting with his wife by the window with two of her hands holding one of his. The room feels as if it's getting frozen over with how slow and quiet their interaction is. "Hey, honey," Rachel, Nate's wife says gently as she gently smooths his slightly messy hair. "Did the therapist come again?"

Nate nods without saying anything. I watch as Rachel pulls out a children's book with a large type print. It's something that a seven or eight year old might be reading. She hands it to him and he looks it over with a smile.

"I found you the next one," she says as I see the tears in her eyes. Is it really such a struggle for her to be here with him? "Do you want to read to me?" she asks. In her tone, she sounds as if she's speaking to an adult but the words she's using, the things she's saying, they sound like the things someone would say to a child.

"Y-Yeah," Nate says shyly and opens the book. He hasn't seemed to realize that we're watching him. "H-Henry ha-hated school b-bec-cause most da-days he sta-yed inside. He di-didn't en-enjoy the—the class he curr—curr—" he stops. He's reading so slowly but apparently it's been years since the accident.

Rachel pulls her chair over so she's next to him. She holds his hand in hers. "You've got it," she tells him as she kisses his cheek lovingly. "Let's sound it out, cur—current—"

"Currently," Nate says as he looks down feeling embarrassed. Rachel tries to give him a supportive and encouraging hug.

"You've got it, my love," she tells him as Nate continues to focus on the book.

"After the accident," Richard, Nate's father says as he turns to both Kuu and I. "Nate had a real difficulty reading letters. We started with single letters and then a combination of two letters and then three and four letters together then words, it's been a slow progression but he's made so much progress with his reading."

"That's his best?" I ask and Father coughs. That sounded worse than I meant it. I haven't had much sleep lately and I didn't mean to be rude. I'm just interested and maybe I'm not thinking as my usual self. I don't want to disrespect him.

"Nate has always loved reading. After the accident he started to have little joy in anything but then when we were given some early reading books by a nurse, he started to get motivated again. Reading makes him happy even if it's not impressive to people who didn't see him at the beginning." Richard explains. He sees Nate looking over at us and steps forward, excusing himself from the conversation. "That was excellent," Richard praises him and for only that short time, barely even a whole sentence.

"I don't want Kuon to be like that," I tell Father. I know that it's a very selfish thing to have said but it's how I feel. Father nods and looks around to see various people of a mixture of ages. They've all suffered but they're all being taken care of.

"I know, it's going to be hard to see him have disabilities but I don't want him to be looked after by other people," Father says and I turn to him shocked. Is he really saying that he thinks I'd just casually abandon Kuon?

"He's not being looked after by other people," I tell him stubbornly. Who does he think that I am? I'm not going to just say, hey, I'm abandoning you now. No. Even if Kuon ends up like this there is still good. Nate is still enjoying the time with his wife and father. He is finding some joy from life. Maybe that's what is most important for Kuon right now, making sure he's safe, happy, and that his health is recovering. It could have been a lot worse.

**End of Chapter Four**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Huge thanks to Kaname671 for reviewing Chapter Three

**AN: **Sho will be returning, of course at the worse possible time


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: **There is one flashback here but I hope to do three next chapter so it'll balance out. Kuon is suffering from depression at the end, there are illnesses where laughing and crying can occur because of brain damage but his has a cause behind it.

**Chapter Five**

I've learned recently the best way to shave a man. It's something that I never thought I'd know or need but Kuon needs to look presentable. I let my finger go over his cheek to make sure that he's taken care of. It's now been a frightening two months and the doctors are suggesting that he might not wake up or if he does, he'd be in a vegetative state. I don't want that to happen.

I go to the side table and look at the flowers. They need to get changed again. I feel like such a terrible wife only bringing him roses once a week but he'd tell me that he doesn't need anything special despite my wanting to purchase it for him. "I'll get you some more, honey," I tell him as I push his golden hair back and kiss his forehead, avoiding the scar in case he _can_ feel pain.

"Please keep fighting, Corn," I whisper as I look at his peaceful face. I don't want to see agony on it and I can feel him healing. I kneel down and take hold of his hand, pressing it to my heart. "We're all excited for when you wake up." I tell him. It's starting to be September and Rose was born in September. She'll want for her father to be with her on her birthday and Kuon won't be able to be there. He'll be disappointed if he misses her birthday. I'll be saddened if I'm not with him on my own.

"What if he doesn't, Mo," I hear a familiar voice from behind me and I turn around. I smile at Kanae but I feel confused about how to respond.

"He's _going_ to wake up," I attempt to tell her but she looks as if she doesn't believe me. "Moko-chan, he's _going_ to wake up," I repeat and Kanae frowns.

"It might be better if he doesn't," she says and my eyes widen. She didn't just say that, did she? No. Moko-chan wouldn't say anything so unkind and hurtful.

"What do you mean?" I ask. I still can't believe that I heard her correctly. Kanae is my friend, a close friend to me. She was once my best friend.

"What do you think I mean, Mo?" she says as she comes towards me and crosses her arm over her chest. "Even if he _does_ wake up, I can't believe that you don't know the statistics." I pause and stare at her. "If he's gone through brain surgery and has been in a coma for this long, he's bound to have a mental disability."

I think back to when I visited Nate and he had difficulty with his reading despite years of recovering. I stare at her. I know that he's almost certain to have some kind of illness associated with his mental functioning but he'll still be my husband, he will _still_ be Kuon. "So?" I blink looking at her with a raised eyebrow. "Maybe he'll need to be cared for but he's not stupid. Even if the world thinks of him as someone with a lower than average IQ, he's not stupid. I will never think that he's an idiot or that he's stupid. He saved me. He risked his own life to protect me."

"Yeah," Kanae shrugs and I know there's something she wants to add to that. "It's true but because of this guy, you haven't been able to concentrate on your acting. If you go back to Japan, you'll be in very high demand."

I stare at her. What is she talking about? Yes, in the past I loved acting and I wanted to be an actress who could represent Japan but that was years ago. I love designing clothes and accessories and seeing people transform when they wear them. Besides, what is truly irritating to me is Kuon being referred to as 'this guy'. Does Moko not understand because she's never been married. I love Kuon. It feels like to just accept the fact that she called him 'this guy' would be disrespectful.

"You mean my _husband?_" I ask stressing the word to make her see that he's not some random person but he's the person I love with my whole heart, that I love so unconditionally. "I don't care about acting. I care about him being alive."

"I just think there is a silver lining to everything," Moko tells me and I stare at her. I can't believe that she's saying this. What kind of silver lining can there be if Kuon is in a coma and has been in a coma for two months and could die at any moment whether I get to say goodbye to him or not.

"Well, I am very happy that he's not dead!" I snap at her. I've never been so angry at her. I value our friendship but she should at least care enough about me that she doesn't come in here and start throwing insults about my life and Kuon. "I'm sorry," I bow my head and look towards Kuon again. "I don't want you here right now."

…

…

_He can't be too harsh to his pregnant wife can he? I know that when he was my sempai, my idol, he often helped me by saying things to get me to change but that hasn't happened for a while. Then again, I have never brought anything like this up to him before. I step into the living room and see him slumped with a book. I smile as I see that it's a parenting guide for new fathers. He's always so cute when he's 'studying' how to be a dad. _

"_Kuon," I cough with one hand on my belly. I see him stand up and put the book down. His face shows that he's a little taken aback and worried but he shouldn't have to worry. I hum softly. "Can I talk to you about something?" I bow my head, feeling my cheeks warm and I start shaking slightly. _

_Kuon approaches me and puts a hand on my upper arm, "Are you all right, princess? Do you feel a pain? Do you want to go to the doctor and get it checked ou-"_

"_Kuon," I say firmly as I take a step backward. "I don't mean to say this to anger you or disappoint you," I look into his emerald eyes and see he's extremely confused about my actions. Maybe he expects more from me? "I don't want to act anymore. I've been told that I'm really good at something else and I know that acting brought us together but I don't want to do acting and I'm sorry if that's hard for you to accept." _

_He stares at me, nodding slowly. _

"_Will you still love me if I'm not trying to be an actress?" I ask him and he stands there stunned. Does he think that this is a joke? I look at him again and he continues to stare at me. "I just…"_

"_What are you talking about?" he asks me slowly, "I would love you no matter what. It's impossible for me not to love you. There's only one job that I would hate for you to do and would struggle with accepting and I don't think that you're going to…do that."_

"_I don't think I'd earn much money that way," I tell him with a straight face. "Not many people want to be in bed with a pregnant woman who is happily married to her husband. No, I was thinking of designing clothes and outfits, maybe even costumes."_

_Kuon smiles as he looks at what I'm holding. "Is that your sketchbook?" he asks and I nod. I open it and show him a few pieces and he's grinning looking at them each as if it's the most beautiful object ever. He has such a glow around him, his face shows such pride in me and I'm giddy. I just haven't felt this way since I learned about our unborn daughter. _

"_Well," he says and I tilt my head to the side, "Did you want to sign up for a design school?" I smile and nod. "Then let's find out what options there are." I throw my arms around him despite my pregnant belly. He's being so supportive. Shotaro might have called this a waste of time or that I wouldn't get very far or that I didn't understand what beauty was but I know Kuon will support me no matter what. I'm really thankful for that. _

_He continues to turn the pages looking at each design with genuine interest. It reminds me once again why I fall more and more in love with him._

…..

…

Rose's birthday is coming up in a few days. I know that she wanted to spend her birthday with her family and that she has a love for her dad that can't be substituted but Kuon hasn't woken up yet. Soon Rose's birthday will have passed and it will be our anniversary, then my birthday, then Kuon's own birthday, then Ana's birthday and back to Rose's birthday again. If Kuon doesn't wake up will he just not be there for all of those celebrations which we share?

Three months, it's been nearly three months since the accident and although my ankle is healed. Kuon is still in his coma. They asked me a couple of weeks ago if I wanted the paperwork on pulling the plug and ending the life support. Why would I do that? They know that with only a few exceptions, I come here every day and spend at least half an hour with him.

I wash him, make sure to shave him, take care of his hair and grooming, make him clothes and dress him appropriately to the heat. I'm going to continue doing this for as long as he spends fighting for us. I let my fingers go over his cheek again. I love him. He finally showed me that you can achieve a fairytale ending without it being a fantasy. That's why I married him, because he made love seem safe and happy and he made me feel like I was a better version of myself for falling in love with him.

When I close my eyes I can still see our wedding day. I had thought that I had looked beautiful when I had turned around to look at myself in the mirror but it was nothing to the sparkling butterfly I became when he watched me. He looked so excited and happy and I was happy that we could share all that joy together and it felt safe, like a home is supposed to feel.

I can't believe he's still unconscious. I feel tears in my eyes as I look at him and kneel down, kissing his lips and then putting my head against the mattress. I'm a mess but I don't care. I've been forcing myself to work but everything I design is inspired by him and those precious moments. I make sure to pull the blanket in, tucking him in again to keep him warm. I fluff up the sheep pillow that I bought for him when he was still Ren Tsuruga. He's always taken such care of this gift.

"I love you, Corn," I tell him as I take a step back.

"mmwumuu" he says back, turning his head towards me. I blink, dabbing at my eyes immediately. Did I just imagine that? He's not opening his eyes but he's moving, he can hear me. He's in a different position.

"Kuon," I whisper as I put my hand on his upper arm and press the button to call the nurses. Does this mean he's waking up? Will I finally get to see into those emerald eyes that I love so much? It's been just over three months since he saved me. "Sweetheart," I whisper as I feel myself choke on a happy laugh. "Can you hear me, Corn? I'm right here, my prince, I'm right here," I tell him. I grab to his hand and feel a light squeeze. He's waking up! "Corn," I exhale in relief.

As the doctors enter the room, I look at them excitedly. Corn is waking up!

"He's not opening his eyes," I tell the doctor but I still have hold of his hand. He's still so weak. I see them checking various things for him but he's getting consciousness. I kiss his hand, holding it to my chest. "Corn, I'm here," I try to encourage him. I know he's said he relies on me to be his strength. I _want_ to be his strength.

As the doctor takes notes on his current condition I start to feel embarrassed. I'm a mess. I can't sleep knowing he's separated from me. I have been trying to do my best at work and with the girls. I wish that he could see me with proper hair and makeup and in better clothing. I've been dressing in things I've made for myself but it's always been more for comfort than for fashion. I feel like I'm some peasant girl again. He doesn't deserve to see me like this after what he's done for me.

"I'm here, Kuon," I promise before grabbing my phone to text the news to Father and to tell him that I'm going to be spending more time than usual at the hospital today.

He's waking up.

….

…

It's two hours since the doctors told me he was exiting his coma. They told me not to expect immediate change, that Kuon still needs to recover and rest and that it's going to be gradual. They said that it could take him hours to weeks to make any advancement. I know I'm being selfish but I want to see him wake up, I want to bring him back home.

I look down at some of the work in my sketchbook whilst continuing to hold his hand. I can't let go of it. I need there to be some kind of a link. I feel a movement, a slight pull away from my hand and my eyes immediately go to his face. I remember when we were filming Dark Moon together and he had his head on my lap. The doctors have told me that I shouldn't move his position in a way to do that.

I see him frown before his eyelids flicker. He really is waking up. I put the sketchbook on the floor and get down on my knees in front of him. I want to see those emerald eyes so desperately. After a moment, he opens them and looks at me confused before flinching. I see that the light is shining down on him and I kiss his hand again.

"I'll be right back," I promise him before turning down the light so it doesn't hurt his eyes. The doctors have mentioned things from seizures to feeling sick to a possibility of a stroke. Once the light isn't hurting his eyes, I go back to be with him. He stares at me confused. "Hi," I whisper to him as I take his hand again. I'm not sure how he is going to be. The doctors have warned me about personality changes.

"Kyo'o?" he asks and I smile with relief. I nod feeling the same excitement as I did when I met him in Guam as Corn.

"I'm here, sweetheart," I whisper to him. I kiss the back of his hand again. I see tears in his eyes. Are his eyes still hurting because of the light? He's not saying very much. "I'm sorry that I don't look good. I should have put more makeup on. I'm not really my attract-" he stops me with a weak shake of his head. He could have easily died but he struggled and he made it through.

Without warning, he pushes his face to the bed and starts crying. He doesn't cry. Kuon doesn't really cry, he gets angry instead or he starts to have gloom clouds around him.

"I'll get the doctor," I tell him and he shakes his head. At least he can understand the words that I'm saying. They told me that he might exhibit unusual emotions and him crying like this definitely doesn't seem usual to me. Does he remember the accident? "Are you in pain?" I ask but he doesn't respond. I know I should alert the nurse but I don't want to stress him out.

"I'm going to hold you," I tell him before getting into the bed and wrapping my arms around him. I no longer have to count fairies when he needs me for emotional support in bed. That hasn't happened for nine years. I kiss his back as he continues to sob. "I love you."

"wo'ou" he finally says. At least he's attempting to speak. I wonder how affected his speech is now but I still love him unconditionally. Even if he was to act like Shotaro, I would still love him. As he calms down a little and starts to fall asleep. I press the button to call for the nurse. At least I can relay what happened.

I just have the feeling that he's not going to suddenly wake up and things will go back to normal.

**End of Chapter Five**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thank you to H-Nala and Kaname671 for reviewing Chapter Six


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: **Okay, so there are only two flashbacks in this chapter but I hope you still enjoy them.

**Chapter Six**

"We're going to adjust the amount of pain medication we're giving him," the doctor tells me and I see the pain on Kuon's face despite him falling asleep. I want to make sure he's not in pain. I see the scar where they had to operate on his head injury. He hasn't seen it. He's barely seen anything. I feel horrible. I have no idea how his speech is going to be or how he's going to be mentally. I'm glad that he's awake. Corn has always been kind and sweet and patient with me. Maybe the traits that Ren had strongly aren't there but I love him. I can't imagine ever not being in love with Kuon.

…_.._

…_.._

_I don't care how long I have to wait up here, I know that it's going to be worth it and I want to give my future wife the time she needs to really experience the happiness she's hopefully feeling. "You know, she might be getting cold feet," Yashiro tries to toy with me as he stands beside me as my best man. "What would you do then?"_

"_What would I do?" I laugh softly. "I don't think that's going to be the case." _

"_You mean that you and Kyoko are really going to get married. Well, I'm happy for you Kuon, you've been waiting a really long time for this," he says but it's true. I love her. I am so incredibly lucky that I get to be in love with someone like Kyoko. I am more lucky that I am loved by someone so beautiful. I know that she'll make me feel happy and lucky every day of my life. I only hope I can make her feel that same love that she provides to me._

_I hear the sound of music and see the butterflies get released and then I see her. My own fairytale princess. I don't know if I've ever felt happier than I do at this moment as I see her walking down the aisle, accompanied by my dad who is beaming with pride. I can't take my eyes off of her. She's so amazingly beautiful. I can't believe I get to be her husband._

_She blushes as she looks at me but I love her. I only hope that I'm not making her uncomfortable. She takes a deep breath as she reaches out for my hand. I take hers. Her gloves are so soft. Hopefully soon I'll be able to remove one of them and put the wedding ring on her hand._

_I love her so much. I need her like I need oxygen. I don't know how I could survive without her. There's no fear or desire to leave. I don't ever want to leave her. I didn't think this type of love was possible._

…_.._

…

I feel really sick, violently sick as I wake up. My body feels as if it's been stuck in a washing machine like a rag doll and that heavy pain radiating across my forehead is more than just physical pain, it's as if my brain is scrambled, a large glob of Jello. I find it really hard to focus and I feel the tears in my eyes again. As I cry, I feel a gentle hand push back my hair. I know her touch anywhere.

"Kyo—kko?" I ask weakly, stuttering a little. I haven't stuttered like that before. Even when I was being bullied as a kid, I always stayed strong. I really don't feel well.

"I'm here," she attempts to tell me and there is a ringing in my head that seems to come with her voice. I open my mouth but it's as if I don't know how to say anything. How is that possible? I have to concentrate, think of something to do something to say because it's as if all my reasoning skills are -

Black. Pain. Bus.

I feel sick again and my body trembles as I start sobbing into the bedsheet. This isn't like me at all but I can't help it. I can't battle against the pain I'm feeling. I feel her gentle hand on my back. I feel it would be better to let go of concentrating too hard but I'm not stupid. I don't want for her to see me as stupid.

I feel her move and I lift my head up. The buzzing gets louder and all I want to do is vomit onto the ground but I don't want for her to leave. I'm scared that she's going to leave me. How am I experiencing a fear that I haven't had since I was a child? "No go," I tell her as my eyes widen. Did I actually say that? What did I mean to say?

"No," she says as she tries and fails to hide a sob. "No, my love, of course not. I'm not going to go anywhere. Come here," she says as she sits up and gently moves my head to her lap. She continues to push her fingers through my hair lovingly. Why can't I communicate with her? Why is it that I can think but I don't understand how to use my words? If my speaking abilities are flawed shouldn't my mental capacities be flawed as well?

"Sss-orry," I stutter to her and she shakes her head as I look up at her. I can see that she's been through a lot of pain and I hate that. I've seen her through numerous emotions but with her long black hair falling messily over her shoulders and her face natural without any makeup on, her eyes red and puffy, I know she's been in pain. I hate it. I used to be her strength. What if I can't do that for her anymore?

"Corn," she whispers to me. "I love you, you know I love you, right?" she asks and I nod. I want to tell her that I love her too but even though I can think of these things, I don't know how to get it through with my words. I am – was an actor. My words and the way I delivered them was everything. "You have nothing to be sorry about."

"Sick," I tell her and she looks at me. I can see her worry about the way I'm speaking. It's as if I'm a child. She nods and grabs a large bowl that is in the room, the doctors must have left it there. She gently helps me sit up and I vomit. I hate this. I hate being so weak compared to who I was before the bus. I hate showing my flaws and insecurities. She watches me, her hand on my shoulder, squeezing it and her other massaging my back.

I hear her sob but she tries to catch it. I'm hurting her. My behavior and especially my speech is causing her pain. I hate myself for that. I promised myself that I would never do anything to trouble her. Why is it so damn difficult to form words when I can _think_ of the words. She gently lets me sit against the wall and grabs a cup of water from beside the bed. "Can you drink this?" she asks me. She's acting scared and nervous and I can't help but feel that I'm scaring her. I drink it slowly and she makes a quick attempt to not let me see her crying.

"I'm here, Kuon," she tells me as she kneels on the bed and faces me directly, making eye contact with me. "It'll be okay. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere," she gently lets her hand rest against my cheek. She's not talking down to me despite my speech. She's trying to treat me as normal. How long will it be before she feels that I'm not the man that I used to be, that I'm not _her_ Kuon.

…

…

"_So," the president says because of course, the president wanted to be the one to marry us, "I'm so proud of the both of you. Now, as I understand it," he says proudly and I look at Kuon who is sharing a playful glance with me. I smile happily and excitedly. "You've both written vows, now, Kuon, I personally feel that you should be the one to start."_

_I laugh, I look down and blush. He's written these words especially for me and I'm excited and nervous. I don't think that he'd cancel the wedding and I'm sure that whatever he says to me is going to be beautiful and give me strength and motivation through my whole life. He's Corn. He's not a bad person at all. He's my fairytale prince._

"_Kyoko, my princess Kyoko," he begins. That's his pet name for me because of how well he knows me. I call him my fairy prince, I've always wanted to have a fairy prince to whisk me away. _

"_I never thought that I would be lucky enough to have someone like you in my life. I never believed that I deserved to find a love like the one that we share. I always thought that even if I found someone to care about, I wouldn't deserve to be with them and to love them the way I do now. I fall more and more in love with you each day, my princess. Thank you for teaching me about love. Thank you for making me see that life is worth living. I promise to do whatever is in my power to make sure you are never hurt, that you always have someone to rely on and trust it, and I will never close my heart to you or treat you as anything less than the wonderful and inspiring woman that you are. I love you, Kyoko. I can't ever describe in words how strongly I love you."_

_I feel tears in my eyes. How did we even find one another again?_

_What would have happened if I had never dropped Corn? What if I never wanted to get revenge on Shotaro. If Shotaro hadn't hurt me as he did, I might never be standing here with someone who cares so much for me. _

_I love you, Kuon. _

….

….

'No go.' 'Sorry.' 'Sick.'

I can't control the tears. His ability to make sounds is still there and he's said some words but it's at a lower level than Ana and she's two. I hate this. I don't want to see him struggle with speaking when he's always been a great conversationalist. I won't allow for myself to think him stupid though. He's just gained consciousness. His brain is still foggy. He'll recover before I know it, his brain just needs to wake up.

I bow my head. How selfish can I be? He's still Kuon. He hasn't _stopped_ being Kuon. I want him to wake up again but it's as if he only wakes up for about five minutes and then sleeps again for another hour. I'm really a terrible person. I shouldn't demand more from him than he can give.

His eyes open again and I watch him, he looks at me. "You stay—ed," he says and I smile.

"Of course, I stayed," I tell him, "Why wouldn't I stay? I love you so much. I was so worried about you. People didn't -"

He cringes and grabs my hand, his eyes look at me pleadingly, "Slow…please?" he says and I pause. Was that too much information for him? I nod, trying not to cry again. "Love you," he smiles to me. His voice sounds weak, slow, unlike himself but he's communicating with me much better than he was before.

"I love you too," I tell him as I smile. I can work with these short sentences. He can still talk to me. He still understands me. I try to pace my speech. Even if he does need me to speak at a slower pace, he's not stupid. "I'm happy you're awake." I tell him and take a deep breath in, waiting for those words to sink in. "I'm happy you're alive."

He smiles softly and nods, "My brain," he points as I wait for him to get his sentence out. "Sorry. My words…slow." I open my mouth to argue with him. It's not something he needs to apologize for. He has to have a more deliberate speaking pattern because of what he's been through. "I—I'm no'…stup-pid."

No. He's not stupid. He's hurt. He's in pain. He's not stupid.

"Sweetheart, you've had surgery on your brain," I say very slowly. I try to pace my words so that he can understand each one. He closes his eyes sadly. "You need to heal." I hate to break it to him but I'm going to be with him every moment of his recovery. He's my precious husband. Apart from the girls, he's the one person who matters most to me. I'm going to help him and accommodate his disabilities however I can. "I love you."

"Love you," Kuon smiles before we both hear someone cough from the doorway of the room. I look over and see Julie standing there.

"He's awake," I tell her and Julie gives a laugh showing her relief, she approaches Kuon and kisses his forehead. She gently lets her hand go onto his shoulder. "Oh sweetheart, I'm so glad to see you awake. Your father and I, we've been so worried about…" I see her notice how Kuon isn't keeping up with all of this.

"His thinking is a little slower than before so don't rush with your words," I try to explain and Juile pauses but only for a second, she reaches a hand out to Kuon and kisses his forehead away from the scar.

"Hi, my darling. I'm glad you're awake, I was so worried for you." She says this slowly and calmly and for some reason, although her tone doesn't sound harsh, it sounds as if she's talking down to him and treating him as a child.

"He's still intelligent," I argue back and Julie stares at me confused and taken aback. "He'll still understand even if you don't speak to him as a child."

Julie frowns and raises one of her eyebrows, did that come out badly somehow. "I don't think my son is unintelligent. I have always talked to him and seen him not as _a_ child but as _my_ child. That's never going to stop being the case." She turns back and we both see Kuon is having a hard time following. Julie grabs his hand. "You'll always be my baby boy," she says slowly and Kuon nods, squeezing her hand back in return.

Should I have jumped to that accusation? She wouldn't really hurt him, would she?

**End of Chapter Six**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thanks to Kaname671 for reviewing Chapter Five


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

_Tsuruga-san, how did you learn to play the piano so well in such a short time._

_Tsuruga, you were really impressive when you were driving that car. It was scary._

_Tsuruga, you're really good at handling weapons. Have you practiced in the past?_

"Mr. Hizuri, I want you to lift your right leg."

How did I get here? How did I even get to be in this position? This is apparently the third day I've been awake and there has been a lot of atrophy to my body. Fortunately, I didn't land on my back or spine so I have full mobility but I just had to take most of the injury to my head. It's amazing that I can even think like – busses are probably that big for a reason – this, so normally.

"Mr. Hizuri," the nurse says as she snaps her fingers in front of my face as if I'm some dog looking for a treat. "If you could pay attention."

"Maybe….you could….my husband…respe…" I look at Kyoko trying to focus on the words but it's as if I'm stuck in a place where I can only hear half her words, the others sound like white noise to me. Apparently it's better, it feels better. I just keep concentrating on what I _can't_ do instead of what I can do.

The nurse ignores Kyoko and looks at me, "Lift your right leg," she instructs and I lift my leg. She looks at me and shakes her head, noting it down on the paper. What did I do wrong? I lifted my leg…my right…left? Which leg did she want me to raise?

"Corn," Kyoko says as she comes to sit with me. "You lifted your leg, my love." She kisses my upper arm and then gives one of her Natsu looks to the nurse. "So what if….his left leg?" Oh. That was what was wrong. I wanted to move my right leg but I moved my left instead. I look at my hands and do the trick with my thumb where you know it's left because it makes an L. I nod. I'll have to practice on that.

"Y-Yeah," I nod with a weak look down. She's impressed by such a small thing.

"Okay, so the speech…going to…in…" I look at her and find that she's turned her entire attention to Kyoko as if I need some translator to understand things. Just because I need things said a little slower right now doesn't mean I'm stupid. Kyoko kisses my cheek before standing up.

"Can you…" she says going at a speed she knows I can follow, "address my _husband_ about his treatment." Kyoko knows to leave about a second pause between each word to give my brain a chance to catch up. She's really doing everything possible to accommodate me.

"Can….you…work…on….your…sentences," the nurse says to me with three second pauses as if she's talking to a baby. If I was a more vindictive person I'd want to see her fired but I'm not going to cause someone to lose their job. However, with the way that Kyoko is looking and with the type of fame I _had_ as an actor, I don't think that nurse is going to come to _this_ room. As she leaves, Kyoko screams and kicks the floor before turning back to me.

She smiles softly and pushes my hair back gently, "You want to say them to me?" she asks and I nod.

"Hello," I start out and Kyoko smiles. At least I'm able to say that one word albeit a little slowly. "My name….i-i-i-iss…Kuon" I shake my head. The only reason I stumble on that word is because I kept forgetting it when I was practicing so now I try to put more effort into it. I don't want to embarrass her. "Thank you. Gooddbye."

I would really suck if I tried to do an acting job with my current abilities. Kyoko looks thrilled though. She doesn't look angry or disappointed at all. She's looking impressed and proud. She should not be proud of me. I'm a thirty-one-year-old who doesn't know the difference between my left and my right.

"Did you want to come home tomorrow for a little bit?" she says as she approaches me. I know what she's referring to. I hate that I have to be this way when my daughter has her birthday. I don't want to make it all about me and I don't want her to have to feel embarrassed by her disabled father. I shake my head. "You know…"

"Aaapo—" I struggle and look into her eyes.

"We'll come here after the cake then," Kyoko says and I freeze. I don't want my daughter to see me like this but I want to see her on her birthday. I don't know how that is going to go. I'm not the person that Rose remembers. Hopefully she forgives me for this.

…

…

_Kuon hasn't been able to put her down since we arrived back home. This is our first daughter. A gorgeous little girl called Rose. I wanted to call her Briar Rose or Princess Rosa and Kuon had told me that he thought Rose was a sweet name, we didn't need to call her anything other than Rose. I agreed with him on that and Yashiro made a joke that it was about Kuon's love for botany but I know he was trying to give me what I wanted whilst making it more reasonable._

_Yet, as I look at him, I know that he was always meant to be a father. He's in love with her and it makes me so proud to see this. He walks with her to the window where there is a bird flying around. He points out the bird to her and smiles upon her. He's so happy. I'm scared that something will go wrong but Kuon makes it feel easy. He makes love for both of us seem easy._

"_It's going to be hard to put down this princess," he tells me and I laugh, watching him as he holds Rose close to him. I am sleepy from the hospital but I feel that Kuon is going to stay beside this little girl whilst she sleeps. I'm really lucky that I get to have this man as my husband._

"_You need some rest too," I try to persuade him. I move forwards and place my hand on top of his wrist. _

"_I will," he says and then smiles to me, "You think that I'll be a good father."_

"_No," I tell him and he looks disappointed for a brief moment. "You already are a good father." _

…

…

Rose is adorable as she shares a cupcake with her favorite toy unicorn. It was really cute when she picked it out and asked Kuon if he'd get her a unicorn for a pet. He told her that they were so rare that even though there were numerous little girls who would love and protect them, they were shy and so we had to respect them. He even told her about different mythological unicorns and how they had a unicorn land. Kuon's always been incredibly creative, it's not something that one automatically thinks of when it comes to him but he's come up with so many stories and acted as if he heard them elsewhere. He was the perfect father. I still believe he's the perfect father but the girls have to be taught eventually.

"Did you have a good birthday?" I smile as she licks off some of the cream from the cake that I made for her.

"Yeah…but…" Rose says nervously. She looks away. I know she doesn't want to tell me what's wrong. I know that I already know what's wrong. She wants her father here. She wants for her dad to be here wishing her a happy birthday and because of me that hasn't happened.

"Do you know where we're going in a little bit?" I ask and Rose takes a nervous breath.

"Can we really visit Daddy?" she asks excitedly and I smile. I know that Father has already gone to the hospital to make sure that Kuon is prepared to be able to see us. He's been working so hard on just saying happy birthday to Rose but I have a feeling in my heart that the girls want more from Kuon than he's able to give.

"Daddy got really hurt? Do you remember?" I ask and she nods her head, turning a little more pale. I know how worried she's been about her father and she's just been acting for Ana's sake that he's on a business trip. Rose is smart. She takes after Kuon in that. "His brain is…his brain is really tired, his mind can't think very quickly."

Rose looks at me confused, "His brain went to sleep?"

I look at her and reach out my hand for her little one, I kiss the back of it and hum. "Daddy's trying his hardest but he's still sick. He'll have to stay in the hospital for a little longer but we're going to go visit hi so we can spend some of your birthday with him." I look down, hating to say this but it needs to be done. "He looks different too," I explain, "he's got some injuries but when he speaks, if he looks sad or his face seems slow or saggy or anything, he's trying," I tell her. "He loves you. You know Daddy loves you two more than anything, right?"

"Yeah," Rose nods before closing her eyes. "I just want to see Daddy."

I go over to her and hug her close, "Then we'll go and see Daddy," I tell her hoping that this is the start of our family reuniting once again.

…

…

"Don't be nervous okay," Dad tells me as he squeezes my hand. He knows that I'm struggling but he's never changed the amount of respect he gives me. He's just been a lot more involved with what's going on with me meaning that he's not answering his phone and he's not listening to the doctors asking him questions about work. He's already told them a few times that he wants to focus on my healing and that he wants to know everything possible about my condition.

"I—ha-a-pp," I close my eyes, there is something like a red and white bar that I can see through the pain. I start to feel sick but I practiced for this today. Kyoko helped me put the words together. Sky…squirrel…no concentrate, I have to concentrate. "Happ—yy bir'dday" I struggle. The word sounds slow and as if it's coming from a foreign language speaker but I still am trying to give my daughter that. I should be able to give her so much more.

Before I can really try it again, I hear a knock on the door and Kyoko pokes her head in before I hear the sound of my daughters and I feel terrified. I'm not the person they knew as their father. As much as I might look like him and wish to be him, I can't do the things that their father used to do. I get upset easily. I lose concentration. When I try to think of things I feel dizzy and my vision blurs and I feel nauseous.

"Daddy!" Rose yells as she climbs up onto the bed and Ana attempts to follow her lead. "…Hos..ni..ha..om…home…ma…bir…cak…you ge…"

I know that my daughters like to talk fast and we've always brought them up to have a natural curiosity about the world but I have no idea what Rose is attempting to tell me. She's talking too fast and although I want to listen to her, I only got my name. I smile, nodding along despite not being able to comprehend what she's saying.

"Daddy needs some rest, Rose," she says as she kisses the top of Rose's head, keeping her words nice and slow with a calm tone for me. Rose pouts at her.

"Mama…" she says with a roll of her eyes and her speech slows a little, "I'm not a kid… you don't have to talk like that."

I pale. Kyoko nods shakily before helping Ana onto the bed and I pull both of my gorgeous girls into my arms. I know that Kyoko's not speaking that way for Ana or Rose but for me. I know that Rose isn't trying to insult me either. She's always grown up with such a strong, capable, talented father but now she has whatever mess I've become.

"Happppy bi—irthday," I struggle and my girls all look at me. I know my voice sounds weird and it's going to be difficult for them both to understand what I'm going through but I got it out. Rose looks at me confused and then turns back to Kyoko for an explanation that I truly wish I could give her.

"I told you girls, Daddy is a little sick right now but we're rooting for him to get better, right?" she asks, still with a slow voice and Rose looks at her confused. I know that they don't understand the brain surgery or the fact that I now need to have things calmly stated to me or my brain starts buzzing due to the extra noise.

"Yeah," Rose replies and Ana nods along. "I hope you feel better soon. I misted you, Daddy."

"Yeah," Ana giggles, "I misted you too."

**End of Chapter Seven**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Six

H-Nala, Kanaem671

Also, yay, I just passed 2.8M words written on this account


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

I smile warmly as I reach a hand out to Kuon. The girls have snuggled up next to him and both fallen asleep and as much as I want to watch this, there are visiting hours for a reason. I gently place my hand on Kuon's cheek and kiss him passionately. I really don't want to leave him. I know that he's been nervous to interact with the girls. He always compares himself to the him before the accident, the him who was athletic and won a top award and had people idolizing him. He needs to stop doing that. He needs to start comparing himself to how he was the previous day because he's made such great improvement in such a limited time.

"We have to go home now," I tell him as I gaze into those emerald eyes. I know that he's sleepy. He's probably exhausted himself for the girls but that's who he is. He's always made sacrifices for our family. "I'll be back in the morning."

Kuon nods as he hugs Ana again and I lift her into my arms. Kuon places a hand on Rose's back, "Ro-Ross-e" he says slowly and I'm happy that he still remembers both of their names. Maybe he has difficulty with some words but when I read that parents can often forget the names of their children, it haunted me. Kuon has a tight hold on that information.

Rose blinks sleepily and looks around. "Huh?" she asks and I put my free hand on the top of her head. "Mama?" she asks as she looks at me and then smiles up at Kuon. She hugs him again which Kuon returns.

"Come on, my love," I tell her as I reach out for her hand. "We have to go home now. You need your beauty sleep," I tell her playfully. It's something that she's told me a number of times, that she needs to get rest to look beautiful.

Rose looks up sleepily and then turns to Kuon, "but Daddy," she protests.

"Daddy will be home soon," I try to assure her and Kuon nods along. Rose pouts but reaches for my hand. "Is it okay if I bring the girls tomorrow?" I ask him and he looks at both girls before nodding without saying anything. "Come on, sweetie," I tell Rose again. "We can visit Daddy after school."

Rose reluctantly gets off the bed before grinning to Kuon, "I love you, Daddy," she tells him and Kuon smiles to her. He bows his head, taking slow breaths in.

"Lo' you…ttoo," he gets out in this broken manner. Rose nods and starts to follow me out of the room. Kuon really did try his best for both of them but I don't think they understand how hard these simple things, such as having a conversation with them, are for him. I caused this for him. This inability. If only I had been able to get my shoe out of that hole or I hadn't been distracted by Shotaro then he wouldn't have had to save me. I really fail as his wife.

"Why does Daddy speak like that?" Rose asks when we leave the hospital and I turn to her. Did she wait until we were outside to ask that question out of respect for Kuon. Is that how mature our daughter is? I sigh and walk over to the car. Ana still asleep in my arms.

"When Daddy got hit by the bus, his body flew up in the air and he hurt himself very badly," I don't know how to explain this to a six-year-old but I'm going to try my best. "He hurt his head and had to have it treated because there was something pushing against it which would have caused a lot of blood to enter the brain. They had to cut some off like when I trim your hair. Our brain isn't like hair though, it's important for doing the things we do every day."

"Blood like a scrape? Like when I fell down?" Rose asks and I smile weakly getting Ana into her car seat.

"Something like that but a very very bad one." I turn to her not knowing how much information to trust my daughter with but she's older and wiser now. Maybe she can handle it. "Rose, you remember when you and Daddy found the bird that fell out of the tree?" I ask and Rose nods, tears in her eyes because even though they both attempted to save the animal, it died and devastated Rose. "Well, that bird died, right?" I ask and Rose nods again.

"Yeah, Daddy said it wouldn't wake up even if I fed it" Rose replies and I feel a deep shiver through my body as I remember how long Kuon was in his coma.

"Daddy was asleep for so long because he was trying to not die like the bird," I tell her and see her eyes fill with tears. "He's brave and strong, though. He managed to wake up but…he got hurt. He's trying his best to get better for us but it will take a long time for him to get better. He's going to be talking like that for a while," I try to explain and I desperately hope that it's not for his whole life but that is a possibility.

"Because he hurt his brain?" Rose points and I nod. Rose looks away nervously, "Is he still Daddy? Does he still act like Daddy? Does he still like his favorite things? Does he still like playing with us?" she asks quickly and I pull her to my chest.

"Of course, he still loves you and wants to play with you," I assure her. I know that despite how reserved Kuon is, he wants to be with his family and being with our daughters made him very happy today. "I promise you that even if he speaks differently or behaves differently or has trouble doing things, he's not going to stop being your daddy. I can't even begin to explain how much he loves you. Daddy still loves us more than anything in the world. Spending time with you and Ana will never stop being one of his favorite things. He's just going to need some time and some patience and a lot of love."

"I love him soooo much," Rose tells me and I smile before helping her into the car and securing her seatbelt. She looks out of the window as I sit in the driver's seat. I can only hope that it will be a smooth transition for him to come back home. I want for him to be back with us so badly despite the amount of therapy he'll need to go through.

…

…

_What the doctors asked me at Rose's checkup bothered me. Has she said her first word yet? Yet! What do they mean, yet. I swear that my daughter can say her first word whenever she wants to. It's not to be on someone else's set schedule. The nerve of the doctors saying that about her. I'm not going to let myself become the type of mother that I had._

_I look at the alarm set on my phone. Kuon should be home in about three hours and I miss him. I know he's offered to stay here with Rose whilst I work but I wanted to be a good mother. Was it the best option for Rose though, maybe she would have spoken had she been with her father a little more rather than me._

_I walk over to the TV and turn it on to see a notification. One of Kuon's rated-everybody films is on and I beam with pride as I watch him. He's not typecast in this country, he actually is able to do everything and although he didn't like that he was asked to speak Russian as a villain in a spy movie, he did that too. I can't keep track of his schedule, it's as if he has a time turner with all the different things that he does and accomplishments he makes._

_He's also my loving Corn who always tries his best and continues to have energy to spare for our family. Whenever I feel like the world is corrupt, he's there in front of me and I fall in love with him all over again. I look to the side, there's some ironing to do. Kuon told me that he'd take care of the shirts tonight and to leave it to him to iron but I just know he's trying to share in the housework and I don't mind doing them. I actually love taking care of him so much. It's something that I get to do that nobody else does._

_He once sat down and told me that all he's asking from me is to be myself and to trust in him and he even offered to do all the cooking but I don't want to make him do something he's uncomfortable with, plus I get to plan his meals. _

_Rose giggles as she points to the screen and I smile hearing Kuon's beautiful Californian accent, the way he spoke growing up. "Daddy" she announces and I look at her excitedly. She chose the perfect word to be her first word. I know how thrilled Kuon will be when he learns about this. _

…

…

I hate this. I can't even begin to think about how much I hate being disabled. I used to be strong and fast and could do things that other people could only dream about doing. Now I'm having trouble with a simple practice task that the therapist asked me to work on. He said I was actually showing some signs of early progress but that isn't enough.

I should be dead. I should have saved Kyoko from that bus and that should be the end of me. I sigh as I look out of the window. I can't seriously be giving up on this, right? I'm alive and the doctors have told me that I should keep calm and take things slowly and soon things will start to make sense again.

I have never felt more trapped than I do right now.

I try to breathe slowly to keep calm before seeing Kyoko appear at my door with a grin over her face, I watch her as she rushes towards me. I look at the object in my hand and try to hide it from her. I don't want for her to be disappointed with me. She stares at me, she's always been one to be able to read a situation and she takes a step back. I know she's asking herself whether or not to pressure me to show her what I've been working on.

She's curious and she wants to give me as much help as I need but at the same time, she wants to be respectful and give me some independence. I know she's trying. I just don't want her to be disappointed.

I sigh and pull out the cards that they've provided me, I hand them to her and she looks at them. They're just shapes, a circle, triangle, square in primary colors, red, yellow, blue. It's an easy game of finding a matching pair using memory. I'm not very good at it. Before the accident I was amazing.

"Ssee," I tell her as I take the cards from her. I sigh as I put them on a tray by my bed. I turn them so they are all facing downwards, "It's a…ga-game," I tell her as I try to find a match. The therapist told me that just by playing this game for twenty minutes a day, I'll be able to improve my memory and reasoning skills and prevent my brain from getting damaged due to lack of use. I don't think lack of use is a problem.

I see Kyoko watching me as I stare at the card in my hand and then look at each of the other cards. I can't remember where they are. The therapist told me that if I feel stressed that I am to play the matching game with all the cards facing up. I'm better than that. I just don't get why I'm finding this so hard. I've matched far harder things, even when I was a kid I found this unbelievably simple.

After she watches me for a while, I see Kyoko's eyes move to the cards which are a match. Of course she's figured this out. She doesn't have to worry about it or looking stupid. "I'm so—sorry," I struggle out and Kyoko kisses my cheek, resting her forehead against my cheek. I turn the cards over so they are all facing up and now I just have to do a simple matching. It's still difficult but it doesn't feel impossible anymore.

Kyoko is about to say something but we hear another knock on the door. "Most likely one of the doctors, I'll get it, you keep playing," she tries to comfort me before going to the door and opening it. Her jaw drops and I feel afraid for the first time of the person on the other side of the door.

Fuwa.

**End of Chapter Eight**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Seven

H-Nala


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

I honestly don't understand it. I know I've been gone for a while and that's my own fault because I've been trying to relaunch my career but I never thought I'd see this. Despite her designing clothes instead of acting, I didn't really consider a plain boring woman who was simply content with being a wife and mother. She's dressed in a light sweater and jeans and her makeup is very minimal. Her eyes have dark bags around them and she tied her hair back in a ponytail probably for ease and convenience. And she's standing next to _him_ and considering the scars on his face and definitely the one across the top of his forehead, he's retarded and pathetic.

"What are you doing here?" I ask her and she looks between Hizuri and me as if I'm an idiot. It's not a dumb question but it possibly have a dumb answer. She deserves better than this. She has to just be pitying him.

"Get out right now," she hisses, her eyes turning cold. Look, I had to save my own life. I didn't have to save hers. I didn't have to give her anything. Hizuri looks at me without saying anything. I look to the cards on a tray in front of him and step forwards.

"Don't you get it," I tell Hizuri who turns stiff. "This one goes with this o—" I've picked up two identical looking cards but I feel a tight grip on my wrist. I turn across and see that hateful look, that glare across her face. "It's not my fault he's got the intellect of a child. Come on. You know you deserve better."

"Don't you say one more word," Kyoko says as I can feel her nails pierce my skin. Is that going to leave bruising. "Get the hell out Shotaro. You don't get to just waltz in here and start insulting the man I love. I don't want to see you again."

I roll my eyes and turn to Hizuri who hasn't said anything. "You really want to keep her trapped in your false relationship?" I ask him and his eyes widen, his back straightens. "You're not good for her. Do you just want to take her down with you. I pity her." I slow down my speech to match his stupidity. "You are hurting her. If you care about her at all you'd know she needs someone who can take care of her and not some retarded cripple like you. You understand what I'm saying or is Hizuri-kun too stupid for that," I mock him.

I feel myself thrown onto my back as there is a dark aura filling the room. I don't know what is going on but hopefully she understands the truth now. She glares at me as she stands over me and places a foot on my chest, pressing down.

"I swear Shotaro," she says and I feel disgusted by the use of that name. "If you say one more word, you won't live to see the result." She pulls on my collar and barely gives me time to stand up before dragging me out of the door. She quickly closes it. She's going to tell me the truth about loving me and not that jerk.

"I swear, if you've made his healing process any harder with those words, I will never forgive you. You personally saw how he got hurt and it was because you're too much of a coward to even pull me backwards. You're too damn prideful and self-involved."

"Leave him. What I said was correct, you don't need to be with a mentally challenged freak like him."

"My _husband_," she whispers coldly. "Is NOT a mentally challenged freak but you sure are," she glares again before turning to go back into the room but takes a few deep inhales and exhales before she does so. I don't know what kind of guilty emotions are trapping her in this relationship but she will be with me again soon. There's no way that she can actually be happy with _him. _

…..

…..

I'm hurting her. I knew that I was causing her pain before but Fuwa just made it all make sense to me. Hearing it from even his mouth made me see things in a new light. I never wanted to ever cause her pain. The me that I am now though isn't the me I was when we got married. She fell in love with someone confident and bold and strong both mentally and physically. I'm just lucky that I got bruised and broken but that my spine didn't get damaged. That isn't saying a lot compared to who I used to be.

I need to be alone to figure things out. I honestly thought that staying in this relationship was good because I would take care of Kyoko and the girls with every part of my being. I wouldn't need to act or go out to work but my current condition isn't what I promised Kyoko.

"He's such a roach," she says with an exhausted sigh. She turns to me with a smile and makes her way towards me. I might not have understood everything that Fuwa said but my damaged mind caught enough to understand the conversation. "I'm sorry," she apologizes.

I see how little she's been sleeping and how she is going through her own periods of scheduling her time so as not to miss anything. She's not even wearing the makeup she loves but rather the items in her purse that she puts there for convenience. She usually takes such joy in making sure her makeup and hair and outfit are cute and pretty. It looks like she hasn't partaken in that type of self-care for a while.

"Kuon?" she asks as she looks at me and I see pain and concern in her face, I don't want for her to feel those emotions. I was always able to take care of her, now I can't even take care of myself. "Corn," she whispers and I look away painfully. I don't know how to respond to her. She sits down and tears build in her eyes, I'm hurting her again, just being around her hurts her.

"Corn," she whispers. "You _had_ to have brain surgery," she tells me slowly as if trying to explain why I shouldn't feel this way. "The doctors said with the pressure that was building on your brain, if they hadn't stopped it when they did, you wouldn't have survived." She's speaking slowly so that I'm able to understand every word she says but that's another problem, she doesn't need to do that. "I want to take care of you."

I shake my head. Fuwa's right, that shouldn't be her job. Her job is to do things that she loves, to do her work, to spend time with our daughters. I've already taken enough time from her. Without even asking, she throws her arms around me, sobbing into my shoulder as I sit in the bed. Her embrace tightens. She'll get tired of me, feel drained by me like she already is. She just doesn't know how painful my staying with her will be.

"Don't listen to him, okay?" she asks as she kisses my cheek a few times and sits back with her head bowed. I know that she has a problem with people leaving her. Her mother left her. Fuwa blatantly used her for his own convenience. I promised to stay with her and protect her. I don't know if I can protect her any longer. "You're amazing. You're still so amazing. You saved me. You're my hero, my prince, my Corn."

I look at her, my tone has to be slow for me to get my own words out, "Yyyou're…not…wear-r-"

I stop. My brain feels exhausted from only half my sentence. I hate this. I used to deliver monologues with ease and now I struggle to speak properly. I won the Academy Award but if I tried to do it now I'd be laughed out of an audition.

"What?" Kyoko asks as she takes my hand, "Come on, Corn," she whispers as she kisses the back of my hand, "I believe in you. What are you telling me? Why is it a problem for us to be together? I love you. I love our family. You're a very important member of our family."

"Make…up.." I say, finally getting the word out but with difficulty.

Kyoko stares at me, blinking for a moment as if registering the information. She puts a hand to her cheek and looks down confused before staring at me as if she doesn't understand what was said. "You want to be apart because I'm not wearing makeup?" she asks still confused. I know that she's attempting to understand those words but she's confused. "I…" she leans forward and kisses my lips quickly. "Okay." She nods, still not understanding, "I'll put on some makeup. Will that make you feel better? I'll make sure that I look better. I can do that."

I shake her head. It's nothing about her looking better. It's that she's not taking time for herself and Fuwa was correct, if she's with me she'll continue not to have the time to take care of herself. I can't let that happen. "Y-Y-You…be-bea-au" I start but then feel a pain shooting through my head and I close my eyes not wanting to speak anymore. It hurts to speak.

"Sssh," she says as she wraps her arms around me again. "I know that language is difficult for you right now," she tells me before smoothing my hair back. Does she just feel pity for me? Is that why she's here? I mean, if our situations were reversed there is absolutely no way I would want for her to leave me and I probably wouldn't be taking much care of myself. I'd be trying to convince her that I was the best one to take care of her just like she is with me. "Do you think I'd embarrass you?" she asks and I look at her as if she's crazy. No. _I'm_ going to be the one to embarrass _her_, can't she see that already?

She looks down attempting to control her tears as she seems to be thinking about what I said. She looks up at me with confidence. "Are you worried that you'll take all my time up?" she asks and I nod. I don't want to see her cry. "Don't worry about that, okay?" she tells me. How can I _not_ worry about that? "I'll be happy if you're home, much happier," she attempts to explain. "Listen," she tells me in a serious manner. "If you're home. I'll be much happier than if you were gone. If you weren't there. I'd worry and I wouldn't have the confidence to take care of the girls the way that you want me to. If spending time doing my makeup and styling my hair is important to you, I can do that, but no matter how much makeup I wear or what brand, I would rather be with you."

"Fu—wwwa" I struggle again.

"Shotaro's an idiot," she replies. "Don't listen to anything that he says. He's just jealous of what we have and how much I love you. I love you, Corn. I fell in love with you when I didn't believe in love. I feel sad for you, I want to support you, but feeling a want to protect you and help you and having a wish for you to recover as much as possible, that isn't pity. I'm not with you because I pity you." She turns away. "I am sad. I am sad that you got hurt and have to go through this pain. Neither of us want that for you. Love isn't the same as pity," she tells me, slowing her words down even more. "Love is not the same as pity," she repeats before turning to me. "I love you."

I place my hand on her cheek and lead her into a kiss, she deepens it, wrapping her arms around me. Maybe I'm being stupid. I love her. Maybe I just need to let myself be selfish this time.

….

…

I feel like a fake with my hair cascading over my shoulders, my makeup looking professional, and my choice of a cute blouse, skirt, and heels. Honestly, I'd rather be wearing sweats and sneakers with a clean face and my hair pulled back but Kuon would get the wrong idea. He doesn't understand how it's not having him home that's making me depressed and apathetic.

Still, after three weeks since he woke up, Kuon has finally been given the clear to leave the hospital tomorrow. They kept him in longer than I was expecting but he did have surgery and they were worried about a possible stroke after he had been in a coma for such a long time. Father said he wanted to spend some time with Kuon today and Julie is taking care of the kids. They think I want to see Kanae before she leaves America again, I'm feeling nervous since the last time we talked.

"You look better than last time," Kanae tells me and I go over to her hesitantly. I don't want to call her Moko right now. I'm still hurt by the things she said in his hospital room. "It's good that you're taking care of yourself and not just _that guy_."

I frown and look away not wanting her to see how angry that makes me. "Kuon is not _that guy_," I stress again. "He's my husband. He's the love of my life. He saved my life. He's more important to me than any other person and the reason I look like this is because he was concerned about me."

"So…he's actually making you dress up for him. He shouldn't dictate your wardro-" Kanae begins and I feel my back straighten.

"He would never do that," I reply despite my dressing up like this because I want for him to feel better. He said he was worried that I wasn't taking time for myself so despite wanting to wear 'unappealing' clothes, I dressed up for when I see him later. "Moko," I sigh. I didn't want to focus on what I'm about to say but it's the only topic that is going through my mind. "What you said about Kuon. I don't appreciate it. Kuon is my husband and he's been with me for most of my life since I was seventeen. Right now is the hardest thing he's ever had to go through and he almost died because he wanted to save and protect me. Without Kuon taking the actions that he did, I would be dead, the doctors and police reports have proven that to me."

"You can't talk to me that way," Kanae says and I sigh. No. I can talk to her that way. I'll talk to anyone that way who has said those things about Kuon.

"Kuon _does_ have some disabilities right now. Sometimes when he thinks I'm not in the room, he gets depressed and I've caught him crying. His memory skills and logic skills need to be retrained. He has difficulty both speaking and listening to other people speak and the doctors tell me that if he forces his body too much, there is a high probability for a lasting injury. You were right, not even Kuon can go through what he went through unscathed but what's most important to me is that the kind, sweet, caring man I married is still there and he's trying his best."

I stand with my fists at my side. I know what I just said and I said it out of my need to protect him and his progress, not any kind of judgment of his current abilities.

"He can still survive in an assisted living community if you want to come back to Japan with your daughters," Kanae says and I glare at her. How dare she! I would not just walk out and abandon Kuon. I reach out and slap her before standing back. She stares at me as if I've lost my mind. Maybe I have.

"I'm sorry. Until you can respect my husband and my relationship with him. Until you finally understand how and why I love him, I don't want to see you again. Consider our friendship over," I tell her before walking away. I feel sad that I ended things since she has been my friend for so many years but as much as it hurts, I need to fill my life with happy positive things. Kuon and the girls will always be most important.

**End of Chapter Nine**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Eight

Kaname671


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

I can't help but rush to see him. I want to get that awful taste of being with Moko out of my mouth. I hate that I argued with her but I'm not going to just stand by and let her argue with me and insult my husband. I want to tell Kuon about the changes Kuu and I made at home for him. He can walk but he's slow, his coordination isn't at the level it was but they say he'll improve. I'm really excited to see him improve.

As I get to the room though, I am shocked as there is a third person in the room and I haven't seen or heard from him in a while. I drop down into a bow, "Takarada-san," I say and he laughs as he looks to me. He's dressed as a ninja despite him being Ten-san's husband now and ten years older than when I met him.

"I told you to call me Lory," he laughs and I shake my head. I could never do that. I first met him as the president and so I should treat him with respect. "Plus, it's not fair for you to treat me formally seeing as Kuon fell asleep before I got here and he hasn't woken up. Shuuhei keeps telling me not to wake him."

"It might disturb his REM cycle," Father tries to explain but the president huffs like a child. "He's had brain surgery that he needs to recover from. You're welcome to stay for when he _does_ wake up."

"Have you been somewhere?" the president asks as he looks at me with interest and I stare at him, is he talking about the clothes and makeup and my hair. I shake my head as I let my fingers run through my hair. I feel awkward like this but I know that it will make Kuon feel better.

"Has Father told you about his speech?" I ask and the president nods, "and how you have to speak in English and slowly so he can follow along," I hesitate. "Is it bad that I caused this?" I ask and Father shakes his head.

"Of course you didn't cause this," the president says and I want to argue with him. If Shotaro wasn't pursuing me, I'd have noticed where my heel was, if I didn't get my heel stuck then he wouldn't have had to save me. If he hadn't saved me then he wouldn't have gone to the hospital. He would have been fine and we would have had lunch together. I caused this but he doesn't seem to blame me for it. I do blame myself.

I hear him start to wake up and walk over to him, brushing his hair back with my fingertips. "Hello, my love," I smile as he starts to open his eyes and he grabs hold of my hand. I squeeze his in response and sit down beside him. Does he know that there are other people here? "How are you feeling?" I ask after I softly and quickly kiss his lips.

He shivers, "C-cold," he tells me and I make sure to tuck the blanket around him. It has gotten a little colder compared to last October. I push his hair back gently.

"I'm sorry. I'll try to get the nurses to change the temperature," I reply and smile at him. A woolen sweater would be a nice gift. Of course I'll do it in my favorite color on him, an emerald to match those eyes with small details in a burnt sienna tone. "I'll buy some thicker blankets for when you come home tomorrow." I don't mind feeling a little hot if it helps him. I also don't mind giving him the majority of the blanket.

I gently cup his cheek. Yes, definitely emerald. "You have a visitor," I tell him and he slowly sits up in the bed. He manages to put sit in a comfortable position before he looks at Lory in surprise. He really had fallen asleep before he came.

"B-Boss?" he asks slowly and I nod. I place my hand on his back and gently massage it by rubbing circles.

"I was worried about you," the president tells him. "I'm really glad you're awake. The girls must be thrilled," he tells him and I see Kuon nod. Hopefully the president coming is a good thing and helps him recover. That's what is most important to me right now.

…

….

_I look at Kyoko as I step into the nursery, it's been cleared out and is completely white. I watch her and she smiles at me her hand over her belly where our little princess is. She spreads her arms out wide. "Isn't this wonderful," she tells me with a smile. "We can work on it together, we can do whatever we want to paint for her."_

_I look at Kyoko and raise my eyebrow, I know that she's been thinking about fairytale castles and white horses and princesses, definitely princesses. There's something else I want to share with our daughter though. "How about we do a castle over here, I was thinking that maybe we could do an enchanted forest."_

"_Enchanted forest?" Kyoko asks me with sparkling eyes as she places a hand on my cheek. I watch her, unsure what to say. "Corn's forest," she smiles to me and presses her face into my chest. "Where I met you," she says and I cough. She blinks confused as she looks up at me. She's concerned I'm going to say something's wrong._

"_I bought it, you know," I tell her and she stares at me, tilting her head to the side. I smile as I turn away and she follows me. "They wanted to develop the land, drain the lake and so I put down some money and I bought it to protect it." _

_She stares at me confused, "You bought it…"_

"_I couldn't have anyone destroy the place where I met the love of my life," I grin to her and she runs into my arms, holding close to me. It's important to both of us. "If anything, it's a place where animals can live freely. Where people can experience nature. I just don't…"_

"_I love you," she tells me as she guides my face down to kiss me passionately. "So," she blinks back tears, "We're going to have to get some green paints."_

….

….

She's grinning so widely as she opens the door for me and I see a railing on the wall. I've been sitting in a wheelchair because my legs are weak and my sense of balance has changed, I'm also walking with a limp that hasn't healed whilst I've been in a coma. I grab hold of the railing and push myself out of the chair pushing down on the bar. It's definitely keeping me steadier then if I had to walk by myself.

I look around the house and spot a large banner that Ana and Rose made for me. Despite it taking a moment to register what it says, I can read it. 'Welcome Home, Daddy!' I smile as I look at it. The therapists have all told Kyoko they are impressed with my skills despite my feeling shame for them.

"Do you need some help?" Kyoko asks as she comes closer to me. I shake my head, managing to walk whilst holding the bar. I've always been so quick and capable that even this little set back feels like a lot. The doctors tell me that I'm lucky that with all the injuries I _did_ sustain, that I didn't damage my spinal cord and though it's a little more difficult to walk, I can do so with assistance.

Dad sets the wheelchair to the side, making sure that I'm doing okay with walking with the railing. Kyoko watches me and seems to smile as I near the guest bedroom. I blink as I look at it. It's like a miniature version of our bedroom.

"I thought this might be easier," Kyoko tells me as I look inside. I notice that one thing is different, an ottoman at the side of the room. I manage to use the furniture to get to the bed but I keep studying the new piece of furniture. Kyoko notices this and kneels down beside it. "These are the things that the therapist gave to me so you can continue the practice at home." She blinks back tears, "I'm really proud of you, Corn."

I look at her and then turn to look around the room. She's really tried to provide me a lot of comfort. The lamp looks like there are more settings because sometimes even a dim light can be too bright. There's a buzzer right next to me, I guess this is what she thinks might work better than a bell. My eyes catch onto a radio and a TV that's mounted on the wall so I can watch it from the bed, there's also a setup to just listen to music. She's done everything she can think of to make me more comfortable.

"Th—Thankkk-" I start but my hand presses against the remote and it turns the TV on. I reach back to turn it off, it's playing the theme song for that terrible children's program, Cowyuu or something. As I listen to it, my brain starts to click and my vision starts to blur before I see a strange series of colors and then black. I feel my body hit the ground….I don't feel so good.

I awake feeling incredibly drained and dehydrated and look up drowsily. Kyoko has her hand on my side and appears absolutely terrified whilst Dad is standing using the phone at the doorway of the room. The TV is turned off but I don't remember what happened. I was fine one moment and now I'm on the floor and Kyoko's face is wet with tears and her breathing hasn't calmed down yet.

"C-C-Corn," she whispers shakily as she touches my cheek. She sees me respond to her and then wraps her arms around me. "Oh my god, Corn," she says as she tries to hug me but not too hard. "Are you okay, sweetheart?" she sobs onto my shoulder. What the hell just happened? "Don't get up. The medics are on their way. I'm so sorry," she apologizes acting as if she's going to lose me.

Medics? Apologies? What the hell just happened?

…

…..

He's just standing there. Did he mean to turn the TV on? I look at it, a kid's show. He's just standing very still but he places a hand on his forehead. I turn the television off. He looks like he's going to be sick. "Kuon," I ask as I reach out to take hold of his wrist. What's wrong? Is there something about the room he doesn't like or is it worse, is it medi-he slumps down onto the floor without saying anything and starts jerking as Father rushes in.

I've heard about seizures before, when I was a small girl there was a guest who had one and so Shotaro's mother wanted us all to know at least the signs to look for. When I started studying the impact that traumatic brain injuries could have on a person, I was commonly coming upon the possibility of seizures but I didn't think I'd actually see it. I try to remain calm as I see him jerk. I have to get him onto his side.

"Sweetheart," I whisper as I feel tears in my eyes. I am very gentle when guiding his body but I know also that I have to be quick and efficient. What did the books say about this? Make sure that he won't hurt himself in the surrounding area. It seems clear enough but if I could make sure he doesn't hit the wall. Father hands me his leather jacket that he was wearing and I see the urgency in his eyes as he takes out his phone.

"Under his head," he tells me and I manage to put it back there so it's safely tucked under. I can hear Father trying to get through to the paramedics and emergency services. I loosen his jacket, he's wearing a casual but designer tee so that's not constricting the airways. I feel more tears rolls down my cheeks. I just have to wait it out and hope for the best.

"I'm here, Kuon," I whisper. "I'm here."

Only a few moments later, he seems to regain consciousness, he looks exhausted and confused but he's responsive. It's terrifying having been witness to that. I don't ever want to see him convulsing like that again but it's better if I _do_ see it then it happen when he's alone. I just wanted him to be healthy.

**End of Chapter Ten**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thank you to Kaname671 for reviewing Chapter Nine


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: **I was going to have a flashback of when Kyoko sees Ren dying his hair blond but I got really taken over by my passion for the ending and am really not feeling well either. I've been having these really weird headaches recently where I feel light headed as well.

Anyway I love writing this fic so it's something happy for me whilst I deal with a lot of stress

**Chapter Eleven**

I don't know whether to be angry at myself or at the world but I hate this. I hate that I did this to him. Someone who was always so strong both inside and out and wasn't afraid to share that strength. He always protected us and took care of us and I hate that I am holding anti-seizure medication in my hands. Fortunately they just did a checkup at home and we just need to monitor his exposure to technology and any kind of sensory overload. I bow my head as I see him trying to sleep and put the medication down on the counter.

"_Come on, if you need help then I'll always give you as much as you want."_

"_If you're scared then just come close, I'll protect you. I would never let anything happen to you." _

"_That's just what a knight does for his princess."_

His words mix with my memories of him with that beaming smile, that happiness that no one else shows in quite the same way. Even when he was Ren Tsuruga he was always like a shining ray of light, the sun in human form, something bright and fairylike that I gravitated to. When I first saw him with his blond hair whilst knowing he was still him and not Corn the fairy prince I almost melted. He was always so strong for us. I hear myself sobbing and turn to him as I see where his hair is growing back over the scar from the operation, I let my fingers touch the air over the scar.

He senses me and blinks up at me and I see that his emerald eyes are growing wider because of his shock at how depressed and ugly I must look. These tears make me look so ugly. I've always been such a child when I cry and now I'm showing him my weakness and he's going to get the wrong idea. I try to grab a handkerchief to wipe away the tears before he tells me the one thing I don't want him to say.

"I'm sorry," he says slowly as he looks at me and I see the guilt in his expression, how much he's blaming himself.

Those were the words that I didn't want to hear.

…

…

_I can't breathe. Ten minutes and Father isn't here. I need to be at the hospital right now, I need to figure out what's happening. He could be dying and I wouldn't know. I should be with him. I feel like I'm in shock and I'm just attempting to ignore that Shotaro is there. The girls are watching me and I want to be with them, that's what Kuon would want from me. Still, I don't know whether he's alive or not. I need to be with him. I see a policeman appear me and he takes a look at my damn ankle. _

"_Ma'am," he says, "You're Ms. Hizuri, correct?" he asks and I stare at him with a sharp look._

"_Mrs." I correct. I look down, he won't tell me that Kuon's dead. I look up at him and then turn to the girls bringing them close to me. "Please don't say what you're going to in front of our daughters. Please let me explain it."_

"_Explain what, Mama?" Rose asks but I shake my head. I don't want anyone even thinking that he's dead. Kuon's strong, he can recover. Even with all of this blood that he's lost, he can recover. I see Kuu-sama running over to me and I gesture to the girls that they should go with their grandfather. I don't even have a father and my mother has told me that she never wants to see the girls. They only have one set of grandparents and that's part of Kuon's beautiful life._

_I can't do this without him. I'm weak and I hate being weak. I've always been so confident._

"_I need to take your statement," the officer says and I look ahead of me. I don't know what to say. All I can see is how he had already lost consciousness, that his body seemed broken, limp, lifeless. His hair had blood in it, his body had been torn up, shards of glass had scratched his face. I know that he's smart, he calculated the risks of what could happen and I know that he believed he was giving his life for me to be safe. Shotaro wouldn't even pull me back despite the danger not being at the same level. _

_That's what happens when you find a man who truly loves you and loves you unconditionally, he risks his own life for you, he would give his own life so that you can continue to live your own. That's what this blood means. I am covered in his blood instead of it being where it needs to be, in his body. _

"_Do you think that he'll recover?" I hear one police officer ask as they observe the scene of the accident, the second officer shakes her head._

"_No. Situation like this, usually the victim is dead on impact. Still, Kuon Hizuri, dying for his wife, tragic but beautiful. He was always one of my favorite actors." I shiver. I don't want a tragic but beautiful relationship, I want a fairytale romance one. Other people wouldn't have saved me. The man I chose did and I know he would continue to choose to do so. That's why he's not here. I fell in love with a man who I didn't deserve. _

…

…..

Kyoko has cried all night. Unfortunately I haven't been awake all night able to help her, after I had the seizure, I felt like all my brain wanted to do was sleep. I know that she's so exhausted because of me. I know that she's had all this hardship because of me. I should have died. Things would be so much easier on all of them if they weren't burdened by me. I thought that when I saved her, I would be dead and she would be alive and it would be easier. I know that the doctors, the ones who are skilled at their jobs, keep telling me the same thing but it doesn't seem to be true. This is all temporary?

I look at the girls who are at the other side of the room, they're eating the breakfast that Kyoko made for them, some kind of pastry with fruits and freshly squeezed juice but I don't want to join them. I don't feel like I'm part of this family anymore. I don't even know how to vocalize it, my brain just can't control my language any longer.

Kyoko walks into the room with the last plate of food and then stops. I know she wants me to eat and she's been trying to find recipes which she can make for me but I don't want to be here. I should be dead. I've never not been able to do things without help. I don't want to face my family when I'm like this.

She kisses the girls each on the top of their heads and I hear her whisper, "You two eat. I'll be right back, okay?" she gets up and walks over to me. I don't know what to say to her, I haven't known what to say to her since I saw her crying because I know she's crying because of me. I never wanted to hurt her. She comes over to me and sets the food down on the side table where I'm sitting. "How are you feeling?" she asks as she kneels opposite me. She has that optimistic smile that I've known from when she was sixteen and was trying to help others and do her best. She tilts her head to the side looking at me.

"Corn?" she asks and I turn to look out of the window. I don't know what to say. I don't know what she wants to hear and even if I tried to say anything I'd have difficulty with it anyway. "Corn?" she asks again before sighing and pulls up a chair opposite to me. She looks out the window too and as I spot a bird, she watches it too. "You feel like eating at all this morning?" she asks as she takes my hand and I pull mine away from hers. I hear her choke as she tries not to cry. I'm not rejecting her but she needs to think about what's best for her, for her and the girls.

"I'm ha-happy," she says as she bows her head and I see the tears that are going down her cheeks. She tries to rub them away but I've already seen them. "I'm happy that you get to be at home wi-with us. I'm really gra-gra-grateful that you're alive."

"Sto-pp it," I tell her and she looks up at me shocked. I hate how red her eyes are and the pain she's experiencing. All of this is because of me. She waits for me to continue. "Ju-Just…" I shake my head. She looks at me before she turns to look at where the girls are. I'm sure they are shocked. I've always tried to be the type of dad that I had. I've always tried to be more present though so I can spend longer periods of time with my girls and they wouldn't have to experience the loneliness I did. I just don't have that kind of energy any longer.

"I-I'm going to go check on the girls," she says with the kind of smile that one would have when working at a high class inn. I know this is her business woman smile that she does when she doesn't want to show people how upset she really is. She puts a hand on my shoulder before slowly taking it off when I don't respond. "You can eat however much you'd like or I can get you som-"

"Kyyo—" I start to say and she instantly turns towards me, she tries to hold back a sob of relief and I see how her eyes light up as I speak to her. If she's waiting for some magical cure then she'll be waiting an extremely long time. I reach to the side of me and take out a flyer from a stack of paper about the therapies. She hasn't seen this one since she's been trying to give me my independence. I hand it to her and her body shakes, she looks at it in horror before her saleswoman smile grows tighter and she nods and hums trying to do her best for our children.

…

…

As I clear the dishes away for the girls and have them wash their hands so they can play before Rose goes to school and Julie takes care of Ana for the same time period, I look at the booklet that Kuon passed to me. It's the same assisted care facility that I went to with Father to see Nate. As rude as it is to admit it, Kuon's doing a lot better than Nate was because in some ways he's better than how Nate is a few years following his accident. This means that Kuon will improve as well. I can't pretend to know the circumstances of why Nate is at that care facility but I know that I don't want Kuon to go there, to somewhere where I can only see him during visiting hours.

I feel as if I'm being told that I'm no good again, that I've done something wrong and that someone else important in my life is abandoning me. I know that isn't his intention. I know he thinks he's doing something that will be in my best interests. He's not like my mother or Shotaro but he's still leaving me. My mother disliked me because I reminded her of her worst mistake in life. Shotaro didn't have any more use for me so he treated me like a tool. Kuon isn't like that.

After I see the girls rush out to see Julie and I wave goodbye to them, I slam the door and see Kuon stare at me confused. I'm sorry. I know it's not right to get angry at him but he needs to snap out of this. I grab a soft ball that I've used for playing catch with the girls with and throw it at him. He immediately catches it in his hand and I raise my eyebrow.

"So if something does interest you enough you pay attention to it?" I ask him and he stares at me in a way of asking if I've lost my mind. Well maybe I have. Would that be such a terrible thing. "You want to be worse than Shotaro because I know that's not your intention but you think you can just leave me and the girls!?" I ask him and he watches me as I feel my anger burning through me but I'm not angry at him. I'm angry at the world for treating him this way.

"I know that your brain is messed up right now!" I yell at him, "but is it so messed up to think that we don't want you here with _us!? _Take some time for yourself! Don't rush yourself because this is all temporary and if you leave you're going to regret it. Do something." I tell him before coming over and putting my hands on his shoulders. I bow my head and sob. He probably is asking what the hell I'm doing. "You are Kuon Hizuri. You're the greatest man I've ever known. You are the man I married, the man that the Love Me member number one learned to love and care about and marry and have kids with. Do you know Love Me member number two doesn't have that!?" I ask him as I sob.

"Kuon, you have _never_ given up before," I tell him as I finally look at him and see the guilt in his eyes, the hesitance but I have to say all of this. "You were kicked by life before, I know you were. I saw it when you were Cain Heel, that pain and torture that you were going through but did you quit because things got hard! No. You went and performed an amazing car stunt where you managed to protect the life of a child who ran into the middle of the street. When people were telling you that you'd never live as an actor in this country, you worked like hell and you are one of the most celebrated actors in this country and I damn well know you can get there again. If you didn't give up on that then why are you giving up now."

I blink, I know he's been having trouble with listening if people are talking too quickly. I don't know if that all made sense to him. He looks at me and I wonder if I just confused him. "Did you…hear me?" I ask him and he nods just staring at me.

"I…did…" he says before looking away uncomfortably, "I ca—can't ta-tal -" he frowns and places a hand on his forehead with a flinch.

"You are doing _so much_ _better_ than the nurses thought you would, than even the doctors thought you would," I tell him with a fire in my eyes. "You were hit by a bus and then thrown into the air onto a car and then onto another car. People thought you would die, you didn't die. People told me you might not remember me, you might not be the same but you proved them wrong. People said it might take you years to have full conversations with people but we can communicate to one another just fine. So tell me why the hell I should just let you give up on yourself?"

"It…" he says nervously, "t-ttakes…a ll-long ti-tiime to…sp-sp-speakk."

"Well you know what," I tell him passionately. "You married a woman who will wait as long as it takes to hear every precious word her husband says, who thinks that hearing even his voice is beautiful, who waits with longing anticipation for him to say tha-"

"I…llove you," Kuon says as he pulls me close to him and I hug him, burying my face into his chest.

"I love you too," I whisper. "And I am _never_ letting you go."

**End of Chapter Eleven**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Ten

H-Nala, Kaname671


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve**

"_Ren, you have to take out your contacts first, okay?" she asks Kuon and I see him turn to me before nodding and as his eyes change from the brown of Ren Tsuruga to the emerald of Corn, my breath catches in my throat. He's shown it to me before of course but I always get excited when I see his natural look. He's so beautiful. I remember when I thought to myself that it would be embarrassing to think things like Tsuruga-san looks awfully good with green eyes and blond hair but I prefer him looking this way. _

_He turns to me and makes eye contact with me and I feel my excitement showing in my expression. He laughs softly and I bounce eagerly. His eyes are so amazing and when they look at me there's so much love in them. He's definitely going to be able to KO me when he's in his natural state. I see him give those puppy dog eyes and he's just far too adorable. "You're killing me," I tell him and he laughs._

"_Sorry, sorry," he apologizes before Miss Woods puts the dye on his hair and I see the blond look of the dye, I am so excited to see his blond hair. It will be the first time since Guam that I have seen that appearance. _

"_Too cute," I tell him as I feel like my face can't get any redder and he laughs. He takes my hand and squeezes it, beaming at me. He looks like the sun in human form. I don't know if I'll be able to breathe when his hair is its natural color. "I can't take it. You're just too cute."_

"_I'm sorry," he tells me and I smile as I bow my head. If I look at him I'm going to faint._

"_I'm excited," I tell him feeling like a child. I can't help it. He's going to transform into Corn in front of me. It's…I'm so lucky to be with him._

…

…

At least today seems a little better than yesterday. We've just eaten breakfast and Kuon actually sat and ate with us. He didn't really speak but at least he sat and ate, it's an improvement and I'm happy for any kind of improvement. I look at him and there's a box on the table opened at a random page. Maybe a picture or maybe I'm just being judgmental thinking that he has trouble reading like Nate does.

He's looking out the window and I see him with a spare box of Ana's crayons. He's also staring out the window and has a piece of paper. I watch him quietly. He's not paying attention to me and I move over to him, peering behind him at what he's working on. I tilt my head with a smile appearing on my face. Maybe he's drawing at the same level as a young kid between the ages of Ana and Rose but he's trying his best.

"I like that," I tell him as I kiss his cheek and he puts it under the book. "Can I see it?"

"It's n-nn-ott…gg-oo-dd" he gets out slowly, he's still struggling with his speech and I know it gives him a headache but as long as I have patience with him he gets out what he wants to say eventually.

I hum and wrap my arms around him from behind, letting my head rest on his shoulder. "I liked what I saw," I tell him as I kiss his shoulder and nuzzle into his neck. I'm glad that he's actually trying to find a hobby to do and I know how much he loves birds and animals. It's one of the things that our family knows most about him and the media doesn't pay attention to. Maybe getting a family pet would be a good idea, something he could pay attention to and feel comforted by.

Kuon slowly pulls it back from under the book and hands it to me. It's done to the best of his abilities right now and I'm so proud of him. He looks down nervously but I wouldn't make fun of him for this. At least he's motivated to do something.

"I love it," I grin and he looks up at me confused, "Can I keep it?" I ask him and he stares at me again before nodding slowly. I lean forwards and kiss him. As I look at the book I notice that it doesn't have pictures. I blink. Is he just comforted by the shape of the letters? No. I'm being judgmental again. "Corn," I ask slowly but as I'm about to ask him about the book, he pulls out some paper for me that looks like it was printed. Am I cruel to be surprised that he looked up information and used the printer? I feel so unkind to think that he can't do these things.

"H-He—re" he says and I take it with a smile that quickly disappears.

_Is it every right to perform adultery_

I stare at him before looking over to this part that has a heavy underline on it.

_When a husband or wife is unable to pleasure their spouse in romantic or sexual manners, it might be a decision for the couple to make to introduce a third party into the relationship. This can sometimes be because of health reasons like a traumatic brain injury. _

Okay. So first of all, he is able to read but he's having difficulty listening to words and definitely in speaking them but he is still intelligent, he _can _read information. I feel like I should be praising him for that but I'm just caught off guard by what he's handed me. Because one spouse has been injured and might have a disability, the other spouse should just jump into bed with a random person.

I crumple it up and throw it away, I look at him feeling a little hurt but I know how guilty he feels about this. "I don't want to do it now," I tell him, "because you had your first seizure the day before yesterday but remind me to slap some sense into you when you're feeling better."

I look at him and then walk over, my body shaking but I'm holding back my disgust at that thought. "I never thought I'd meet anyone who I love the way that I love you," I tell him with my hands on the table. "I thought I would live a pure life without a relationship with a man. I'm not some whore who would take another man just because the only man I could ever want is sick and going through recovery. If you don't feel able to have sexual relations with me right now, fine. I would rather practice abstinence than be held by anyone other than you. Do you hear me?" I ask him and he nods slowly. "So promise me you'll never ask me for that again," I point to the trashcan.

"Yyo-you mi-migh—fe-fee—lon-lone-ly" he attempts to tell me and I frown.

"Never. Do I seem like the type of woman who would easily fall into the arms of another man even if it is only for my own pleasures to be met. I love you. That's what is most important to me. You telling me you love me is important to me. You holding my hand, your touch, your embraces, all of that gives me more pleasure than you can imagine. So you're not king of the night right now. I don't care. I would rather be with my fairy prince, my sempai, than fool around in a way which would hurt both of us. My body is off limits to anyone but you, Kuon. Do you understand me?" I ask. If he had said this whilst he was healthy, I would have smacked him for even having this idea.

Does he not realize how deep my love for him is?

….

….

_I smile down at my phone as I have a picture of Kyoko and myself there. She asked me to keep it private because she'd be embarrassed if I started showing it off. It's a picture of her and me, her boyfriend, but because of my status she doesn't want it to be public and I understand. I don't want being with me to influence her career. I don't want to lose her and I'm not even thinking of breaking up with her but want to stay with her for a long time but I do have a certain reputation in this country._

_The holiday thank you party is coming up but this time it's actually being celebrated by both of them as a joint birthday and Christmas celebration. I have told Kyoko that I will be there for as much of it as I can but she told me that it's okay for me to miss some. Well, maybe it's okay for her but I have to get there by her birthday no matter what._

_As I sit down in the restaurant where we first ate hamburger and egg, I hear people gossiping about me and try to ignore it. I take a long breath in before seeing Kyoko enter through the front of the restaurant. She's supposedly asking a senior member of the agency for advice on a role. That's the excuse we're going with this time. _

_As Kyoko spots me she starts to come over but I see someone familiar approach her. "Hey," Kijima says and I'm beyond surprised that he's at a place like this. "Kyoko, I heard you talking on the phone about coming here. I was hoping that we could eat together."_

_I pause, feeling a bit protective but I've promised her that we won't take our relationship public until next year when she's eighteen. "Yes, I'm meeting someone here," she says with a cute bow. Right now she's dyed her hair light brown with some blond highlights and though I prefer her natural look, she is adorable no matter how she looks. "It's good to see you again."_

"_Well, how about you sit with me. I've wanted to ask you out on a date for a while now," I hear people now gossiping about the two of them and frown. Kyoko looks in my direction and pales. She shakes her head quickly whilst facing Kijima._

"_I'm sorry, I'm already going out with someone," she tells him whilst blushing and turning red. "I told them I'd meet them here." She turns to look in my direction just for a brief moment and Kijima sees me. I nod to him and smile, my eyes challenging him to make a further move._

"_Oh, really, well that's great for you two," he says. "I'll let you go sit with him," he says and Kyoko bows again out of politeness and comes to sit opposite me just as our food is placed on the table. Kyoko smiles at me and I hold her hand, squeezing it and letting my thumb run circles on the back of it. _

"_I'm sorry I'm dressed in my school uniform," she apologizes._

"_You could wear anything and still look perfect," I tell her and her face goes to a deeper shade of red._

…

…

I know I shouldn't have suggested it to her, she has always been loyal to me and it was a stupid idea but I really thought that it would be what was best for her. I now can think how stupid it is. She told me that she was going to work on a project but that if I needed her to press this loud buzzer that can be heard anywhere in the house. I manage to pull myself up and grab hold of the ball she's installed around the house. I reach out for the walker that Dad got me. I hate it. I'm not some old man but this is supposed to make it so I don't have to be in a wheelchair.

As I make my way to Kyoko's home office and workroom, I knock on the door. She jumps and looks at me. She obviously is surprised that I came all the way to her. My body is still stiff and though I _can_ walk, my balance is still off. "H-H-Hhii," I struggle again and she stands up, moving over to me and instinctively checks for a fever.

"Is everything okay?" she asks nervously as she takes a step back to examine me. I gesture towards a notebook and pen that she has out. She looks at me carefully and brings me over the items I'm requesting. My motor skills aren't as good as they were before and my handwriting looks like a first grade kid's.

_I'm sorry aboot earlyer _I write. I'm sure that something is spelled wrong here but I hand it to her. She sighs and nods. She doesn't say anything judgmental about the spelling or my handwriting but looks at me with a weak smile.

"Don't worry about it, okay?" she says as she blinks back tears. I didn't mean to hurt her so badly. "Just know that I am yours. My heart and body belong to us, to you and me," she says and I nod. "I don't think I could be with anyone else even if you had passed," she cups my cheek and then leans up to kiss my lips. "I can't even express how thankful I am that you're alive."

"My sp—sp-eech," I struggle and she shakes her head telling me not to worry.

"Your speech is fine," she looks at me happily. I hear the doorbell and she sighs before pulling out a chair. "I'll go get it but I'll be right back. Sit down here and wait for me?" she asks and I nod. I take a deep breath. She hasn't said anything about my seizures, my struggling to walk properly, how my handwriting is childlike. She just seems so optimistic about the tiny progress I've made.

As I sit down feeling a little shame about how I am these days, I hear her voice in an angry tone and I can even feel the dark anger that's radiating off of her. "Get the hell away from this house!" she yells and I flinch. Who could it be? "You're not welcome here."

**End of Chapter Twelve**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

**TP U K RAED TH, EU KWRAPL KURPNT/HRAE STRUG/HREUPB W PHEU STEPB/OE**


	13. Chapter 13

**AN: **Next chapter will have some flashbacks connecting to this part

**Chapter Thirteen**

What the hell does he think that he's doing? He's not welcome here. Here is the last place that he should be but he doesn't understand that. He hasn't listened to others since he was a child. He's always felt that he deserves certain privileges that other people don't get. I am not going to let him stand here whilst I have Kuon waiting for me. I would rather not even focus on anything but Kuon but I know that ignoring my work would hurt him. Before that idiot can say another word, I step out of the house and close the door hoping that Kuon won't hear this conversation.

I look up at him and glare, "What the hell do you want?" I bite back, wanting to somehow destroy him. I want him to be feeling the same pain that our whole family has. He's responsible for it after all.

"You haven't been active on social media lately," Shotaro says and I look at him. What the hell is he talking about? No. I haven't been posting on my online pages. My husband was hit by a bus and had brain surgery, he was in a coma for a long time and now has to recover. I have to learn about how to help someone who suffers from seizures, who has difficulty speaking and moving without help, who has depression. Of course, I'm not watching how many people like my comments and photos or how many people tag me in posts. That's never been as important as Kuon to me.

"I mean," Shotaro shrugs, "You used to post those things about your costumes that weren't _too _boring, yeah, all those family pictures were annoying but you cared more about your work. Now you just seem some plain and boring housewife. At least you look like you put in a little effort."

I stare at him. I wish that I had my hair slightly greasy and tied back, no makeup on my face, dirty rags instead of these designer clothes Kuon got for me. I want to punch him in the face. I am looking this way because it helps Kuon feel better. I wish it didn't make _him_ feel better. "Did you come here because you're interested in me or was it to mess with Kuon?" I ask him and he shrugs.

"Does it matter? If I said the first part would that matter?" he asks and I can't believe he's this delusional. I love my husband. It's much more than him being healthy and active and able, he's trying his best and nothing is going to take me away from him or him away from me. Can't he see that he's at fault here? It might have been an accident but if he had pulled me back and helped me then Kuon wouldn't have done so in his place.

"Absolutely not," I whisper coldly. "You're not wanted here. Never come near to me or Kuon again. I will get a legal restraining order if that is what is needed. After hearing about the incident, Kuon will be able to secure one easily," I tell him. I hate him. I hear the door open and feel my energy fade a little. I see Shotaro have a superior look in his expression and Kuon is holding onto the bar looking at us. "Corn," I whisper as I turn back to look at him. "Corn, I thought you were going to wait fo-"

"Wow, Kyoko," the idiot says with a laugh. "You can't even trust him to answer the front door without embarrassing you. Some rare amount of trust you have in him. I mean, he is disabled."

"Shut the hell up," I say as I put my hand on Kuon's shoulder and see the pain on his face. "Kuon," I look at him and see him glaring at Sho who thinks it's funny that he's not saying anything. "You know this is just this jerk speaking, his words don't matter. You're much stronger than him."

I feel something strike my back and try to steady myself. It's then that I see Shotaro taking hold of Kuon's shoulders and as Kuon tries to pull back, Shotaro knees him in the balls and then as he falls down onto the ground, starts to kick him. That idiot! I grab his arm and yank him back, using my anger and hate to restrain him.

"You dare to come to my home where my very injured husband is attempting to recover from an accident that you are to blame for. You don't even appear but you attack him. You attack a man who is _disabled_ and didn't show you any physical threat at all." I try to feel Kuon's forehead before I see him start to shake. I turn him to his side with his head resting on my knees as Shotaro just stands there. As I hear him laughing, I feel my anger rage out of me.

"Are you that type of a monster that you will actually make fun of someone having a seizure!" I glare at him. Shotaro shrugs and enters the house and I don't know if I could feel any angrier about this. Kuon is starting to regain consciousness and I brush his hair back as I know he feels guilty that that happened. However as Sho holds onto the picture that Kuon drew for me and laughs at it, my demons swarm all around me.

"Get the hell out of this house before I murder you" I tell him. I help Kuon keep his back to the wall. "Let me know if you need me," I whisper to him in a way that only he can hear. I walk over to Sho, my body burning as I rip the picture away from him. "Get the hell out of here!" I say as I dig in my nails and physically throw him from the house. I make sure that the picture is okay. Nobody knows how amazing I find it and how important it is to me that Kuon gave this to me.

I feel a need to calm down and kneel down opposite Kuon. I place a hand on his forehead and then his cheek. I don't know how to apologize to him. I know he's hurt but I just hope he'll listen to me. I lean closer to him and kiss his lips before smiling to him. "I love you," I tell him and he nods. Is that really enough for him?

….

….

I guess that jerk is always going to be intruding on our lives but I didn't know he hated me enough to literally kick me when I'm down. I somehow expected more from him. That was my fault for trying to put more trust in character. I see Kyoko working on something in her design office and approach the room. There's an emerald winter coat in the works and I smile. I know she only uses that color when she's designing for me.

"L-Lo-ok-ss..gg-oo-odd" I struggle as I stand there. The therapists have all said that they wouldn't have thought that I would make this kind of progress in a dream scenario but I just keep seeing all the faults. Kyoko turns to me with a smile. "I l-li-likk" I struggle. I feel that I need to take a deep breath before I can speak more.

"Really?" Kyoko grins excitedly. "I thought that I would make you something a little more padded. It's for you, sorry to ruin the surprise," she says and I shake my head. I slowly make my way over to her and sit down.

After catching my breath I put a hand on the fabric, "Y-Y-You o-o-only u-usse em-m-mm" my head hurts and I freeze, the headache is burning and I feel as if I've used all my strength already. Kyoko watches me but I won't be able to finish this sentence. I cough a little, feeling tired.

"You _are_ an emerald," Kyoko says and I nod. She shows me her silver wedding ring where there are emeralds and white gold in the band with small rubies in the shape of roses. "When I look at my ring, I see your eyes," she tells me. I laugh softly and she grins. I look up and see that she's framed the drawing I did earlier. She likes it that much? It definitely looks like a scribble from a toddler.

"I didn't know you were reading," Kyoko says and I pause. It was a surprise to me as well. I'm having a lot of trouble saying words and hearing them if they are said too quickly but reading words I've been able to do as easily as I had before I was hit. It's strange how the brain works. "I mean….they want you to be a little more in control of your seizures before you use the computer for long periods of time but you could write. I've read some of your original pieces, they're really good."

I don't know if she's just trying to encourage me but writing a screenplay might be a lot of fun. I shrug before nodding and she looks at me even more eagerly. I guess she just wants me to continue moving forward. I won't be able to act for a while, probably a long while.

"We'll work towards it then," she says before pulling out a patch which is a darker green and on it is a bird, a very familiar bird to both of us. "What do you think about this? Would it be okay if I added this to your coat?" she asks and I kiss her cheek, letting my head rest on her shoulder and I hum softly.

"Wren," I say with a smile and nod as she gets even more excited. How can I even tell her how lucky I am that she chose me to be her husband. She quickly positions it over a slit for a pocket. She knows that I keep my wallet with pictures of her and the girls next to my heart. She's also adding a golden zipper to the pocket.

"No matter who you are, Kuon, or what kind of condition you're in, you are very very wanted here," she tries to tell me. "You're the father, the girls have always had such a kind and strong and understanding daddy, and you're my husband, my prince. You are wanted."

I hear a knock at the door as well and lift my head to look over at where she's going though I know she just wants to hide in here with me. I get up and can make out her looking out the peephole before she squeals and starts to bounce excitedly. "Kuon!" she calls out to me and I see her waving towards me that it's someone I want to see.

As she opens the door, I laugh weakly. It's been a while since I've seen my best friend.

"I had no doubts about it," Yashiro smiles as he sees the two of us and even with the scars on my face and the way that I am hurting, Yashiro seems to overlook all of that and not comment on it. He looks between the two of us and then nods. "Yes, I had no doubt that you couldn't be killed that easily, Kuon. I also knew that Kyoko wouldn't let you. I came as soon as I could and I have some news," he says and I just want for him to enter the house and get comfortable before I blink. It's strange but this whole time, he's been speaking in English. Yes, Yashiro is very intelligent and he can speak flawless English despite with a slight accent but he's doing it to accommodate me.

"Ne-Ne-News?" I struggle and Yashiro nods to me, he doesn't even make a comment about my stutter or the way I don't quite sound like myself.

"I'm moving to Los Angeles," he tells us and I freeze before smiling. Hopefully it's just good timing and he's not doing it because of me. "I have some business plans and who else do you tell when good things happen to you but your close friends."

Am I selfish to be thrilled that he'll be so close to us again?

**End of Chapter Thirteen**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Twelve

H-Nala, JeremyVD, Kaname671


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: **I was originally planning another Yashiro flashback for this chapter but I think I'll put it in the next one instead. The news story will also play out next chapter.

**Chapter Fourteen**

My body feels stiff and my head feels tired. I'm completely drained. I don't want to admit it but having the seizure earlier and now listening to Yashiro whilst I feel so tired is making his language hard for me to understand. I don't want to admit this to Kyoko though. She's been telling me that she is happy I've been making so much progress. Right now I've had a setback and I don't want to trouble her with it. I let myself smile weakly.

Yashiro says something about his business again. It's something like a small agency for start up actors. He wants to see if I can help him with it. I don't know but I nod. I'd help him with anything.

"Are you feeling okay, sweetheart?" Kyoko asks very slowly as she tries to make eye contact with me. "Sorry," she turns to Yashiro. "His brain might…"

I don't even listen to the rest of that, "Ff-ine," I struggle to tell her. "I'm fff-ine"

"I understand," Yashiro moves forwards and looks at me cautiously. I know that they are worried about me pushing myself too much. I hate that people don't give me credit for being an independent person. I have _always_ been able to take care of myself. Kyoko kisses my cheek. "Would it be better for me to go?" Yashiro asks slowly. He's trying to be respectful.

"No.." I struggle, "Ffine"

Kyoko looks to me and rubs my hand. She turns to Yashiro with a sympathetic look and Yashiro moves awkwardly. Kyoko bows her head. "Shotaro was here earlier," she says and Yashiro hums. We've asked him to not use this information against Fuwa, not that we should be protecting Fuwa.

"I'm sorry," Yashiro says and Kyoko shakes her head.

"He knocked Kuon down and started kicking him," Kyoko says and I struggle to keep up with her. I feel that my head is breaking again and that my brain is stuck. "When Kuon had a seizure he laughed."

Yashiro looks to us in shock and leans in my direction. I know he's worried that I'm okay. I don't know how to respond to him. It was a shock to me too that he would come here but he's obsessed with Kyoko. He thinks that because I am having problems at this point that he owns Kyoko and can take control over her. I shouldn't worry about this. There's a lot more that's worth worrying about.

"I can't wait to see the girls," Yashiro tells us as he changes the subject. I smile as I hear that. The girls have been amazing. I'm not the father that they've known and relied on but they can still see my want to be that father. I love them. I wouldn't be going through all of this if I didn't love my family.

…

….

_As I observe Kuon, there are a lot of questions. Kyoko told me that the doctors had to do a lot of work for him and that somehow he survived but his brain was bleeding so badly that they had to go in for emergency surgery as soon as he entered the hospital. Kyoko told me that the doctors tried to do everything they could to preserve as much of the brain as possible. _

_That thought is scary to me. As much of the brain? Humans generally tend to need their brain to function properly and I'm not sure what 'as much as possible' means. I look at him. I can understand why regular people don't think that he will make it but Kuon is…scary. He's always mastered anything he's put his hand to. I think it would seem insensitive to think that he wouldn't be able to wake up._

"_I'm trying to take as best care of him as I can," Kyoko admits and I nod. I know she is. There's not much that you can do when a person is in a coma._

"_I believe in him," I tell her and Kyoko smiles gratefully for the support. "I mean, think of all the things that he's achieved. I am sure that he's fighting in order to make it back to you and the girls."_

"_Yashiro," she says nervously and kisses Kuon's cheek again. He doesn't respond to this. I don't know why I was hoping that he would. "Kuon is, when someone has been in a serious accident like Kuon…" she says nervously and I listen to her. I have my suspicions on what she is going to say. "When their brain is…"_

"_He might not be the same Kuon," I finish for her and she nods, sniffing away some tears. _

"_As his best friend, if you rejected him because he had mental difficulties then that kind of a bl—" I raise my hand. I'm not going to say anything unkind because of the way that she's judging me. I know that she's just trying to be concerned and protective. If she was in a less emotional state then maybe I'd have a right to feel offended._

"_Kuon Hizuri __is__ my best friend," I tell her. "We've known each other for years. I am not going to suddenly stop being his friend because he has some challenges mentally. I don't care how sick he is. I want to be there. Don't treat me like the type of guy who would judge him like that."_

_Kyoko nods before bowing her head. "Thank you," she tells me. I watch her. Have there been people or moments when he hasn't been accepted? He did this to save his wife. That's an act that should be admired._

….

….

I smile to Yashiro. He appears happy and more than that, having him here is definitely making Kuon a little happier. He's not judging. He understands how difficult it must be for Kuon so he's speaking in a slower form of English to accommodate him. Once again, I am really thankful for Yashiro. I hear my phone buzz and pull it out. I blink. Kuu's sent me a link to a video? I open up the message and see that it says there is video footage released of the accident.

I freeze before starting to stand up, both men look at me in concern. "Keep talking," I assure them. "I just need to sort this out." I squeeze Kuon's shoulder and walk away. I hear Yashiro smiling.

"See, she doesn't think that anything bad is going on. You really need to stop being so critical of yourself, Kuon. You're a really great guy." I look back at them and nod. It's okay to walk away to look at this and I don't want Kuon to see it until I know what it is.

I grab the tablet and turn down the volume a little before opening the link. I blink as it loads and I can see that it's from an aerial view, the traffic lights maybe? Do those _have_ cameras in them? I can see myself and Rose starting to cross the road as Ana and Kuon are on the other side. He has her in his arms and she's snuggling next to him but as I start to cross the road, I see Shotaro restraining my arm. I keep watching as the camera zooms in a little. Was this actually being _observed_ by somebody at the time?

I notice the crack where I got my heel stuck and cringe but my eyes widen. Somehow I managed to side step it. I must have realized it was there at some point. However, as Shotaro yanks on my arm, my foot slips and that's how my heel became stuck. I can see myself attempting to free it and Shotaro is just staring at me. From the upper left I see the bus – most likely breaking speed limit – turn from the corner behind me. Shotaro puts his hands up and starts backing away as if none of this concerns him. He turns and sees the bus and starts moving _away_ from me faster.

I see the camera view go even closer to me and I'm struggling to move. I see the bus draw nearer and nearer, not slowing down and then I see it. Kuon shoves me over so that I'm on the ground and he's bent his body a little acting as if he's a shield so that I don't get run over. I then see the bus strike him and stop.

Instead of him crumpling onto the floor on top of me, he is thrown backwards where another car is attempting to beat the lights. His body flips and his head strikes the window, shattering the glass and I can tell he's unconscious. This time his body is thrown towards the traffic and he falls head first to the dashboard of the stopped vehicle and rolls forwards until his body is limp on the ground with blood surrounding him.

I freeze and play back the video to the point where he is sheltering me. If he had been standing instead of crouching at an angle, would he be thrown like that. I look at him carefully. He's attempting to use his hands to block me like he's done in the past but his arms are at a point where he's not protecting _his_ body, he's doing everything to protect me. Shotaro has run off at this point when he caused me to stumble. He could have helped in some way but he just put his hands up as if he had nothing to do with the problem and ran away.

I haven't seen anything like this before, this type of freak accident but every move Kuon made at the beginning was so, apart from the injury to my ankle, I wouldn't get hurt. I feel the tears in my eyes as I think about some of the things that he asked me. Putting him in an assisted living community? Committing adultery with his permission? He's offering me these options when everything he did in that moment was to protect me and save _my_ life.

I see that there are various news segments on this, I'll watch those later. Right now I want to see that Kuon is okay. It's almost impossible that he lived through that and came out without deeper injuries. I go and stand in the room where Yashiro is talking about how excited he was to see Kuon win that Academy Award. I feel tears in my eyes and both men turn to me.

"Kyo—kko?" Kuon asks slowly and I just stare at him not sure what to say. "Ar—are y-y-yo—" he puts a hand to his forehead and I feel tears in my eyes as I remember _how_ his head got injured. I go over to him and wrap my arms around him.

"Just fine, Corn," I tell him as I nuzzle his neck. All those choices that he made were for my benefit. He knew he wouldn't be able to whisk me away in time despite us knowing that's what he wanted. There were more chances of him dying after that then living and yet he made those choices so that even if he did die, which was the probability, I would be okay. "I love you," I tell him and he reaches for my hand, squeezing it slightly

"Llo-vve y-y-y-yo-u t-t-tt-o" he tells me and I can't believe that we're this lucky that all he has to deal with is his speech and how he hears and listens to words. He _could_ have ended up in a vegetative state very easily and yet he is still showing independence. I don't even have words to express my gratitude.

**End of Chapter Fourteen**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Thirteen

H-Nala, Kaname671


	15. Chapter 15

**AN1: **I totally lied last chapter by saying I'd continue them here but I needed to write this one after reading the manga chapter. Hope it's okay that I write more about it in Chapter Sixteen instead.

**AN2: **Just going to say this about the latest manga chapter. It's not something I appreciate now as a single standalone chapter. I will appreciate it much more when future chapters are released. Also, Ren is awesome.

**Chapter Fifteen**

"_Mom," I ask as I hold Rose in my arms. She's still so tiny and small but the weather has been cold recently. There is a harshness in the air as well and Rose's lungs are still so tiny. "Are you sure that I'm doing this right?" I ask. I wrap the blanket around Rose tighter as I bounce her. "Mom," I tell her nervously and Mom looks to me._

"_I think that what Rose needs is rest, Kuon," she says before I look at Rose and inspect her. Her nose might be a little sore and she's sniffling. I just want to be a good dad. "She's only little but she's got a good immune system."_

"_She's so tiny," I tell her again before sighing. Kyoko has told me that rest is very important when dealing with a cold. I don't know very much about my own body compared to others. My stomach is broken. I don't eat or sleep like a normal person would. I can't make the best decisions for Rose based on how my body operates. "Okay." I sigh and turn back to Rose. "Daddy will check on you soon and Mommy comes back tonight."_

_Mom smiles to me as Rose's tiny hand comes and slaps me in the face, "What?" I ask as Mom follows me to Rose's crib and I put down my tiny princess. "What? Have I done something wrong? If I have, can you tell me. I need to learn these things to -"_

"_You're such a good father," Mom says and I laugh in defeat. If I was such a good father then I would know the answers. I just want to do my best to find out those answers for Rose. I shake my head but take comfort in her tiny yawn as she falls asleep. "Kuon, being a good father isn't always about having the right answers but doing everything in your power to find them out for the sake of your daughter." I don't know if that's right or not but I'm just hoping I can keep Rose healthy at least until Kyoko returns. _

…

…

The light is burning me. I feel like a child saying that but since Kyoko is no longer in the bed with me, I can grab the blankets and cocoon them around me. I feel that my voice is a little hoarse and stuck and my throat feels scratchy. My stomach has an odd bloated feeling and I keep coughing and sneezing. But worse than that, my head seems to be in a weird state of heaviness and pain. I don't want to worry Kyoko over a headache though. It just feels. I feel really ill. It feels as if I'm going through one of my seizures again but in a slowed down fashion.

I hear Kyoko's voice on the phone but I can't make out anything she says. I try to breathe, my lungs feel weak and I sniffle. My eyes have tears in them but I don't remember crying. It just feels too warm, too sticky, too fuzzy.

As I stay under the blankets, I feel something touch my back but I can't make sense of the noises. I feel alone and frozen. The pressure is moved from my back and I hear Ana's voice but I can't make out what she's saying, I can't make out the words Kyoko is saying either. I feel myself left in the room for a little bit and I close my eyes. My head hurts too much.

I feel something else touching me and my eyes blink open slowly just in time to see the light from the window. Kyoko is making a hole and she turns to me, I hear her say something but I can't make out any of the words. She looks at me in shock. Do I have a cold? Is that what she's so worried about?

She gently unwraps the blanket from around me and touches my forehead, her expression turns even more worried at this point and she starts to feel other things, even taking my pulse and looking at her watch to time it. She kisses me again and say something, staring at me but instead of replying I sneeze which worries her more.

She tucks the blanket around me again before kissing my forehead and taking out her phone, going to the doorway of the room.

I cough again and my eyes closed. I feel like trash.

…

…

Ana got sick. Even though we've always kept her up to date on any vaccinations or shots that she might need, she's gotten ill. I shouldn't be surprised. Half of her daycare has gotten sick. I know how to treat sickness apart from…I have my suspicions that she might have gotten Kuon sick as well. Due to the treatments and surgeries, Kuon has more of a risk of picking up any bug or germ that might be going around. What scares me most is that if the virus affects his respiratory system or his immune system, he still has a good chance of fighting it off despite having a harder time than most. It's his neurological functioning that the doctors are worried about. There is a chance that if something were to affect his head or his brain, the infection could kill him.

When I woke up, he was shivering with sweat covering him but his pulse rate and temperature seemed to be okay. I didn't want him to feel that I didn't trust him by involving doctors so early on. However, he's still wrapped up in a cocoon of blankets even now.

I just phoned to say that Ana needed to stay home today but when Ana jumped on Kuon to wake him up he wasn't responsive. I don't know what to do. After I tuck Ana into the bed and kiss her forehead, I get up and turn to go back to our bedroom. I see him still wrapped up in the sheets reminding me of when he was Cain. I just want for him to be okay. I have to at least check on him.

I move forwards and put my hand on his back. Warm. I can feel his warmth through the blankets and his breath seems to be very unsteady. I kneel down where I can see the top of the cocoon, his head is wrapped in that top part, "Sweetheart," I tell him gently as I try to move enough blanket so I can check on him. "I'm just going to make sure that you're okay," I tell him.

My face turns into shock when I look at him. He's pale, so much more pale than he usually is and his eyes are glassy, his face is covered in sweat as I guess the rest of his body is. I shouldn't have left him alone to see if he got better. I should have contacted the doctors immediately. He doesn't look good at all.

I touch his forehead, pushing his hair back. His eyes are out of focus and his body is shaking. As I feel his forehead, I feel my own body turn an ice cold. It's hotter than I believed possible. The doctors told me that if something affects his head then it could have disastrous results. "Corn, I'm just going to make sure that you're okay," I tell him before feeling his cheeks, his throat, his lymph nodes, nothing feels good. "I'm so sorry," I whisper to him but he doesn't seem to be following my words. I bow my head trying to stop the tears as I feel for his pulse, it's slow and soft, "I'm sorry, my love," I whisper unable to keep the fear out of my voice.

Something is wrong. Something has gone very wrong. The doctors always tell you that a loved one might die from infection following an illness. "Corn, you don't understand me right now, do you?" I ask and he blinks a few times as he starts to fall asleep. He isn't following my words. His breathing seems shallow. Why didn't I call for an ambulance right away?

"Please stay strong, my love" I whisper as I kiss his cheeks trying to hide how worried I am for him. Instead of responding to me, he sneezes. I kiss his forehead and tuck the blanket around him securely. I kiss his forehead again and take out my phone, walking over to the doorway. I have to call an ambulance and get him taken to the hospital. He isn't doing well at all.

I see him turning to the side, he coughs harshly but then falls asleep again. I'm really sorry that I didn't call earlier, Corn. As I connect with the emergency services, I feel the tears in my eyes. "Hello," I say quickly, "I need to request an ambulance, it's an emergency."

"Ma'am, you say you have a life-threatening emergency, can you describe the nature of -"

"My husband needs to be seen at a hospital," Kyoko said quickly and the dispatcher replied at the same speed.

"Could you give a description of the circumstances of the emergency?"

Kyoko looked down, "He has a fever, cold sweats, sneezing, coughing, fatigue. I wouldn't worry except for -"

"Ma'am it sounds like your husband has a cold. Tell him to take some antibi-"

"Except for my husband was in a coma following a brain surgery and has only been recently released and his fever is at 109. He also suffers from seizures. It feels like an emer-"

"Are you sure that his fever is that high?" the dispatcher inquired and Kyoko felt her jaw drop. Yes, it was that high but on the same hand _did_ it matter whether it was _that_ high or not?

"I'm scared that by moving him or forcing him to move by myself might aggravate his condition. He _is_ Kuon Hizuri afterall," I hate to play the name card but more than anything I need for them to listen to me. So what if he's a celebrity? He's still a person.

"We'll have an ambulance sent there immediately," the dispatcher told her, "Could you please confirm your address."

I nod and give the details that I can. After the call, I go back to his side and put my hand on his forehead. Still dangerously high. I have to get an ice pack for him or something but I'm afraid of leaving him. I search up on my phone what a fever of his level means and my hand shakes as I stare at the information on the phone.

_More serious fevers in which body temperatures rise to 108F or more can result in convulsions and death._

I turn back to him with my heart pounding heavily. There's a chance that he could die because he got sick?

….

….

_I smile happily as he invites me into his apartment. I have the vegetables to make him a soup for him to eat and some other items that help with colds but I just want to help him. He doesn't like being sick and he never eats enough. It's part of the joys of being a girlfriend to be the person who helps their boyfriend heal. I'm excited since this is something I know a lot about._

_As I ring the doorbell, I wait eagerly and as I look up, Ren is there wearing sunglasses. If I didn't know his reason for doing it, I would be questioning this behavior. He sneezes before covering his mouth with a handkerchief. _

"_Sorry," he tells me as he lets me in. "I didn't want to get you sick. You don't need to do anything special. It's my fault that I cancelled on," he sneezes again and I smile before going to the stovetop with the ingredients. _

"_Are you going to keep the shades on all night?" I ask him with a playful smile knowing that behind those dark lenses are the most gorgeous emerald eyes that I have ever seen. _

"_My eyes felt really dry with my contacts on, I thought that I'd remove them tonight but you never know who might be at the door," he tries to explain and I raise an eyebrow asking if he's going to remove them for my benefit. He smiles and sets them down. His eyes are sore and watery and it's obvious that he's sicker this time than previously but I smile despite the fact he's ill._

_His eyes are always so enchanting even with the rest of him as Tsuruga Ren, a deep gorgeous emerald which change to a burnt sienna when the light shines upon them. _

…

…

I sit outside the hospital room, they want for him to be put in isolation in order to administer the antibiotics and put him on the right medication. They say that his charts are coming back with questions on them, gaps in the information but I don't know what information they need to have. I'd give anything that they ask for.

Yashiro was able to babysit for me since Father and Julie are away on location shoots. Father should be back tomorrow if needed. There was little chance of his being able to come back tonight since he's in Chicago. He even told me that he'd miss work but I don't know what good he could do here.

I don't want to imagine that this will be what our family goes through every time he has a cold. I don't want to lose him but I'll have to make precautions to help him every winter. I'd rather do that then lose him. The doctor comes out to me and I look up, my eyes are sore with tears. It's been hours since Kuon was brought here and aside from him having to be away from visitors, they haven't told me anything. I'm his _wife_, they should at least provide me with information even if I can't sit with him yet.

"He's in a coma," the doctor whispers and I sob painfully. A coma? He's in a coma? Isn't that going backwards?

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Fourteen

H-Nala, Kaname671, kyoko minion


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter Sixteen**

I feel so idiotic that I didn't see what was going on and that I let his sickness get worse. This man has always tried to do everything in his power to give me a happy life. He's the type of guy who would use his athletic skill only to get close to me and now he's back in the hospital and hooked to multiple machines. They don't want me near him because they are worried any outside germ might harm him. I should have responded quickly the moment I knew he wasn't feeling well.

I bow my head. I've been in the hospital for about six hours now. I feel guilty. I could have sworn that I was doing my best to take care of him but I let my attention slip and he got sick. The doctor approaches me with a rather grim look and I blink up at him. I feel a sharp chill through my body. Something doesn't feel right.

"I'm sorry," he tells me and I look up at him, blinking back tears. He's sorry that Kuon's condition got worse? He's sorry that he has to be put on slightly stronger medication? It might not be pleasant for him but it cane help him. "We usually wouldn't do this but with his health at the status that it is, we can give you a chance to sit with him for a moment."

"You wouldn't usually do it?" I ask as I look at him confused. "Because I'm his wife and not biologically related to him."

The doctor sighs. "There is a great probability that Mr. Hizuri will pass tonight," he tells me and I shake my head feeling numb. Would this have happened if he was in an assisted living community? They could have seen the signs. I'm completely useless as a wife especially Corn's wife.

"I don't believe you," I whisper as I wrap my arms around me. "Kuon is really strong, he's the strongest person I've ever met."

"No matter how physically toned a person is, the germs have entered his head and he is still healing there. Did you want to see him?" the doctor asks me and I watch him. What choice do I have? I sniffle and nod as I rub my eyes.

"Yes," I tell him as I feel myself broken. I can't imagine living without him. I can't imagine raising the girls without their father. As I stand and he leads me into the room, passing me a mask and a pair of gloves, I see my love in the bed. I'm alarmed at how he's still shivering and turn to the doctor. 'Can't you turn the temperature up?" I ask, my eyes having a fire behind them.

I go closer to Kuon and see the sweat on his face, I put my hand to his forehead, still quite a high fever. I pull up a chair as I look at him and press my forehead to the mattress. "I'm sorry," I whisper painfully. "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have…" I gently push his hair back and then hug him as much as possible. I just want to see his emerald eyes, hear his voice. I don't want to lose him.

As I sit there, I see his eyes blink open and smile. I wasn't expecting that and it seems the doctor wasn't as well. His eyes are glassy and he appears disoriented but he's turned to my direction. He coughs harshly behind the respiratory device. He very weakly reaches out for my hand and though it kills me to see him in this state, I put both of my hands around his. "Corn, I'm here," I tell him before kissing his forehead. "I am so so sorry my love. Can you try to stay as strong as possible? I need you to fight for me, okay? I don't want to lose you."

He nods but his body is still shaking. I push his hair back lovingly. I hate seeing him like this. He must be in so much pain. "Just fight for me and the girls," I tell him. I tuck the blankets around him. "I love you." I tell him and he puts a hand to my cheek, his eyes are still wet and he's still hooked up to so many devices. His heartbeat is weak and his breathing is shallow.

The doctor coughs and I stare at him in shock. Is he really telling me that time is up? I look at Kuon, he's so weak, he's fighting so badly but it doesn't look like even he is strong enough. "Kuon," I whisper as I watch him. "I know how strong you are. I've known it since you were my ten-year-old fairy prince. I know that you can fight but sweetheart," I hold onto his hand, tears rolling down my cheeks. "If fighting gets to be too hard, if you feel that it's easier to just let go," I bow my head. I want to scream about how I won't forgive him if he leaves me and how he shouldn't be so weak because he'd be no more than a second Shotaro but that isn't what he deserves. I clear my throat unable to look at him.

"Kuon, if the pain is unbearable and you need to let go, I won't blame you. I know that you're giving it your all and I won't hate you if you leave us. I know how hard this is for you and I'm so proud of you and so proud to be your wife and the mother or our children." I wrap my arms around my body hating that I'm saying this but as I look at him it's as if I have no other choice. The doctors are right, he looks on the edge of death already.

"You're the love of my life," I tell him as I start shaking and my voice breaks. "So I'll ask you to keep fighting but if it's too hard, I just want you to be comfortable. I love you. I'll understand if you can't fight any longer so I just need you to know how important you are to me. I love you. I will never ever stop loving you. Thank you, Kuon. Thank you for loving me and giving me the type of life I never expected that I could have."

Kuon squeezes my hand again and I see him weakly mouthing that he loves me too. It's the worst feeling ever to step out of that room knowing that this could very well be the last time I see him alive. I feel completely numb as I walk out of the hospital. I'm not giving up hoping that he'll pull through this. As selfish as it sounds, I'm never going to be able to give up on hoping.

…

…

It was hard to collect the girls from Yashiro to take them home but I can't inconvenience him. I couldn't sleep last night. I feel as if I'm on automatic. I need to pay attention to the girls and take care of them but I can't take care of myself. I feel empty but as the phone rings I grab it. I don't want to imagine what type of news is on the other end of the line. I don't want to hope and then to fall short.

"Hello, Kyoko speaking," I whisper and hear the voice of the doctor.

"I wanted to give you an update on Kuon's condition," they tell me and I try to hold my breath. Just please tell me that he's alive. "We didn't think it's possible but he's in stable condition. He still needs to heal before he is relea-"

I smile, my eyes filling with tears again. "Thank you, sweetheart" I whisper. I turn back to the phone, "When is the earliest that I'll be able to see him?" I ask and the doctor hesitates.

"Visiting hours begin at eight but just to warn you, he's delirious and might not be fully present if you visit him." What does that even mean? No. If he's alive, I have to see him. I want to make sure that he's alive. I hate that I'm relying on Yashiro once again. I just have to see Kuon and take care of him. When he was Ren, he always took care of me and now he needs me to be the strong one.

"I'll be there at eight," I tell them before looking around. I bought Kuon a Christmas present already that I'd thought he'd really love. I'll give it to him now and get him something else. I'm just excited that he's pulled through.

….

….

So this jerk thinks that he can turn the whole of Japan against me. Since that video launched of how the accident happened, everyone has been referring to me as an asshole who couldn't even save a woman by pulling her back an inch and he's someone who ran in front of a bus and very easily could have died. It's not as if I had any control over this. People say that I made it so Kyoko's heel got stuck in the road. I didn't make the damn road so I don't get why my popularity is dropping because of Hizuri.

I feel glad though. I somehow managed to get information that he's in the hospital and one of my superfans even hacked into the computers to tell me which room he's in. I don't want to lose against a mentally disabled person.

It's going to turn eight in a moment so he will have to answer me before he even wakes up. He's doing this for attention. He just wants Kyoko to feel sorry for him. If you ask me, it's completely pathetic. He should be the strong asshole who wants to make the public hate me. As I open the door, I slam my fist into the wall and he blinks awake before looking at me confused.

He's pale and sweaty and disgusting. He's hooked to half a dozen machines but this doesn't mean that he can't fight me. He always was able to show how athletic he was before.

"Fu-wa…" he says breathlessly as he removes the mask. He blinks at me confused and I stare at him bitterly, he thinks that he can pretend to not know why I'm here. If it wasn't for him then people wouldn't be criticizing me on Japanese news shows. They wouldn't be casting me as a villain.

"You didn't expect to see me, did you, you asshole!" I yell and he rubs his forehead as if he can't hear what I'm telling him. "You think you deserve Kyoko!" He stares at me again and shrugs but I walk forwards and shove him against the wall, my hand remains on his shoulder and he doesn't fight back. "You wanted to rui-"

I feel myself pulled backwards with the type of unexplainable force that a demon might have and I see Kyoko with the scariest expression on her face that I have ever seen. Before I can even get my balance, she has thrown me onto the floor. I feel a pain through my jaw with the way she just carelessly tossed me and threw me.

"You bi-" I yell at her but she's not paying attention to me. She's kneeling on the bed right opposite Hizuri and she is feeling his forehead, his neck, his shoulder where I just pushed him.

"Are you okay, sweetheart?" she asks as she rubs his back lovingly. What the hell is going on here!? She should be leaving him instead of studying his body. She kisses his cheek before helping him with the respiratory mask. It's sickening. She's turned into one of those plain and boring woman who only lives to serve her man. All of that individualism that she used to have is now gone. "Are you okay?" she asks again with that boring type of I love this guy and we'll be married forever type of expression. I push myself up and spit out blood. She made me bleed.

"Who cares about him! He's ruined any hope of my returning to show biz! Have you seen that video."

Kyoko looks at me with a bored expression, "The footage of what actually happened?" she asks in a monotone. She stares at me and blinks in an annoyed manner. "That's your own fault. Kuon didn't put that footage out. Kuon just loves me which is sadly something that you've never experienced for anyone other than yourself."

What the hell is she talking about? Hizuri wants to destroy me and my reputation.

"Sweetheart," she whispers again as she smooths his hair back and then kisses his cheek. "Are you sure that you're okay? You're not hurt, right?" What the hell! Who the hell is this that I'm looking at! She isn't paying attention to me but her attention is consumed by him.

"You're some stupid boring and plain woman," I tell her as I stand opposite her with an angry expression. She rolls her eyes.

"Are you sure you want to embarrass yourself even more because I was hoping the restraining order would be simple but I'll make it public," she says with a slight evil in her eyes. What the hell is her problem?"

**End of Chapter Sixteen**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter Seventeen**

It's blurry and doesn't seem real. I feel exhausted and it's as if the world doesn't make sense anymore but I'm wondering if she already knows that. I see Fuwa on the ground and I feel unable to say anything. I've never felt so helpless. I hate feeling helpless. Kyoko is smoothing back my hair but I'm not following a word she's saying. I need help but I don't know how to express that. I need some serious help.

It's like my brain isn't ready to be fully accessed and I've lost connection with it. If I concentrate I'll be able to listen to her. She's looking at me with a great deal of concern and I just stare in front of me. She feels my forehead and frowns but I can't work out what she's saying to me. She steps off the bed and lifts the blankets up so that I can settle down again.

I can't make sense of it. All I get is weird colors and a buzzing in my head, I hear her speak but the words don't come out as words to me. She pushes my hair back and kisses my forehead before grabbing Fuwa by the collar of his shirt and shoves him outside, closing the door quietly behind her.

I hear an argument start but it still doesn't make sense to me. I really need a professional to tell me what's going on. I don't understand what is going on. I close my eyes. Just after the accident, I had trouble talking but I could still make out words if I concentrated hard enough. I'm just becoming a burden to my family.

I close my eyes and feel myself drift off but as the door opens and closes again, I turn towards my wife with a weak smile. I feel like I need care that I don't want to ask for. Kyoko approaches me and kisses my cheek since my face is still covered by the respirator mask. She looks at me before tears appear in her own eyes. She says something and I can't work it out. Finally she speaks even slower than she was doing so so every syllable takes the space of a word, "Co—rn," she says trying to speak slowly and clearly. "Ca-n y-ou he-ar m-e?" I can understand that and nod before feeling a sharp pain in my forehead.

Kyoko immediately reaches for something, the call button for the nurse. She wraps her arms around me before pushing my hair back. "I-t's o-ka-y. Yo-u'll be o-ka-y." I hear the doctor rush into the room and it becomes too hard to keep conscious. I hear Kyoko sniffle but then all I hear is the sound of the heart monitor.

….

….

I know that as I sit with Kuon, he's not fully present but he _is _conscious. He has some awareness of the world and he's not in a coma any longer, the doctors have also said that he's stable. He's not acting as he was before though. It's as if his progress has gone backwards and I don't know if I have the tools to help him. I push his hair back again hoping that it comforts him. It's comforted him in the past.

"Shotaro," I growl with my hate showing in my eyes. "I want you to get the hell out of here."

Kuon is sick. The last thing he needs is this asshole in the same room as him. I can't believe Shotaro pushed him when he's attached to so many machines, when his appearance doesn't betray how ill he must feel. Right now, as much as I hate to admit it, Kuon is incapable of fighting back or even defending himself. You don't come into the hospital room of a person who has almost died in the past twelve hours and shove him when he has no way of defending himself.

Kuon was and I believe he still is physically strong but he can't protect himself when he's going through something that would have killed most other people. "Are you okay?" I ask as I try to comfort him but he stares at me as if he doesn't hear what I'm saying. I take his hand, my head bowed as I rub my thumb in circles across the back of it. "Corn? Are you going to be okay sweetheart?" I ask and he's still staring through me. I kiss his cheek. He probably needs more rest.

"Why do you concern yourself with him?" Shotaro laughs bitterly, "He's the one who turned Japan against me. He's the one who ruined my career. He's just some retarded prick who doesn't give a damn about anyone else and most certainly doesn't give a crap about you," Sho says in Japanese and I feel my demons starting to swarm.

"Retarded prick?" I ask him as the anger radiates through my body. "You do realize that Kuon has more important things that he needs to focus on than getting revenge on some no-name pseudo celebrity. You're not even significant enough to think about." I tell him bitterly. "Kuon and I are trying to handle his health issues, we're trying to take care of our daughters, we're trying to live a good and happy life despite him covering for something that _you_ could have easily done. The footage came out because of how big of a celebrity _he_ is. He didn't choose for it to be shown. You're tasting your own karma, it's what you deserve but don't think for a moment that Kuon has time to think about actively destroying you."

I take a look back at Kuon, he's not following any of this and I can see the confusion in his expression. He has more that he has to take care of than letting this asshole attack him both physically and verbally. I go over to him, push his beautiful and soft hair back and kiss his cheek. "I'll be right back," I tell him before grabbing Shotaro by the collar of his shirt dragging him out of Kuon's room.

After I close the door, I shove Shotaro back until his back is against the wall and I spread my hand out over his throat, my whole body is shaking with how much I want to kill him. "How dare you!" I yell at him. "This is a _hospital_, we are in a hospital. Kuon doesn't have the time nor the energy to destroy your career. You did that to yourself so don't you _dare_ blame him. He hasn't done anything to you. He hasn't approached you or talked about you or even given a damn about you since the accident, we're more concerned on getting him to feel better and on focusing on our children."

"That's the problem," Shotaro says in a disgusted manner, "You're entirely devoted to him. This is no different from when you were that plain, boring, stupid girl that I brought to Tokyo and spent ever moment thinking about me. I'm trying to save you from that -"

"This is _nothing _like that," I hiss. "Yes, I'm entirely devoted to him and our daughters. Yes, my world revolves around Kuon right now and taking care of Kuon and the girls but that doesn't mean it's anything like what you put me through." I glare again, I want to kill him and it's taking a lot of restraint not to kill him right now. "Kuon proposed to me, married me, we've celebrated anniversaries together and more than that he got hurt because he was trying to save my life. You didn't even make an attempt to help me. So say I'm plain and boring and even stupid but Kuon makes me feel beautiful and that life is worth living and don't worry," I say with a cold laugh, "You'll be hearing from a lawyer and if you _dare_ to come near him again, I will cut off your balls and skin you alive. I'll make Mio Hongo look like an angel compared to what I can do to you."

"Mio Hongo?" he blinks and I stare at him.

"If you have to ask that question then you're not worthy of my time," I tell him before entering the room again. Kuon is watching me but I can tell he's still not fully present. "I'm back," I tell him as I kiss his cheek and he stares at me as if he doesn't know what I just said. I don't know how he's feeling mentally but there's a good chance that it's not registering with him.

I hate to do this but I take a deep breath and say as slowly as I can, "Corn, can you hear me?" I don't want to treat him as if he's stupid, he's not stupid. I don't want to treat him like a child but it's the only thing I can think of. He finally nods but then has a very pained look on his face as he flinches and then cringes. Something went wrong.

I immediately press the call button for the nurse. I don't want him to have another seizure. I hold him, my body drawn like a magnet towards his. "It's okay," I try to comfort him. "You'll be okay." I will murder Shotaro for doing this to Kuon especially if the damage he's done is irreversible. The doctors come in and Kuon loses consciousness again. I sob as I watch this. Kuon has always been so strong and the one to protect me but he's here, weaker than I ever imagined I'd see him.

I understand how hard he's fighting to even stay alive.

…

…

I look over at files that I don't understand, tests and examination results and the X-rays and MRI images. All I know is that these are Kuon's tests. These will tell me about how to best help my husband. I bow my head and take a deep breath in. "How do I help him?" I ask as I lift my head up. That's all I care about. If he gets better then the happy life I built for myself can survive, no, even if my life gets drained, he'll be alive and that's most important.

"It appears to me that Kuon, Mr. Hizuri," the doctor says as he looks at me for verification.

"Kuon," I nod as I squeeze my wrist. He's _my_ Kuon Hizuri just as I always wanted to call him _my_ Ren Tsuruga. He's been at my side for years. He's provided me and our children with so much love. I will never tire of hearing his gorgeous, unique name. "Is he going to survive?"

"He's going to be unable to take care of himself properly," the doctor says and I nod. As upsetting as it sounds, I was expecting that to be the case. "He'll need help with a lot of the things for functioning on a daily basis."

I take a deep breath in and bow my head. I can take time off work despite how he'll dislike it. I don't mind caring for him when he needs it. At least he'll be alive. I look up at the doctor. They don't understand just how hard I'll work to support him. "Tell me what he needs. Can you give me a list or some papers or anything that could help. I want to learn to take care of hi-"

"I think an assisted living community might be for the best. I can give you the details on an exclusive and extremely private one where he'll be able to receive the care that is needed." I stare at him before shaking my head. I don't want for him to be there. I don't want him to be alone and more than anything _I _want him with me. I shiver. Maybe I'm selfish and denying him help he needs.

"No," I argue with tears in my eyes. "I want him at home with me. I'll look after him. I'll get him whatever help he needs just please…" I whisper, "please don't take him away from me."

"Even if it's for the best that he go?" the doctor asks and I bow my head. Is it really selfish of me to keep him?

**End of Chapter Seventeen**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thank you to Kaname671 for reviewing Chapter Sixteen


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter Eighteen**

_I feel guilty. I agreed to go to America but I'm scared and I don't think that that's okay. I have had enough time to adjust and both Father and the president say that they'll help me with whatever they can. I don't know if I'm prepared to do this, what if I fail? I spent so long a time thinking that love was a stupid emotion and wishing that I wouldn't be foolish enough to fall in love and then I did because someone loved me and then I began dating him and we got engaged and…and now my life seems to be spinning out of control. They didn't tell me about this part in the fairytales._

_Still. I fell in love and he has treated me like a princess. We've had arguments but we've worked through them, apologized to each other, listened to one another. I'm just scared that I'm going to be someone's wife in America and I'm not going to have an escape route. I hear someone chuckling behind me and blush. He's still able to do that even as my fiancé, maybe especially as my fiancé. _

"_You do know a celebrity will get hassled if she sits on the dirty ground outside the agency," he teases me and I freeze. He's had his natural hair color for a few weeks now but it catches me off guard each and every time. I smile as I watch him and he raises an eyebrow at the way I'm just staring at him. "Well, I suppose I can't own the I am totally in love with you, expression."_

"_No. You can't," I tell him and hear people whispering. Why am I cursed to go into the background unless I'm with Kuon? One look at Kuon and everyone is talking about us, he gets twice the attention that Ren did. Still, since he grew up in that type of environment it doesn't get to his head. "Besides, nobody noticed me until you came."_

"_I doubt that's true," he says and I look up at him, he's not wearing his contacts and my cheeks warm again. How in heaven's name did I ever manage to find my fairy prince again? It should have been impossible but we've been fated to be together. Still I see people gathering towards us and I grab his hand. I pull my bag to my shoulder and yank him up, he blinks surprised before I turn to him. It's a way we've come up with being a celebrity couple without being harassed._

"_Are you ready to run?" I ask him with a smile and I see the excitement in his emerald – so damn cute – eyes as he meets my challenge. He nods and we run off holding each other's hand whenever we can. We've done this so many times but with all the running away I've done in my life, I'm very glad I've met someone who can run with me. _

…..

…..

The doctor stares at me and I look back at him. I'm not going to let my marriage fade or even dim without a fight. Yes, I will still remain loyal and married to him even if he has to go and be with Nate but I'm going to do whatever I can to keep him with me. I didn't go into marriage thinking it was going to be easy. Yes, I didn't think that sickness would mean this sick but I would never have agreed to it were I just to bow out when it got more difficult than expected.

This isn't even a boyfriend or fiancée or man I've just married though. Kuon and I have been married for eight years, coming up to nine years. For five nights a week on average, I have been going to bed with his head on the pillow next to mine and for six mornings a week, I wake up and look at him before he has to go to work and comment on how gorgeous he is. Maybe other people would say that that was lacking time but when you're one of the A-list actors internationally, he gives me all the time that he can.

More than even that though, more than the fact that we're soulmates, is the fact that he risked his life for mine just as I would risk mine for his because I was right when I was younger, being in love makes you idiotic but I don't care if it's for him.

"Regardless of whether you want to take him home or not, he has to remain in the hospital until his body has reached a status where we feel he is _able_ to leave," the doctor continues and I know this. Kuon got sick and I didn't catch it in time and it's because he's some higher rank of human that he survived. I know that Kuon has super powers even if he denies it. "We don't want to risk him getting sick again."

"I understand," I nod before reaching for the pad of paper and a pen, "May I?" I ask and he nods as I write down on the paper. "What kind of equipment is available to purchase? I know that there are professional masks to ward away infection but there have to be other types of equipment or suppli-"

"I would estimate a home care treatment to cost close to si-" I pause. Does this man not know how much Kuon is worth financially? How much _I'm_ worth financially? We have plenty of money. Money doesn't matter. "Not to mention all the time com-"

"So maybe hire a home nurse or at least someone who can come visit our home," I tell him before writing down on the paper. I know home remedies and I know how to stretch money when needed but I don't care how many useless things he or anyone else pushes me, I'm taking Kuon home and keeping him there. "Does he need a special type of bed?"

The doctor's jaw drops and he looks at me the way that a lot of people have done so my entire life. He's underestimating me. I'm not going to let him stop me from trying. I'm a human Daruma when it comes to giving up, I can wobble but I won't fall down. "You can't be serious," he says, "You have children, right?"

"We're a very close family," I reply. I don't know what Ana and Rose have to do with this. They might not be old enough to fully understand this but they love their father and Kuon adores them. I just don't know how any of them would be with a lack of contact to one another. "My mother and father in law are both supportive of us as well. We have a great support system."

The doctor sighs and looks to me as if he's going to say that he doesn't believe I can take care of Kuon but I'm going to do all that I can to try and one thing is for certain, I will get a restraining order against Shotaro. I want to wring his neck but maybe I can charge him with assault. I don't know how Kuon would feel about that though but definitely get him to never come near us again.

Finally the doctor looks at me in a strange manner, it's as if he's found the winning piece to his argument. Why is he insisting on this? Is he getting a bonus on checking people into assisted care facilities? Is this his weird and illegal side project. "I would say that he will have to be bedridden for most of the next month," I look at him. What does that mean? More pillows? "He also might not have proper bowl fun-"

"Fine. We can treat that," I tell him and I wonder what the hell this man is thinking. Does he want me to give up on Kuon that badly? Does he have some sick obsession with me or is it Kuon, is it because of Kuon's celebrity status. Is it all in my head that this doctor thinks that he's competing against me here?

"I'm saying that we might not be able to tre-" he says and I stand up with my palm face down on the table in a strong position. I messed up once. I'm not going to mess up again. "—at it. Mrs. Hizuri, you know that this means that your husband might be…"

"Incontinence is a common medical problem especially following any kind of head trauma," I speak in a steady voice. Does he honestly think that I would care about such an insignificant thing as that? Kuon could have died, a couple of times at least. Loss of bladder control is not going to keep me from having the man I love with me. "Please tell me the rest of the information I'll need to know and whether anything has to be provided for Kuon at home." I stand up straight and get rid of my inner demons, bringing out my salesperson smile. I can't continue being angry and believe that it will get me everywhere. Kuon is able to make the anger not so strong, that's important to me.

"The moment that this becomes too hard for you please let us know, it's hard to take care of a loved one," the doctor tells me and I don't know if he understands how much I love Kuon. I nod slowly. I just want to be with him, I will fight for the right to be with him.

….

….

I blink sleepily as I look at the ceiling in the hospital room. How long have I been out? I hear a soft and sweet murmuring and I look to the chair beside me. Kyoko is asleep beside me. I feel like I've just made this harder on her. I can somehow think more clearly and I reach to hold her hand. She pulls back sharply and sits up. If I could have done it without waking her up, that would have been my aim.

"I'm fine," Kyoko says and I'm able to listen to her words again, "My father in law has the kids. He's back from Chicago. I'm staying."

I wonder if the doctors have been trying to persuade her to leave. I still have a respiration mask on but my lungs are feeling a little stronger than before. I squeeze her hand and she blinks before looking at me. I smile to her and she comes forward. I hate that I've made her worry so much.

"Corn," she says before pushing a hand through my hair, she gives a happy squeak and then bounces up and down with excitement. "Your fever's gone down so much. Corn, that makes me feel so happy." I look at her. She's been sleeping in an uncomfortable position and looks emotionally and physically tired but I know that she's going to put her own health at risk to make sure I'm okay.

"Hey," I mouth with the mask still covering my face. "Ll-ove…you."

"I love you too," she whispers before wiping away some tears. She moves forward and kisses my forehead before wrapping her arms around me. I watch her. I really do love her so much. I shift back before feeling that the sheets are a little moist. What the heck!?

"Don't worry about it," she says as she kisses my head. She looks around before guiding me back and getting in on top of the moist sheets. I stare at her. She's wearing jeans which she absolutely loves and I just…I just..not even small kids are supposed to do that. How can she be comfortable here? Still, her face doesn't show disgust, relief, but not disgust. She has to have realized what I've done.

"I'm so glad you're okay," she whispers before crying into my chest and as dirty and repulsive as I feel, I wrap my arms around her and she seems to calm down. Without her knowing, I move the oxygen mask off my face for a moment.

"Kyok—kko.." I whisper, "d-d-d-ddo—on—n'tt st-a—"

"Ssh," she whispers as she holds onto my shirt. She tries to reach up for the mask so I can put it back on.

"I'm s-s-s-so-rr—" I begin but start coughing a little, Kyoko's eyes open so she can look at me, she tries to put the oxygen mask over my mouth a little.

"Sssh," she nods. "I know, Corn. I know. Please get some rest," she begs me but I have to make sure that she knows the truth.

"I we-wett…my—ss-e-llff" I tell her before coughing and I have trouble getting the air in and out. She sits up immediately but stays in the bed. She takes the oxygen mask and helps put it over my mouth before rubbing my back so I can get my breathing rate back again. She looks at me and once again there's no disgust or shame or disgust, she's just looking at me with concern and understanding.

"It's okay," she tells me as she turns to me with that understanding nod. "It's okay. Remember when I was pregnant and peed a little bit?" she asks me and I sigh. When that happened she was humiliated and wouldn't even talk to me but I made her see that it was okay. She wasn't in control of her body and I'd just help her get changed and we'd go back to bed and that I definitely wasn't going to leave her over something so inconsequential. "Do you want to call the nurse?" she asks and I pause not sure what to say.

"Why don't you get some more sleep and we'll call when you wake up the next time," she suggests. She presses her forehead into my chest. "I love you, unconditionally," she tells me and I can trust in her words. Hopefully I'll be able to communicate with her at this level when I next wake up.

**End of Chapter Eighteen**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Seventeen

H-Nala, Kaname671, kyoko minion

AN: In answer to the question of whether Sho's attack hurt Kuon. It hurt him a little bit but his mini coma was from infection from Ana's cold attacking the part of his brain where he was operated on so it was more from bacterial infection than the physical shove.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter Nineteen**

"_Hi, baby" I whisper as I see him hooked up to all the different machines. I feel so guilty because there's nothing that I can do. Kyoko has been by his side all this time but I'm his mother. Even Kuu gave blood to him but I can't give him anything. He's unconscious and they don't think that he'll wake up. "I'm here," I tell him as I take his hand in mine. I squeeze it but he still stays there unresponsive to my actions. _

"_You know, I don't think I told you enough when you were a little boy that I love you and my love is unconditional," I kiss his cheek but still there's no reaction. I hate how he did all this because someone harassed Kyoko but he's the type of person who would do this for his wife and not expect to be thanked for it._

"_Did you hear?" I hear a weak voice at the doorway and see Kyoko standing there, one arm wrapped around her waist. I turn to Kuon. Not a sound. He's been in a coma for nearly a week now and I still can't do anything but support him and contribute money towards the hospital bill. _

"_He hasn't said anything," I tell her and Kyoko shakes her head, her eyes are red with tears ._

"_Kuon, the way that they operated on his brain in order to stop the bleeding. They say that he might have some learning disabilities or mental, cognitive, behavioral…" she tells me and I nod. I've researched all of this myself. I'm not the type of mother who would coldly cast my son out to the cold. If Kyoko is unable to care for him then I will. Even if he becomes someone who makes people's stomachs turn with pity and sympathy, that doesn't matter to me. Kuon is my baby. He's my only child despite my love for the woman in front of me._

"_Are you telling me this because you're trying to be considerate of me?" I ask and Kyoko blinks at me confused. "I've spoken to the nurses and the doctors. I've done independent research on the type of injuries that are possible and the lasting disabilities." I feel my breath catch in my throat. Saying what is next might seem somewhat cold. "Or are you justifying it to yourself that you'd prefer he be in our care?"_

_Kyoko stares at me, she blinks back tears and goes over to Kuon pushing his hair back and kissing his forehead. "I won't leave him. I just thought that you should know," she bows her head, "but you already know so that's good then. We're all on the same page."_

"_Kyoko," I tell her stiffly, "Whatever happens to him, if he wakes up and is a different Kuon then he still is Kuon, he's still my son."_

"_He's still my husband," she argues back to me and I nod. Yes. He will still be her husband. I only hope that she can appreciate the sacrifice which he made for her. _

….

….

I go over to Kuon after the nurse leaves and help him back into bed before putting the guard rail up again. I hate that he has to have so many things to help him but at least he's home. I've bought a lot more sheets and comforters and blankets and bedding sets because I always want Kuon to be comfortable and sometimes the incontinence pads aren't enough for him. The doctors have assured us he most likely won't be wearing these forever but I know they embarrass him.

"Stay there, okay?" I ask before putting the radio on quietly so he can listen to an audio book that is read at a slower speed, he told me it comforts him since he's not supposed to be watching the television just yet. I turn to where the nurse has gone and walk over, leaving a gap in the door. "How is he doing today?"

"He might be a little energetic this afternoon," the nurse tells me and I smile happily. That means that he probably will be able to talk with me but I hate that someone who was once so active is told that he has to stay in bed. "His overall health is improving gradually. Make sure that he gets some sleep this morning and I'll see you at the same time day after tomorrow."

"Yes," I smile happily, "Thank you so much," I tell her before looking towards the bedroom again. I'm excited to go back in there and talk to him when he's ready. As I go to the door, seeing Kuon's nurse off. I hear Rose behind me. She grabs my hand and I smile to her. The girls have been so well behaved and so understanding when it comes to Kuon and his health issues.

"Mama, can I try on my Halloween costume?" Rose asks and I nod excitedly. The nurse has just said that Kuon needs to rest, I should give him some time and enjoy this time with the girls. Kuon and I have discussed it and next week, Halloween, I'm going to take the girls trick or treating but Kuu is going to be here in case Kuon needs someone. Father said he's getting too old for parties but is going to bring some snacks for himself.

The past two years, Rose has wanted to be Princess Aurora who she's named after but this year she wanted to be Princess Belle. That meant I got to make a beautiful gold dress for her. "Okay. Are you excited about Halloween?" I ask and she shifts a little.

"Yeah," she says without her usual enthusiasm. I squat in front of her and take her hands in mine. "Yeah," she says before nodding quickly and I hum.

"I'm sorry that Daddy's not going to be joining us this year." I apologize. Rose looks to me with a weak smile.

"It's okay," she says and I put my hand to the top of her head and pull her close to me. She's being really understanding of the fact that her dad's not immortal. "Can we bring him back some candy?" she asks and I pause. Kuon isn't supposed to be eating candy on his current medication and it's not what he would prefer to eat but I can't bear to let Rose down when she's thinking of something so sweet. I know Kuon will accept it and will eat it eventually.

"That's a great idea. That's so kind of you to want to give some to Daddy."

Rose looks at me and then stares down, she shifts again. "When Daddy flew in the air, I was really scared but I wanted to keep Ana safe," she tells me and I smile, she's so mature for her age, "Will he get better soon?"

"It's going to take a little time," I tell her before wrapping her up in my arms even more. "I can tell you that Daddy is doing his best to get stronger for us. I believe that maybe next year or the year after, Daddy will be able to join us again."

Rose nods before turning to the dress excitedly. She grabs it and grins happily. "It's so pretty," she says and I nod. I wonder if she really is fine with the explanation to why Kuon can't be with us this year. She's so mature for her age but it's heartbreaking for both me and Kuon that he has to have a slight absence in her life but at least he's alive, it would be much harder if he had passed away.

…

…

As I blink up, I notice that it's the late afternoon. I've slept most of the day away. I hate being like this, I want to get better but all I hear is rest and take the medication. My throat feels sore and I think I'm going to be scribbling on paper again. I see Kyoko knock on the door gently and I smile to her, seating myself slowly.

"Hey," she says quickly as she rushes towards me, "Let me help you."

"I-I-I-Imm…fi-nne," I stutter and Kyoko takes a deep breath in. She sighs and bows her head but still comes over to me. She fluffs the pillows before setting them behind me.

"I know," she says as she bows her head and makes sure that I'm comfortable. "It's for my good too," she says as she looks away. "I'm being overly protective again, aren't I?" she asks and I look her over. Maybe I'm being the judgmental one, reaching the wrong conclusion that she doesn't trust me. She pushes my hair back and kisses me before reaching for something near the bed. "I keep forgetting to give you this," she says and I stare at her.

It must not be anything from the doctor, she has a checklist of things that the doctors and the nurses have even mentioned. She hands me a box before looking down, her cheeks turning red. I look at it, letting my hands rest on the side of it.

"Ccc—" I try but I can't get the words out. She nods and I start to unwrap the box. I open it to see a gold colored sheep pillow. It matches the one that I got from her when I turned twenty-one. I smile as I hold it with a smile. Nostalgia can help one feel a lot better.

"Do you like it?" she asks with a huge grin on her face and she waits eagerly for an answer. How can I not love it? I nod with a smile before turning to her. I grab to a pen and notepad before writing on it.

'How can I _not_ love it?' I write. It looks a little illegible but hopefully she can read it. She takes it and lets her head rest against my shoulder.

"I thought that you'd like it after your reaction to the first one. This is a limited anniversary release," she explains before letting her hand go over mine. I turn to her and open my mouth to apologize for losing most of my spirit. "Don't you dare apologize," she tells me and I freeze. "You have nothing to be sorry about and feeling like you've let me down is just wrong and you need your strength."

I sigh before grabbing the notepad again, 'Thanks'

She smiles and kisses my cheek. "Ana and Rose wanted to show you their Halloween costumes when you woke up. Are you ready to see them? I can always let them know that you need some time, they are trying their best to understand though I'm not sure Ana quite understands." Kyoko pauses before turning to me. She stops and bows her head. Even though she's been careful with the speed and clarity she speaks with, I know she doesn't quite understand my limitations. "Have I been speaking too quickly or too much?" she asks nervously. "Are you able to…"

"Iii..und-der-sttan-ddd" I stutter again and she sighs in relief.

"I love you," she tells me again and I sit back down, making sure to rest my head on the new sheep. I close my eyes and see her smile fade slightly before she looks forward and steadies herself with a nod that everything will be okay. I pull her down gently and she slips into the covers with me. She pushes her head to my chest and takes slow breaths.

"L-l-llov-ve y-y-yyou…" I tell her and she smiles before putting a hand to my cheek and fiddling with some strands of my hair with her fingers. She kisses my lips before puling back and just beams. I love her so much. I'll see the costumes in a moment when I've had more rest, I'm excited to see them. I just feel so much happiness being at home with my family.

**End of Chapter Nineteen**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Eighteen

Kyoko minion

AN: There will be Kuu and/or Julie in next chapter. Probably the latter.


	20. Chapter 20

**AN: **The middle section in this chapter is different from anything written before in this story and I think in all my stories about from An American Love Story

**Chapter Twenty**

Tonight I actually have a fashion show and I hate that I have to be there. I knew that I couldn't stop my work forever and that people are looking forward to my new designs but I wanted for him to be able to leave the house at least. The nurse has said that he's doing okay today but I don't want to leave him even if it is with Julie.

I set the dinner down on the table for the girls and kiss the top of their heads. I put the smaller portion on the plate and go over to my bedroom. I hope that I don't wake him up, he is always so sleepy and worn down but it's good that he's been following conversation again. As I open the door, my eyes widen as I didn't expect at all to see what is happening in front of me.

Kuon is not only awake but he is sitting with his back pressed against the wall, there are a lot of pillows there which makes me feel a little better about this but he is using a laptop. He is using a laptop with a dimmed screen but….I stand there and blink at him. I hate to say it but I'm worried that his brain is going to explode.

I stop short and put the tray down on a side table so I don't drop it. "Wh-wh—wha—" I struggle before taking a deep breath and come towards him. My eyes widen even more and I feel myself screaming internally. He's using social media!? In his condition, with his celebrity status, he shouldn't be doing this. "Co—Corn," I struggle as I look at him, his eyes are on the screen but I can see the strain. I am pleading that he doesn't have another seizure right now.

"Sweetheart?" I ask as I just watch him in a confused manner. "Do you think you should be on the computer?" My hands are twitching. I want to take it away from him but he's an adult and he's four years older than me and he's my husband. In traditional Japan it would never be considered right to snatch the computer away from your husband as if he's a child.

"N-Nn-nnnea-rrly…dd-d-onne" he struggles before reaching across to have some water and my eyes travel over to his hand. He's temporarily closing his social media accounts. I could have done that for him. I know his passwords. I know that he's not supposed to be pushing himself but I could have done that for him.

"Did you want me to help?" I ask and he shakes his head. He finishes up with a few other websites before getting a blank Word document open and types into it.

Houlw cumm I can wrote better than I taalkk

I stare at what he put. There are a lot of spelling and grammar problems with his writing but I understand what he means. He's not having problem with producing language or understanding language, he's still the incredibly smart Kuon that he always has been but it's the way of speaking and of making those movements and sounds. I don't quite understand it but then I'm not a doctor. One of the therapists I spoke to thinks that it has psychological reasons too and I can understand that.

"I don't know sweetheart," I whisper as I hold his hand. "It'll get better."

He nods and shuts the computer off before lying back and sighing with exhaustion. I know he's frustrated at his condition and I'm frustrated too. He's always been the type of person who has been praised and complimented and even though I know that it's amazing comparing his recovery with those in similar accidents, he doesn't see it that way.

"Kyo-Kkkyyo—" he struggles and rolls his eyes as he turns to me. I look back at him and push his hair back in a comforting manner. I hum as I try to listen to him but he looks away. I don't know whether to pressure him into saying anything but I stand and get the food. I hate that he can't even come and sit at the dining room table with us. He takes the food and sits up again before tucking the napkin into his shirt.

"Your mother will be here soon," I tell him and he nods. "How about we all eat dessert together?" I ask him as I smile seeing him eat even if his portion is smaller than Ana's. He nods and I kiss his cheek again. "I'll be back when it's time for dessert," I tell him before taking his hand in mine. I hold it tight and let my thumb brush over the back. "I'm so proud to be your wife and the mother to your children," I tell him and he smiles. I know it's hard on him but he hasn't given up. I smile. I know inside that very soon he'll be himself again even if it's a year or two, he'll have recovered before any of us know it.

….

….

"So, Shuuhei," one of my very old friends says as we sit at a table in the corner of a bar in Tokyo. I have missed this place, there's no doubt in my mind about that. It's an up-scale place that a lot of celebrities frequent and there's always a crowd watching me but I feel that this is a different experience. "Everyone wants to know the hot topic and since you're so close to the subject himself." I sigh. This isn't the first, second, or even the tenth time someone has tried to engage me in conversation about Kuon. He's the most famous actor to have ever started off in Japan and I know Japan considers him their actor. I'm proud of him but I feel protective as well.

"The video was shown here too, wasn't it?" I ask and sigh before drinking a sip of the beer. "I would love to say no comment, are you going to let me get away with that?"

"Kuu, we're asking out of a place of concern," another one of my drinking buddies says and I turn with a sad smile. I don't know if it's okay to talk about Kuon. I trust these men with my secrets but this involves my kid.

"Are you sure you won't repeat it?" I ask them. I know that it'll be in the media eventually and it's not like the secret identity he had for so long. I know they are concerned for our family and concerned about Kuon but I don't want them to get the wrong impression about my kid. I look down.

"I've seen people get into accidents before, Shuuhei," Hideki tells me and I sigh. I know it's obvious that if the circumstances were even slightly different, Kuon would be lying dead in the street.

"He's doing so much better than the doctors believed," I say in relief and all three of the guys I'm with turn to me. They can see the smile on my face as I look at the beer in my hands. I laugh weakly. "He lost a lot of blood from the accident, had to have a transfusion, I was more than happy to provide it for him. It was," I tap my head where Kuon's scar is. "He had bleeding in his head from where he hit it. For most people, it would have led to an instant death but he managed to survive through the surgery. He has trouble with his speech and won't be acting for a while if ever but he's surviving. He's recovering and surviving through something that would kill most people. I'm really proud that he's doing so well."

"Tell him we're rooting for him, Kuu" Takeru says and I nod. I take another sip of my beer as the food arrives and I look down. They're not judging him or asking about any brain damage or if he's disabled. It brings me some relief."

"You know the other kid on that video," Lance, the fourth in our party says and I look at him. "He was fired from the agency he was with because he didn't represent them with his actions. It appears that the video has blocked a lot of doors for him and no agency will take him."

I sigh before reaching for a piece of the yakitori, "Am I supposed to care?" I ask with an eyebrow raised and Hideki looks at me with surprise.

"I've never seen you this cold before," he comments and I shrug.

"He could have killed my daughter in law and the mother to my grandchildren," I tell him them. "And he's responsible for what happened to my son. I wish I could trash his image and keep him from working anywhere ever again." I know that they are not used to this side of me. Even Hideki who had been with me during my rougher years when I first started acting on screen hasn't seen this part of me for a long long time. "His family, according to Kyoko-chan, operates a large chain of Japanese inns. He can always sliver off back there like the serpent he is."

"Woah, we're seeing a new side of you tonight," Lance says and I'm about to reply but hear my phone. I stand up to take it, walking outside the restaurant. It's a work call, some movie offer and I tell them that I need to sleep on it. I might take it but I wish that it was Kuon who was working, he loves acting. As I stand outside the bar, my back pushed against the wall, I hear someone approach me. It's an actor in his thirties. He bows quickly.

"I'm sorry to bother you, Hizuri-sama," he says as he gets out of the bow. This guy looks extremely familiar and I think that he's visited the US multiple times, is _that_ where I know him from. "My name is Kijima Hidehito, I'm a long time friend of your son. I hope it's not over the line to ask how he is. I've been trying to be respectful and not call him or Kyoko-chan."

"He's alive and recovering. Maybe emailing one of them would be better than calling. He's still got a lot of problems that he has to work through," I advise and the man smiles with relief, his eyes lighting up. He looks like a playboy, very suave, knows just what to say but the look in his eyes is of a child promised a great vacation.

"Thank you," he replies. "I'm just very glad that he's still alive."

…

….

Mom is sitting with the girls to the side of the bed and Ana walks over to me, she climbs up next to me and I roll to the side and look at her. Reaching a hand out, I gently cup her cheek and let my fingers go through her beautiful hair.

"Hhhe-ey" I whisper and see Rose coming over so that she can spend time with me as well.

"Be careful when you're sitting with your dad," Mom tells them and I sit up. I take Ana in my arms gently and put her on my lap, I put one arm around her and the other around Rose as she hugs me from the side.

"Grandmother was going to tell us a story," Rose explains and Mom smiles back at me. "She said it was about you and when you thought you saw the witch." I bow my head and smile, that must have been when I was four but of course Mom remembers it.

"Is it okay if I tell it, Kuon?" Mom asks and I nod. I hold my girls closer to me and kiss each on the top of their head. Kyoko must have left for the show already. I see Mom position herself before she starts to tell them this tale which Kyoko has always thought of as adorable.

**End of Chapter Twenty**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Nineteen

Kaname671

**AN:**

Last year I managed to reach 2,876,334 words on this site 😊 Let's see where I get to by 2021.

Happy New Year Everyone


	21. Chapter 21

**AN: **I have a cold and whereas I feel this chapter was okay, my head is kind of bouncy right now so I'm not sure it feels lacking. I hope it's not and I hope you enjoy it. There will be continuing of last chapter hopefully next chapter. This is just answering some questions.

**Chapter Twenty One**

"Kyoko," I hear one of the other designers, Amanda, say as I check to make sure that all of the pieces of wardrobe were returned. I have said that I want to make sure that there is nothing that can be taken away from the runway but I wish I hadn't, it means I can't leave as quickly as I would want. "Your show was wonderful, darling. All of the ruby and sapphire, the only thing missing was emerald."

I smile as I hear that. Everyone should know that I don't design with emeralds because that is the color that I reserve for Kuon and Kuon alone. Nobody else deserves the stunning green that can make anyone stop and lose their breath and stare into those eyes and…those eyes are mine, well they're Kuon's but Kuon is mine. "Emeralds are too important."

"Is it true that your husband is in recovery he's been missing for a long time?" Amanda asks and I nod. I run my hand over one of the dresses that I've created. I close my eyes and feel a deep warmth inside of me. Now that everything is accounted for, I get to return to Kuon.

"He's recovering," I tell her not wanting to give out more details than that. Usually Kuon tries to accompany me to these shows and often he brings the girls too. Whether he is off stage or in the audience depends on the show and how everyone is feeling. He won't be joining us for some time however since he is still alive then that means I'm sure he eventually will. "Sorry. I really do want to go and spend some more time with him and the girls."

"Such a devoted wife you are," Amanda teases me before shaking her head, "No one would blame you though. Your husband is a sweetheart and he's more supportive than most of the significant others." I nod as I think about Kuon. He really does support me despite my sometimes stubborn attitude. I pack up the garments and send them with my assistant back to the show room. I excuse myself from conversation and get on the phone.

As I wait for Julie to pick up, I feel someone pulling on my arm, I try to pull it back before the person holds on tighter. "Excuse me," I say trying to keep a neutral expression on my face so that I don't come off badly to the media. I try to look at the fan. Most people think that because I'm shorter than most of the models that I can't protect myself. Yes, I am short especially in photographs with Kuon but that doesn't mean I'm not capabl-what the hell.

I stare at the blond asshole who somehow can't take a hint, no it's been far more than a hint. "What the hell are you doing here!?" I ask as I look at Shotaro. It's a couple of days before Halloween but I wasn't hoping to find this type of a monster reentering my life. As soon as the court documents get filed the better.

"I heard you had a show, I came to see it," he says as if that explains everything. No. I don't want him anywhere near me and I especially don't want him backstage. "You were obviously trying to protect _his_ feelings."

"_His_ feelings?" I ask in disbelief because this doesn't make sense. Why is Shotaro still attempting to persuade me that my husband doesn't matter when he matters more to me than anyone. "You mean my husband!?" I yell louder than I expected to. "Listen, I don't want to have anything to do with you! You're the one who is responsible for Kuon's condition and you can get lost for all I care!"

"You mean now that he's not even able to work?" Shotaro says and I just want to kill him. I hate him. I don't think I will keep myself from hating him this time. I feel my old grudges coming to the surface again.

"He's recovering and he needs time to recover!" I yell and he shakes his head.

"You call that recovering, he keeps getting sicker and sicker!" Shotaro laughs coldly and I want to tear out his throat with my nails. I am so pissed at him for thinking that he owns me and that he can win me over and I can be his. He has absolutely nothing to offer me. I might not be an actress but I'm a very famous and popular fashion designer. I have my own money and fame from my designs and people have even worn my outfits down red carpets and not just myself and Kuon. I have clothes featured in so many magazines I could use them as wallpaper and never repeat a design.

"Maybe because _you_ came to our house and attacked him. He had a seizure and you still attempted to attack him. Who the hell attacks someone with a seizure! Or maybe because when he had a cold and was suffering, you came to the _hospital_ to attack him!" I look up at Shotaro and feel a few flashes. I turn and see that there are reporters there who have caught us on camera. I didn't even notice them, I was so caught up by Shotaro being there. I turn to Amanda who looks at me apologetically.

"Kyoko! Kyoko!" some of the reporters say to me and I blink. I didn't mean to say that about Kuon. I only came because this was a very important work event.

"Can you repeat what you just said?" one of the reporters asks me and I feel as if I'm not present. I ignored my surroundings and now I'm here with this guy and I've said things that I didn't need to. I look down. "Did this man really attack Kuon?"

"It's…no comment," I say and hear Shotaro scoff at that.

"Guy deserves it. He doesn't know how to talk anymore. Some rich mute guy, he's a freak," Shotaro says in English but his Japanese accent is definitely heard through his words. I shake my head. I miss Kuon's stereotypical Southern Californian accent that made me swoon the very first time I heard it. I miss hearing him standing up for me and bringing the conversation around to the collection and the show and how the models really were hard working. Kuon knows how to handle the press like a pro but he's recovering, he risked everything to save me and he's recovering.

How dare he!? I look at Shotaro, my eyes widening. I had just said no comment to protect him but now he's actually verbally abusing the man that I love and the man who has always been protecting me. What is worse is that Kuon would never drop down to Shotaro's level and verbally assault him in the eyes of the media. Kuon wouldn't sink that low.

"Guy has trouble moving, speaking, kind of pathetic. It's like a sideshow attraction. Probably can't even take care of himself."

I feel the deep anger around me and I feel my need to protect Kuon, I glare at Shotaro. I don't want for anyone to attack Kuon in this manner. "The truth is," I speak as I step forward. "Kuon easily could have died but he's in recovery and I thank you very much for giving him the time and space he needs in which to recover. We are going to be addressing his future plans when the time is right but he has almost died so thank you for your patience. I also hope that you enjoyed the show. My husband is my muse, my biggest motivation and inspiration. If it wasn't for him and the love he continues to show myself and our children, I wouldn't be here. However, with that being said, Kuon has been hurt very badly and this man is responsible for it and responsible for nearly killing him."

Shotaro takes a step back as the cameras go to him. I give him a superior smile. These people might have come here in order to see a fashion show but this guy showed up at the wrong time. I am going to make sure that he is internationally hated. Yes, Kuon wouldn't sink that low but Kuon isn't here.

"You have no idea what you've done," I smile to him wanting to win against him and if I can't actually kill him, I'll kill his career internationally. This will make him hated enough so that he would have to have no brain cells at all to come close to me. I walk away with people asking me questions but I have said nearly all I have to say. When I'm a safe distance away, I turn back with a firm glare in my eyes.

"All you have to know about this man is that he has attempted to murder my husband following the accident. He can't leave well enough alone," I tell them before staring at Shotaro. "I will never fall out of love with Kuon. My love for him is unconditional and I would _never_ choose you over him."

….

…..

I know that everyone is staring at me as I stand in the convenience store even though I have my sunglasses on but how could I not come here. I need my snacks and I really have missed the type of snacks that they have in Japan. I look at my phone and my eyes widen. There's something about Kuon here although I haven't been told that he's appearing in public yet. No, I've been told bedrest. I look at the news article and my eyes widen.

_Sho Fuwa accused of attempting murder of Kuon Hizuri_.

I freeze. I hate this Sho guy already but I wonder how they could write an article about the bus accident where they feature him as actually murdering Kuon. Yes, I could imagine the theory of him wanting to murder Kyoko but everyone knows that Kuon protected Kyoko of his own free will. I step to the side as I read through the article and my eyes widen.

I was with my son when he had his very first seizure, there was nothing funny about it and it was honestly one of the most terrifying experiences of my life when I saw him so helpless. Now I'm reading that this guy attacked him in his own house when he was having a seizure. You can't come to someone's house when they are healing and attack them. I read further and my heart stops again. When Kuon get infected with whatever virus Ana had, he nearly died and this guy went after him again. This guy, this Sho Fuwa, seems to be continuing to target my son even though Kuon can't defend himself.

I finish the article and stare at it. Which agency was he with again, Akitoki? I feel the anger within me, I have a reputation in this country that extends beyond my own agency. I can wipe out a younger and more foolish celebrity with a snap of my fingers and this Sho Fuwa should have learned more about the way the world works.

This guy targeted my son when my son was dying, he nearly died and instead of giving him respect and care, this worthless scum tried to take advantage of an already painful situation. Well, you shouldn't kick a man when he's down but I'm not that good of a person. I turn to one of the assistants I have with me and point at him. "Can you get this taken to my hotel room?" I ask and the man nods. "I have somewhere I need to go."

I hate thinking that I control everything with my power and reputation but I'm sure that the president of Akitoki can spare some time for Kuu Hizuri, formerly the beloved Shuuhei Hozu, Japan's most popular star other than Kuon Hizuri, formerly Ren Tsuruga.

**End of Chapter Twenty One**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Twenty

Kaname671, kyoko minion


	22. Chapter 22

**AN: **Flashbacks will start again next chapter but I really wanted to advance this particular storyline.

**Chapter Twenty Two**

The girls are sleeping curled up next to me. Mom has suggested that she can move them to their beds but I feel okay. Mom has made sure that I have everything I need and I feel that since I've been confined to the bed that I've been more neglectful. Mom pushes my hair back as I snuggle down with them and smiles at me. "Thank you," she tells me and I look at her questioningly, "I mean. You've gone through so much, worked so hard, I'm so proud of you."

"Wwh-why?" I ask. I feel that I have to ask because I'm so different than I have been. Mom blinks back tears. I hate that I made my mother cry, I wish I was strong again and able to take care of everyone.

"If you can't see how much you've improved then we'll have to find some way of reminding you," Mom says and she continues to smile sadly. She ruffles my hair up like I was a little boy, being careful around my scar from the operation. "Kuon, you _do_ realize that people are saying that an accident like that would have killed nearly anyone else and not just regular people like your father and I but doctors, people who have spent years studying the human mind and anatomy, people who have worked on cases that are more minor than yours. The doctors had to operate on your brain to stop the blood flow. The MRI came up with all kinds of further problems that they thought you'd die from and yet you're here with your children, fighting and working hard each day."

I look at her. She's missing out all of the medical problems that I'm enduring. She's making light of things that should never be made light of. I can't forget the fact that I have trouble speaking and listening, that I'm not allowed out of bed, that I feel depressed a lot of the time, that my appetite has decreased, that I won't be able to return to work for a while, that I have trouble with bodily functions.

"I agree," Kyoko says as she comes to the doorway. She sees the girls with me and smiles. "It's cute," she says before the girls start waking up. "Kuon," she says before wiping back tears. Did something go wrong with the show tonight? I know how important her collections are to her. "Corn, I'm really really sorry," she apologizes and I blink at her. Is she going to leave and take the girls with her? I know that I haven't been much of a father since I got hurt but I love my daughters and my wife. Isn't that enough?

"D-Dd-idd I…ddo-o so—" I ask before feeling my mouth stop working on that word. She turns to me in shock and comes over to me and takes my hand.

"Of course you didn't do anything," she says but I'm confused. If I haven't done anything then why is she so upset? She tries to blink back her tears. "I think I should get the girls into their own beds," she says before turning to Mom. "Can I speak with you privately about something?" she asks and I don't understand what's going on. Why can't she talk to _me_ about whatever is happening? Maybe she doesn't trust me anymore. Maybe she doesn't think I'm intelligent enough to understand what is happening.

…

…

I can guess the kind of thoughts going through Kuon's head as I step out with Julie into the living room. I feel that I really messed up tonight by mentioning Kuon when I should have just kept quiet. Julie watches me and I feel that my breath is caught in my throat. "What's going on?" she asks and I freeze. That was the question which I knew that she was going to ask but it's not as if I was expecting it.

"It's Kuon," I tell her and she raises an eyebrow. Yes, it's obvious that it's about Kuon. "I did something tonight that…"

"That you don't want Kuon to know about?" Julie asks me and I shift uncomfortably. Julie sighs and gestures for us to sit down together. She watches me before leaning forwards. "Does it involve another guy?" she asks and I pale. Yes, but definitely not in the way that she's thinking. However, because I don't answer immediately, Julie looks at me with a pained understanding. "I know that Kuon has trouble performing sexually but he loves you. If you slipped up then -"

I stare at her horrified. I cough before shaking my head, "I wouldn't sleep with somebody else. No, this is about a guy approaching me and I said some things that I shouldn't but it wasn't in an affectionate way." I turn to Julie and sigh. I don't want to get angry at her for suggesting I have feelings for somebody else but is that the way I'm viewed? Am I a slut to her? "I love Kuon with my whole heart. I am so proud of the way he's coping with everything and seeing him tonight with the girls….maybe I want his recovery to go faster but I'm willing to wait. No. Even if Kuon was to pass away, my heart still belongs to him eternally. I was just harassed and the media caught it and I…I feel that I shouldn't have said what I said."

Julie sighs, "I'm sorry," she apologizes and I take steady breaths. "So what happened?"

"It was all Shotaro's fault," I breathe out in frustration and I see Julie tense. I know that she and Father despise him for what happened and how they believe if he hadn't been involved none of this would be happening. They also hate the fact that he is still coming onto me even after causing so much hurt.

"What happened?" Julie asks slowly.

"He was there and he started saying how I was only with Kuon because I didn't want to hurt his feelings which is stupid and ridiculous and you have to know that there is more behind my…" Julie nods along. We love each other and that's something everyone knows. If we didn't then the chances are that we wouldn't have been married for so long. "I started yelling at him for things I've kept from you and Father." I bow my head and close my eyes, "Such as how he attacked Kuon at our house, how he attacked Kuon in the hospital." I see Julie tense with anger but she remains silent. "Then I started talking about how he suffers from seizures and I know he's self-conscious about that."

"So, you gave information which you know he wasn't comfortable with?" Julie asks before putting a reassuring hand on my upper arm. "Darling, you have to know that this information would come out eventually. Kuon won't blame you. He's not ready to appear in public but people are already speculating on his condition."

I take another deep breath in. "Shotaro started trash-talking Kuon and saying things like he was a freak and making fun of his communication skills. He called him pathetic and addressed the media about this. I felt protective of Kuon and I tried to thank the media for their respect whilst saying that although Kuon was hurt very badly, he is recovering and soon we'll hopefully be able to do an interview but then I…I wanted to destroy him even more and so I called him a murderer who has been harassing us and assaulting Kuon and…."

"Maybe that wasn't the best forum to do it but it's the truth," Julie tells me and sighs. "It sounds like what you did was damage control. This man is the one who started it and honestly, if he is _continuing _to track down my son and hurt him then I want to ruin his career as well. It's one thing being a part of an accident that nearly resulted in a fatality but following that same man that you hurt, kicking him when he's down, that's a criminal offense."

I look to her. I don't feel guilty about what happened to Shotaro but I'm worried that Kuon will think negatively about me because I wasn't able to just say no comment and leave. How could I though when Shotaro's words might be printed in magazines and injure Kuon verbally. I look down. "I don't want him to find out though, not from another source. I don't want to cause any disturbance in his recovery. He's working so hard."

"He _is_ working hard," Julie agrees with me and I sigh. I just hope that the media won't blow this out of proportion and talk about Kuon and how they believe he's doing without actual proof. I turn back to the room. It's time to get the girls to their beds if only so I can selfishly snuggle up in my husband's arms.

….

….

After dealing with Akitoki and telling the president that if they intend to continue representing a murderer, I would take down their entire agency and hearing that they already didn't plan on keeping Fuwa on, I managed to secure a talk show. I'll be discussing my work as well but this gives me the perfect opportunity to go on the offense.

"So, we're all excited to hear what work you're doing next," the host says to me and I smile back at him, "But first, we're all wondering if you can give us a little information on Kuon-san. It's okay if it's private we -"

"Kuon was nearly murdered," I tell them and the host pauses. "I don't know how to explain it but this Fuwa guy, he went to Kuon's house after he was released from the hospital following a coma that lasted a few months and attacked him." I don't know very much about this personally and am a little upset that Kyoko never told me this but it doesn't matter, if needed I'll make up what I need to.

"And why would he do that?" the host laughs uncomfortably and I turn to him.

"Because Fuwa Shotaro is a psychopath…no, he's more of a sociopath," I tell them and I hear the audience gasp and lean in closer. "I'm sure that most people have seen the footage of what happened and it's a miracle that Kuon was able to survive and start recovery from that but to attack him afterwards because of a twisted idea of love, that is punishable with a prison sentence."

The crowd starts to gossip and I feel some success at how this is playing out. Soon nobody decent will even associate with this idiot. Nobody crosses my son and gets away with it. Even his own parents should have problems with how he's being depicted and that's a gift that I can give to Kuon whether he knows he wants it or not.

I also know that his birth name has never been mentioned on air before but I don't care. Let his career rot. "Before we continue with the interview though," I say and turn to look into the camera. "I will never work with any director, producer, or agency that feels a desire to work with this criminal. To allow this man to work for you whether you are a fashion designer, interviewer, or producer, if you do that then you are publicly insulting the HIzuri family and the HIzuri name. I don't want to associate with people who feel comfortable working with a murderer."

I feel a cold chill in the air and the host laughs very nervously. Not many have seen this side of me before but this is for Kuon. Maybe they'll learn who Kuon got his dark side from because it most definitely isn't Julie.

The host awkwardly attempts to move the interview back on track but his next words make me feel a sick and twisted pleasure inside, "Well, we definitely won't be inviting Fuwa back onto our show, that's for sure."

**End of Chapter Twenty Two**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**


	23. Chapter 23

**AN: **Please enjoy, yes more flashbacks next chapter. Also there is a time skip of a few weeks here.

**Chapter Twenty Three**

I can't believe it. First of all, Kuon doesn't know about what happened at the fashion show but after about four and a half weeks of being confined to the bed, Kuon has been told that he can go out in public for an afternoon. It's amazing. He's been making short trips around the house but tonight he is allowed to leave in a wheelchair and of all the events and places he could go, Kuon wants to meet Rose's teacher with me.

As we enter the classroom, I put a hand on Kuon's back. I don't want to be seen as overprotective of him but I'm nervous. People are of course gossiping about him being there and commenting on the scars on his ace and the physical wounds over his body. They know what happened but Kuon isn't having a seizure or anything.

"Daddy Daddy!" Rose sings happily as she rushes towards a drawing that has some birds and squirrels on it in all sorts of different colors including polka dots. "This one is mine," she says and Kuon takes it in his hands. He looks it over and smiles.

"It—tt's..gg-gre-re-att" he says slowly and Rose beams with pride. I kiss the top of his head and go over to Rose's teacher to talk with her. Rose starts telling him about her love of drawing and coloring and how she likes to be outside just like him. Kuon sits there listening to her and I watch the two of them. Please don't let this happy memory get destroyed and replaced with something more dark and painful.

"Hi," I tell her before gesturing to Kuon, "We're here for Rose. I believe we were at the six forty-five time slot." Rose's teacher nods to me and I turn back to Kuon. People are still watching him and gossiping but they have enough respect to leave Kuon and Rose alone. We did choose a school where people wouldn't be stunned by a celebrity even though Kuon's condition has been mentioned in the media a lot.

"It's good to see you and your husband, I expected or his condition to be worse, I'm glad that he's doing okay," Rose's teacher says and I smile to Kuon. It's the week before Thanksgiving and Kuon improving will mean having a family Thanksgiving with friends as well. It'll be a lot of fun and something that I've always been fond of.

I nod and walk over to Kuon and Rose, "We've still got a little time. How about we look at some more art pieces," I ask them with a grin and Rose nods eagerly. I turn to Kuon. Is something wrong? Something's wrong with his medication isn't it? He has to go home? Did I push him to get out of bed too early on in his recovery?

"Kuo-" I begin but he laughs weakly and shakes his head.

"Th—th re-s-stt-r-rr-o—" he says and I nod. I slip down next to him. I don't want to baby him and I don't want for him to feel conspicuous or as if he's on show.

"Do you know where it i-" I begin to ask but Kuon nods and smiles to Rose before wheeling himself away. I should follow him, right? What if he has trouble relieving himself or standing up or what if he falls down or has a seizure? I should go with him right? I panic about this but just decide to check the time on my phone. I have to trust him at least a little. The doctors have said that he needs his independence. Besides, there are a lot of adults and teachers and this would be a safe place if he does need help. I just hope that if he needs help, he'll call out for it.

…

….

"_This is the perfect school to take Rose," Dad tells Kyoko and I look around. It still feels the same as when I was a kid and went here. Maybe they've updated the furniture, put new art work on the walls, but the layout of the classroom, the way that the sun goes through the window, the trees outdoors. It's the same as when I was a kid here. _

"_It really does look nice," Kyoko smiles and I am still in disbelief at how I am standing in my old classroom and there have been so many things which have happened. I've lived through my teenage years and become a father who has his own kids to look out for and care for. "What do you think?"_

"_It feels…it's wow," I admit as I take in the feel of this place. It just feels safe and secure and like a second home. I used to be very social with people and I wasn't afraid of trying new things or talking to people whom I never thought that I would be talking to. "I loved this place growing up, I'd love to share those memories with the girls when they are growing up as well. I want this place to help us bond."_

"_You don't need help with that," Kyoko teases me but nods. "Yes, it seems important to Kuon and I like it. Yes," I tell Dad and he smiles._

"_Good, I've already saved you a spot in the list," he winks and I laugh. I just hope that Rose loves it as much as I do. _

…

…

I know that she's worried about me but I've managed to come this far by myself without any problems. I think that I can handle using the restroom by myself. It's amazing how people will look like they want to talk to you and then at the very last second decide against it and take a step back abandoning the idea. Am I that unwelcoming? Am I that unapproachable? I sigh as I roll the wheelchair to the disabled bathroom stool and notice that it's empty. It makes me think of my own school when I was a kid and things were simpler and people didn't make fun of the fact that you were mixed ethnicity.

As I'm about to open the door, I hear a thud from behind me and then hear the locking of the door. I look up and I hate to admit that I'm a little frightened by what I'm seeing in front of me. I try not to let him bother me but what the hell is he doing _here_ of all places?

"Fff-u-wa?" I ask in disbelief.

I mean, of course I'm in shock. Sho Fuwa has just entered the bathroom of my daughter's school where he has no kids of his own enrolled. No, he has no kids period. How has he broken through security and why the hell follow me here? Has he been spying on me, waiting for the first time when I'm out in public to approach me.

"You think it's all a game, don't you?" he says and fortunately he's speaking slow enough for me to understand the Japanese he's using. I blink at him. What is he talking about? "You wanted to ruin my career. Now my own parents won't talk to me."

I stare at him. It's unfortunate that his parents won't speak to him, it's a feeling of loneliness that I've been through before and would never wish upon anyone. I try to observe him but I'm very confused.

"You want to make me suffer. That's what you wanted to do, it's what you're planning on doing tonight," he accuses me and I stare at him because that's the craziest thing I have ever heard him say and that's saying a lot. "You want to hurt my career even more, that's your grand plan."

"Mmm-yy wh—at?" I blink. I've spent the past month confined to a bed because I got sick. I'm only able to leave the house in a wheelchair and the only place I've come is to this school. Is Fuwa on drugs or something? I didn't come to my daughter's open house in order to ruin his career. Why would I come to _my daughter's open house_ to ruin his career!? Can't he see that I'm trying to be supportive of Rose? That's all that tonight is. Being with my family. Talking with my daughter's teacher. It's nothing to do with him and that's why it's so bewildering that he's here.

"You're going to die tonight, Hizuri," he says in a somewhat crazed way and I don't understand any of this. I know that he's been trying to get to Kyoko in my absence but why is he saying that I have some grand scheme of ruining his career. I don't give a damn about his career. I've spent the last month in bed trying to recover a little from my illness.

Fuwa pushes me against the wall and I feel a little disoriented as the wheelchair rolls back and forth, it's at this point that I feel a needle pierce me and a cold liquid getting put through my body. Poison!? He's poisoning me!? What the hell is he…it starts to go blurry and I feel as if I'm on some strange drug that's not going to be in any medical book. He's actually drug-it's at this time I see him take out some type of weapon but my vision is blurring, I can't quite work out what is happening.

At this point I feel him smash something down over my throat and feel the pain in my collar bone. Did he break it? What the hell is he doing? It's at this point I get a moment of clarity and see that he's holding a bat and I see that it's aimed at my head. "Ppl-leas-se" I beg, feeling a childlike fear rush through me. I'm terrified. I try to reach up to guard my head. Please, not the head, not my head. I don't care if you break my body but…I sniff feeling like a child and then get an immense pain through my body and lose consciousness. Am I dead?

…

….

Something is wrong. Kuon has been gone for far too long. Something happened. I feel my fears gnawing at me and turn to Rose's teacher. "I need to check on something, do you mind if Rose stays here for a few moments whilst I sort it out?" I feel relieved when the teacher nods and after promising Rose that I'll be back shortly, I race out of the room. I can't help feeling that something is wrong. As I hear a couple of people on their phones to emergency services my body feels as if it's been completely dried out.

I go to where the crowd has gathered outside of the boy's restroom and I see the blood. I see that Kuon is on his side on the restroom floor, his chair has been tipped over but he's not reacting. I see that his head is bleeding, his body is bruised and also covered in blood but his head. His head shouldn't be bleeding.

I rush forward, pushing through the crowd and grab the towel from the hook, putting it under his head. He's not breathing well and his pulse is weakening and there's so much blood. I bow my head with tears in my eyes as I try to think through everything. If he loses too much blood he'll die. He has to stop bleeding. "Kuon, my love," I try to hold his hand but it flops down in my grip. It'll only be a few more minutes until he's dead. "Baby, listen to me, I need you Corn. I need you." He doesn't respond.

Why isn't he responding? Why is he here? Why did somebody hurt his head? I look to the side where there appears to be a wooden baseball bat. Did somebody try and cave in his head with a baseball bat. I am about to scream when I hear the paramedics. They're talking to each other saying that he could be dead at the scene or he might not make it to the hospital in time. I don't know what they are saying but this shouldn't be happening. I should have never agreed for him to leave the house.

**End of Chapter Twenty Three**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Twenty Two

Kaname671, kyoko minion


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter Twenty-Four**

_I feel like crying again and I don't want to burden Sho-kun. I feel sad because my mother has locked me out again and she left town without buying food. Sho's mother was fortunate enough to provide me with food but the parents were supposed to go to the cram school day to talk to the instructors but Mother didn't go, she said my B-grades weren't good enough. Corn always said that I was smart and that he believed in me. Corn made me happy but now he's not here._

_I look out at the lake as I hold the stone that he gave me. Corn is my very precious friend. Corn believes in me and I hope he's playing up in the sky and that he has his wings. Still, it's sad on the ground, it's sad being so lonely. _

"_If you didn't believe in me then I wouldn't believe in me," I whisper to the stone as I hold it closely. I cry again. I know that Corn had to leave me but that doesn't stop my sadness. I miss you, my dear fairy prince._

….

….

"Please don't leave me Corn," I whisper as I hold onto the stone he gave me so many years ago. It's one of my most prized possessions and Father knew what I needed. I think even Father is starting to lose hope in the situation. Kuon is dying and people are saying it's a miracle that he's not already dead but maybe it would be easier if he was. I understand what they are saying but I don't think it's a waste of time his fighting, if he can win then I want him to do everything in his power to win.

His body is motionless in the bed, his wounds are visible and he looks more like…as much as I hate to say it…a corpse. I hold onto his hand but he doesn't react. I hear a tap on the wall next to the door and look up feeling absolutely exhausted. I blink in a very tired manner, "Father," I whisper and Kuu nods.

"Can I sit with you?" he asks me and I can see the way he's looking longingly at Kuon.

I pull a chair out beside me and turn to Kuon, I blink back tears. "Your dad's here," I tell him although I know he won't respond. He's hooked up to so many machines. He's lost so much blood and…I turn back to face Kuu and see the bandages around his arm and how pale he is. He gave up more blood for Kuon.

"Of course," I tell him quickly realizing I haven't verbally responded. "Kuu," I whimper, "Who would do this to him?"

Kuu stands in front of Kuon and cups his face with his hand, he smiles as he looks at his little boy and I feel the pain that he's trying to hide from me. He lets him rest but doesn't say anything. I look between them and bow my head. "You have to know what happened," Father tells me and I freeze. I nod slowly. I know it was Shotaro somehow but I don't know if he got someone to do this for him or if he found a way to do it himself. However, Kuon hasn't done anything to Shotaro, it's been Father and I who have attacked him.

"Can you stay?" I ask as I turn to Father and he nods.

Father turns towards Kuon once again, "Hang in there for me, son, we'll do all we can to help."

…

…

_I look across at Kuon as we sit with our lawyer in his office. Today we're doing the important task of updating our wills in order to include Rose and Ana in them. Since we have three different wills it takes a longer time despite them saying the same things. Whoever dies first will leave the money and property to the other one of us and then after we both pass, our money and property will go onto Ana and Rose. If they are still young though, the money is transferred to Kuu and Julie with the understanding that we want it to be used for Rose and Ana. _

_My will says the same thing, that my property goes to Kuon and a portion to be saved for the girls' futures. I thought that Kuon's would say the same thing but he keeps looking down as if something is wrong. I look to him and he shakes his head. "Corn?" I ask and he finally turns to me._

"_Kyoko," he says finally and I nod, listening to him. "Please don't take this as an insult, princess but there's someone else I need to take care of with my finances if anything were to happen to them and I need you to promise me something because I don't think that it needs to be written down."_

_I pause unsure what he is talking about. He's not going to tell me he has some kid from a hookup he had as a teenager, right? He's not going to tell me that he's got a mistress. I don't want to think these things but I'm not sure who he is referring to. I open my mouth to ask and the attorney leans forwards._

"_Can I have the name of the individual?" the attorney asks and Kuon looks at me and bows his head._

"_Two names," he tells me and my eyes widen. He has a second family that he's hiding from me? He has a secret mistress and a - "Kuu Hizuri and Julienna Hizuri." _

_I pause. I feel stupid thinking that he's hiding a secret family from me when he's really just speaking about his parents. He loves his parents and I know that they have a lot of money and savings but that doesn't mean that they won't get hurt. I take his hands in mine and smile to him. "Kuon, listen to me, if you die and your parents need help with anything then I'm not going to say no to them. I love both your father and your mother as if they were my own parents. We're a family and they helped me realize the importance of that. If you were gone and they needed money or help or a place to stay or anything else then they are not going to suffer, I wouldn't let them suffer."_

"_We don't need to put that in," Kuon says to the attorney and I look down._

_Of course I would help Father and Julie-san. Even if I had to spend a million or so dollars getting them out of danger I would do so without hesitation. I am just glad that Kuon thinks so much about his own parents when my mother still doesn't give a damn about me and my father doesn't even know I'm alive._

…

…

It's been forty eight hours. The girls have to understand at this point why I can't leave the hospital but Father has been supportive. Julie has already taken them to see their dad and it was heartbreaking hearing them tell him how much they love him and want him to come back home. I know that the chances don't look good. He's fading but there has also been no change and whereas one might say no change is bad, he hasn't gotten worse, he hasn't died yet.

"Kyoko," Kuu says in a slow pace and I don't want to hear it. I don't want him to have given up on Kuon already. "Kuon would want you and the girls to be happy and safe even if he wasn't here. I know that it'll be hard to ge-"

"Father," I speak sharply. "You've never questioned Kuon before, don't start doing it now. We don't know what is going to happen. He still has a chance of waking up."

"Kyoko, everyone is saying that a normal person would have died instantly in only a matter of seconds," Kuu tries to reason with me and I sharpen my stare which is directed at him. Yes, a normal, average, every-day type of person _would_ probably die but when has Kuon ever been normal? Even when he was Tsuruga Ren, he was never to be considered _normal_.

"Kuon isn't dead. He can keep fighting," I try to persuade Father but he looks down.

"Kyoko, if it isn't a fatality then there is the possibility that Kuon could be brain dead," I look forward. The doctors have said that to me as well. I know that Kuon would hate to be in a vegetative state but I can't just pull the plug on him and walk away. He's far too important to me. He wouldn't give up on me.

"I doubt it," I whisper knowing that I'm in denial here but this is Kuon, I can't just let him die and I'll never be okay with making that decision.

"Kyoko, the needs for a person in Kuon's condition might not be able to be things that you or I can do for him. I would do anything for my son but if he has lifelong disabilities then -"

I stare at Kuu, I know that it's not coming from a mean and cruel place but Kuon would be alive. It would be an adjustment for him and for me but after some time getting used to his disabilities and how to handle them we can work on getting back to normal or at least somewhere where the four of us are happy and together.

"I appreciate the fact that you tell me this and that you _will_ be there for Kuon," I emphasize that and stare at Kuon. I want him to wake up so badly. I don't care that I have only changed my clothes once in the nearly three days I've been here. I don't care how my hair or skin is. I just want to be here for him in case he needs me. I close my eyes and take hold of Kuon's hand again. "I am going to be with my husband. I am going to stay with him and I'll just have to hope for the best."

Father looks at me with a little apprehension but eventually nods with a sigh. I'm not stupid, I know what Kuon's chances are but then I can't stop loving him. I just really hope that he will get better. "Have you asked the president about getting some security?" I ask and Dad nods. Hopefully having bodyguards and private health care people nearby will help because I will rip the heart out of anyone who comes near Kuon with anything other than good intentions.

….

…

_I don't understand. The last thing I remember was pleading with Fuwa for him not to kill me by bashing my head in with a baseball bat and feeling completely terrified before I lost consciousness. Now I'm here in what appears to be a waiting room with a single chair and just white. Am I dead? Did they make a mistake and send me to heaven? I don't think I deserve heaven. I don't want to be dead but I hope that Kyoko will forgive me. As I look around, I see a pool with water in it and go over. I get down next to it and see my face at thirteen before life took all the innocence away from me._

_I'm not thirteen anymore. I'm thirty-one. Still that's the face that is staring back at me. I look around before hearing footsteps and I try to steady myself. Is this the grim reaper to take me to hell. They have made a mistake haven't they? _

"_Kuon," I hear a familiar voice say and my back straightens. I turn and my eyes widen before I get to my feet. My jaw drops as I see him there, fifteen and without all the blood that I caused. I open my mouth to speak but I don't know what to say. I'm reponsi- "You're not responsible for me," he tells me and I look down guiltily. "Kuon, you're not responsible for me and I'm not even sure that you're…dead…"_

_I look at him. What is he talking about? If I'm not dead then he is some really weird psychological hallucination. _

"_Rick, have you come to take me with you?" I ask before closing my eyes painfully. I haven't been able to speak normally in months, I missed being able to complete sentences. I look around. I feel like I should be at Kings Cross for some reason. _

"_It depends, do you want to come with me or do you want to spend a little more time on Earth?" I blink at him, he's offering me a choice? I open my mouth to speak but the words don't come out. _

_I guiltily look away. "Rick, you've always been so important to me," I tell him but he grins. _

"_Then you should go back to Kyoko. You'll have plenty of time to be dead later on but if you're willing to fight for it go be with your wife and your daughters."_

_I open my mouth to speak but I just can't understand how he knows so much about my life. I feel as if I'm floating outside of my body but as soon as I realize this feeling, Rick pushes me backwards and I feel a strong pull back down to the hospital bed. I can't see the light any longer. What does that mean? _

…..

…..

I can't breathe. It's as if my lungs aren't working and I can hear sobbing in the room. I feel very afraid and alone and I can't move very well. I just feel so weak. None of this is connecting. I hear the sobbing again.

"Please, sweetheart. I know it's hard," Kyoko. I want to look at her but I can't open my eyes, I can hear her though. "Corn. I know it's asking a lot of you but keep fighting, please?" she begs again. Am I dead? Am I haunting my wife? I try very hard to open my eyes but I can't do it. "I'm sorry. Please, Corn, I'll do anything," she says and I feel my thumb tapping the back of her hand very gently. She gasps and I try to open my eyes again. "Corn?" she asks again and I squeeze her fingers. I've never felt so weak before.

"Oh my god," she says excitedly, "Kuon." I feel her very gently push my hair back, kissing my forehead. "Kuon, sweetheart, you can do it, you can do it my prince," she tries to encourage me and my eyes flicker open and I can see her for a moment but I can't get my eyes to stay open. I try to breathe again before feeling a respirator mask on my face. "Corn," she says as she holds onto my hand with both of hers.

"K—Kk" I try to say but I can't get her name out. I feel like I'm losing her name. Kyoko. Her name is Kyoko. She is _my_ Kyoko, _my_ wife. "Ko…" I can't get onto the next syllable without my brain stopping. "Koko?" I whisper and she squeezes my hand, kissing the back of it.

"I'm here, Corn," she tells me and I feel a sense of fear around me. I hold her hand tighter and she squeezes back before holding my hand to her heart. "I'm here, Kuon," she repeats. I hear the doctors coming into the room and it's too much, it's all too much. I need to be here with Koko-Kyoko. I need to stay here with Kyoko. She is _my_ Kyoko.

**End of Chapter Twenty-Four**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Twenty-Three

Enigma, H-Nala, Kaname671


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter Twenty Five**

Kuon has a new list of obstacles that he has to overcome. The doctors have confirmed that he is now legally disabled but it doesn't matter. He's awake. He's alive. Disabilities can be treated and recovered from to some extent. He's only made monosyllabic sounds but it's to be expected. He can call me K'oko as much as he needs to. The way his head was hurt is seen physically, they had to shave off his head to further treat him but they only shaved it off in the part where he has the dent. They'll do more later. I can't believe that Kuon has a dent in his head.

"He won't be able to have hard food for a while," the doctor tells me and I nod. I wanted to enjoy our holiday together and there are going to be sweet things around. Although it's not Kuon's favorite, I don't want to seem cruel to him. "He'll have to stay in the hospital for a…"

"Will he be able to come home for Christmas?" I ask with wet eyes. I don't want to say that it's my birthday because that doesn't matter. I hold onto his hand, taking comfort in his breathing through the respiratory mask. It's a miracle that he even survived.

"We'll see," the doctor says and I know that isn't a definite. It's very selfish of me. "We're thinking about monitoring his breathing but we might have to do some work on his throat," he gestures to me the mark of where the bat landed on his collar bone. He's been having a lot of difficulty moving that side of his upper body due to the breaking of the bone. I look him over before nodding. I've never seen anyone survive this type of damage before even in the movies or dramas. "If we do have to operate, it might affect his voice, the way he speaks. We're hoping he would recover but it might change his voice."

I nod, feeling my eyes fill with tears. I won't be hearing his voice either in Japanese or in English. I won't hear that sweet Californian accent when he tells me that he loves me, I won't hear him call me his princess, I won't be able to recapture those memories and what if his voice fades? I know it won't because of all the work he's done as an actor but…no the way he sounds isn't important. His breathing is more important and if they need to operate on it then I want them to operate on him.

"Has he stabilized?" I ask which is probably the most important question to ask, the doctor nods.

"Right now, he's stable so we have to be patient for recovery to start. It truly is a miracle that he wasn't dead at the scene. His probability of survival was in the single digits. It's…only one in I would say a few hundred people would have survived this." As the doctor says that, I take Kuon's hand to my lips and kiss it. He's fighting for us. I don't care that I look like trash. Kuon is fighting for us despite how much damage he's been through.

I hear a knock on the door and turn to see the attorney we've worked with before. I know that Father requested he come but I'm not sure what to say. I look to the doctor. "Can I have a little time alone or are there further examinations for Kuon. I want him to have as many as he needs. Don't worry about the cost." I feel glad at least that I have medical insurance to cover us if Kuon can't keep hold of his due to the fact that he can no longer work.

"We have to wait for him to recover a little more before we test again," the doctor says and I smile, thanking him. I can't believe how bad he looks. He didn't do anything wrong and he couldn't defend himself. There is absolutely no way that he chose to fight.

As the doctor leaves, I turn to our lawyer and take a slow breath. "Thank you for coming," I tell him as I kiss Kuon's hand again. I just want him to be okay. "Is it possible? The attempted murder charge? Is it possible?"

"Yes," Eric says and I look to him with a cold look in my eyes as I think about Shotaro. "This counts as a charge for murder in the first degree. However, the fact that he is not a US resident or citizen is the complicated factor."

I look away, "Charge him with whatever you can," I say wanting to rip out his heart with my bare hands. Kuon could easily have died. Everyone is surprised by the fact that he hasn't passed away already. I take a slow breath. I don't want to ask this but maybe it'll help, "Are the charges for attempted murder very different for the charge of murder."

"It depends on a case by case basis," Eric says before shaking his head. "However, in this case, no. Everyone has thought that there was no hope and so it does constitute a capital murder charge which means life imprisonment at the very least."

I smile weakly. That's where he belongs. That's where that dirtbag belongs where he can no longer hurt us. I want him dead but being locked up for eternity is also punishment I can support. "Good," I nod before seeing Kuon's eyes flicker and I kneel down beside him. I ignore everything else around me as I concentrate on those gorgeous eyes. "Hi, sweetheart," I say as I continue to hold his hands.

"Pai-" he struggles. Again a single syllable and I hate seeing the tears in his eyes. I look over at the IV drip he's on before pressing the call button. I know that he's in a lot of pain but I don't know how much else we can do. I kiss the back of his hand a few times.

"Let's get something to help the pain," I speak slowly hoping that he can still understand me or at least find a source of comfort in my voice. I raise my hand to push the hair on the other side of his head back but he flinches as he sees me about to touch him. I pull back. I have no idea what he's been through but the doctors did suggest he would have post traumatic stress. I shouldn't push him too much.

I continue holding onto his hand. His condition seems so much worse than Nate's and it breaks my heart. Still, I have to focus on the positives. He's alive. He's alive and that's most important. Eric excuses himself and I see Kuon attempt to sit up but he's too weak to do it by himself. I look at him remembering how his body has moves in his movies and TV dramas. I help him up, trying hard not to show how painful it is seeing the man who once played BJ having such difficulty.

He smiles weakly, it's kind of lopsided but it's not as if I won't get used to it. "Ta..K'oko" he struggles and I nod. I hate seeing him this way. He's always been so strong, so athletic, so able to do everything without experiencing problems but now…I kiss his cheek and he doesn't flinch. I look to the side where there are some large markers and coloring books. I blink back tears. He's trying so hard but his abilities seem to be similar to that of a small child.

"Father brought your shee—p" I say hating that my voice has broken. I had him the large pillow of the golden sheep I bought him before and he brings it close to his chest. He's so different from when the first accident occurred but this wasn't an accident, this was someone attempting to kill him and only very very narrowly missing.

Kuon looks away from me and stares out the window. He takes my hand in his and I look at it, watching him. He slowly tries to….is he taking off my wedding ri-I snatch my hand back from him and make sure that the ring is secured.

"Don't," I whisper through tears before I get to an empty part of the bed and place my hands on each side of his face so he won't look away from me. "Corn. I am still your wife. I can't stop loving you. Do you hear me? I care about you. I want to be with you. I'm proud to be with you. Don't ever try to take my ring off," I tell him sharply. I don't want to be angry with him when he's suffering so much but I need for him to know that I am still his wife. "Kuon, please," I whisper as I place my other hand over the one on my heart. Even if he is as disabled as he seems that doesn't change anything. I don't care what anyone else will say. He is the person I love, the man who made me believe in love again, my most important person. No matter what people will gossip about, I am proud and happy to be with the person I love.

I lean down next to him and smile as I remember when I was his little sister who loved him. I place my lips over his neck and suck down in order to leave my mark on him. I see him smile weakly as he looks at me and I smile back. I know that he's going to recover. It won't be to the point that it was before but I'm going to be right there beside him.

He closes his eyes but gently shifts me off of him, I follow his lead. I know he's having trouble and anything that I can do to help, I want to do. He holds to my hand and then gently wraps his arms around me. I snuggle closer to him, being careful of the cords and wires and sob into his chest. "I love you," I tell him because I can never say that enough.

….

….

I can't believe this. I have been contacted by the police and they have told me that I am a suspect, a prime suspect in what happened with Hizuri but don't have a warrant for my arrest yet. I know that they have to contact other people, the Japanese embassy or something but I could have travelled outside of the US if only they hadn't told me that I wasn't allowed to fly. Pathetic.

I need to clear my head and so leave the hotel room, I sigh as I see the police officers around me. Hizuri's treated like a god damn prince in this country. You would have thought that I'd attacked some royalty or the emperor not just some celebrity with a stupid award. I leave through the front of the hotel and see someone get out of a car on the other side of the street.

It's just some stupid customer for the store they're parked in front of. Just someone stupid, not worth any of _my_ time. I think I've seen a vending machine or something around here. As I walk down an alleyway the man follows me and I walk faster. Okay, now I'm lost and isolated and….

The stranger grabs me by the back of my neck and slams me into a metal box. I freeze. Was that on purpose? Who the hell do they think they are messi- I feel an elbow going straight at me followed by someone kneeing me in my balls and then my body gets tossed like a play toy by the man's feet. What is this? A ninja? Are you expecting me to believe a ninja is attacking me?

I try to get up but feel the man laugh bitterly before grabbing me up by the collar of my shirt and slamming my body into a wall. Damn it. I don't want to admit that this hurt. As I look at the man I see that he's wearing glasses and a hoody.

"I don't have any 'American' money?" I say in English with a heavy hint on the word American so that this thief knows how uncultured I. The man puts his elbow up and across my neck as he pins me to the wall. I see the glint in his eyes.

"I don't want any of your money," he says as he puts the sunglasses in his pocket and I realize that the person opposite me is HIzuri's father. This man is the one who tried to ruin me, no he did ruin me, telling people that he's better than me. I attempt to strike out but he blocks me, in fact he's blocking every attack I make as if he's some martial arts master. He's just an old guy who is too old to be working in the entertainment industry.

He throws me on the ground and I taste the blood in my mouth but laugh. He puts his foot on my chest and turns it to put more pressure on me. "I'm not gonna be like Hizuri," I tell him in Japanese now that I know he can understand me. He looks at me. His eyes are showing a deep level of hatred and fire. He looks just like a demon but he's too old to be a real threat.

"So you're admitting that you hurt my son?" he growls out before kicking me in the groin again. Damn it. It's obvious that that hurts. He leans down so I can smell his breath and see the hatred in his eyes that only comes from hell. "You're not worthy of breathing in the same air as my son."

"I mean," I pant and he slams my head back down, he stares over me as if he's a wolf or vicious animal. "I'm not going to beg and plead with you not to hurt me," I laugh and see the anger in this man's face reach a level I don't think I've ever seen before. "Please not the head. Please. Please hurt my body but not my precious head. I only wanted to be there with Kyoko and my family. Please show me mercy." I say and he grabs my neck, digging his nails in as if they are claws. He looks as if he's going to reach down and rip out my heart with his bare hand.

I brace myself expecting a deep pain that I won't recover from but he stands up and kicks me so I roll once more before getting onto his phone. Who the hell is he calling? A mob? A gang? He's going to leave the murder part to somebody else. "Hello," he says in a very calm manner. "I need to request an ambulance. There's someone in the Hotel Paradise parking structure who looks like they've been attacked. They need emergency medical protection and please bring them to the nearest hospital. The _nearest_ one."

Is he saying that because he doesn't want me to be in the good hospital with his stupid asshole son? He gets off the phone and kicks me again.

"You'll survive," he mutters before walking away. What the hell was that?

…

…

Okay. That was stupid. I could have messed everything up for Kuon by not relying on the police to handle the situation but I needed to kill him. That's all that was pushing me to do this, the need to kill and hurt and destroy his life. He didn't give a crap about Kuon but I went too far. It was when I was looking down at him seeing that fear in his eyes that made me realize that he's an asshole but he's also a person and I don't need to be a murderer and I don't need to lose it all for _him_. He's not worth it.

I feel my heart aching as I think about what he said about Kuon begging for his life. Of course, he would be begging for his life but to know that he hadn't done anything and his head had been bashed in anyway, I don't understand why Kuon has to suffer. I want to protect him. As his father, it's my responsibility to protect him.

I'm also certain that in those moments when he believed he would die, his thoughts weren't about saving his own life but staying alive so that he could be with Kyoko and Rose and Ana. I know that what Kuon wants most is what I want, to be a good husband and father and be with my family. I wanted to hurt that man in the same way that he hurt Kuon but he's a person and I do not want to take a human life.

I feel sick knowing how close I came to my demons awakening. I don't think that's what Kuon wants either. No. If Kuon were at his best with no injuries, he wouldn't be spending his time wanting to physically be causing people pain who caused him pain. I'm very glad that I stopped where I did. I go back to my car and drive off.

As I start the car I turn the speaker phone on and call Jules, "Hey," I say sadly and I know that she can detect from the tone in my voice that something is wrong. "I did something stupid."

"You beat him up didn't you?" Jules says and I pause, "Don't worry. I'm glad that _somebody_ treated him the way that he deserves."

**End of Chapter Twenty Five**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Twenty Four

Kaname671, kyoko minion

**AN: **I do have scheduled updates for my other fics. They are not forgotten about but I have to get my butt to go back onto schedule. Most of it is school work but I'm hoping for a huge update before the end of either this month or next month. - Fay


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter Twenty Six**

It's been a few days since I woke up but my recovery is slow. I'm having trouble moving my legs although they can move and I feel exhausted most of the time. They say I will probably be in the hospital until sometime in mid or late December. I hope it's in time for her birthday.

Kyoko holds tight to my hand with both of hers as she kisses it gently. I still feel woozy and I feel a lot of pain throughout my body. If I concentrate too hard the pain increases. I can't even communicate anymore and sometimes it's as if I'm not present any longer. Kyoko holds to my hand tightly and squeezes it as the therapist puts out a tray on the bed and puts different cards with pictures on it. I turn to Kyoko but there's no judgment on her face, she's just looking at the simple pictures like a cat and a dog.

"Hopefully we can get a benchmark of how you're thinking right now, Kuon," the therapist says to me but even though she's addressing me I have the feeling that she's telling Kyoko. "This isn't a test where you're being graded we're just trying to figure out what level of comprehension and understanding that you're at."

I turn to Kyoko. I know that they are trying to help me but I don't want her to be disgusted by me. She looks into my eyes and kisses my cheek lovingly.

"Sweetheart, we have to start your therapy somewhere and it doesn't matter to me where you're at," she says as she kneels down opposite me. "Don't worry about how I feel about your answers. Just do the best that you can."

I pause and continue to stare at her but then nod. I'm not stupid. It's just that something in my brain makes me freeze when I attempt to speak and I can only say short syllables. The therapist has the cards placed in front of me. These are all words that have one syllable to them and I'm not feeling comfortable with saying all of them.

"Now," the speech and language therapist tells me, "I'd like you to locate the cards which I ask for in as much time as you need. I'm going to say a word and if you could hand me the card," she says and I pause as I look at them. There's a lot of different pictures and I'm not sure if this will change the test results. "Okay. Can you show me which the hat is?"

I look down at the cards and then turn to Kyoko. I hate feeling helpless. She whispers that it's okay and kisses my hand again. I manage to find the hat and hand it to the therapist.

"Okay. Next is dog."

I hand the dog card to her. In fact, although it takes me longer to locate the card then understand the word on it, I get everything correct. It seems like the type of activity a toddler would be asked to do and it makes me feel self-conscious.

"Kuon was able to locate all of the cards," Kyoko says as she turns to look up at the therapist. "What does that mean? That's very good, right?"

"It means that he understands the words which we're using even if he is finding it hard to form those words himself," the therapist says and I nod. I bring Kyoko's hand to my own lips and kiss her.

"Yo…'kay…Ko'ko?" I ask her slowly, slurring my words a little without meaning to. I sound sick. I sound like I've suffered a stroke and am one of those people who become a burden on everyone around them. Kyoko blinks back her tears and nods. I wish I wasn't putting her through all of this pain.

"Yeah," she says as she tries to hide the tears in her eyes but she's smiling. Those are happy tears. "I knew you were always so intelligent," she says before getting up and kissing me on the lips. As she pulls back, I look away. I know that tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I feel very guilty that she plans to spend part of it with me at the hospital. If this really is bringing her joy then I want to do my best for her.

"To'ro?" I ask her again hating the way that I sound but the doctors aren't going to operate on my throat so at least I get to keep my voice.

"Julie and Kuu are going to treat the girls to a great Thanksgiving and I'm going to come here so you won't be alone," she tells me as she smooths my hair down on my uninjured side. I shake my head but she puts her hand to my cheek and looks at me firmly. "_I_ want to be here. I know that Thanksgiving means more to you than to me and I am most thankful that you're alive. _I need_ to be here."

The therapist puts down some new picture cards in front of me but then also some words. I can understand the words. I don't think I could write the letters too well for right now but I can read the words and match them up even if I have to do it slowly. Kyoko watches as I do so and seems excited that I'm doing it at a reasonable speed.

The therapist puts the cards together and smiles, "I have to be honest with you, Kuon. It's incredible that you sustained such an injury and still can function at this level. I have great hope for your recovery."

I pause, it stings a little. _This level_? I look down. Am I that pitiful. Kyoko looks to me, tilting her head as she watches me. She knows what I'm thinking without my even saying it.

"We are a family, that doesn't change. You are still my husband, still the man I love and you are still Rose's and Ana's loving father. I know that's what is most important to you, that you're their father and that won't change. I promise you. You have us with you. You have your family, a family that loves you and that definitely includes me. I will never ever stop loving you, Corn."

"Lo' yo' K'oko," I slur out again and she smiles, closing her eyes and breathing gently as if that is the only thing she needs to hear.

…..

…..

_I look across at Kuon feeling a little guilty for waking him up but the pains and aches of carrying a six-month-old fetus is something that doesn't make me feel the best. I've been having trouble sleeping so I told Kuon that I'd come downstairs and read a book and he offered to come with me. I feel a little guilty that he just followed me down here. I know that he only wants to support me but he needs his sleep as well._

_He pulls out a pen and marks something down on the paper in front of him. I smile. I wonder if he's making dictionary entries from his phone again. I smile playfully before going to join him. "Hi," I smile and he turns to me, putting down the pen and paper. _

"_Sit here," he says as he gets up from the chair and helps me sit down. I watch him wondering what he's up to. He starts to massage my bag and shoulders before kissing my cheek gently. "You are so beautiful," he tells me and I smile. He always takes such amazing care of me. I look at the paper he put down. "Interested?" he laughs._

"_Maybe you needed something loo-" I pause as I see what is in front of me. It's a Japanese crossword puzzle but it's an advanced general knowledge crossword and Kuon has nearly got all of the words in there correctly, there are only a couple of blank spaces. I laugh. "I know that father always says that you're smart but…"_

"_Hey," Kuon says teasingly, "I'm not as smart as you are but I'm not stupid. Are you trying to tell me something?" _

"_No, I just forget that you could have gotten a masters degree easily with your intelligence," I tell him and he laughs. He kisses my cheek and comes to squat in front of me and he takes one of my hands in his and brings it to his lips._

"_Yes, possibly," he tells me. "But what kind of fun would I have in life if I gave up on acting?" _

…

…..

I can't imagine how hard it is for him. He's always been so articulate, so capable, so charming and as much as I hate to admit it manipulative and able to control a situation without anyone even noticing it. Now he can't even take hold of his own situation. I hate seeing him this way and not being able to heal him. I'm proud of him though. He's fighting and he's obviously not brain dead. I believe that he'll get better and recover but I'd hate to be seen as an invalid or burden.

As I watch him sleep, I brush his hair back and try to smile weakly. At least he's alive and recovering. I keep thinking about how they said that he'd die on the scene or die before the hospital. I feel a deep sense of pain throughout my entire body as I think about the pain I would have gone through had he really died on me. It'd be a million times worse than the struggle now.

"I have to go for a few hours," I tell him knowing that I need to at least spend some time with the kids and I need something to eat and probably a shower and to change my clothes. "Your Dad is here," I turn to Father who is standing in the doorway. He told me what he did to Shotaro and I'm surprised that they just fined him the money and didn't bring it to court. They said that he got a little bit more of an understanding reaction because he called the ambulance for Shotaro himself and even covered the charge for it.

I don't know what led him to do that but Father is a good person and Kuon would have wanted to do that himself. Yeah, if Kuon was at the same level of physical fitness as he had been before any of this had happened, he could have beaten the crap out of Shotaro. Now he's been officially deemed unable to care for himself. I care for him though, I'm going to do all I can to make sure that he's okay and that all the best decisions are made.

"Thank you, Father," I whisper as I squeeze Kuon's hand. "He might just sleep through your visit. He did really well with the speech and language therapist today."

Father smiles as he comes and sits down next to Kuon. "Kyoko, if you want to get some sleep and return in the morning," he suggests and I notice that he's brought with him a few books but when I see that they are all about traumatic brain injuries I feel that cold piercing through me again. Father is truly concerned about him as is Julie.

"I don't know," I whisper as I stare at him. "Father, you'll keep an eye on him, right? Make sure that he doesn't-"

"I will do all I can to keep him safe," Father promises me and I shift uneasily. I don't want to leave Kuon but I think the girls need me with them as well. "He knows that you love him. He wouldn't judge you for -"

"I'll be back in the morning as early as possible," I tell Father with a deep bow. I go over to Kuon and squeeze his hand, shaking his shoulder a little. "Corn, sweetheart?" I ask hating to wake him but I'd be even more upset at myself if I didn't tell him anything. "I'm going to go but I'll be back in the morning, okay?" I ask him and he nods slowly. He's still sleepy. "Your dad is here. I just didn't want you to think that I've left," I tell him before kissing his forehead. "I'm sorry to wake you, Corn, please get some sleep my love."

Kuon nods and mouths once again that he loves me before returning to sleep. I put my hand on his shoulder and tuck the blanket around him. I remember when I didn't want to be someone who went around like an idiot saying that I wanted my life to revolve around one person. Now I'm glad that it does. I married someone who makes me the center of his world so why shouldn't he be the center of mine?

…

…

_I can't work out where I am. It doesn't seem real, it's as if I'm somewhere I shouldn't be and then I hear raindrops and look up to see that I'm holding a black umbrella. I'm in a graveyard but I don't know why. Kuon is recovering. He might not be in the best of shape but he's recovering gradually and I don't understand what is here but as I look up to where Kuu and Julie are surrounded by maybe a hundred or so people, I walk towards where there is an open coffin. _

_My heart stops as I see that Kuon's body is in the coffin and my heart seems to rip open in a way that I've never experienced. I take slow and nervous steps forward and the body just remains there, unmoving. "Sweetheart?" I whisper before seeing him there, he's not moving, I reach out and I feel that there is no blood, no breath. "Corn," I whisper painfully before whipping around._

_Why did I not know that he had died? No. He's not dead. He can't be dead. I try to touch him, prodding him and yet nothing. I hear laughter to the side and freeze as I see Ren there. How come Kuon is in the coffin but Ren is standing right in front of me? This doesn't make sense._

"_Sweetheart," I reach out for him but he pulls back before looking at his dead self._

"_You caused this, you know," he tells me and I stare at him. I don't understand what is happening but the Ren who is talking to me seems to be the Ren from ten years ago when we first started dating, not Kuon who is as I saw him today. "It really is surprising that your love still isn't good enough. Your mother left you. Fuwa left you. Now you've caused me to die. I could have had a very happy life if I wasn't running after you this whole time. It's better now because you only stayed with me out of guilt."_

"_I…" I stare at him but nobody else seems to see him, they are more upset over Kuon in the casket. Have I lost my mind? "I love him. Even if I didn't feel guilty, I would be staying at his side. I love him. I love you."_

"_If you really loved me, I wouldn't be dead. You were the one who was supposed to die. Now my acting career is gone and I died disabled and helpless. You did that to me, you and your slutty na-"_

_I look down. This must be some horrible dream, he always calls me a slut in my nightmares and I have no idea why. Maybe it's because I once used to desire being considered pure and not one who would fall for love. I look at him and walk forwards and do the one thing I would do to Kuon at any times, I walk into his chest and wrap my arms around him. This time he doesn't wrap his arms around me and I look up to see that corpse of Kuon._

….

….

I look to the side as I wake up. He should be there in the bed and I should be the one in the hospital or in a graveyard. He didn't have to do anything. He could have been keeping Ana and Rose safe but instead he tried to keep us all safe. If he hadn't done anything people would have grieved for me and I don't know if he would have ever recovered from that emotional loss but he wouldn't have been hurt.

Still, I'm not continuing to fight for us because I feel that I need to and that I'm responsible for what happened to him. I want him with me. I want to help him recover but even if he never does. Even if he stops getting better at some point, I love him. I want to be with him. I might be a reason for his pain but I know he'd want to be there for me and nothing would stop him.

I look around. There has to be something that I can do to make him feel better, to show just how much I appreciate him being in my life. I mean, I should be thankful for that at least.

**End of Chapter Twenty Six**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Twenty Five

Kyoko minion

**AN: **Thank you, kyoko minion for your review about Saena, it made me consider her help in a future chapter


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter Twenty Seven**

"_Am I doing this right?" Kuon asks as he stands at the head of the table with the carving knife in his hands and the turkey in front of him. He smiles to the girls as they eagerly watch him, both of them are hungry. I have to admit that I'm hungry too but then my stomach is broken, it doesn't have an off switch but Kyoko has joked that my son doesn't have an on switch. _

"_You're doing fine, darling," Julie attempts to encourage him._

_There's not much of a trick to carving a turkey but Kuon has always asked if he's doing okay. He's a great father but the self-doubt is still there. He finally cuts into the turkey and gives us each a piece. Kyoko has such a strong smile on her face. I know that Thanksgiving is an American holiday and so she lets Kuon take the lead but she has expressed that being with family makes the day one of her favorite of the year._

"_Daddy?" Rose asks with a smile. "Did you cook the turkey?"_

_Kuon laughs. "No, Mommy and Grandpa did it together," he says before Rose laughs. Everyone knows that Julie and Kuon have similar skill levels in the kitchen but they both enjoy it. I can see the happiness that my son has to be helping his wife prepare food for the girls. I'm glad that he has that in his life. Kuon and Kyoko are much more attentive to their daughters than Julie and I were to him._

"_Daddy can you color with us?" Rose asks before holding up her hand. "I want to make the turkey."_

"_Sure," Kuon says as he finishes serving up the bird. Kuon would do anything for his kids. They mean the world to him and despite him constantly asking whether he's a good father, he is one of the best, most loving parents I have seen. Kyoko says that he gets that from me but I think it's all him. He definitely has a lot of love which outranks his self-doubt. I feel overjoyed with every smile Kuon has because I know that he's smiling out of love for his little girls and acceptance by the woman he loves more than anyone. _

….

…

I watch as Kuu cleans up after the Thanksgiving dinner with the girls. I know that this is what Kuon wants most right now. He wants for us to continue to spend time with the girls making sure that they have positive lasting memories. I understand that. Kuon is their father, of course he would prioritize Rose and Ana above himself but the truth is that it doesn't really feel the same without having our whole family here. Ana is sleeping on a pillow with one of her toys by her, a hot pink unicorn that I think Kyoko and Kuon said was the color of Love-Me pink.

Rose is sitting with a book and so I go over to sit down next to her. Ana has been cheerful and talkative as always but Rose has been much more distant. I guess it's the difference between a six year old and a three year old. "Hey," I smile as I come over to her and Rose puts her book down, placing it on her lap. I place a comforting hand on her back. "What are you thinking about, darling?"

Rose looks away before shaking her head. She smiles but I can still sense her sadness. "It's not fun without Mommy and Daddy," she finally tells me and I nod sadly. It is true. Last year there was a lot of fun in the house. Kuon attempted to help Kyoko make the dinner and she would keep an eye on him to make sure that he wasn't going overboard. We got to see how those two really care about their kids.

Kuon was always so energetic and excited when Kyoko and the kids were with him. He was always able to cheer them up even when they were infants. He knew the best songs, the best books, and the best games. Kuon devoted himself entirely to trying to be a good father and despite how he would always say he was lacking in those areas, he was an amazing father. Without him here it seems empty and wrong but this isn't about me. This is about Rose.

"I miss Daddy," Rose whispers and I look at her sympathetically. I know. I miss seeing Kuon the way he once was as well and even though I know that he'll fight to get to that point again, it's not as if he's here right now and that is what the girls need. As hard as it is for me to accept that my son has changed dramatically because of his injuries, a child doesn't really understand everything that might be happening to their parent.

"Daddy is….Daddy got really hurt. He is different but he loves you just the same as he always has. Rose, your father loves you so so much. He loves you and Ana and Mommy with everything inside of him. He is so happy to be with you guys." I sit down next to Rose and she immediately snuggles in closer to me. I would hate for Kuon to have them push him away for being different but it could easily happen if these moments aren't handled skilfully enough. "Rose, have your parents ever told you about death?"

"Yeah," Rose nods and I see the sad expression on her face. "Daddy did when the bird wasn't moving and then when we watched the Disney movies with Simba's daddy." I see tears in Rose's eyes and I hug her close.

"Well, you know how Mufasa," I pause, I think that's the name of the lion the kids have seen that movie so many times and so did Kuon, I've always been more into the princess movies like Kyoko. Sleeping Beauty is one of my personal favorites. "He wanted to protect Simba right, from the buffalo?"

"Wilderbeast, grandma" Rose tries to correct me and I smile with a weak laugh.

"Yes, and so he managed to get a hold of Simba and he saved him but then -"

"Then Scar went 'Long live the king' and threw him off the cliff," Rose announces as she acts it out a little and I smile. She is having fun despite this situation being so serious.

"Well, a similar thing happened to Daddy. Daddy saw that Mommy was in trouble, just like Simba's daddy saw that Simba needed help so he risked his own life to help but then he got hurt because someone else interfered and Daddy nearly died like Simba's daddy did when he wasn't moving," I try to explain but Rose begins to cry and hides her face in my shirt. She sobs painfully and I pick her up, seating her on my lap, and carefully wrapping my arms around her.

"I remember Daddy's body was limp like a doll's and he had too much blood and he wasn't moving and the ambulance came and Grandpa and the police and everyone came and Mommy was crying and Daddy looked just like Simba's daddy when he died but Simba's daddy never got better he just disappeared." Rose sobs and curls herself up into a ball, I grab a blanket and wrap it around us. "I was so scared but then Daddy got better but he was still really hurt."

"That's because your daddy doesn't want to leave you guys," I tell them. I wrap my arms around Rose even closer. "Daddy is fighting his hardest so that you guys can be together, so that you and Ana and Mommy and Daddy are all together. He's having a lot of trouble though but if we give him our love and wait patiently, he will hopefully get better again because your dad never will give up. Even when he was a kid like you, if he fell down, he would get up again because he wanted to play in the sky."

Rose sighs and then bows her head, curling closer to me. "What about true love's kiss? What about if Mommy heals him with true love?"

"I'm sure your mother has tried that," I attempt to joke but meet Rose's confused expression. "Some healing magic requires extra time." I try to explain and Rose sighs but I feel as if she can understand that explanation and I do hate to admit it but I miss Kuon as well. He's very different from my energetic son but I'm not going to abandon him because of a brain injury. I just know how much time it'll take to get used to his new limitations.

…

….

I know that Kuon feels guilty for pulling me away from the girls again but I'm just hoping that as he heals, we'll be able to celebrate these holidays next year. I don't want him to feel lonely because he can't participate in them like he could last year. I put my hand on his shoulder and kiss his cheek. "Do you feel comfortable about coming home at the end of next week?" I ask and Kuon looks to the side. "The president and Father managed to hire some security around the house and we'll have the doctor coming every morning."

Kuon looks in front of him before picking up the plush turkey that the girls picked out for him. He also looks at the drawings that each of the girls made him and he gets silent again. I know he's most likely thinking about how it'll be with the girls. He doesn't really speak and I don't know what's happened with his muscles apparently it's harder to move them but he does have the ability to move them.

The doctors have also suggested for him to start wearing glasses and I think that look is going to be so cute on him. He turns to me before shaking his head and looking forward.

"What?" I ask as I lean down next to him. If Kuon comes home next week, at least he'll be there for Christmas Eve and my birthday. He'll be there for our wedding anniversary in January. He'll be there for his own birthday. We're going to have to not put too much emphasis into the celebrations but at least he'll be there.

"I…'brass" he says before tapping the pictures. I know that he speaks much differently than before and tends to slur his words but that has absolutely nothing to do with this idea that the girls won't be able to accept him as he is now.

"I don't think that you embarrass our daughters," I tell him gently, speaking slow enough to give him comfort without his brain working harder to catch onto my words. "They are young, Kuon. They don't really understand. I promise you they want their Daddy."

Kuon shakes his head and I frown. How can he question that? He's always been such a great father to them and they love him. I know there's been this forced separation between them because of the injuries he's sustained but he's improved so much. The doctors didn't think he'd wake up but he woke up only a couple of days after they said that. They said he wouldn't be able to communicate with us or that they had to operate on his throat. He's speaking well enough that I can understand him. Maybe it's slurred. Maybe his voice sounds much different. He's still speaking to me and we're having a conversation. He could have wound up in a vegetative state.

"W'er….hi" Kuon says before sighing and looking away again.

Where is their father? I know that he's changed because of the injuries but under the surface and ignoring the injuries and his new disabilities, he's the same Kuon. He's still their sweet father who is always doing his best. He's still the man who would go the extra mile just to prove how much he loves me. I grab his hand in mine.

"You are still their daddy," I try to convince him. "You are still the son of Kuu and Julie. You are still my husband. You just need to heal, you'll recover slowly but we can be patient. You're Kuon Hizuri and I love you." I hear a knock on the hospital door and look back imagining it to be Shotaro on the other side. I freeze. No. He can't come here. Please lock him up. Kuon needs to heal.

I stand and squeeze Kuon's hand once again before making my way to the door. I cautiously open it to see the doctor and see the professional way he's standing.

"Kuon has guests," the doctor says and I nod. If it was Kuu and Julie they would have been allowed in right away. They are family and I can imagine them visiting but someone needs my approval to see him. Hopefully it's not Kanae. I can't deal with seeing Moko again right now and I don't want her to comment on Kuon's condition and make him feel worse.

The doctor leads me a few steps from Kuon's room and I see a member of security step closer to the closed door. As the doctor takes me to the seats I start to tear up and as one of the men stand, I rush into his arms and sob. I can't help it. The president and Yashiro, both family friends and almost family themselves are sat there. After Yashiro has hugged me, I bow to the president.

"Yes," I nod with a weak smile. "I'll allow them to visit."

"Maria wants to visit too," the president says to me and I nod weakly. Maria is now a teenager and although she still loves the occult, she would never be mean to Kuon. "She's with her father right now celebrating the holiday. I could bring her by tomorrow."

I nod. These people are support and I know they would never hurt or tease Kuon when he might break from it.

**End of Chapter Twenty Seven**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**


	28. Chapter 28

**AN: **Wow, when I was writing the last part Kyoko's, I could see her as a hugely different Kyoko but I could also see the small steps to get her to be this type of Kyoko (more mirrored on the Dark Moon and Heel siblings arcs then the current one. Anyway hope you enjoy and hope that didn't sound _too_ arrogant.

**Chapter Twenty Eight**

It is so hard to see him struggling. As president of LME, I always had at least a little bit of a say in how his life would go and as the man who 'rescued him' from the pits of his depression and his grief over the untimely death of his best friend, he's listened to me in personal matters as well as those on a professional level. I didn't think that he would be here for. I knew that there was a chance of him getting hit by a vehicle one day but then I didn't factor in the part where he recovered only for someone attempting to murder him. I hate seeing him struggling but it could have been a lot worse.

If you looked at him, you would know he obviously got involved in some tragic events. There are cuts on his face and marks, scars, half of his hair has been shaved off in order to have treatment to his head. If there are scars on the top of his head then his hair might never grow back and all of this from such a promising actor.

"Hey," Yashiro says as he approaches Kuon who gives him a weak smile and nod. "Happy Thanksgiving. I hope it's okay that we dropped by." Kuon nods before looking at me. I don't know why he's giving me this look as if he's fearing my disapproval. The poor kid got smashed over the head with a baseball bat. I'm just relieved to see that he's alive.

"H-Ha-Ha—" Kuon nods and my face softens as I see the pain that he's going through. No wonder Kuu has sounded lost every time that I talked to him recently. I see Kyoko wrap her arms around him and she kisses his cheek lovingly. I'm so proud of the progress that I've seen from her. She used to wage war against Vain Day and now she knows that just the right kiss or right touch is going to work wonders.

"You feeling better?" Yashiro asks in a friendly manner and Kuon nods shakily before looking up at me. Again I don't know what to say. I don't know how to help him but I'm just very glad to see that he's doing okay.

"I'm glad you're alive, Kuon," I tell him and he nods with a smile.

"Kuon has been said to have progressed at an amazing rate," Kyoko says to me and I have to laugh at the fact that Kyoko has become such a nurturing and loving wife and her sixteen-year-old self might never be comfortable with seeing the way she is now. Maybe nobody else finds this humorous but the two of them know that their kids and their family is most important. "I'm so proud to be your wife," she tells him.

"The fact that you're moving around at all and able to follow conversation and communicate seems like a miracle," I add in and they all look at me. I see that both Yashiro and Kyoko have a support for Kuon and an excitement that after someone has attempted to kill him that he's still fighting. Kuon though still seems a little scared and insecure. "Don't worry, we'll be able to get this man arrested and your parents might even push for the death penalty," I try to tell him and see Kuon's eyes widen at me as I finish saying that.

…

….

I understand what they are saying although I hate it. The doctors are saying that I have strong improvements because I am able to function at a somewhat below average level. It's not something that I'm proud of but those words weren't what I was hoping for. The death penalty? No. I don't want even Fuwa to get the death penalty.

"De'alty?" I ask quickly before putting my hand to my forehead and Kyoko puts her hand to my chest. She knows I've just stressed myself out but how can I not feel stressed when they are telling me that because of me Fuwa might have lost his life. I agree that there is a purpose for him to be behind bars but not death. I shake my head horrified by that image.

"Sweetheart," Kyoko says nervously and takes hold of my hand. "It's okay. We can make sure that _he_ doesn't get _that._" I feel the buzz in my head but I don't want to feel powerless. I don't want to embarrass myself in front of other people. I can see the way they are looking at me and I feel that everything is turning fuzzy. I feel the stress as if it's building inside of me ready to rip out of me.

I don't know how I look on the outside but it's like my brain is melting and my body is shaking but not from a seizure. I remember begging for my life to be spared. I remember begging Fuwa and I remember the intense fear and chaos and feeling so small and helpless and…and my head is ringing and it's buzzing and I don't know what's happening but something is -

….

….

I wake up to the smell of some cleaning solution somewhere and the light has changed. I pause, it's nearly the end of the day? All I can remember is Boss and Yashiro coming in and then something made me panic and I feel something on my arm, something to test my blood pressure. I look up at the darkened room. Did I just lose consciousness again?

"I'm sorry, Corn," Kyoko apologizes as she holds my hand. I just wish that she'd take some time for herself and not apologize any longer, _I'm_ the one who keeps messing everything up. I take some deep breaths in and out to calm myself and feel that the respiratory mask is still on. I've messed things up again. "I'm sorry. I thought seeing some familiar faces would help. Maybe we should consider you staying for a little longer at the hospital?"

I pause and pull my hand away from her, she looks up in a mix between shock and exhaustion. I don't trust her. She's only here because she thinks that she should be here. When she didn't know I was Corn and before Dark Moon started shooting, she only looked at me as her senior actor from the same agency. She didn't truly do things out of love but out of responsibility. That's what today has been. That's what everything from the date of the accident has been. She's doing this all out of her feeling of duty and of finishing a task through to the end.

I feel tears in my eyes and I don't want to show them to her. She never really loved me after the accident happened, how could she when I'm someone so different from the man that she married? I close my eyes and let myself sob into the pillow. I don't want her here. I don't want the girls here. I let all of them down. I shouldn't be here. I should have died saving my wife. Why am I here?

"Kuon," Kyoko says slowly as she puts a hand to my shoulder, I shrug her hand off and so she places it on my arm, I manage to remove it and she gets the idea to not touch me right now. "Honey, you didn't do anything wrong? No one is taking it badly that you got stressed. You're in the hospital, Corn. I know you don't like it but people take care of _you_ here and if you feel stressed or overwhelmed then we take it slower. They both told me that they just want you to get better and you can call them whenever you feel ready."

That's what she would say if she was in her work mode. She would want to see things done to the end. She would want for the guest to feel comfortable even if she just goes and talks about 'the guest' behind their back right after the scene ends. I've messed everything up. I shouldn't have believed that I could be happy after the accident. I'm such an idiot.

"Kuon, can you look at me, sweetheart?" she asks as she comes to face me and I place my head in the pillow before shaking it. "Listen, whatever happens with the trial and the case, you do get your say in it and if you want them to be merciful then…then we can work towards forgiveness."

I shake my head. I just want her to leave me alone. She tries to push my hair back and I grab her wrist in my hand before stopping. Part of me wants to throw her out but I don't want to even risk harming her.

"Go ho'" I whisper once I've lifted the mask off. I sigh. I meant to say home, hopefully she understands that.

…

…

Something has upset him. I know that much. I know that he is having trouble finding the right words to say but I wish I knew how to make it right. I know that Kuon doesn't like death even deaths of those he feels wronged him. Apparently until he was about thirteen or fourteen, Kuon didn't want to use much violence apart from when he was training and then he just followed what his martial arts teacher and Kuu-sama said and not to use fighting moves without needing to. And then he had been attacked and bullied so Rick had taught him how to go on the offense and make yourself heard and from what I've been hearing from Kuu and Julie, Rick wasn't the nicest of guys despite how Kuon idolized him. I can't imagine the ten-year-old Corn ever sentencing anyone to death even for pretend.

Is that it? Does Kuon have some strange type of guilt about what happens to Shotaro? I'm sure that we can make it understood that we don't want to seek out the death penalty and they most likely won't give it to him anyway. Imprisonment though, that's a given. He should be behind bars like an animal, that's what I want and Kuon shouldn't feel guilty for that.

I know that he said, go home, instead of go ho. I'm not misguided enough to think he said something like that. It still hurts though that I can't comfort him especially since he had an attack, a new kind of very scary seizure. I look at him and sigh. "Kuon, do you really want me to go back home?" I ask. I want to stay all day if I can but he nods and I walk over to him. I don't want to keep him in the hospital but he needs to be safe.

"I'll be back tomorrow, okay?" I ask as I touch his shoulder, his head is still in the pillow. "Okay? Tomorrow?"

He shakes his head again and I know he just wants to be alone right now and I absolutely hate to do it. I watch him and then kiss his head, tucking him in. He seems to struggle against it but I just don't want to leave him upset and cold and lonely. I kiss the back of his head since he won't raise his head to look at me.

"I love you, Kuon. Remember, if you want me to come back get them to call me. I love you," I whisper. He doesn't say it back so I just have to hope that he's thinking it. I grab my bag and position myself to walk out with a neutral expression on my face. I can deflect any of the gossip that's coming in on me and turn it against them like my amazing sempai taught me how to do. I just want for him to feel better and whatever happened today, I want to make sure that it never happens again.

**End of Chapter Twenty Eight**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thank you to the reviewer of Chapter Twenty Seven

Kaname671


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter Twenty Nine**

I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I feel alone again and that's okay. The girls have asked me how their dad is doing and told me all about their Thanksgiving with Kuu and Julie and I'm glad that they are so happy but when I think about Kuon, it makes me feel nervous and scared. He's isolating himself again and I've lived with him doing that when things get really bad but he's not supposed to be isolating himself right now. He needs help and comfort and people around him who only want to see him recover.

I thought that I was the biggest supporter that he had. As I look at the television I smile as I see that a movie from a couple of years is on. It's one of those action movies and Kuon actually was the part of the villain. He was sick and twisted and psychopathic and everyone loved it. This was what really managed to secure his foothold in American acting.

I look at all of the medical equipment and pills and other things that he has to have now but it doesn't bother me. I still see him as the same person. Kuon had a successful run as an actor and whether he's in permanent or temporary retirement, he is still him and I'm not looking for any kind of medal or acknowledgment. I just want to be with him and share the bed with him and not feel the loneliness of him not being here with me.

I don't know what happened today but maybe he's starting to move onto one of the other stages of grief, they did tell me it was possible and he had been doing so well that he would be sure to have some emotional problems, especially this second time. So, the five stages of grief. Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance.

I don't even know where to start. The Kuon that I saw today was more upset than angry and I'm not sure how to measure his denial when he's having trouble speaking. I hate that he feels he has to overcome it and do it so quickly. I just want him to be safe even if it's a slower recovery process. I grab onto the sheep, the older one that I bought him when we were acting together in Dark Moon and I hug tightly to it. I only want to be with him and the girls. Nothing else matters. I want my loved ones to be with me again.

"Kuon, tell me what I can do to help you. Don't shut me out again." I whisper as I turn to the sheep acting as if it has the answers. The love I have for Kuon is like a light inside me but sometimes I still feel like that small inexperienced girl who is only guessing at what to do in a relationship. I wish that you would guide me, Kuon.

….

…..

_I finish zipping up my dress that I will be wearing today, it's a cute outfit that Father and Julie got for me, when I hear a loud crash in the bathroom. I pause as I hear multiple things fall down and then that very attractive voice. "Damn it" he curses and I look up. Did something happen? "Sweetheart?" I ask him as I come over to him. "Are you okay?" I open the door and see him standing with his hands flat on the counter leaning over his sink. I come over to him and put my hand on his upper arm. "Kuon?"_

"_Am I ready for this?" he asks me and it takes me a moment to really think about what he might be asking me. Okay. Today. Today is the first time he's going to be working with someone who is called one of the best directors in Hollywood. This is the first day he'll be shooting in front of him. He's not really worried about that is he._

"_Kuon, you are the most amazing actor that I know. You are more ready than anyone else for this role. Just be yourself and everyone will be impressed. You've always impressed me," I smile to him. He laughs and pulls me close, wrapping me tightly in his arms as we stand in front of the mirror. He kisses the top of my head._

"_I always perform better knowing my princess supports me," he jokes but he's still judging himself._

"_Kuon, you've acted for years and Japan still considers you one of the best celebrities that got their careers started in Japan. You're going to be amazing. I know it," I tell him and he looks down before taking a slow breath._

"_Even my dad hasn't worked with him before," Kuon admits and I turn to him so I can look into those gorgeous and inescapable emerald eyes._

"_Then you'll be the first Hizuri to have acted for him. I know you'll be amazing," I grin to him and he kisses my forehead again before we hear the wailing of a baby. "I'll go check on her. You just remember that you are my favorite actor and I will always be excited to see your work. You'll be your amazing self. Just, be…Kuon. Kuon has achieved this and you should know that everyone thinks you deserve this."_

…

…

"It's a shame, really." I hear a woman's voice as I wake up and feel someone tugging at me. I cling to the blankets wondering what the hell is going on and I blink up at a doctor who I wasn't assigned to. That's fine. The doctors are so busy at this hospital because of its high ratings, that everyone is well-trained and sometimes cover for one another. I've never met this woman before and I realize now that I've probably wet myself and look disgusting and that there are numerous other judgements you could make.

I look at her as she gives up on moving me from the bed. I open my mouth to ask her what she's talking about but she presses her hand upon the mask and holds it down so I can't take it off.

"I mean, did you know that one out of every ten couples stays married when there has been a traumatic brain injury," she tells me and I pause. I can understand that. I don't know why Kyoko would want to continue to be married to me other than the feeling that she needs to do her duty as someone who promised to be my wife. "I mean, you probably spent a lot of time out on dates with your wife, romantic restaurants, dancing, doing things that she enjoyed and you won't get to do those things with her. I bet for you, she was excited whenever she saw your name on the opening credits but you can't work at least for a while, it would be someone else's name, now."

I nod as I feel scared about that. Someone else is going to be working the roles which I was offered and excited to accept, even ideas that are being workshopped right now won't have parts that I'll be ready to play. It will take me years before I can even think of restarting my acting career. As for being out in public, we know how that turned out the last time.

Still, maybe there are -

"Your wife fell in love with you because you are smart as well as sexy. You're a brave soul, Mr. Hizuri, but without having the abilities that you once did you aren't able to act on that bravery. Without your words you won't be able to express even your thoughts. You have as much use as a potat-"

"What the hell!?" I hear Kyoko at the doorway but I don't want to pay her attention. Maybe these things shouldn't have been said but finally someone is being honest with me. I don't have the ability to act brave or even voice my opinions. I have a back seat in my life and being married to Kyoko is selfish. I know that she doesn't want to hurt me so she won't suggest our getting divorced but maybe I can make her see that it might be in her best interests. "Are you really a doctor or are -"

I reach out and grab Kyoko's wrist, she tries to pull it away to take my hand and squeeze it. I know in her mind she thinks I'm asking for her support but I just need to wait and listen and stop what she's doing.

"I'm only telling him the truth," the doctor tells her and Kyoko stares at her suspiciously. It's true though. She's a doctor, she knows more than we both do. "Most marriages end as soon as the injured party gets hurt. The people who tend to stay married the longest are those that are only doing this out of obligation for a lost love."

"Lost love?" Kyoko laughs back at her and I'm feeling extremely nervous about what her action could be. She turns to look back at me before nodding. "You very obviously know very little about my husband and I. Our relationship is the _best_ thing that has ever happened to me. Kuon is hurt right now but that doesn't change a thing." She turns to me and sees the way I'm looking at her. I'm confused. I could believe that she's doing this out of obligation after all I _am _so different from the person she married.

"Sweetheart," she whispers as she comes over to me, she holds my hand in hers and crouches down so that we're at eye level. "Please believe me. Maybe when I first was getting to know Ren Tsuruga, things were done because I wanted to get praised and acknowledged but we've spent so many years together. I love you." She turns to glare back at the doctor. I don't know how to feel. She seems honest but I've got a lot of problems, is she forgetting that? Is she forgetting how much I need to be taken care of? Even if she doesn't understand her true feelings right now that doesn't mean that she won't wake up tomorrow and realize what has happened.

"You married a man who had a bright career in front of him, who was very capable physically, who didn't have scars on his face, who didn't have any proble-" the doctor is harsh but at least they are correct. Saying these things is going to make her face the truth. I look at her and realize that that dark energy she hasn't had for a long time is pretty much taking over the whole room. She kisses me quickly before standing up and walking over to the doctor.

"Get the hell out," she whispers in a dark manner. "My husband still has an amazing life waiting for him. He might have disabilities right now but isn't it a doctor's job to help people like Kuon feel better. He's trying to recover, maybe he's not as physically able as before but that's why I'm here. Yes, maybe he has scars and injuries but we've both been told that when he recovers from other injuries he can have plastic surgery if he wants. The only problem that he seems to have is you so get the hell away from him. I'm not going to let anyone hurt him even someone in the medical field. I love my husband. I want to do whatever I need to do to help my husband and I _want_ to do that not out of self-satisfaction but because I love him."

Kyoko manages to get the doctor to leave before turning back to me. I don't know how to feel. Before I would have thought that she did all of this out of love but could she still love me enough to do this?

**End of Chapter Twenty Nine**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thank you to Kaname671 for reviewing Chapter Twenty Eight


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter Thirty**

I'm scared to leave him again. Kuon…Corn, his thoughts have always been so different from other people. Maybe that's one of the reasons why I love him so much because he's understanding and yet he's one of a kind as well. There is nobody who has his exact qualities. Still, he is probably the most complicated man that I have ever met and his current opinion on life isn't reassuring to me at all.

The idea that I am staying by his side because I feel indebted to him. I don't like that idea. It's not true at all. I don't want to be angry at him for considering lines that other people are maliciously feeding to him but is that all he sees us as. Yes. This is a new version of Kuon but it's not as if he can magically snap back into who he was without time to recover and I do love him unconditionally. I don't know why he's doubting that.

I go down to the front desk and slam my hands down. I feel that rush of anger and determination sweep through my body as I look at the receptionist. "I need to talk to one of the heads of the hospital about malpractice treatment," I tell her. The receptionist opens her mouth to argue with me but I know when I have that sharp look of a fighter in my eyes that people respond to it.

"Can I ask what this is referring to?" she asks nervously and I turn to the side with a bitter laugh.

"The doctor that was just with my husband telling him that I don't love him and that we're going to get divorced and more than that, insulting him and telling him he has no chance of a bright future. My husband is in a lot of pain. He doesn't need to feel any worse."

I feel my breath catch in my chest. Kuon is here because someone attempted to murder him. He's upset because he faces more disabilities than from his first accident. There was less than a one percent chance of him surviving two traumatic brain injuries in the same place and now someone is playing around with his mind. I won't let them hurt him by twisting his mind.

"_Are_ you going to divorce him?" the receptionist asks and I look at her, my eyes narrowing at being asked such a question even though she has told her superior that I need to speak with him.

"On the day when hell freezes over is when I will divorce him," I tell her in a voice that could freeze anyone out but it's true. I will not divorce Kuon. I love him. She can make whatever judgments she wants about that but it doesn't erase just how deep my love for him is.

…..

….

_I blush as I see him with the girls. I'm not sure if that's the right reaction when he just so happens to be your husband but I'm excited by what I'm about to give him. Each day he tries to do something special for all of us. He gives me so many presents and even his chocolates and flowers are more than the regular kind most people would pick up. Everything is special and has a secret meaning to it._

"_Kuon," I say as I approach him. Rose has a book about flowers and I can tell that Kuon was telling them what he knows about flowers. He has a lot of knowledge about everything but his joy and love of nature isn't something that everyone knows about. "I want to give you something."_

"_Hmm?" he asks as he looks at me. "Why?" he smiles happily and I'm caught by those amazing emerald eyes. He's so adorable and his smile, his smile always makes me o happy. "You have a gift? For me?" he points to himself and I want to gently hit him._

"_Who else would I have a gift for?" I ask him and he laughs. I pull out a box before freezing. I only now realize that what I've done might not be for the best. Although he still has that watch, he doesn't wear it anymore but maybe I'm imposing. _

_Kuon opens the box to see a leather band that is supposed to go around a guy's wrist. I designed it for him and it has different stones peeking out so you can only look at it close up. I smile as he studies it and immediately puts it around his wrist._

"_It's to keep you safe and grounded and protected," I make an attempt to explain and he smiles. The girls crowd around him to look at the gift and he grins to me. _

"_Thank you," he says with a huge grin, "I love it." _

…..

…..

I finish cooking the food for the girls and a separate soup recipe that Kuon's doctors gave me the recipe to. I'm really glad that I finally get to have him at home with myself and the girls. I think he might recover a little faster being around people who love him so much. He recovered quickly before. Still, I hate how he is isolating himself. He wouldn't even let me snuggle with him in the bed last night and until I offered to sleep in another room, stayed in his wheelchair.

"Girls, the food is on the table so wash your hands and then you can eat!" I call out and hear Ana and Rose go to the bathroom sink. I then serve up a small but decently sized portion of the soup and put it onto the tray. Hopefully it's not too hot.

I walk into Kuon's office where he's spending more time and see him in front of the TV. I want to switch it off because I'm worried about him having a seizure from too much activity. However, the doctors and therapists have each told me that I need to give him some independence for his emotional recovery as well.

I smile as I come to the side of him and place the soup down on the desk next to him. "Hi, sweetheart," I whisper as I crouch down next to him. "I brought you something to eat. Please just eat as much as you are able," I attempt to smile but he glares at me. He's been glaring at me a lot recently and it scares me. Before we fell in love with each other, when I was just a newbie at LME, those glares had seemed to come often. How should I treat them knowing it's been almost twelve years since they were there.

"I'll leave you alone," I whisper wanting to throw my arms around him and hug him and promise him that everything will be okay. I turn to go out of the door and he grabs my wrist preventing me from leaving. "Corn, is there anything -"

Corn takes the remote for the TV and puts it back to a saved point. He's showing me something? I turn and stare at the TV as he hits play. What did he want to show me?

….

"It would seem that when these people, these victims of their traumatic brain injuries return home they are often a burden on their families. It's not only that their medical needs have to be addressed but their spouse often falls out of love with them. It's then walking a fine line between keeping face whilst doing what is expected of them and what they feel is right or terminating their relationship when they realize that they no longer love the victim of the injury," a man says.

….

I stare at Kuon wanting to break the television but I won't. I need to control my anger. I'm not a sixteen-year-old who can throw tantrums any longer. I also want to slap Kuon but he's just come out of the hospital yesterday.

"You even trust _them _over me," I think aloud out of exhaustion but Kuon turns to me. He looks away and I frown. I want to break something out of this deep frustration. "Do you think that I'm just some stupid girl who admits to love easily?" I ask before taking the remote and turning off the TV. I move the soup to the side so it won't spill.

"Do you hate yourself that much?" I ask knowing that there are tears in my eyes. He looks at me guiltily. I know he is just trying to convince me of something that is in his head but isn't actually real. His plan isn't actually to hurt me or my feelings. "Corn," I whisper as I bow my head. "Listen to me. I love you. I don't know how else to convince you of that but in hypothetical terms, if I was the one who had been hit and I had a brain injury and I needed help and to be taken care of, would you leave me?"

He bows his head and shakes it. It's a relief to me but it's not the end of this conversation. "Listen. I understand how you feel because I know how critical you are on yourself." I put my hand to his cheek and he doesn't suddenly turn. Instead I see the fear in his eyes as he holds it to him. "I'm looking forward to us overcoming this together but I'm more excited to be with you and the girls and celebrate Christmas."

….

….

I sigh. I'm being really unfair to her. If she was in my situation and had to go through the same difficulties that I'm going through, I would be over protective and I would want to help her and I would blame myself, yes, but I wouldn't blame her or criticize her, I'd just want to make sure that nobody could hurt her. I should trust Kyoko to feel the same.

"Sor…" I manage to get out, slurring it at the end and she leans up to kiss my lips before grinning and sitting back.

"Corn. I'm not like those other women, the ones who run as soon as trouble comes," she tries to tell me and I know, she's unique and that's one of the things that I love her for. She is independent and able to live without a man but she chooses to be with me. She can understand the weaknesses that I'm not comfortable showing to other people and that includes my slurred speech.

"K'oko," I manage to garble out and Kyoko turns to me. I hate hearing my voice especially with how different it is but Kyoko has never made fun of me. I feel like anyone has a right to make fun of me for how I sound but she just waits patiently with the same understanding that my parents have. Only two people look at me with this patience and understanding, Kyoko and Dad. Mom is too over-protective to give me space. "Yo…bir'ay" I try to tell her but it comes out as a garbled mess.

"Forget about my birthday," Kyoko tells me before accidentally switching the TV on. We both see a news report and I start to feel those cold chills again, that panic, that want for things to be over. "Kuon?" I see his face despite this being a news show and I start shaking. I want it off. I never want to see his face again. Kyoko turns the TV off again and wraps her arms around me not saying anything about the fear that I'm feeling. She just understands.

**End of Chapter Thirty**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thank you to Kaname671 for their review of Chapter Twenty Nine


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter Thirty One**

I turn to Kuon as I finally get to wake up next to him. I don't want to do anything to surprise him or make him push me away again. That was the third night that he's been home and the first night in which we've slept in the same bed and I've been able to reach out and touch him whilst he sleeps. I gently push my hand over where his hair is already starting to grow back. I didn't think that hair grew back over scars.

The doctors have told me that there is a chance that his hair won't come back as it did before. It might not be the luscious soft strands that I've always loved, it might be shorter and scratchier and they may not be that rich gold that only he has but something of a light brown or even medium brown. He could physically look like an emerald-eyed Ren but the tiny spikes of hair seem not too dark and looks don't matter.

Kuon blinks up at me and I pull back. I don't want him to be annoyed at my touching him without his permission. I put my hand to the side and get up from the bed. "Good morning," I tell him delicately before avoiding eye contact with him. It would break my heart if he suddenly turned to me with a glare.

He looks at me sadly, guilt in his eyes and I want to tell him that there is nothing wrong and tell him that I love him but I'm not sure how he'd even react to that. Would he consider it as me being clingy? I pick up the shirt that he was wearing the night before and fold it to put it in the laundry, I place it to my heart before sighing. I never wanted to turn into one of those stupid girls but Kuon is worth it.

"K'oko?" he asks in that slightly slurred manner he's been speaking with. The doctors say that he'll get his voice back as he recovers and really, I'm just happy hearing him making the attempt to talk. I turn with a smile and nod. "I—I—III" he struggles and I watch him feeling a lot of pain in the way that he's having difficulty. I get down beside him as he sits up in the bed and take hold of one of his hands with both of mine.

I kiss his shoulder a few times, letting my head rest on his shoulder. I don't want to rush him but he has difficulty now with even the simplest words. He hasn't pushed me away though, that's good.

"Sor—" he says before I see him mentally kick himself for not completing the word and struggling with the sentence. Still, the doctors had believed that he wouldn't be talking at all.

"I know," I whisper as I let my hand cup his cheek and kiss his lips. "I know, Corn," I repeat. I know him better than anybody, sometimes I know him better than he knows himself. "I don't blame you for any of this." I hate how self-critical he's being. He just needs to know that most of this is temporary and in a year or so he'll be better than he is today and a year following that he'll be better than he will be in a year. It's all about improvement and it's better than him being dead at Rose's school.

Kuon sighs before looking across at the wheelchair. He attempts to shift himself over and I'm not sure whether to help him or just sit and watch. No. Sitting and watching is going to feel weird to me. I walk over to him and hold the chair. He reaches up and takes my offered hand getting to the chair and smiles his gratitude to me without saying anything.

"I'll make some breakfast for us," I tell him lovingly. Hopefully we'll be able to talk a little soon and I know that he might need some help in the bathroom today. I don't want him to find difficulty with it again. Kuon rolls himself out after grabbing a blanket to put over his lap so the girls don't find out his secret and I see that Rose is already playing with the TV.

"Honey," I say as I come over to her and see that she's completely absorbed by the show that she's watching, "Let's wait for after breakfast to watch th-"

Kuon looks up at me and then at the TV where the characters from Sesame Street are talking about the letters Q and U. I'm a little confused but I also see that spark in his eyes as he wheels himself to the TV. I don't know what to say about it but Rose smiles as he comes to join her.

"If you add Q and U together you can make a lot of words," the guest singer says to Big Bird and I freeze as I see them list off some of the words but what surprises me more is that Kuon is trying to secretly mouth along with the words. I blink. He's actually engaging in this? I know he doesn't have the mind of a child but I haven't seen this type of positive engagement in an activity for some time.

"Actually why don't we watch together, just for today," I tell them with a smile. I can't believe that he's having such a positive reaction to this. It's adorable. Plus, he's spending time with Rose so as long as he lets me know if his head hurts it will be okay. We both need this.

…

…

_As I come back from the fashion show I expect for Kuon and Rose to be asleep. It's quite late and I feel bad that my work kept me away for so long. As I come into the house though I am surprised at what I'm seeing. Rose is sitting in her high chair in the kitchen and Kuon's hiding behind the table with a Bo puppet that we got from the show before I retired. _

"_Now, I think it's time for us to get some sleep," Kuon says putting on the voice that I gave to Bo, Ren Tsuruga's greatest confidant, "However, don't you think there's time for just one more dance," he says and I realize that he's been doing all of this to get Rose back to sleep. He's such a good dad and this just shows another one of his sacrifices. _

"_This is our special dance," I roll my eyes as he starts to jiggle the puppet and move his fingers so Bo is moving his wings and I just watch how adorable this is. "It's the special tentekomai dance," he tells her and I can't help but burst out laughing. I turn to quiet my laugh so as not to wake up Rose even more._

_Did he seriously create a tentekomai dance? _

….

….

It's the fourth day in a row that he's watched Sesame Street with the girls. I know that he loves spending time with them but I think he enjoys it too. When I mentioned him watching with the girls to one of the doctors they said it was a great idea. Many foreigners learned English watching this show and so if Kuon takes comfort in it and it helps him rebuild his speech development then it's best to just let him watch it. It's not as if it's harming anyone.

Today we have a guest. Since Thanksgiving we haven't really seen much of anyone because of the way that Kuon felt embarrassed about how he had acted when he had been stressed. Today Father is going to come round because he wants to talk to me about the case. I want to involve Kuon in what happens but I'm not sure that he's ready. That made me sound like a witch didn't it?

There's a knock on the door and I go to get it, the security guards would have alerted me if it was someone else. As I open the door, I find it hard not to throw my arms around the man opposite me. "Father," I smile before stepping back. "Kuon and the girls are in the living room," I tell him before I grab his upper arm. "And…don't…"

"Don't what?" Kuu asks as he looks at me concerned. "I'm just happy to see my family, my daughter, my son, and my granddaughters."

"Kuon feels a little embarrassed by how much he loves watching Sesame Street," I warn Kuu and he blinks confused. I shake my head. "He's watching _for_ the girls but I think he knows how helpful it is to him but don't tease him about it, he's still insecure."

Father turns to me, he still looks a little confused and I'm expecting a dozen questions about it that I won't have any way of answering. He instead smiles, "I won't tease him about it. If it's helping my son then I'm really happy that there's something that is doing that. Kuon is my son, Kyoko. I only want what will help him."

I sigh before looking down and close my eyes, I don't want to trouble Father but it's as if I don't have a way of stopping myself from speaking. "I was worried that he hated me. For a while he seemed convinced I didn't love him. We both know that Kuon is looking at this from the wrong angle but he's starting to heal and I don't care if that's because of medicine or watching Elmo sing a song. He's healing and not going backwards and that's most important to me."

"Anything that helps Kuon is important to me too," Father says and I nod before gesturing for him to go and see our family.

…

…

"Cookie." "Cabbage" "Car" "Cat" I mouth along with the words as they say it slowly and put a picture up with it. I somehow can't voice these words out loud but my mouth is getting to be familiar with the movements again. The therapist said that's a step in the right direction. I hold Ana in my arms as she sleeps on my lap. I smile. I've taken to choosing to swear sweats and a hoody because it's more comfortable, besides who is going to even be looking at me inside the house?

"Granddad!" Rose yells out and I pause, turning nervously and Dad smiles to me before hugging Rose and spinning her a little in his arms, very similar to how I could when I was healthy. "We were watching with Daddy!"

"I see, it's a good show, isn't it?" Dad asks and Rose nods energetically.

"I want to show you a picture!" Rose grins before running off to grab something and I nod, she's already shown me despite my not being as active or as engaged with the girls as I used to be before the accident and attempted murder.

Dad grabs a chair and pulls it towards me before putting a comforting hand on my shoulder. "How about you? Are you doing okay?" I nod weakly. I'm not perfect by any means but I'm recovering, I feel loved and connected with my family. I have to be happy with what I have and I luckily have a lot. "I've been hearing that you've been making a lot of progress but if you ever need anything from your mother or me, let us know. I'd love to just take a father-son day and relax."

I know he's trying and maybe one of those days would be good for both of us but I'm not that exciting any longer. I don't know if we could do something that wouldn't bore him after half an hour of doing it. Dad looks at me and smiles before nodding.

"Trust me, we could just stay here and watch a movie. Just some time with my son would always make me happy," he tells me and I smile feeling very lucky to have a family that cares so much about me. I see Rose running back with her picture and see Dad turn to her excitedly as Ana wakes up and hugs me as she does so.

"Re''ary?" I ask Dad and frown, I still can't say my words correctly. Dad squeezes my wrist and grins, he turns to me after complimenting Rose's artwork.

"Absolutely."

**End of Chapter Thirty One**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Thirty

Kaname671, kyoko minion


	32. Chapter 32

**AN: **I plan on two flashbacks next chapter

**Chapter Thirty Two**

I hate the way that people are talking about me but they are talking more about Kuon. They are wondering about where he is, what type of illnesses he has, what his physical limitations are. It's the hottest news of the year and I'm just glad that he's at home and doesn't have to deal with any of it. I smile as I enter a shop where they are selling the latest toys. I know that I could have a personal assistant come and get me everything that the girls want but there's something else that I want to get.

As I walk down the aisles of the toy store, I pause and smile as I see a collectors edition of Sesame Street for the previous ten years, I also see the decade when Kuon was a little kid. I grab it and smile. Even if I pretend that it's for the kids and I 'accidentally' left it out at least Kuon will have something to help him when he's healing.

I look down at the list and pick up the items that Rose and Ana requested. They are both in love with Disney princesses and so that is fun for me to buy for them. Kuon has always just told me that anything I buy for him he would enjoy but I'm not going to make these DVDs his gift, these are for the family, I want to find some other things for Kuon.

After filling the cart with toys and presents, I go to queue up like a regular mother who is shopping during the holiday season. It's when I hear people talking about Kuon that I feel my body turn more rigid. I just want to ignore them. I know that he's done amazingly in his career but he needs some space and distance and respect. What makes this even worse was a role that Kuon had loved doing was that of a young crime boss and importer. It was on TV and if Kuon hadn't been hurt in the accident, he would have been filming the fourth season. It recently won a Golden Globe award but of course, he's not on that show anymore and he wasn't able to attend either this award ceremony or the Academy Awards. His not being there became a topic of conversation.

People actually are surprised at just how nice a guy Kuon is after seeing some of the roles he's played, it's like that British actor who played the Harry Potter villain. Still, he couldn't attend this show and that's making it so that nobody will side with Shotaro. I sigh as I look at the items in the cart. I know Kuon doesn't want people to know about Sesame Street but it's helping him both recover his ability to speak and he's also able to connect with the girls.

I sigh. I just want this holiday season to be magical and filled with happiness. Our family deserves a little happiness after all we've been through.

….

….

After spending money of an amount that would have made me frightened when I was a teenager, so casually, I feel glad that they will hold my items for me to pick up at the end of my trip. I did have them fawn over me a little and say they liked my designs but I'm more relieved that I get to look around for something that Kuon might like. I am disturbed by something the doctors have told me but I don't know whether to tell him yet or not. They want for him to wear some type of helmet when he goes outside because if he hits his head even accidentally before some of the healing occurs then he will most probably die. A helmet as a fashion statement is worth him being alive.

I'm walking through the mall area and I spot a designer luggage company having a sale. Maybe I don't need luggage right now, it's not like Kuon will be taking it anywhere. I can still have a look at it. I sigh, at the beginning of last year we had made a calendar of places to travel and we did take the kids one time to Japan and one time to Guam but then the accident happened and of course Kuon can't travel anymore, he wouldn't be comfortable on such a long flight.

As I'm looking at the luggage, I feel someone approach me but I don't turn. It's most likely one of Kuon's many fans or a reporter wanting to publish the details of his condition. I don't want to let her do that. As the person doesn't leave, I brace myself and turn before feeling a deep shock, I take a step back and frown unsure how to feel. "Kanae?" I ask as numerous feelings tumble around inside of me.

"I spotted you here, mo, and wanted to see how you were doing." I pause and look at her again. The last time that the two of us spent time together, she was extremely critical of the relationship that Kuon and I share. I don't want to introduce negativity to Kuon when he is healing.

"Well," I say slowly, my heart beating in my chest. "What do you want?"

She turns to me in shock. When I was a young and foolish teenager, I would treat her in a completely different way but maybe this shows the difference between how important Kuon and her are to me. She looks at me ready to argue before turning to look at the luggage again.

"Look, I was an idiot before, I said some things without thinking. I should have been more respectful towards the both of you. It's obvious that you love him and obvious, mo, that I haven't experienced that. I wanted to reestablish our friendship. I've been worried about you," Kanae tells me and there's such a longing to believe in her words but I'm still not sure. People don't know about how hurt Kuon is, how he's learning words through a children's television show, how he relies on other people because he's unable to take care of himself even for a few hours.

"Our friendship is important to me too," I tell her before looking away, "but Kuon will always come first." Kanae slowly nods and I smile before bowing my head and closing my eyes. "Promise that you won't judge him?" I ask her and she nods. I'm not sure if I believe her or not but I _want_ to believe her.

"Of course, you're not the type of girl who would marry easily," she says and I can understand that. "Is it possible to spend some time together today?" she asks and I hesitate. Maybe. I do want to get my shopping finished. I want to pick out the perfect gift for Kuon. I nod feeling a little startled by this.

"Sure, come around to the house in about three hours so I can finish up what I'm doing," I say nervously. Father wants to spend time with Kuon today so he didn't schedule anything. I trust Father to take care of him and hopefully neither of them will mind me spending some time with Moko.

….

….

I can't help but feel that Kyoko is a bit too worried about me. I've been asleep most of the day, which I suppose might have bothered Dad who wanted to spend time with me. There's a lot that Dad and I can still do if I'm not too much of a hassle for him. Dad puts down a serving of soup at the table which is low for the girls and that means I can eat from my wheelchair.

"If you'd prefer that I don't go out with her then I understand. I want to make sure that you're okay before I go." She puts a hand to my cheek so that we can make steady eye contact. Of course it's okay with me that she wants to spend some time with her friend. I look at Dad before back at her and Dad looks confused.

"Da' mi'o wa'a…s'ay" I slur out wondering if she can even understand that. I talk slowly and my words run together but apparently it's a 'miracle' that I'm even speaking at all. Yeah, right. Some miracle.

"I can stay," Dad tells me quickly. "I want to stay. Now, let me know if you don't like the soup, it turned out a little spicier than I was going for but I think that it'll be good," he says although it's really just broth, the doctors don't want me to have solid food for at least another few days.

"It smells delicious, Father" she tells me before kissing my cheek. "I won't be out for too long. Just enough time to talk and maybe get some ice cream. I could bring you back some if you want," I smile to him. Dad sits down with us, handing Kuon me water and a couple of pills before pretending not to notice. I appreciate that since I'm still self-conscious about my condition.

"I tried to make something we'll all enjoy," Dad says and we all start eating, I notice some vegetables and beef in theirs that he left out of mine but it's still a good tasting broth. I think Dad put more work into the broth than the other elements of the dish. Once we're finished, Kyoko takes the dishes into the kitchen unable not to squeeze my shoulder to comfort me.

The security buzzer rings and Dad takes over the responsibility of cleaning up the dishes. Kyoko goes to the door and I know that it's Kotonami-san. I'm dressed in casual clothes, another hoody, tee, but this time a pair of jeans instead of sweatpants. After he's finished with loading the dishwasher, Dad comes back and sits next to me.

"When do you start therapy?" he asks me and I look down uncomfortably.

"Soo', 'ey wa' me spea'etter" I look down with frustration. I don't want my words to slur but with the damage that Fuwa left me I can't help it. Dad continues to smile at me, his hand touches my upper arm.

"I think that you're doing amazingly considering that the doctors thought you should have died at the scene. I'm really proud of you," he grins and I roll my eyes. How can he be proud of me when all of my sentences sound like a garbled mess? He rubs my arm in the way that a caring father does. I know he and Kyoko think that I'm making improvement but my speech is terrible.

I see Kyoko enter the room seemingly unwillingly with Kotonami-san behind her. Dad offers me a comforting and supporting look before getting up and giving a slight bow to our guest.

"Hello," Kotonami says before bowing in a deeper way. She looks to me and am I just imagining that she seems disgusted. I know I'm not worthy of Kyoko, she doesn't need to point it out. She stands there looking at me and Kyoko turns between us. I know that it'll make her happy if I try to get along with Kotonami. We've spent time before especially when I was first dating Kyoko and she was protective of her.

"He'o" I say before mentally kicking myself, "Ni' see'ou ge'"

She looks at me with slightly widened eyes before turning away seeming sickened by the way that I'm speaking. I pause. Kyoko can't see her face and I don't want to trouble her by bringing attention to this coldness. She nods before pulling Kyoko into the kitchen and I hear her speak though she's using Japanese as if I don't understand it.

"What happened to his voice? Does he always sound like that?" she asks in an accusing tone and I see Dad frown, shifting uncomfortably before turning in their direction. He takes my hand as if I'm a little kid and squeezes it, he doesn't want to hear this but it's the truth.

"Well," Kyoko says slowly, "with a head injury it's sometimes difficult to speak at all. Kuon's doing really we-"

"He sounds like a baby," Kotonami says and I freeze. "He must act like one too."

Dad turns to me with concern in his expression. I can see his anger but staying here with me seems to take priority. She's right of course. I don't have the same abilities as a regular adult. Hopefully Kyoko doesn't see me that way.

"Such a burden, mo."

**End of Chapter Thirty Two**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Thirty One

Kaname671


	33. Chapter 33

**AN: If you're triggered by the second flashback then don't read the last part. I also learned from this fic that it's not the reviews that matter (although they make me happy) **

**Chapter Thirty Three**

I know that Kuon's trying and I'm so happy about that. He knows how much Moko used to mean to me but somehow the Moko that I thought I knew has vanished. I smile as I see the dinnerware set that Rose and Ana have. They are cute and princess themed. Something about having children really makes you appreciate the small details.

"What happened to his voice?" Moko asks me in Japanese and I stare at her. First off, it disturbs me that she is speaking in Japanese but that's only because I've been surrounded by the English language at home for years, it's our primary language at this point. Secondly, I must be sensitive when it comes to Kuon because that sounds like heavy judgment to me. "Does he always sound like that?"

My eyes widen as she says that and I turn to her. Yes, he always sounds like that but that's what a person who has had a head injury _sounds_ like. In fact, compared to most survivors he has a strong voice and control over his actions. A lot of people have to even learn their alphabet or they just make beeping or humming noises. Kuon might slur his words but they are discernible to me. We can communicate even if I have to be a translator for other people.

"Well," I tell her eyeing her slowly and cautiously, not sure if she actually is willing to show Kuon respect or not. "With a head injury it's sometimes difficult to speak at all. Kuon's doing really we-" I try to explain but Kanae shakes her head and it leads me to stop midsentence.

"He sounds like a baby," she says and I freeze. I look at her in shock. Yes, he's slurring his words together and maybe it might lead someone foolish and uneducated to think he's mentally slow when he's not but a baby!? Kuon has a lot of shame from what happened to him that he shouldn't be carrying on his shoulders. All he was trying to do was be nice and friendly and welcoming. He has every right to make demands and try to control the situation and I should have never let Kanae into our house. What the hell is her problem!?

"He must act like one too," she says and I pull back. All that Kuon has done towards her was say that it was nice to see her again. He hasn't done anything wrong. She really wants to be mad at him because he's trying to be nice to her. I feel a cold shock through me and I stand in complete disbelief. "Such a burden, mo," she says and I hear alarm bells in my head and a coldness which is turning from shock to anger.

"A burden?" I laugh bitterly, my eyes narrowing. "Are you saying that my husband is a burden to me? That the man I love is a burden, that he's a chore? You're kidding yourself." I start to think if how hurtful those words are and I am hoping that Kuon didn't hear them. He's been recovering so much I don't want to cause his progress to derail. "Kuon Hizuri is the best person in my life. He means more to me than anyone with the exception of Rose and Ana. Kuon Hizuri should never be called a burden, my life would be much worse without him there beside me."

"Does he wear a diaper?" Kotonami asks and I look at her. She nods but I don't want her assuming anything. "Let me guess, it's very common for a wife to change their husbands diaper after they have an accident if they are brain dead."

I feel my demons start to swarm and I can't help but to want to reach out and strangle her. I look at her before grabbing a dishtowel so I can hold onto something. "You know what, don't even talk about Kuon! He has given up so much for me and he's an amazing person!"

"But you have to change him?" she asks and I feel pushed into a corner. Truthfully, he changes himself with difficulty so sometimes I want to help him but he's always so ashamed of that. I don't care though. He might have incontinence pads but it's a tiny price to pay in order for him to be alive. I feel tears in my eyes.

"I don't have to change him!" I yell at her, "he does that for himself. It might be hard to watch him struggle but Kuon is strong and independent and I love him. I've always loved him. He's an amazing father. He is really sweet with a great sense of humor, he's protective and strong and -" I pause as I see her starting to leave the kitchen. What the hell is she doing? Where is she going?

"This is what you caused," she tells Kuon switching back to English and she gestures to me. I look a mess but it's not because of him. "You can't even let Kyoko have friends," my eyes widen and I open my mouth to argue but she cuts me off. "It would be better for everyone if you were dead, you're unable to provide for your family. You're weighing everyone -"

"That's enough you bit—" Father says as he stands up and I see the anger and protectiveness in his face. I don't know if I've ever heard Father say that word before, he's usually so respectful and he's a feminist, he wouldn't hurt a woman on purpose. "My son has done nothing wrong. He's suffering physically, do you need to make him suffer emotionally as well?" I turn to look at Kuon who has a glazed over expression and he seems to be focused on the space before him, tears in his eyes. I feel so dirty and all I want to do is run over to him, hug him, prove how much I love him.

"Get the hell away from him. Maybe that bast—Fuwa isn't the only one we need to file a restraining order against because I repeat, my son has done _nothing _wrong, nothing to harm either you or Kyoko. Of course you've never felt love, you wouldn't attack my son if you were capable of it. I want you out right now but this isn't my hou-"

"I want you to get the hell away from me, Kotonami" I whisper and she stares at me in shock. "I never want to see you ever again. If you do see me in public then do not approach me, I will not acknowledge you." I tell her before glaring at her sharply. "Get the hell out."

She looks between Father and me and then stomps out. I turn to Kuon. He understood all of that, didn't he? I kneel down in front of him knowing that the tears are streaming down my face. He looks so distant. "C-corn?" I ask, my voice breaking. "What she was saying, those things aren't true. My sweet Corn," I whisper as I try to avoid the sobs I want to release so badly. "Can you look at me? I'm so proud of you," I try to tell him. I reach for his hand but he pulls it away, still not making eye contact. "I'm so so proud to be your wife," I say honestly but he's still frozen. I stand and put my hand on his cheek but he grabs my wrist, directing me away from him.

"G-ge' 'ay fro'e" he says not even looking in my direction. I sit there silently for a moment. I hurt him, well not me but since I invited Kotonami into the house, it's because of me that he got hurt.

I nod with tears in my eyes. "I love you, Kuon," I whisper and he shakes his head not believing me. "The girls adore you," I take a deeper breath and finally allow the sobs to overcome me. "Would you like Father to take you to his house, if that's okay with him?" Kuu nods and I see he's sympathizing with me. We both know Kuon belongs _here_.

When Kuon nods it breaks my heart. I don't want to turn the responsibilities of helping him over to somebody else however I understand his emotions. At least he'll be with his parents who won't let anything bad happen to him. I stand up, seeing the internal pain he's going through and start to cry. "I'll get your things," I tell him feeling like Kotonami has ruined everything.

…

….

_I turn to Kanae and smile, I'm excited to be moving overseas but I will truly miss her. I remember when I was much younger and I wanted to know her secret and I grew jealous thinking that I was only her second choice. I'm a hypocrite. I would follow Kuon to the end of eternity but unless Kuon was there as well, I wouldn't follow Moko._

"_Are you sure that I can't convince you? That guy, he's not really giving you a -"_

"_Kuon said that the decision is up to me in the end," I tell her whilst smiling. I know that he would continue to act in Japan if I really wanted to stay here but he has his parents in Hollywood, he has had dreams since he was a kid of acting there. I really want to support him." _

_Moko sighs and rolls her eyes, "You are so different than when I met you. You swore that you wouldn't let a man control you."_

_I blush. "That was before I fell in love with Ren. Kuon is so different," I smile happily. _

"_Mo," Kanae sighs. "I wish you luck," she tells me and I smile. I don't need luck. I trust Kuon to look after me and I'll look after him. I've never felt this much love directed to me before. _

…

….

This was my room when I was a kid. Of course, it's been redecorated into a guest room and my belongings are safely in storage from when I was young but this was where I slept as a child. I am a child. As much work as I've done to be mature and adult and accomplish my dreams, I am only a child in a man's body. I shiver at the thought of that.

I am the reason why Kyoko is losing her friends. I am only giving her grief. I am cursed to hurt the people I love and that's why I never wanted anything precious to begin with. I should be dead. I can't stay here with a clean conscious knowing that I'm stealing from my family. I hear a knock on the door and see Dad come in with another bowl of soup. I'm not hungry. I can't burden them any longer.

"Hey," Dad says as he puts the tray on the top of the chest of drawers and comes to sit on the guest bed opposite me, I still feel alone and broken. Everyone would be better off without me. "How are you doing? Are you feeling any better?" I don't know how to respond to that with this insulting slurred speech. I can feel the tears in my eyes and Dad reaches out for me but I flinch away from him. "What you heard, Kyoko doesn't agree with that. Remember what she said, she's proud of you and your progress, she loves you, you're _never_ a burden to her or any of us."

I look away. I don't feel hungry. I've heard the truth now. I've heard how much of a burden I am to my family, to the people I considered friends, the girls would be better off without me. I don't know what to say to him without it coming out messy.

"Do you want some time alone to think?" Dad offers and I nod. He squeezes my shoulder lovingly but I pull away. Dad puts a buzzer down in front of me. "If you need _anything_ then just press this and your mother and I will come see you immediately."

I nod. I won't be pressing it. Even if I'm dying on the floor, I can't take advantage of him anymore.

….

…..

"_What are those?" I ask Daddy as I point to the wall where he has guns hung up. He says it's his collection. I wonder if we can play with them. Daddy looks at me very worried before staring at the toys._

"_Those aren't toys," Daddy says before getting down next to me and pulling me into a hug. "Promise Daddy that you'll never play with them?" he asks me and I'm confused but I nod slowly. Daddy pulls me into his arms and picks me up, kissing my head and I laugh._

"_It would break Daddy's heart if you got hurt so you mustn't touch," he kisses me again and I look at him. They aren't toys and they would cause pain? "How about if we play catch?" he asks me and I nod. Catch must be a lot more fun than these toys. _

_Daddy takes me to the backdoor and gets the ball. I look back at the room with the toys. I really wonder why Daddy seems so scared of them. _

….

….

Something doesn't feel right. I know that I'm worried about Kuon, that is most likely what it is. I know that Kuon has a strange way of thinking ever since he felt he destroyed Rick's happiness. No, maybe it was before that and I just didn't notice. I sleepily walk downstairs and then notice that the light is on in the room where I keep my movie memorabilia. I keep posters in there, props, my collection of - I race down the stairs. I should have locked them up.

I manage to get into the room and my heart stops but my body speeds up, it's like an out of body experience. Kuon has a gun to his forehead. He has a fricken gun to his forehead. He's going to kill himself. He looks up surprised to see me and I take the miniscule opportunity that I have and slap the gun out of his hand, there's a loud bang but the bullet goes into the floor instead of into his head. I pick it up desperately and unload it, staring at him with wide eyes.

If I was a moment later then I wouldn't be here with my son alive, he would be a bloody corpse on the ground. I feel myself shaking as I scan him for any other weapons. He doesn't have any. I feel my entire body shaking and I feel horrible for what I next do, it's not fair but I shove the wheelchair so that he falls onto the ground and then I pin him down. I know that with how weak he is, he can't push away from me.

I grab my phone and whilst shivering call the emergency number, once I get to the dispatcher I try to fight through the shock and pain. "Hello, I need to get an ambulance or the police or I don't know but my son just attempted to kill himself." Kuon struggles but he's too weak to fight against me. If I was even a couple of seconds later… "He doesn't seem to have any wounds but I'm terrified of a repeated attempt." They tell me that they'll send an ambulance and there's a very deep pain in my heart. "Thank you," I whisper.

I don't even want to guess what Kyoko's reaction will be when she hears this. I hear Julie at the doorway, she's gone extremely pale and is trembling. She looks at the gun and then me on top of a conscious Kuon and tears stream down her face as she pieces together what happened.

"Thank god he's not hurt," she whispers as she puts a hand over her heart.

**End of Chapter Thirty Three**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated **

Thank you to Kaname671 for reviewing Chapter Thirty Two


	34. Chapter 34

**AN: **I don't want to spoil it but the latest chapter was pretty sweet 😊 but I'm not expecting happy things for February ('cause of how the manga goes). Still, I'm going with my mum to Disney Feb 11th-16th so will have that to take my mind off of things. Hope you enjoy this next chapter.

**Chapter Thirty Four**

_I look up at the man towering over me. I'm sitting in a wheelchair and I feel my head has a part of it which has been bashed in. I feel a lot of pain and I am horrified to see the hate filled look on his face. It's not even Kuon but Ren Tsuruga who is in front of me and not the Ren that I know, the Ren who I believed he was in the early days of my career. _

"_Tut tut, Mogami-san, stuck in a wheelchair…how disappointing this must be for you. You really are the turtle aren't you?" he asks before reaching forward and poking me on the forehead. "Your superior in the agency is speaking to you. If you had any manners you would answer them."_

_I open my mouth wanting to reply to him but instead all that comes out are babbles._

"_What are you, some kind of baby!?" he asks before shaking his head. "Someone like you doesn't even deserve to live. It's a horrible world for someone who excels in acting like me to deal with someone like you. You're just a burden to the entire industry. And you're slutty as well. I'll have to be with my new wife."_

_I look at him and then see Kanae coming over with a judgmental look in her eyes, she sneers at me and hangs to Ren's side. Ren gives me a rather dark glare before turning away from me. "Things like that shouldn't even be alive. It's slutty too."_

"_I agree, my love," Kanae says and I try gasping for air but all that comes out of my mouth are babyish babbles and then I hear my words turn into my phone ringtone_

….

…

My phone's ringing, I can see that it's Father's number. Maybe Kuon wants to return home and I can make him some hot tea and we can talk and I can prove to him how earnestly I love him. I'm about to speak but Father requests for me to listen, "Okay," I reply and feel the heat get drawn our of my body as he continues.

I feel completely hollow inside and I want to wake up. I want to wake up like I did after my nightmare but this is even worse. I feel my heart has completely stopped. I can't breathe. It's too hard to breathe. I have to hear Father say what he meant to say and not these words that are making me terrified.

"What…did you just say?" I ask wanting him to say different words. I couldn't have just heard Father say what he did. I feel my entire body start to turn to jelly and melt. "Father, what did you say?" I ask.

"Kuon got put in the psychiatric ward after he tried to kill himself tonight," he says and that's exactly what he said before. I have so many questions but one I don't have is why. It was a mistake for her to even be here. It was a mistake for me not to talk to him when I saw how upset he was getting. I thought it would be best to give him a place in which he could calm down where he was safe.

"How?" I ask feeling completely broken. How could he have given up trying?

"He tried to shoot himself in the head," Father tells me and I freeze as I think about Father's gun collection and how Father should have locked that room. Then again, I can't blame Father because he would never intentionally do something that could hurt Kuon. I know that it was because of what Moko told him. He needs to see a therapist but I need him here. I won't feel that he's safe until he's here where he's surrounded by people who love him with every part of their being.

"Are they letting people see him?" I ask not wanting to admit that I looked up suicide risk factors and statistics before. I know that they would want to question him further but he's got everything so wrong.

"I'd contact them now but they'll most likely tell you to wait. I don't know how long. He might not want to see you. I don't think he's ready to see anyone," Father says and I know that that's the truth. He's probably internalizing what Kotonami told him and knowing she was once my best friend, it's been the hardest person to hear those things from.

….

….

I'm a burden to my family. They should have just let me shoot myself and then everything would be over. I don't understand why Dad didn't do that, why he was shaking the entire time until they took me away and put me in here, a psychiatric ward. I don't belong in here. This is for people who have hopes of getting better. They have a chance at life, they're not damaging the lives of their loved ones. I take a slow breath in as I gaze out the window of the private room I'm in. The rich and famous get special entitlements even in a mental facility.

I don't want to talk to anyone. I just want to disappear. If I disappear then people won't get hurt. Kyoko can live a good life. It's what's best for everyone. The doctor approaches me as I look up with eyes that seem to see the world as more clouded than ever before.

"You've got a visitor," the doctor tells me and I look away from him. I don't want to see anybody.

It's not visitation hour yet. I don't want to see anyone or go out there even during that time. I just need to be alone in here where I won't poison or wreck anyone else's future happiness. The doctor studies me.

"I need your permission to allow her to see you," the doctor says and I nod. I know who it is and hopefully she can soon stop pretending that she hasn't fallen out of love with me. I've given her the perfect opportunity to do so.

"Hi, Corn," Kyoko says slowly. She has roses with her in a paper cup because they don't want me to have glass which I can use to cut myself. I look away from her. My heart is broken and what's the use of trying anymore. The doctor looks between us and Kyoko nods, taking a deep breath to relieve the lump in her throat. "How are you?" she asks as she sits down on the bed and waits for my reaction. I don't want to react. "Corn, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, this is all my fault, I…"

I try to look past her. I don't want to connect with anything. I don't want her to come to lean on me or depend on me again. If I ignore her for long enough then she'll get the idea, she won't come again, she'll realize that she's better off without me. I feel a cold energy and she drops her head and I feel the depression and pain but I have to guard myself against her.

"Kuon," she says longingly. She reaches out to take my hand and I just let her take it, it's limp in her own and she frowns but continues to hold it. "Sweetheart. She was talking crap. I don't know why she did that. Maybe it made her feel better to bully someone and I'm so sorry. Please know that my life would be a lot harder if you were gone. You are _not_ a burden on me."

I don't know how to argue with her. I can't exactly act properly and my speech is better left unheard. I just sit there without a response. Kyoko sighs and holds my limp hand in both of hers. "Sweetheart, you can say anything you want. Tell me how you're feeling? Tell me why you think we could survive without you?" I look away bitterly and pull my hand away before accidentally making eye contact with her. I'm feeling so much pain right now, it's as if I was a teenager again suffering after I hurt Rick.

I shake my head and feel the pain in my eyes, I see that she's reacting with deep concern and longing and I wonder if I'm as pitiful as I feel. "S'op" I struggle to get out and she blinks back tears. She smiles the slightest bit now that I've said something. "S—S—Ss-" I struggle to get out. For some stupid reason my brain hurts when I try to make the T sound. "S-S-S-" I try but shake my head. I bow my head with frustration.

Kyoko gets down on her knees in front of the wheelchair and very gently puts her hand to my cheek. "Why do you want me to stop?" she asks. I don't deserve her. Why can't she understand that!? She bites her top lip. "Do you….think that I don't love you?" she asks. I hate how she's so perceptive about this. How could she love somebody like me? I'm a sick freak, that's all I am. She can tell in my eyes what the answer is. "Oh my prince," she says as she blinks back tears. "I love you so so much. I never thought that I would love anyone and we've been married for so many years. We have two amazing daughters. We have a house that we turned into a home. You're still the same Kuon but you need to get treatment, you need to recover. Remember that line, in sickness or in health."

Of course. I remember that line. That is the reason why she's here.

Even though I'll be humiliating myself by speaking, I have to tell her that it's not worth her lying to herself and especially to me. "S'op!" I yell at her before taking of my own wedding ring. I've had enough of this. I've had enough of feeling like I've entrapped her in this painful situation. She shouldn't have her life destroyed. She just sits there and breathes slowly, watching me.

"You…th'in I wa' di'" I slur again. The doctors have continuously told me that being overly emotional will hurt the way I speak. "Y—ou wa'-ing…your'ife?" I take off my ring and push it towards her, dropping it into her hand and she just watches me with patient understanding. She's not arguing back but I can see how she's trying to hold back all of the tears.

"My life isn't being wasted," she tells me in a very calm manner. She takes the ring and holds it as if looking at it in the wrong way would lead to it breaking. "The doctors told us that you might never speak again, that they would have to operate on your throat. I know that it takes a lot of energy for you to speak but we can communicate. You can speak short sentences. I know what you tell me even if you feel like you're struggling. You don't see how amazing your recovery is compared to other people's. It's as if you have some power for high speed recovery."

What is she talking about? I groan and push a hand over my head which has only short blond hairs there now. "Du'ey" I tell her and she blinks. "No' lo', you do du'ey."

"I don't give a damn what I'm _supposed _to be doing as if I'm supposed to pass some test or something," she tells me. I love you and you….you tried to…." She bows her head and starts crying putting her sleeve to her eyes. "Everything I do is because I want for you to know how much I love you. I do love you. I just want to try to make you happy. You saved my life Kuon but if we had switched places I would have wanted to protect you. You're the man I love and even if you don't want to wear your wedding ring, it doesn't change that I love you and I am incredibly incredibly proud of you."

I look at her and sigh, "You wo' me?" I ask and she nods with tears flowing. I look away stubbornly, "I sorry K'oko" I say and she tries hard to stop crying so that she can wrap her arms around me. She nods saying that it's okay.

"The doctors say you can come home tomorrow if you want," she tells me and I nod slowly.

"You reary wa' me'air?" I can tell by the way that she's looking at me that she does. I hold my hand out and she grins putting the wedding ring back on there before she hugs me close, kissing me and letting the tears wet my shoulder. "I wo' you" I struggle and she laughs softly in response.

…..

…..

As I kneel down in front of an empty bookcase in a storage room in our house that we've been trying to figure out what to do with – one of the complications of living in luxury – I turn to look around at the boxes of books that are packed up and others that are piled up. I'm such an idiot. I should have realized this months ago. Kuon gets upset when he's not doing anything. It's those quiet moments when his brain tries to trick him and goes crazy on him. I feel like such a failure as his wife to have failed to identify that.

I push over one of the boxes of books and there is a crash. Kuon has been home for a couple of days already and he's really been trying to guide through the negative thoughts but I think medicine, an antidepressant, might be a necessity at this point. After the crash, he rolls his wheelchair to the room and looks at me.

" you o'ay?" he asks me. I feel so much happiness at how unbelievably fast his speech has improved. It's like someone was writing our lives out and pressed fast forward on his recovery speed. I gesture for him to come in and he looks me over before doing so. He turns to the bookcase and back at me. "wha're you doi'?"

"I wanted a library, I know that you like reading too so I thought if we put a few more bookcases in here, maybe a couple of chairs, a coffee table, a sofa, some lighting, it'd be a fun room to use," he raises an eyebrow at me before smiling. "But we've got so many books. I don't know which ones to put up."

"You wa' my opi'opi'opi'" he struggles and I hum before tapping my chin. I'm glad that I thought about this all before hand and am using my acting in order to coax him into helping me. I tilt my head to the side.

"Maybe but I was hoping you could help me decide because I want you to have some out that you like too," I tell him and he looks around before smiling.

"K'oko?" he asks and I turn to him with a wide smile. He's actually seeming to connect with this task. "Sor'…I tau' slow bu' you…thi' may'e… see'ee?"

"Like a CD player?" I ask before nodding. "That sounds like a pleasant idea. We can get one of those ones you can use Bluetooth with as well. It _would _be nice to listen to music whilst we're reading." I have to keep going, keep making sure that he's interested in this task. If he needs to stop or take a break or a nap, that's fine, I just have to take him out of his own mind and give him a task to do.

"You mi' I loo'ough thi' bo'?" he asks going over to a box of scripts which are both his from projects he's done and the ones that he's had signed from famous movies. I smile as I see him shifting through the items. I just have to keep him motivated so that next time he says he's only a burden I can turn around and say, well who helped me set up the library? It's been a long time since I've dedicated myself on improving someone's ego and self-worth but Kuon needs it. I wonder what I should do as my next project for him to work on.

**End of Chapter Thirty Four**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thank you so much to Kaname671 for not only reviewing this but other fics as well. I live with a mix of borderline personality disorder (impulsivity control/lack of trust in others) and bipolar disorder, reading over reviews for my work can actually calm me down and keep me from wanting to self-injure so thank you so much. You really do keep me motivated to write. Sorry if that was a lot to dump on you


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter Thirty Five**

I watch Kyoko nervously as this strange man stands in our home. She says that he's a lawyer who was chosen by Boss and then Dad has met with him before and researched his career but I'm nervous. I really don't want to talk about this but then I can't let this guy get away with this either. No doubt he would try to come after me again or at least someone that I love and hell, he already broke into a private elementary school.

I just feel such anxiety when it comes to talking about him or seeing pictures of him or imagining myself in the same room as him. Kyoko smiles to the lawyer before approaching me. She kneels down in front of me. "Are you feeling okay or did you want to wait?" she asks and I shakily nod. Kyoko kisses my cheek and I roll myself forwards in my chair.

"Hello, it's really a great pleasure to meet you," the lawyer says as he reaches for my hand. "My name is Spenser Montgomery. I'm one of the partners at Montgomery and Browning. Would it be all right to sit down and talk for a little time."

I look at him nervously before nodding my head. I'm glad that Mom was able to take the girls shopping and mentioned the Disney store. I wouldn't want them to be mixed up in all of this. He smiles and pulls out a chair for Kyoko at the table. Kyoko sits down but moves closer to me so that she can hold my hand in her own.

"I'm right here," she attempts to assure me knowing that I don't have my usual strength and courage that Ren Tsuruga had, that her previous version of the man she married had. "We can stop at any time."

"Yes, we can always take a break for the day and pick up at a later time," Spenser informs me and I nod. "So, the first question that I wanted to ask you is whether you feel comfortable testifying in court. I understand that you've had some difficulty with your ability to speak since the attack."

I look down. I know that it would be better for everyone to have a visual but I don't want to see him. I don't want to ever face him again. I used to feel superior to him. I thought I had superior skills and intelligence but now I'm like a toddler in front of him. "I-I-Iss" I say, the stress causing my speech to come out with a little more difficulty.

Kyoko puts a hand on my shoulder and looks at me, trying to provide strength for both of us.

"Vi'..eo…de'o..ion?" I ask before closing my eyes in shame and Kyoko gives me a quick side hug.

"Is it possible for a video deposition?" Kyoko asks to translate for me. The lawyer looks shocked that I know of such a thing. I'm not stupid. Somehow my intelligence isn't lowered and most people would think that impossible when considering the damage done to my body already.

"That could work," Spenser says as he jots it down on the record. "Yes, a video deposition might be ideal because then we'll be able to get accurate answers with the jury able to see for themselves what damage the defendant has done to you. We'll show them interviews from before the first accident as well. There were also several people who could say they saw you in the condition before the attack."

Kyoko looks forward, a fire burning in her eyes. "I would like to give my testimony in court, I understand that a deposition will precede it but I would love to tell everyone what that spineless monster did to my husband. I am positive that my father-in-law would want to as well. We've always been rather protective of Kuon but for someone to do this…"

"And…" Spenser says, "we're avoiding capital punishment."

I nod quickly. Kyoko nods too but I can see that she'd be open to it if I wanted it. I don't want him to die. He tried to kill me but I'm not going to work from vengeance and try to take someone else's life from them.

"Yes," Kyoko says and Spenser turns to us before taking out a legal form.

"I'd like to ask you to sign this so that, Mr. Hizuri," he turns to me and I look at him nervously. "We have your medical papers and tests and other documents turned in as exhibits," he says and I nod as I pick up the pen and Kyoko hugs me again as I messily scrawl out my signature. I used to be so different from who I am now and when I do things such as look at how I write my own name I feel so much pain from it. I pass it forward and Spenser just nods to it, not commenting on how it looks nothing like the signatures that I gave to all of my fans."

"Okay, so we're going to be pressing for an aggravated assault and battery, attempted murder, harassment, negligence leading to the initial injury, slander, and let's just start with those," he says and I nod. It's quite a charge. Kyoko thanks him and I start to feel more worried and pain but it's okay. It'll turn out okay because it has to.

…

…

_I look at the address that Yashiro had handed me of the law office in Kyoto. I don't know why she insisted on getting in touch with me through LME but if she wants to see me then I might as well do so. Kyoko would have mixed feelings but I don't want to tell her when she's five months pregnant with our second daughter and also taking care of Rose whilst I promote my new TV show and the Japanese airing of it._

_I go to the front desk, people are staring at me and I feel very conspicuous as I look at myself in the mirror behind the counter. I had to dye my hair a rich brown for this role and of course, brown makes me transform into Tsuruga Ren. "Hello," I say to a woman who is staring at me as if I'm some fantasy creature. "I'm here to see Mogami Saena."_

"_You're late," I hear a cold voice, "Nevermind. You can follow me."_

_I recognize this woman by the photographs that Kyoko has shown me as well as the few times we actually briefly met in person. I'm late? I check my watch – a working one that Kyoko gifted me – and blink. I'm about ten minutes early. Did she give me the wrong time or something?_

_I bow deeply as we get to her office, I know that my emerald eyes shows that I am mostly an American but she doesn't seem to care either way. I know that she once told Kyoko that no man was worth marrying but Japanese men were better than foreigners. I don't know whether she said that with me in mind but I have to think that she did. _

"_As you should know, your popularity and fame is bringing me a lot of unwanted attention," she tells me as she closes the door and I stand until she gestures that I should sit. "You seem to be getting more and more famous with your Hollywood career. It's rather an unpleasant taste."_

"_I never intended to make you a part of our lives," I try to say tactfully. I know that Kyoko only uses the HIzuri name when she's designing. All legal documents that Kyoko has have been changed, aside from of course things needing her maiden name, to Hizuri. Unless you dig deep into Kyoko's background, a person would be unaware of the name Mogami since we never publicly released it._

"_I want you to promise me that you won't," she says as she brings out a formal document. "Imagine if something were to happen, some scandal, it might hurt my own work. I want you to sign this saying that you, whatever name you're choosing to go by, will not contact me personally for anything. I don't care about you. I don't care about your children. I…"_

_I quickly take the pen and sign it. Is she referring to Kyoko as well? Is there a reason she hasn't said she doesn't care about her daughter? _

…

…

I can't believe how nervous I am. It's not that I haven't dyed and cut my hair before because, of course I have, but it's been some time since I dyed it lighter and didn't have it where it went beneath my shoulders. I want to take a step forward though. I want to look good for Kuon but I want to prove to him that I am determined for us to have a new and happy life.

I look to the girls who are excited that they get their hair trimmed too. I've said it was okay for them to also get their nails lightly painted with child-friendly nail polish. They had told me that Kuon's hair might never grow back but it has, even on the side where it was shaved. They told me that his hair would change color, maybe it's a couple of hues away from his golden hair but it's still blond.

Ana comes over to me, her hair has been combed and styled to make it bounce at the ends and she has sparkly blue polish on her fingers. "You look pretty, Mommy," she grins and I smile happily. I look like a more mature version of my sixteen-year-old self, more fashionable as well with a certain softness to my face.

I wonder if Kuon will be happy when he sees it. I don't know if there are things that will upset him but he's always been supportive of me in the past. I smile as I notice the blonde highlights. I bow my head happily, they are the same color as his hair so that means I have something connecting me to him at all times.

"Daddy will love it," Rose says as she comes to me. I grin to her.

"You think?" I ask and Rose nods, she looks away uneasily as if she's hiding a secret. I hum and tilt my head to the side not sure what she seems to shy and unsure about. "Rose, is something wrong?" I ask her as I hand my credit card over to the stylist.

"Something Nadia's mommy said," Rose says as she twists nervously. She bows her head and tears appear in her eyes. I get down immediately, kneeling in front of her and take her hands. Ana watches us very nervously, she's not used to her big sister getting emotional in public. There must have been something bad said. "Am I bad?" Rose asks and I pause, I study her and shake my head.

"Of course not," I tell her immediately, "Did you take the cookies again?" I ask and Rose shakes her head.

"I did," Ana volunteers and I nod to her, "Sorry."

"I forgive you," I smile to her before turning my attention back to Rose. I take a slow breath before think about what she said. "What did Nadia's mommy say?" I ask in reference to her friend's mother and Rose looks away. I don't know what's going on.

"I know Daddy is kinda…broke," she tells me and I have to hold myself back from correcting her. "I don't want to leave Daddy alone. I don't want him to go away to a fa—cil—i—ty," she says that word slowly and I feel an anger inside of me but I don't want to show it to the girls. "You said Daddy wasn't bad. You said that he wasn't in trouble."

"Of course your daddy isn't bad," I tell her not able to hide the shock in my voice. "We're staying with Daddy. He won't be alone," I sigh. Ana looks between us not truly understanding what's happening. Until this year all the girls knew of their dad was the fun, confident, sweet father who would always put them first. As much as Kuon _wants_ to put them first, he can't do that right now. "Do you know that your daddy is improving and getting better more quickly than the doctors thought he would," I tell them and Rose rubs the tears away from her face.

"Really?" she asks with a weak smile.

I nod and pull both of the girls into my arms, "Absolutely." I look at each of them in turn. "However, I need for you not to say things like that to Daddy. We have to try not to upset him so that he heals. Daddy wants to get better to spend time with you and play together. He just needs to stay happy."

Rose nods and Ana sighs.

"I miss playing," she says as she huffs and I nod.

"He misses playing with you two as well but I promise you, we'll stay together as a family. Daddy isn't going away and we're not going away either. We're going to stay together. We're a family."

The girls nod and I take a deep breath in. Even though I know that's what some people think of me, they think that I'd just leave Kuon and divorce him and maybe, if I was feeling kind enough, put him in some kind of assisted living facility. I know that they think that and it's completely false. I can't stop them from thinking that but I wish they had enough sense not to voice those thoughts in front of the girls who are still having difficulty understanding the situation.

**End of Chapter Thirty Five**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thank you to Kaname671 for reviewing Chapter Thirty Four


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter Thirty Six**

As I open the door for myself and the girls, my heart seems to sink down to my stomach. There's no way that I can feel comfortable telling Kuon that people are discussing him in such a hurtful manner. I close my eyes, the pain flowing through me and let the girls in. I just hope that he never discovers it on his own. "Why don't you go into the living room and we can watch a movie together," I suggest. I sigh and see Father approach me.

"You all look so glamorous," he says, giving a wink to the girls. I walk into his arms without thinking. He wraps his arms around me immediately bringing me into a hug. I sigh and try to blink back tears and he doesn't say anything, just holds me. Once the girls are gone he turns to me, "Are you okay? I can set a movie up for them if that helps."

"Why can't people leave things alone?" I ask and Father stares at me. I look away, my heart painfully twisting in my chest. "Kuon is doing his best. I don't want to hear that people are talking about him in a hurtful way and especially in front of the girls."

"I know," Father nods. "I think it's best to ignore it unless it really starts becoming a problem. People don't understand Kuon's disability and even for me, it makes me angry just thinking about it. Earlier this year, Kuon was a healthy and able man, he won an Academy Award, he helped others, ran around with the girls, was able to give long speeches. He's gone through much more than he should and even if he struggles, he's still doing his best. I can see the shame in his face because he doesn't acknowledge that. He doesn't acknowledge how hard he's working or that he's improving at an unrealistic speed."

I look down and away from Father, "He's never been that good at recognizing his own accomplishments. He was Tsuruga Ren, I'm sorry but he had more of a following than Hozu Shuuhie or at least that's what the med-"

"He did," Father assures me, "I'm sure that he still does. He's been doing well today. He's in the bedroom if you wanted to see him or do you want me to che-"

"I'll do it," I tell him without even letting him finish. Father smiles and I walk over to the bedroom. I take a deep breath wondering how he'll react to my makeup and haircut. I knock on the door before opening it and am surprised to see him awake and sitting in the bed, he has a book open on his lap and not just the type of book that Nate had. This is a book that a junior in high school might be reading.

"Hi," I tell him and he looks up before smiling to me. His smile always makes me feel happy and it lights up a room, it's so bright especially with the color of his hair and eyes.

"Wo'w," he says happily and I feel giddy inside, "You loo' gor'ou…" he frowns and I tilt my head to the side not sure how to reply to him. "Gor'ou…gor'ou," he keeps trying to get out and I go over to him. I sit on the bed and kiss his lips, he returns the passionate kiss and I feel so wanted by him.

"Thank you," I tell him as I let my fingers brush through his shorter hair, careful of where his wounds are. "I'm glad that I look gorgeous. It makes me so happy that you like it."

"I lo' I'" he struggles again and I can see the pain in his face, "I lo' i—ju''li'…lo'..you."

He grimaces and closes his eyes at the way he's speaking and the sound of his own voice. Does he remember that less than a month ago, they were saying that he might never speak again? He has such difficulty with it and I see him blame himself but he's speaking, He's saying things that I can understand and although he's still slow and a little sloppy in his speech, it has sped up a little.

"I love you so much," I remind him.

….

…..

_I always find it cute how stubborn he can be when he has a cold. I bring him soup and a card that Rose drew him to say that she wants him to recover. He takes the tray and watches me, "Thank you, princess" he smiles to me and I want to stop his throat from hurting. His voice sounds so sore. _

"_Just…I hope you feel a little better," I tell him as I check his temperature again, he's got a slight fever. "I think you should stay in bed and rest today."_

"_I'm fine," he sulks and I laugh at how this twenty-nine-year-old can act like a toddler. Still, I would never want to be with anyone else._

"_You have a slight fever and you have work tomorrow," I try to remind him and he pouts again._

"_I had work today," he replies moodily and I sit on the bed with him. He already checked it over with the director and they told him to feel better as they didn't want to risk his voice for future scenes. The host on the talk show he would be appearing on filmed their material in advance and are already advertising another star for the slot. They also rescheduled but nobody wants to catch a cold. _

"_Well eat your soup, rest in bed and I'm sure that you'll be able to go into work tomorrow," I tell him and he looks down before smiling. He turns to me._

"_I'm sorry for being….moody," he apologizes and I laugh. He always gives us so much of himself. It really is okay for him to be a little grumpy when he's sick. _

"_Well we all get to be moody now and again," I laugh softly, "besides, this gives me more reason to be the one to spoil you." I go over to him, push his hair back and kiss his forehead as he sighs. Kuon can act like a baby all he wants to, it will never make me feel anything but lucky that I married him. _

….

….

I know that she has to be protective of me and usually I try and make her feel better by doing my best not to show fear. I'm scared of her leaving whilst I talk with the therapist. It's two days before Christmas and therefore her birthday but they thought that the earlier that I start therapy the better. Now that I can talk and be understood by others, it's supposed to be the next step of my treatment. Kyoko opens up a fashion magazine ready for when I go into the session.

"I'm going to be right out here, okay? I won't leave," she tells me and I stare down. I know that the therapist is trained to deal with cases like mine but I still don't want to have a panic attack. I look away before closing my eyes. "Kuon?" she asks as she touches my cheek. "We can do this another day if you're not -"

"Co' wi' me?" I ask her slowly and she blinks in shock before nodding and offering me a soft smile.

"Of course. I'll come and sit by your side the entire time if you'd like me to," she says as she takes my hand again. I feel so pathetic. It's as if I'm only half here. I want to go out and live my life again. I want to achieve something meaningful. It's as if I'm an observer in my own life but I'm frozen without the skills I need to complete even the most minor of tasks.

The therapist comes out and turns to us, "Mr. Hizuri, Kuon, you can come in now." I try to stand up, feeling nervous out of the chair. I can walk but they want me to go easy for at least the first month I'm out of the hospital after the attack. Kyoko takes my hand and with just a head gesture convinces me to sit down again.

"I's o'ay for K'oko to…joi'—joi'—join?" I struggle. I hate how I speak now. If I could only transmit my thoughts then nobody would see much of a difference in me but some people consider me of low intelligence because of my struggle to speak properly. I hate him for this.

"I'm sorry," the therapist says and I nervously reach for Kyoko's hand, she grabs mine and squeezes it wanting to do what she can so that I can be comfortable. We're a team. We'll work through this as a team. I just have to remember that we're a team. "I didn't hear any of that."

Kyoko coughs and raises an eyebrow and I look at her. There's not going to be a confrontation, is there? I'm pretty sure that no legal professional would want to say something cold, my speaking ability is probably not as good as I thought it was and of course Kyoko can understand me, she can understand what I want to say without me even saying anything.

I frown trying to form my words, "I-Iss i—i—" I grimace as I feel a sharp stab in my brain, no I have to work through this. Kyoko stands in front of me, her face shows that she's worried about some kind of an attack but I need to. The pain is really sharp right now.

"C-C-C-a-ann," I struggle again and hear the therapist cough.

"We should get started with the session," she tells us and I feel guilty that I wasted all of this time.

"Maybe we should find someone else," Kyoko says and I feel that things are going in the wrong direction. I pause and grab to the arm rest of the wheelchair. I need to calm down and not panic. I can't let my brain go into overload again. I have to keep calm and not panic.

"No," I speak slowly trying to be calm with my words, "Le's sta'"

"Well, yes, let's start," the therapist says and Kyoko hums whilst crossing her arms over her chest. "And yes, if it would make you feel more comfortable your wife can join us, that is a very common request."

Kyoko turns to me and I see how worried she is about this. It was my fault for not being able to be understood, not the therapist's. I feel bad that I'm causing so much trouble for everyone. The therapist holds the door open for us and I grip the arm of the wheelchair and Kyoko chooses to sit on the chair and not the sofa.

"So, how are you feeling today?" she asks and I sigh. She takes out a clipboard but I shake my head. Kyoko watches me.

"I fe'e guil'" I tell her trying to speak more clearly. If I can't be understood it just means that I try harder. "I' near'y Chri'ma'. Near'y Ko'ko bir'ay" I want to hate myself for not being able to say my words properly. I'm taking speech therapy and I'm watching Sesame Street with the girls to expose myself with simple words and sounds but it's not working quickly enough.

"Well, birthdays come and go. I'm sure that _your wife_," she says and am I imagining that she's casually gesturing to Kyoko as if she doesn't matter, "understands if you don't celebrate. She doesn't need any presents."

Kyoko sighs and bows her head, "That is true, Kuon. My best pre-"

"I di' ge' her…." I say quickly before pausing. It was supposed to be a surprise. I don't know if it's a good enough gift but I did ask Dad to help me with shopping. I showed him what I was looking at and he went to get it for me. I then transferred some money to him with his help despite him telling me that I didn't have to pay him back. If I don't pay for it then it's not really from me besides, I have the money despite the cost of the hospital bills.

"You did get me something?" Kyoko asks as she leans forward. "I'm really excited to see what it is."

"Well, I wouldn't be too excited," the therapist comments and I look down. Maybe what I got her is stupid or it wasn't enough. I got her a couple of pieces but maybe she won't like it or she won't want to wear it. "Often when people get head injuries they develop dementia or other medical conditions that make it unlikely for them to pick wise gifts."

I pause feeling awkward. I got her a glass rose from a famous company that mirrors the rose that I got her for her first birthday and then I also bought her a jewelry set with a necklace and a pair of earrings that I thought she'd like. Both were very expensive but she's worth it. With how much she's sacrificed for me and spent on me to even improve this much she's more than worth it.

"Kuon will always pick excellent gifts," Kyoko argues back and I look at the ground, maybe it's not something that she'd like. "And he doesn't have dementia or a mental condition. He might have depression and anxiety but don't treat him like he's disabled. Besides, he could give me trash and I'd still appreciate it."

I look at her. What did she just say?

**End of Chapter 36**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thank you as always to Kaname671 for reviewing Chapter 35


	37. Chapter 37

**AN: **Christmas/Kyoko's birthday probably next chapter(s)

**Chapter Thirty Seven**

_Your wife is just saying things that she wants you to hear._

_Who'd appreciate having trash given to them?_

_Could you repeat what you just said, I have a hard time understanding you._

_I mean, it must be hard for your wife to take care of you, take care of your children, do the housework, hold down her own high profile job._

I growl as my pencil breaks again on the sketchbook. How dare that woman say those things!? I hate to admit it but Kuon is not as emotionally or mentally strong as he once was but he's trying his best. He knows how things are now. He knows that things he had ease doing before cause him difficulty and I wanted to drag him out of that room several times especially when he just kept nodding as if he just blindly accepted whatever she was telling him. I growl before tossing the pencil on the ground and look at the design of the skirt that I just drew.

The pleats and silhouette are strange, this isn't what I wanted to draw but I'm far too angry to put the heart and passion into my sketches that I usually do. All I can see is the hurt on his face when each of those things was said to him _especially_ the last. That woman knows nothing about our lives. Yes, I can do all of those things without it being hard or tiring myself out and _especially_ taking care of him.

I pause as I look down at the large sketchbook. I haven't been able to design anything today. I'm just so angry at that damn therapist for feeding him those lines. I stand and take a deep breath before going to the small library and see Kuon looking over a history book with illustrations in it. He lifts his head as I go over to him. I'm really surprised by his ability to read although he does it at a much slower pace than he used to.

"Ko'ko?" he asks as he turns to me and I see the confusion on his face.

"I want to find somebody else," I tell him with my arms crossed over my chest. I see a number of mixed emotions go over his face and a few tears in his eyes but he smiles and nods. He closes the book and sighs, trying to stay strong for me. I can see the rejection on his face as he tries to smile through it. I think about what I just told him, "Of course not in that way." I say quickly and he looks confused again. "I want to find somebody else for you."

The shock increases and he stares at me, blinking. "I do-n wa' to," he refuses and shakes his head. I pause. Does that therapist really mean that much to him. "Bu'…I wa' you ha—ppppy," he looks down, his body shaking and nods. "I' you wa'nna d'wor'" he tells me and I pause. What is he talking about?

"No." I say firmly before trying to make my words a little calmer, "Of course I want for us to stay together and stay married but…" he looks to me and I see hope in his eyes. Is he really that scared that I won't want him. I love him unconditionally, I've loved him for ten years. He stares at me still confused. "I don't like that therapist, I want for us to find someone else."

He nods slowly, "Wh—y?" he struggles as he looks at me and my jaw drops a little. He was in that session, he must have heard what she was saying. "I' wa' the tru'" he says again and I cross my arms looking at him determined to get my way. Of course I'll be gentle with him but I want to look out for his best interests.

"The truth?" I laugh at him. "If people listen to you they can understand you perfectly fine," I tell him and he doesn't seem to believe it. "And I appreciate you not giving up. It's true. No matter what kind of gift you give me, I'll love it because you made the effort to choose it and give it to me. As for me not telling you the truth, you know that I'm honest with you. I wouldn't be keeping a list of the number of times I've wanted to slap some sense into you if I wasn't. I'd really appreciate it if we found someone else."

"I' rea''y ma'er to…you?" he asks confused and I nod. Of course the way he heals and how he recovers matters to me.

"Yes it does. I don't like the number of times she asked you to repeat yourself for one thing," I tell him. "Kuon, I know you have a little bit of a warped self-perspective but listen to me, Corn. You speak extremely well for what you've been through. You are able to be understood. I mean, are you understanding whatever it is you're reading. What are you reading?"

"Ru'an his-his—his'ory," he struggles out and I look at him again, my eyebrow raised.

"Okay. If you were as stupid as she tried to say you were then would you be reading a book on Russian history?" I ask and he stops to consider that. "Most people who don't have head injuries or trouble speaking wouldn't be reading that."

He stares at me before looking down and closing the book. "Ko'ko," he says before bowing his head, he takes a deep breath and then turns to me. He looks up at me with a guilty expression on his face. I don't want for him to apologize to me right now, he hasn't done anything wrong. "Ca' I as' you…for…so'ing?"

I blink back, "Ask me for something?" I ask before nodding. "Sure, ask me for whatever you want and I'll see what I can do."

"Ca' we mo' ba'…to Ja'an?" he asks me and I stare at him. I take a step back not expecting that. He wants to return to Japan? I mean, I've often thought about it myself but I would feel too guilty for taking him and the girls away from America and their grandparents. I open my mouth to say something but have no words, I nod slowly not sure how else to respond.

"Yeah," I finally say after a long silence, "but you have to be well enough to travel. We'll try to figure it out for next year but you have to be well enough to make the trip." He nods and I can see that same determination I have. Does he really want that or is he doing it for me?

…

…

I look at her not sure how to explain my reasons for that. Do I tell her that Japan feels like a home where I can fit in because of the time where we spent together and that it was the place where I ran to after Rick. Do I mention that the president has always extended the same kind of protection to me as my father? Or maybe the fact that I am trying to run away from the reminder of how petty and capitalistic the Los Angeles media stations are and the hungry from people who feel entitled to tear down celebrities. I could tell her any of these or I probably could have told her where I actually able to speak.

"Kuon," she tells me as she pulls out a chair to sit down with me. I nod. I can understand her apprehensions when it comes to traveling. If I were to have a seizure in the middle of a regular flight, even in the first class cabin, it could only generate panic. I have to get better and I don't know how long it will take me to do that. I need to get better. "If you're doing this because of me then I'm fine here. I've always been fine here."

I look at her and shake my head. It's a selfish desire, it's not because of her. It's because I want to run away from the media who keeps asking questions about me, from the news articles people are speculating about and writing on the internet. I don't want to deal with that anymore. In Japan the majority of people are quiet when you are standing in front of them because they don't want to be rude. People may gossip between one another just the same as they do here but they wouldn't want to shame themselves by speaking about the person directly in front of them.

I know I need to think about her and the girls. I shouldn't make them change their lives on a whim but I don't think it is a whim. "Ja'an…" I tell her again hating the way that my brain can't connect with the words that I truly want to tell her. "Ja'an….Japp—Jap-an…" I struggle out and Kyoko tries to calm me by placing her hand on my upper arm. "Qui'er" I say before frowning. When it comes to the harder consonants that's where I have the most difficulty. It's hard for me to not slur right through them.

"Yeah, you're right," she tells me with a smile before taking my hand. She's really one of the few people in my life who will take the time to listen to me and understand me after the accident. Mom and Dad both praise me for my progress and my abilities each time they see me, I know that they are hoping that I'll recover and am glad that I'm alive but Kyoko, it's as if she doesn't see the indentation in my head or the scratches that have turned to faint scarring under certain light, it's as if she hears my words as I intend to say them. She's so precious to me. She's my reason for existing. I care about being a good father but the girls are so loved that they will be protected even if I wasn't here. Kyoko though, I can't give her enough of my heart for all she's done for me.

"Kuon?" she asks as she tilts her head to the side and I bow my head with a smile. "Is anything wrong, sweetheart?" she asks before feeling my forehead, her concern showing. "You don't have a fever. Did you want to take a nap? Is this conversation…"

I look to her and smile, "Than' you" I tell her and then blink. That was nearly perfectly spoken. Aside from the missing 'k' it would have been as if it was the old form of me. Kyoko grins happily with a strong laugh and throws her arms around me, pushing her forehead into my shoulder.

"Corn, that was so good," she squeals. "I'm so proud of you," she tells me. "You don't have to say thank you. I'm so thankful that you're still here, that you haven't given up. Did you hear how amazing your voice sounded just then?" she asks before pulling back and dabs at her eyes where tears of joy have sprung. "Yashiro's right, you are an alien," she teases me. I blink confused. "Your progress, do you have some magic healing ability or something?" she asks and I grab to her hand.

I take slow breaths to quiet my mind again, "Fai—ry Ma-gicccc" I say, this time my voice produces too many Cs but I can see so much happiness on her face. Am I really capable of giving her that much joy?

**End of Chapter Thirty Seven**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thank you Kaname671 for reviewing Chapter Thirty Six


	38. Chapter 38

**AN: **So plan is one or two more holiday chapters (flashbacks in next) and then the meeting with Sho and the lawyers to settle the case

**Chapter Thirty Eight**

So today is my birthday. I can think about previous birthdays. Sometimes Kuon would take the family on a trip where we could spend the day together. Sometimes he would do something elegant here and invite our loved ones. Sometimes there were special moments he spent months planning for just the two of us. Honestly, I'm not expecting those types of things this year especially when he's given me something so precious already.

Almost seven months ago was when I saw him crumpled on the ground like a ragdoll after saving my life. He's been through comas, gotten sick to the point where he almost died, someone attempted to murder him, and he has disabilities which limit how he lives day to day and he feels ashamed of. He's had to go through all of those things in less than a year and yet he's here, asleep in the bed right next to me. I smile before hearing the phone ring.

Somebody is wanting to talk to me on Christmas? I hear Kuon groan and move his face into his pillow. I quickly muffle the sound of the phone and stand up. Maybe it would be best to take the call since it might be the only two people we invited to dinner this year, Father and Julie. I tuck the blankets around Kuon before whispering on the phone.

"Hello, this is Kyoko speaking," I say as I slowly close the door so I don't disturb Kuon and wake him up. He needs more sleep than any of us and I know he's trying to hide how excited he is to give me my birthday present. I know that he'll most likely need to take a nap later on anyway but the more sleep I can offer him, the more I want to.

"Kyoko, I'm glad that I caught you," Eric says, Eric is the lawyer for our business transactions but fortunately he has agreed to speak with Spencer and they are both working on pursuing legal action against Shotaro. Eric has been spending time in Japan and Spenser in the US. "Merry Christmas. I was hoping that we could talk for a quick moment."

"If it's quick," I tell him feeling nervous. I don't want to prioritize anything above my family today but this likely has to do with the lawsuit against Shotaro.

"As you know, there is a monetary damages part to the lawsuit," Eric tells me and I shift uncomfortably. I would prefer for Father to be here beside me as this is told to me. "The family wants to ask for a settlement with the case. Now, this is not binding for right now but I would like for us all to sit down, both parties to discuss."

I take a deep breath in and close my eyes, "I don't want Kuon in the same room as Shotaro," I tell him since I don't want for Kuon to feel insecure and under attack. That could easily happen with Shotaro exposure.

"Understood," Eric replies, "In which case, I need to request that Mr. Kuu Hizuri is to join us."

I take a deep inhale, Father has told me already that he wants to be informed about this case and anything to do with Kuon. He would cancel any work engagement to appear on Kuon's behalf. "What's the deal they want to make?" I ask not wanting to let my sympathy and bias take away from Kuon what he deserves.

"They are asking that instead of appearing in court, Mr. Shotaro Fuwa is going to have a thirty year prison sentence in a Japanese prison, there is a parole element so that if he does reform he can exit prison but there will be a lifelong restraining order when it comes to your family. In terms of monetary damages, the family wanted to request something different in order to not fall into bankruptcy." I look away, Sho's family is wealthy, they own several successful ryokans, I doubt bankruptcy is in their favor. "They have agreed to pay all medical expenses for your husband's injuries. They also agreed to a 500,000,000 yen settlement." I blink. I didn't expect for them to have _that_ much money, they must be doing well since I left Japan but if that is the lower price how much were we entitled to get. "They also want to transfer the ownership of their property in Kyoto to you, they specifically said your name but I'm sure we can change it to Kuon's."

I take a deep breath as I think about Kuon's request to move back to Japan.

We're going to have Shotaro locked behind bars for at least a number of years after which he will be violating the law if he comes close to a HIzuri family member. Kuon and I won't have to worry about the staggering medical bills which I would have gladly taken care of in any account. Then we are receiving just over $4.5 million dollars and the place I grew up. It's incredible. It's not anything that makes up for the pain and trauma Kuon has gone through but it's an offer that I wouldn't believe.

"They want to do a private settlement, that is one of the conditions. They want to protect the Fuwa name from bad publicity," I take a deep breath. I can understand that. I don't have anything against Yayoi-san and her husband.

"Agreed," I tell him. "I mean, I have to make sure that Kuon agrees with it but I think that that sounds reasonable." I hear movement from the bedroom and grab the phone. "I'm sorry. I have to go now, thank you for calling me about this."

I go back to the room and see Kuon waking up, he pushes himself up to the wall and smiles to me.

"Happpy Bir'ay," he says before I grab his chin before he can look down in disappointment at the sound of his voice. I kiss him passionately and romantically as I drape my arms over his shoulders and snuggle in close.

"Merry Christmas," I tell him and he hugs me. I love being embraced by him. "I've got something to tell you," I say before explaining the call with Spenser, I look up at him not sure what his response would be. I watch him and then he looks forward.

"I wan'na be…th-there," he says trying to slow his speech and speak in a quieter tone because that helps him. If he puts too much emotion in his speech and gets stressed out, that's when he starts losing consonants. "Bu' yesss, I' soun-ddds goo'"

I look down worried about that. I know that Kuon owns Corn's forest, our forest so we have our special place to spend time in so close to where we'll now be living but for him to be in the same room as Shotaro makes me scared. "Can we ask Father too?" I ask knowing that Kuu will provide a protectiveness that we both need. Kuu-sama might even be able to turn into an alpha wolf to protect his pup. Kuon nods to this request. I hope that will bring _both_ of us comfort.

….

….

I have to admit, the offer sounds more than what we were looking for and at least it will mean my not being in court and as scared as I will be to sit across from him, it'll be a relief to finalize this and I'm sure that there will be security as well. When Kyoko asks about Dad coming I feel safer. Dad almost had charges pressed against him when he decided to take revenge for the pain I was caused. I'm glad that the police somehow didn't punish him aside from a small fine.

I want to move on from this conversation though. This isn't what today is about. Last night we celebrated under the tree by giving each of the girls a gift. They were both toys. Rose received a toy Lady from Lady and the Tramp and then Ana got an Olaf toy from Frozen. They were both so happy. I really want to make It up to them that I haven't been the ideal father this year.

Now I can grab something. I reach under the bed for a wrapped box which I'm positive she's seen before and I give it to her from where I'm sitting. She takes it, a wide grin over her face and I'm glad that I have given her some happiness. "I's no' much," I tell her self-consciously but she shakes her head. "Ha—ppy Bir-t-day" I struggle. Even though I've been practicing, that's the best that I can do.

"Thank you so much, Corn," she whispers as she presses her head to my cheek, nuzzling my neck. She opens it carefully. I'm glad that Dad asked the store to gift wrap it, it makes it more special that way. As she opens it, I get a bit nervous. Dad showed me pictures of it before it was put in the box just to make sure that it's what I wanted for her. I hate relying on Dad and Kyoko but I'm thankful he could do this for me.

She opens the main box to see a smaller box inside of it and too wrapped items in bubble wrap. She sets the jewelry box to the side and picks up the larger item. She looks at it and notices the Swarovski name inside the box. Yes, I'm not going to buy something less for her. The first item is a crystal vase with pictures of fairies on it in different rainbow shades, it's very subtle and classic but it goes with the item next to it. Kyoko turns the vase in her hands with a huge smile. She then turns to the longer and thinner item and carefully takes it out. The smile widens and there are tears in her eyes as she unwraps a rose very similar to the one I got for her when she turned seventeen.

"Oh my gosh," she says as she puts her hands to her mouth after setting the rose down. "They are beautiful, Kuon," she tells me before kissing my lips lovingly. "Thank you." She says and there's a genuineness to her words. "I love them so much," she tells me and looks at the red crystal shards in the different lights.

She then sets it carefully into the vase and puts them both on the nightstand next to her. She then takes the jewelry box into her hands and opens it to see a more expensive set with a white gold chain and pink gems. The earrings have drops in a diamond shape and then the necklace is a pink heart that changes under different light. I feel a little nervous that she's been hoping for more.

She looks at the pieces before crying and my eyes widen. Did I cause her pain? Was she hoping for something else? I can't remember her telling me that she wanted anything in particular this year. Usually I can pick up on the hints that she gives me. This year has been different in a lot of ways.

"They're perfect," she says as she picks up the necklace and turns it in the light. "I'm putting this on and I am never taking it off," she tells me before slipping it around her neck. She puts her hand over it and tears fall down her face. I look at her worried. Did I do something that hurt her? I've been really trying my best to not burden her but it feels impossible. Was it not enough?

"You—re..cry'ing" I tell her worried and she throws her arms around me.

"I'm just so happy," she whispers into my chest. "Corn, I know how much you've been suffering and for how long it's felt but you gave me something absolutely amazing _again,_" she tries to laugh but chokes a little. "This heart proves how much you love me," she tells me as she keeps her hand over it, tears still flowing down her cheeks. "I love you so so much," she tells me and I watch her feeling a little guilty that I have put her through so much this year. This gift was only something small in contrast to that.

"As I told you," she sniffs, "the best gift that you can give me is to continue fighting but I love this. Thank you, my prince." She kisses me again and I deepen it. I love her. Of course I'm going to do all that I can for her even though it's much less these days than I used to. "Corn, I'm so…I don't have words to describe how happy I am that you didn't…" she struggles to complete that sentence and I feel guilty that I ever tried to shoot myself. I see now that she might not have recovered from that. All that I've been doing is doing this for her but it never felt like enough.

"Thank you for always fighting to not leave me. You're the only person in my life who has done that for me and I am so grateful that it's you that I fell in love with. You've never let me down." She curls up close to me again and I wrap my arms around her gently. Please don't take these precious moments from me.

**End of Chapter Thirty Eight  
Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Thirty Seven

Kaname671, kyoko minion


	39. Chapter 39

**AN: **More Christmas next chapter but cuter 😊

**Chapter Thirty Nine**

I know it's hard to tell the girls that we should pay more attention to Kyoko since it is her birthday as well but to the girls it's Christmas which is one of their favorite days of the year. We always tend to spoil them and thanks to Kyoko, this year is no different despite the difference in me but the fact that she wants to give _me_ so much makes me feel guilty. This is her day. In my mind it will always be her day. I don't think she understands that.

Mom and Dad have arrived and they have brought with them some presents for the girls. Both of them get upset when I tell them each year that I'm fine not getting any presents and they should put the money towards Kyoko. When they do listen to me, they go all out for my actual birthday and tell me that if I didn't want to be weighed down by gifts that I should have let them give me Christmas gifts.

The girls are in the living room watching an animated holiday movie whilst Kyoko serves tea in the dining room. I've actually been able to get out of the wheelchair enough to sit down at the table although Kyoko keeps looking at me nervously.

"I love your necklace," Mom says and Kyoko grins. It's obvious that this is the first time Mom has seen it but Dad nods as he takes a sip of the tea. He's really been helping us out more than I deserve.

"Kuon bought it for me," she says with a grin, "and Father, thank you for -"

"He bought it, picked it out, everything, all I did was pick it up from the store," Dad says and I smile and nod. That is still something to be thankful for. Dad helped me get it from Kyoko since I couldn't myself.

"Still, thank you both of you for all of your help. I hope it isn't selfish but I need to ask for your help again, we need to ask for it again," she says before turning to face Dad and sits. Dad looks to her, sharing a quick look with Mom and then leans forward and takes her hand.

"Anything," he nods, "What can I do to help?"

"The Fuwas want to offer us a settlement so that the trial doesn't go public. I think that they are worried about the impact which it might have on their business and the family name in Japan. Dad nods slowly. "I…we're going to meet with Shotaro and his family," I flinch at the name but I know I need to remain strong. "To get the papers signed."

"We meaning the two of you?" Mom asks a slight hopefulness in her voice as she gestures between Dad and Kyoko. I take a deep breath and attempt to calm myself.

"N-n-noo," I reply and they turn to me surprised, I suppose they haven't heard me speak so well for a while. "I…I wa'…goi-nng…tttoo" I stutter and Mom puts a hand over her mouth as she holds back on a happy sob at seeing my improvement. I suppose it's different if you don't see me every day.

Dad is looking at me with a mix of pride and shock on his face, he points to me in a casual way. "First of all, I'm really proud of you that your speech has improved so much in such a short time. Secondly, no, I don't want to agree with that."

"Father," Kyoko tries to calm him down, "We were going to ask yo-"

"No. That monster snuck into Rose's school and tried to murder you with a baseball bat," Dad says and I feel nervous again. I know this. I just feel that I should be there when my life is being discussed. "Who knows what he'll try again and if not physically then I don't want to imagine how he'll act towards you as mental or psychological attacks."

"Kuu," Mom says trying to calm him and I look down.

I take a deep breath before it starts to feel worse and I try to take deep breaths. Suddenly what they are saying to me isn't translating and I feel like I'm going to be sick again. I feel myself slump over and fall onto the ground as there is a lot of static around me and then it turns black as I hear panicked voices saying my name.

….

….

_It's Christmas but more importantly it's Kyoko's birthday. I feel more comfortable taking a step back on this day. I've already wrapped a lot of presents and booked this penthouse hotel room for our trip here. I decided to take Kyoko and the girls to Kyoto and then Hokkaido to see the winter festival that's there but seeing Kyoko surrounded by friends in Tokyo makes me feel very happy. Apparently the chef here thinks that I'm some type of fake due to my refusal of food. Something about eating fish properly. He doesn't show dislike or displeasure for me though so maybe I'm imagining it._

"_Taisho. Okami-san," Kyoko says as she sits up and then gets up from the ground. "Let me help with the dishes, you've already given me so much today." She bows to them and Rose jumps up and copies her bow. I have Ana on my lap since she's a little too young to sit comfortably at a table this low without her pillows. _

"_Thank you for the food," Rose grins as she stands up._

_I smile my gratitude hoping that I can remain on their good side. Ana giggles and I wipe her face to get the crumbs off of it and a little sauce. "Truly, thank you," I try to say in a genuine manner and the Okami-san shakes her head._

"_We'll do the dishes," the Taisho says as he inspects my plate to make sure that I actually ate all of the food this time. This man scares me like few men do. "Just eat."_

"_Oh, that's right," Okami-san says as she goes to the kitchen and retrieves the traditional Christmas white cake with fruit but this time there are a lot of decorations and it reads Happy Birthday. I grin ad Kyoko looks to it excitedly. _

"_Happy Birthday," the Okami-san says happily and the Taisho nods with a smile before leaving. Rose joins in with singing the song and I sing it quietly holding onto Kyoko's hand. _

"_Come on," I wink to her, "Happy Birthday, princess. Now, blow out the candles and make your wish." _

_Kyoko looks up at me, she grins before her cheeks turn a little red. I have to admit that I'm slightly confused. _

"_Why would I need to make a wish?" she asks me and I open my mouth unsure how to respond to that. "Everything I could ever need is here. Thank you for making this day so special, Kuon, my Corn."_

_I smile as I watch her, she has no idea how much those words affect me. I want to make sure that each and every one of the following December 25__th__s are amazing for her. I really hope that nothing happens that prevents me from doing that for her. _

….

…..

I gently move Kuon so that he can safely have a seizure if there is any safe way of doing it. He hasn't been this stressed for a while and it scares me to think what might happen if he's face to face with Shotaro. Father's right. For his own protection I want to tell him that he has to stay home but this is his life and I don't want to control him.

As he starts to gain consciousness, I gently dab at his forehead with a wet cloth and let his head rest in my lap. "I'm here, sweetheart," I tell him as I see him starting to breathe normally again. Father looks guilty but I know that he's thinking the same thing. Father wasn't intending to attack him at all and yet this happened, being near to Shotaro will be even worse for him.

"Kuon," Father hesitates before kneeling down beside us. "Are you okay? You're not hurt or anything, right?" he asks needing to know the answer and I see Julie with tears in her eyes. Dad and I have witnessed it more often than Julie has and so we've gotten used to it as sad as that is to say.

"I…" Kuon says weakly, "o'ay," he struggles again and Father nods in a shaky manner.

"Maybe if I'm there too it'll be okay," Father says nervously opening up to the idea. I told him how important it is for Kuon and I can see both sides. I know that Father is extremely protective of Kuon especially helping him with his disabilities.

"We'll talk a little later," I nod to assure him. I hear a knock on the door and see Rose standing there. She has a little bit of an understanding on Kuon's condition and at least knows that her daddy feels tired a lot more often. Julie turns to Rose who is looking at all of us and shaking as she sees Kuon. I think she's only seen a seizure once and it scared her when she saw it. We try to keep her shielded from the tougher to understand parts of Kuon's condition.

"Rrr-o-ose?" Kuon asks as he sits up and Rose smiles before coming over to Kuon and throwing her arms around him. He pulls her close. Every morning he practices with the girls' names and they love that he's now able to say their names a little easier. Rose ignores the smell of the vomit and gently lifts Kuon's hand.

"Daddy can you watch Frozen with us?" she asks and Kuon nods. I help him to the wheelchair and then shoot an apologetic look at Kuu.

"I'm going to take ca-"

"I'll do that, I want to do something to help," Julie says and I thank her silently before going to start the movie. Ana comes over and hugs her daddy. I don't want either of them to know what just happened, the girls don't need to know any of this at least not until they are older.

"Let's watch the movie," I try to smile to the girls and Kuon gets himself to the sofa. Rose leans against one of Kuon's arms and holds his hand in hers whilst Ana curls up with her head on his lap. It's so adorable and I will destroy anyone hoping to take my family away from me. I see Father approach us and he watches the girls and Kuon and shortly after Julie joins us.

All of us just want the same thing. We want to spend time with the man we all love and for him not to have to go through any pain. Ana jumps up and goes to her toys where she picks up her Olaf toy and hands it to Kuon. She tilts her head to the side. "Daddy, you wanna hold a snowman?" she giggles and Kuon takes the toy and smiles as Ana climbs back up to his lap.

**End of Chapter Thirty Nine**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Thirty Eight

Kaname671, kyoko minion

_AN: I think I will do a scene where Kyoko talks with Sho's parents alone (thank you kyoko minion for the suggestion) and it's going to leave Sho alone with Kuu and Kuon where Kuu is completely overprotective. As for Kyoko's business, she's successful enough that she can run her business overseas but she's going to be making a Japanese side of things and Lory's going to help her there. _

_Kuon is improving rapidly so he should be showing more progress soon especially when he gets a decent therapist. _


	40. Chapter 40

**AN: **So I went to Disneyland for a week so my Skip Beat fics got a little neglected, thank you for your patience. I also said there would be another Christmas scene but I'm hurt/angry right now so I need to write this. (Maybe I'll throw in a Christmas bonus later on).

**Chapter Forty**

Was this a bad idea? This was a bad idea, wasn't it? I feel nervous but I need to concentrate. Both Dad and Kyoko are here and they have told me how proud they each are of my progress. I should be able to deal with but seeing his smug smile from the other side of the table makes me panic. I have to stand up for myself. If I can't be a strong person then I can't be strong for the girls either, I need to improve.

"So this is it?" Fuwa says as he casts a hand in my direction. I freeze and bow my head feeling uncomfortable again. "Seems like the great Tsuruga Ren really has changed."

I bow my head and try to control my breathing. Dad puts a hand on my shoulder to provide strength for me as Kyoko turns to Fuwa's parents who are staring at him disgusted by this attitude.

"If the defendant isn't able to show remorse for their actions, especially in view of the harm that they've done to Mr. Hizuri, we'll have to discuss further damages," Spenser tells them. I look at him nervously before bowing my head again.

"Did you want to leave? It's okay if we leave, right?" Dad says as he turns to Spenser who nods, looking at me to gauge my progress. I'm okay. I'll be okay. I just need to focus.

"I have a request," Fuwa's father says and I look at him nervously. Dad squeezes my shoulder protectively. "May the two of us speak to the two of you outside," he asks Dad and Kyoko. They both turn to me. Dad speaks first.

"If Kyoko wants to then she can but I am not leaving my son unprotected. I am going to remain with _my_ son to protect him against the monster that your son is." Dad says with a sharp tone. I take a shaky breath in before nodding. I can agree with that. I don't know if I will come out unscathed in a room alone with Fuwa and I need to fight for Kyoko, the girls, and even myself.

"I'll be right back," Kyoko says as she kisses me gently on the lips and then stands to leave the room. Dad brings his hand down to mine and grabs it, squeezing it again.

Fuwa starts laughing despite how our attorneys are both there and looking over paper work.

"Mr. Fuwa," the defense lawyer says, "I advise you to stay silent as anything you do say in these proceedings can still be used against you. We are hoping to reach a fair settlement here and I advise you again not to speak."

"But it's just so funny," Fuwa says as he leans back. "He's obviously a clown now. Look at the damage to his body. His inability to fu-"

"You," Dad says fiercely, his eyes having a fire within them. He points at Fuwa, "Listen to your lawyer as they have given you the best piece of advice. My son is not a joke, he has been hurt by your actions and all he's attempting to do is rebuild the world that you destroyed for him. I think that the settlement is generous for our side but if you dare to hurt or bully my son further then I am not sure how that will work out in your favor. I believe that it won't."

"Mr. Hizuri does have a point," Fuwa's lawyer says. "If you do continue to abuse Mr. Hizuri," he gestures to me, "then I don't know how much I can protect you in a court trial or how well I can represent you."

I pause and turn to Dad. He smiles at me in an attempt to be reassuring. Soon Kyoko will be back, I know that she'll remain strong but I don't want her to burn bridges that are important to her. I wish none of this was happening. I wish that we could go back to the day of the accident and change everything that happened. That is only a wish that will never come true.

KyKuKyKu

I turn to look at the door nervously, my heart is pounding as I believe that Shotaro will actually try to do something to Kuon despite the lawyers being there. I turn to look at Yayoi and her husband and take a deep breath in before relaxing. My eyes keep going to the door but I need to concentrate and trust Father. Father will always prioritize Kuon's safety and happiness.

"Kyoko, we really apologize for what that idiot I gave birth to has done to your family," Yayoi says with a deep bow and I feel guilty that she is the one apologizing to me. I look between Shotaro's parents and take a deep breath in.

"I am sorry too. I do need to press these charges and continue with the litigation however," I tell them. I don't want to seem ungrateful but did they see what he has done to my husband. "Did you ever see my husband on the TV or anything before we moved to America?" I ask. I know that they don't keep up with celebrities but even Taisho and Okami-san recognized Ren when they didn't know who Shotaro was.

"It's hard to miss Tsuruga Ren when he's on five different channels that our guests watch," Sho's father tells me and I bow my head before looking to the room.

"Kuon was at the height of his career when this happened, now he struggles to speak, has seizures, and has some amount of difficulty just with jobs that he could easily have accomplished in the past without any difficulty. Kuon may never recover to the point where he can hold a job or if he does it will probably not be in the field that he loves and has worked his whole life for. My husband loved being an actor, he was well known for it internationally, now he struggles to speak."

I feel myself shiver as I remind myself that in his current condition, the chances of Kuon returning to acting are very low. Then again, the chances of him surviving any of this was always very low.

"We do know this and we are happy to go along with the terms of the settlement," Yayoi says as her husband nods nervously, I'm not sure if he's exactly happy to be doing this but this will allow Kuon and I to have what we really need. A chance at a more quiet life for a while. "However, we do run a business and I hope that we can convince you that we're not bad people ourselves."

I look at them in shock. I never accused them of being bad people, I'm not sure where that idea came from but that was never my intention. "I am very thankful to both of you for taking me in when my own mother didn't want me," I tell them with another deep bow. "You cared for me when nobody else did and even though you wished for me to marry your son, the fact that you came to my wedding meant so much to me. I am happily married to Kuon but I feel I have your support on that. I didn't mean to drag you into this."

Shotaro's father shifts, "We would greatly appreciate it if you don't connect us or the hotel chain with our son. I know that the media might but if you could refrain from identifying the two of us or our business in any negative manner."

I stare at them and blink hard. No. This isn't their fault. It is the fault of their idiotic son. I open my mouth before nodding slowly. I don't know how to reply to that. I want the settlement but I would never intentionally harm them.

"I will agree to that, I believe that the settlement papers can be drawn up today. I also would like to continue your business with the ryokan, I understand that I will be connected to the two of you and will pay you part of the profits. I won't be able to do it until Kuon has recovered though and that is his choice as well," I shift nervously.

"Even if that doesn't happen," Yayoi tells me, "I do appreciate the offer, let me know what is decided by you and your husband and Kyoko, I do apologize for your husband's condition. I also want to tell you that we see how hard he is working to regain the life that our son stole from him."

I nod before bowing again and we return to the room. I stare at everyone at the table as Father now has his arm wrapped around Kuon's back but Kuon is smiling? I look to Father. I'm very glad that he came with us, he's always been protective of Kuon.

KYKUKYKU

I can't believe that this part is over. There are legal documents that are stating Shotaro is going to be held in a Japanese prison. We are getting enough money to cover Kuon's recovery period and hospital bills and there is also property involved. I know that I want to keep Shotaro's parents out of this as much as possible and Kuon is too sweet to want to hurt them. I put one of the three copies I made in a file for easy access, there's also one with Kuon's hospital bills, and I put the last one in the safe.

It's over and now all we have to focus on is recovery. It feels nice that we finally made it through the hard part. I make my way over to Kuon and drop down on my knees behind him but only so that I can wrap my arms around him.

"I love you," I tell him and he reaches back to take my hand. "Should we do something special for New Years?" I ask and he turns to me with a weak smile.

"Wi-wi-th…mmm-y..Mm-ommm a—n' Ddda'?" he asks hopefully and I nod. I love spending time as the six of us and I don't think Kuu or Julie is going to say no to this request especially since we'll be leaving to live in Japan at some point next year.

"Yes," I nod with a happy grin, "That sounds like a really good plan," I nuzzle his neck. "I am extremely proud of you. I hope that you know that."

**End of Chapter Forty**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

**Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Thirty Nine**

H-Nala, Kaname671


	41. Chapter 41

**AN: **Girls will play a major part next chapter. Also, as much as I'm loving CH 279, I feel cautious about CH 280. It's going better than I thought but there is still the possibility of them getting interrupted or her rejecting him, so….have to be careful and guard my heart as much as Kyoko does.

**Chapter Forty One**

There is a lot going on tomorrow, many New Years parties but I'm glad that the girls are happy just being with us and their grandparents at home and enjoying sparklers instead of huge fireworks. I'm also glad that Father prioritized spending New Years with us over the exclusive parties that both he and Julie-san were invited to. Hopefully it'll be just one of many exciting occasions ahead of us.

At the time being though, Kuon and I are sitting outside a psychologist's office. Matt Archer. We've both read up on him, although he hasn't specialized in head trauma, he has done some focus on memories and worked with a lot of celebrities and sports players. I just don't want someone trying to tear down Kuon. I look over at Kuon who has a walker beside him. He claims to be okay without the wheelchair – although I snuck it into the back of the car anyway – but I'm going to be scared if he doesn't have _some _support. I also know that I'll be going into this first meeting with him especially after the last person we tried.

There is the sound of the door being opened and both Kuon and I look up to see a man about ten or fifteen years older than Kuon with a healthy body, bald patch in the middle of his head, glasses, but a positive smile across his face that makes the fact that he would look out of place on the cover of a romance magazine not matter as much. Well, he looks intelligent and down to earth, that's who we need right now.

"Mr. Hizuri, Kuon, it's nice to meet you," Matt says before holding his hand out to Kuon who nervously takes it.

"Kkk-uo'..nn'sss …ffi'" Kuon replies and Matt grins.

"Okay. We'll go with Kuon and feel free to call me Matt, now, this beautiful woman here must be your wife," he says and I pause and look to Kuon nervously. He's not hitting on me is he? I take a quick breath in as he offers me his hand and I shake it before seeing a wedding ring there.

"Kyoko Hizuri," I tell him before seeing a wedding picture of him and…his husband? He's gay? At least I know that he's not hitting on me. He's just trying to be polite and gentlemanly.

"How about we head into the room. Kuon," he says and Kuon looks up awkwardly. "It's your choice whether we have your wife sit in with us today. I do encourage that Kuon and myself do most of the talking," he says to me which I agree with, "however, if you both feel comfortable with having you, Kyoko, be an observer."

"Ye-Ye-ss" Kuon says and reaches back for my hand. I squeeze it and then kiss his cheek, helping him to the walker. He looks down embarrassed a little but at least this is a lot better so far from the previous therapist.

….

….

I don't really know how to act, I've always felt in control of the situation but I'm meeting someone who could either help me or hurt me more. I hate to admit that but people's opinions hurt a lot more now that I'm not sure how to act anymore. Matt shows me to the room and gestures to the couch, Kyoko tries to help me down being her very protective self as always.

"So, how is today going? How do you feel right now? Could I get you something to drink, tea, water, coffee?" Matt says, he sounds nervous but maybe he's just trying to be humble or hopefully he's not a fan needing to only get close to me. I look to Kyoko.

"I ca'—can' hh-a' …ccaff..ei'" I struggle to say and Kyoko grabs my hand and smiles.

Matt nods, "Not a problem," he says not mentioning the way that I can't speak very well. The previous therapist we went to made fun of me or was impatient but Matt just seems to treat it as normally as Kyoko and Dad do. "We have some decaffeinated tea and coffee."

"TTea?" I ask trying to speak slowly so that it makes more sense.

"Okay, we have black and green decaffeinated tea," Matt says and shows me the packages, I gesture to the green tea and Kyoko smiles. She looks excited.

"I'll have the same," she tells him before hugging me and I hear her holding back her tears, hopefully I haven't disappointed or embarrassed her. Matt goes to make the tea but comes right back to us whilst it's brewing.

"It'll be done soon. So, I just want to get some background information if that's okay. I've read some of the news reports but since you haven't given any media statements and very few interviews there are a lot of empty gaps on the timeline. Besides, I prefer hearing it from my clients anyway," he looks eager but genuine, "So, when did this all start."

"Ju-une?" I ask and look to Kyoko who nods. "I—I wa—the-I…" I look down frustrated, I don't really know where to start off with this. "We…were goi' to ha' llu-n'" I tell him. "Kyoko," I smile as how I've been managed to get Kyoko's name perfect even with my bad speech, I turn to her and see her blush at hearing it. "go—herrr…sh'" I gesture to my own shoe, "wa' s'uck. I…wan'ed he'…her" I close my eyes starting to feel a little overwhelmed. Matt seems to acknowledge this.

"Would it help if Kyoko completed the rest of the story, I don't want to put you on the spot," he tries to say and I nod before turning to my princess and she smiles and sits up straighter as Matt returns with the tea.

"Kuon and I were going to have lunch that day with our daughters, just a nice family lunch time but there was an incident and I got my shoe lodged in the pavement. I made sure that our daughters were both with their dad whilst I tried to get free. I couldn't do it and there was a bus that wasn't slowing down and then," Kyoko bows her head and quickly sobs before pulling out her handkerchief and drying her eyes. "Kuon's body was hit instead. They had to do surgery on his brain. That's where the cuts on his face came from. He saved my life and the doctors thought that he would die before they could treat him. He was in a coma for three months."

I feel guilty as I watch her. If it was up to me then I would have never left her for those three months.

KyKyKyKy

As I take the tea, I feel that this man, Matt, will be a help to us. Maybe we should have always gone with a male psychologist or am I being sexist or worse jealous and insecure. I turn to Kuon. He seems to feel safe enough to talk and my heart always seems to explode each time I hear him say my name. I dry my eyes again and know to continue with the retelling of the hardest year of our lives.

"Kuon was able to come home soon after that but he got really sick when our daughter got a common cold, I didn't know how much just flu bugs would cause him pain. He was attacked again inside of a hospital room but no lasting injuries. After he came home, he made rapid progress until early November when we went to our daughter's open house and that's when the man who had hurt us before attempted to murder Kuon and it was a miracle that he survived. He came home after Thanksgiving and that's where we are now. We managed to get the paperwork for the settlement with the attacker handled a couple of days ago." I take a deep breath. There's a lot more to the story but that is for Kuon to talk about if he wants to.

"So," Matt says as he looks between us, "All of that happened within the last six months? Two major head injuries, one a road accident, the second was an attempted murder, plus there has been the virus, and you're still sitting here on the sofa talking to me. Very impressive," Matt nods and I grin to Kuon before turning back to Matt.

"Isn't he? He won't believe how impressive he really is," I try to praise Kuon who bows his head to avoid direct eye contact with us.

"So," Matt says as he turns to Kuon, "What is the ideal outcome in your opinion? What is the one thing that you most want to work towards as our goal?"

"I wa'…." Kuon says before I see how insecure he is. Even if he says he wants to be an actor then we can work towards that goal and hopefully make it. I nod to him hoping that it encourages him. "Be a goo' hus'an and fath-ther."

I blink. He's already an amazing husband and father, what is he talking about?

"Do you think that you're not a good husband and father?" Matt asks and Kuon nods. I blink in shock. What is going on right now? Kuon should know how loved he is. He needs to understand that we all support him. I pause and look at him sadly.

"I can' in'er…ac' wi….mmmy…wi'" Kuon tries to say and Matt watches him. What is Kuon talking about? We interact in romantic ways all the time. "I neg'ec….my gi'rlss"

"You're not neglecting them," I tell him unable to sit silently when he's saying this. "You spend as much time as you're able to with them and maybe they don't understand every single element of your illness but they still know that although their daddy has to see a doctor, he's trying so so hard to get better. They don't feel neglected. They miss you, the old you, but that doesn't mean that they don't love you or think that you don't love them. You're a great dad, Kuon." I turn to Matt. "He really is a kind, loving, and supportive father."

"I can believe that," Matt says and I take a breath of relief. "A neglectful father wouldn't put his daughters as one of his top priorities. He wouldn't be bringing up the subject of feeling guilty that his physical and psychological injuries are hurting his children. You care so much about your daughters and I can already see that. Do you think that's true?" Matt asks and Kuon nods silently. "However, let's make your being able to spend gradually longer periods of time with your family one of our goals. Does that sound fair?"

Kuon nods again before looking at his hands, "I le' the-mm…ddddow'"

"You haven't let anyone down. We are all so proud of you," I try to tell him to reassure him of our shared love. "Think about this, you've improved so much in just over a _month_. It's incredible. I know how hard you're working to make things as normal as possible and I know that you worked so hard so that you can say my name clearly as well as Ana's and Rose's even when you are going through personal stress."

"Ttheyy….dddeser' a…ffa'er" Kuon argues and I can see that he's mentally getting tired.

"They already_ have_ a father that they love so much and who loves and supports them unconditionally. They already have a father who wants to spend time with them and has sat at princess tea parties and watched princess movies with them. You accept Ana and Rose for the unique people that they are and don't make an attempt to make them anyone else. You are so loved by them, Kuon."

He smiles to me and nods, not arguing on that point and I look to him again.

"And I love you. I'm so proud to be your wife and I think you're amazing, the strength that you've used to heal during this time, a period where doctors said you'd either never recover from or it would take multiple years, it's incredible." I shiver again and feel the tears in my eyes. "I almost lost you more than once. I was never truly lucky before I met you but now, as long as you're alive and the girls are safe and happy, I don't need anything else."

Kuon looks to me in a questioning manner before pulling me closer to him, I close my eyes as I rest my head on his chest. "I lovvve you," he tells me, speaking slowly and with deliberation but hearing those words means everything to me.

"I love you too," I tell him. "I always will."

**End of Chapter Forty One**

**Thank you for reading**

**Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Forty**

Kaname671, kyoko minion


	42. Chapter 42

**AN: **I'm hoping to do the Christmas flashbacks next chapter before doing a time skip to a celebration that the whole family really wants to do (aside Kuon who is neutral to it) and is just before Valentines Day.

**Chapter Forty Two**

I turn to Julie with a grin as I stand outside the house with the girls. I've told them that we're going to be spending the evening together and there is going to be good food and sparklers and maybe a few fireworks since we can launch some of the smaller ones in our large backyard. I also told them that their Daddy might need to rest just a little longer today to prepare for this afternoon. The girls have been amazing when taking into consideration Kuon's illness.

"Can we give Daddy a gift?" Rose asks and Julie smiles as she starts to organize the items for tonight so we can have fun with the girls. I blink and tilt my head to the side.

"What kind of gift were you thinking of, Rose?" I ask with a smile. I am so appreciative that the two of them still adore Kuon. I know that he's had to keep his distance and refocus his priorities this year and he might seem very different from the active, positive, and happy man that they grew up with. He's trying his hardest though.

"Well, we picked something out," Rose tells me and I continue to watch her.

Ana points to Julie, "Grandma have it," she grins and I look to Julie. The girls are looking at her expectantly and I wonder why they have kept it secret from me. I would feel guilty to say that they couldn't give a gift to their own dad especially since Julie approved of it.

"I think that we can give it to him," I tell them. "Thank you so much for thinking of Daddy."

"We didn't wrap it yet," Rose says nervously and I nod, following her words. Julie gestures that she'll be right back and I look to the two girls.

"That's okay. We can wrap it together," I nod before placing a hand on each of the girls' shoulders. 'Thank you so much for being so considerate and understanding. Thank you for being so nice to Daddy."

"I love Daddy," Ana announces and I grin. I try to stop the tears from pricking in my eyes. The girls are too young to understand everything which is happening to their father but even if they can't grasp all of it, they still want to show Kuon how much they care.

"We both love Daddy very much," Rose tells me as she looks to her sister who nods in agreement.

Julie approaches us and I see that there is a Disney store bag in her hand and I see something with a droopy black ear and yellow and black nose poking out of it. I smile as Julie hands me the toy and I see that it's a toy Pluto but his collar has fireworks on it and it reads 'Happy New Year'. I look at his tag and see it says Pluto on one side and then on the other has next year's year. I look at the toy dog, this looks like a larger size as well.

"This is amazing," I tell them with a grin. "Daddy is going to love him."

"Really?" Ana asks and I nod as I turn Pluto to face me. It's actually a really great idea for the girls to have chosen something like this for him. Pluto will be able to sit on my pillow or on the floor besides Kuon's side of the bed. If he sees the dog or touches him, he'll be reminded that our daughter's still really love him. He's fighting so hard to get back to the person he was before the accident and maybe he never will fully be that person again but he's trying for us.

"So," I tell them as I put Pluto back in the bag. "I'm sorry that I didn't ask you girls this before but how are you feeling about the plan of moving to Japan. I'm going to be working with you on your Japanese before we move. You still remember what me and Daddy and Grandpa have taught you, right?"

"Yeah," Rose nods before moving anxiously, "Most of it. It'll make Daddy happy, right?"

"I think Daddy will hea-" I start to respond but Ana interrupts me.

"I know this much," she tells me before spreading her arms out wide. I laugh and kiss her forehead.

"Maybe you can teach me some?" I joke and Ana nods excitedly. I look back at Rose again. "I think it will be a lot quieter there and that will help Daddy. Plus, we'll be able to show you where we met."

"And fell in love," Rose smiles and I nod before kissing her head again.

"Ye—ah," I hear a voice behind me and immediately give Julie the present so that she can take it indoors where I can wrap it up with the girls. "I…hhho' yy—ou…li-likke ii-" Kuon struggles again but he's interacting with us. He's trying so hard.

Without saying anything, Rose runs and grabs hold of Kuon's leg. Kuon crouches down and as Ana runs over, he pulls both girls into a loving embrace. He squeezes them close to him and Rose smiles blissfully as she lets her head rest on Kuon's shoulder. I'm so happy that he's been able to recover so so much.

KyKuKyKu

I hate to admit that I was a little nervous about today but it's felt amazing. Being done with that….person has helped ease my anxiety and that has helped me heal a little faster as well. I have to believe in those positives. Kyoko made dinner to celebrate the end of the year and how grateful we are to all be together and the girls have just played with sparklers or rather Rose played with one and then Dad played with one with Ana very carefully. I can't even begin to relate how grateful I am for the way my parents have been during my injury and disability.

Dad sits down next to me as the girls and Mom go to a towel and I can see Kyoko starting some small fireworks. I love how independent she is. However, she is still overprotective. I offered to light them but she's worried about me not moving in time and then dying from the explosion. She's got a fair point.

"There's something that I want to ask you," he says and I blink. I gesture for him to sit down and Dad passes me some warm tea. I take it and nod. My parents have agreed with the no alcohol night although I know that I'm the only one who can't have it.

"Okk-ay" I nod, stuttering a little.

"Would you be okay if Julie and I moved with you four to Japan. I don't want to hinder your dreams but we're going to be pretty lonely without you there." Dad says and I look at him, I open my mouth to ask him for the details and he shakes his head. "Right now it's just talk but sometime soon. I'm thinking about doing some projects in Japan and I think if it came to seeing her family board a plane and live off their dreams without her whilst she models and acts and her joining that family and working from home, I know that she'd want us to stay together.'

I freeze. I didn't consider how heartbroken they might be for all of us to just leave. I look at Dad and he sees how guilty I look.

"I think Japan is a better place to heal, it's quieter and generally more respectful there," Dad says and I pause and nod. "It's best for you to be there but we want to be with you too. Would that be okay?"

"Tha-tt…ssoun'…" I turn to him and smile weakly, "Thhan' you"

Dad playfully ruffles my still short hair. "No, thank you. You've worked so hard just to stay alive. We are so proud of you, Kuon. I don't think we can even begin to explain how proud of you we are. So we'll just have to do a housing search."

"Co—comme…li-v—ve wi'…usss" I tell him. I mean, we have a huge inn that can accommodate dozens of people, it would make me feel better if Dad was there too.

"I wouldn't want to intrude on you or Kyoko," Dad says. Before the fireworks are lit, Kyoko looks in our direction and stands, tilting her head as she studies the two of us. I gesture for her to come over and she quickly comes towards us.

"Are you okay? Are you feeling warm enough? Are you too cold? They aren't lit yet so if you're feeling uncomfo-" Kyoko says quickly trying to make sure that I'm okay and I gesture to Dad. Kyoko blinks as she looks between us.

"Ttte-ll hh-er" I smile to Dad who sighs.

"Julie and I are planning on moving back to Japan when you four go, I was just telling Kuon that I would search for a place to live but he said that, if you aren't put out, that we-"

"I would love to live with you Father!" Kyoko squeals as she hugs him and I bow my head. It's going to take a lot of hard work to get there but I think this is all turning out for the best. "So, the girls wanted to give you a New Years gift before we set the fireworks off," Kyoko says and I see Ana and Rose rushing up with a wrapped gift.

I smile as they grin to me. I am so thankful for them. I don't think I could have survived the heartbreak of them being scared to get close to me or them feeling that I hated them or that I didn't love them because these are my daughters, my princesses. I love them unconditionally and infinitely.

"Here," Ana says as she pushes the parcel to me.

"We thought you'd like it," Rose smiles and I start to open the paper. I see that it's something Disney and then see a plush toy inside. I smile as I take a look at it. I don't think I've smiled like this for a while. I pull him out and sit him on my lap. I take a look at the tag and then turn him around to face them.

"Tttha—an' yy-ou….I ll-ovv-e hi-I'" I tell them and the girls give each other a side hug as they study me. It's the truth. I truly love this toy and I feel that he's going to provide me with a lot of comfort. I reach for Ana and Rose and then kneel down with them, being mindful not to get their gift dirty. I wrap my arms around both of them. "Ana," I smile as I kiss her forehead, "R-Rose," I say again as I kiss Rose's forehead and they both giggle. "I ll-ovve y-you bo-tth" I tell them and they smile again.

It's such a thoughtful gift and I love them for it. I love that even when I can't accept who I've become, my girls can. There is nothing in this world that I'm more grateful for than Kyoko and these two little girls.

**End of Chapter Forty Two**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Forty One

Kaname671, kyoko minion


	43. Chapter 43

**AN: **Just a short Christmas bonus 😊 It's a shorter chapter, all flashback but I hope you enjoy it

**Chapter Forty Three**

_Daddy always has a way of making Mommy have that huge smile on her face at Christmas. He always tries to do whatever she wants and he spoils her. I think that's what a prince does. At least in all of the books that I've read, that's what a prince does. This year we are spending time in Tokyo and going to Kyoto for New Years. There are some very pretty places here._

"_Rose," Daddy says as he comes up to me with that huge grin on his face and I laugh happily before he scoops me up. "Are you ready to go to an amazing restaurant?" he asks and I see Mommy holding Ana in her arms. Ana's the youngest so she can be babied. I'm the big sister._

"_Are you sure that it's okay to go there?" Mommy says eagerly and Daddy turns to her with a raised eyebrow. Yeah, is she serious? Daddy put this all together so it must be a lot of fun._

"_It's home. I've arranged for some guests and yes, I did make sure to pay them for the expense but they would only take a small bit of what I offered. They love you but not more than I do," he says and Mommy looks at him with a look to say that she knows that already. Nobody loves Daddy more than Mommy. Nobody loves Mommy more than Daddy. _

"_Okay. Don't eat more than you feel comfortable with because you're attempting to impress Taisho again," Mommy teases and Daddy laughs before getting my shoes. _

"_I'm excited," I tell them and Daddy hugs me._

"_Well, it's worth all of the excitement," he tells me. "These people are very important to Mommy. You've met them before but I don't think you would remember them. Okami-san has always been kind to us and then Taisho…let's say he's a guy who's worth trying to impress," he laughs awkwardly. Mommy has one arm holding Ana to her shoulder and the other is on her hip._

"_You don't have to go so far to impress him. I know that he intimidates you. He's one of the few people who intimidate you, Kuon."_

_Daddy laughs and I run to get my coat and my shoes. Daddy said that today we get to celebrate Mommy and he arranged a special meal. I hope the food is special too. Mommy always says that this food is amazing and yummy. We leave to go out of the hotel room we're staying in. I like Tokyo a lot._

…

…

_As we drive up to the restaurant, I see that there are lots of colorful signs and balloons. There are also Christmas stars and snowflakes but no pictures of Santa or penguins or reindeer. Daddy parks the car and as Mommy gets Ana from her car seat, Daddy comes to take my hand. I love holding Daddys hand. _

_He walks over to Mommy and puts an arm around her. Ana blinks and looks around, sleepy as always. As we take a couple of steps towards the restaurant there are a lot of people who appear. I remember some of them, the acting boss, Maria, Koko or Moko, and lots of other people and Uncle Yashiro. There's a large cake in the middle as well and then they all call out together._

"_Happy Birthday, Kyoko-chan." _

**End of Chapter Forty Three**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Forty Two

Kaname671


	44. Chapter 44

**Chapter Forty Four**

I smile weakly as I reach for the pill trays that Kyoko got me for my medication. There are a lot of medicines that I still have to take and although my movements have recovered a lot, along with my speech, I do have to have drugs through my body. I look at the two trays before seeing the label Kyoko made where she drew a little picture of herself saying 'Take these when you wake up' or 'Take these before you go to sleep.'

I can't even explain to her how sweet I find it that she tries so hard for me. Without her, I might forget to fill these cases but she asks me to give them to her each week so that she can fill them up again. I'm sure that there's a whole folder full of medical files. As I take the six pills I have to take every morning out and then get a glass of water, I feel something behind me and then feel a pair of arms embracing me close.

"Corn," she grins up at me. She looks like she's in a really good mood, maybe a good dream or something.

"H-hey," I smile before finishing the last of the pills. I grin to her, "You're cu-cutte…to-dday" I speak slowly, still stumbling on some of my words. Everyone has said that I'm quite scary and impressive with how far I've come but I keep seeing how far I have left to go. "Wha-tt's…go-inng onn?"

"I'm really happy because it's finally here," she says, "only the second most important birthday," she grins and I roll my eyes. She always seems to gloat that she knew my real birthday all along. Kuon Hizuri's birthday is on February 19th whilst Ren Tsuruga's birthday is on February 10th.

I raise an eyebrow before smiling weakly, I know that my face is still messed up and my smile isn't the same as the ones I had before the accident but maybe it's okay that I'm not quite as composed as I was as an actor. "Rr-eally?" I ask her. I take a step back feeling a little uneasy and reach for a low stool so I can sit. Kyoko squats in front of me.

"Well, maybe Ren can be fourth," she winks before taking my hand in hers. "Are you feeling okay?" she asks concerned. "It's really okay for you to ask for help when you need it. I'm always here for you."

"I…I'mm…ok-ay" I laugh weakly before looking into her eyes. She leans up to me, kissing me passionately on the lips. "I ju-just get…titired ea-easily."

"I know you do, sweetheart," she says as she lets her fingers go through the longer strands of blond hair. "Did you want me to get breakfast started or do you want to go back to bed first?" she asks and I can't help but smile. "Can't I be excited to start my week of celebrating the most amazing person in my life?" she asks and I weakly smile. She makes a big event of all three days in what she calls the week of Hizuri Kuon.

First of all, there's today which is February 10th. This is the day when she usually tells me about my work as a career, how we met in Tokyo, she gives me something that is to do with acting and we spend the day watching movies, and yes, there are presents. The second day Kyoko celebrates is Valentine's Day, February 14th. She's often told me that she wants to celebrate it in a Japanese fashion where she gets me a gift and I get her something later on White Day. I'm pretty sure that it's not because she wants to have Japanese traditional culture at all, I think its because I try to deflect any attention on Christmas. Then the main event is the third day meaning that this week is more like two. February 19th, the day that Hizuri Kuon was born.

I smile. I'm sure that she's spent hundreds, if not thousands of dollars this year as well just trying to spoil me. All that I need though is her in my arms. A bonus would be any kiss or romantic experience with her but just her, here with me, that's all I ask for. I guess, since we were both busy working on all those other years, it's been a selfish request for me to make.

"There's…" I speak slowly again so that I can try not to stutter, it takes a lot of difficulty sometimes but I am improving quickly, "no bi-gg ppp-artt-y, ri-ght?"

"No, but there is a party. I think there are eight people on the guest list but if that's a bit too much then I'm sure that they can be persuaded to make it smaller." I look at her and blink, eight? She has eight people that she has invited? "Me and the girls, Father and Julie-san, then Maria and Boss-sama wanted to come, and I thought that you'd want Yashiro to be there."

I smile. Those are all people who are like family to me. Hopefully they've forgiven me for not treating them as well or as kindly as I should have last year. There have been some years with fifty or more people at a party. I'm glad that she's made this year more intimate. "Soundds good."

Kyoko moves so that she's kneeling in front of me, she places her hands on my shoulders before drawing closer. She kisses my lips passionately and then slowly draws back. "I will never be able to find how to truly express how much I love you and how amazing you are. You could have died numerous times last year. I could have," she kisses me again and this time slowly stands so she can throw her arms around my neck, "I could have lost you. I am so proud of you and feel the world has been so generous to me that I get to keep you."

I smile to her and she pulls back. I see tears in her eyes and she sniffs softly. "Do you know how impressive it is that you're not somebody else, you still get to be the same Kuon I fell in love with. However, even if you had changed into someone else, I would still be in love with you. You're doing so well with the difficulties you're facing and I'm here for you," she tells me.

"A sllo-wer Kk-uon" I tell her meaning it in a number of ways but she shakes her head. I take a shaky breath in and inhale deeply, she turns to me looking concerned. "The ne-new medd-ication I-I'm takk-ing, one of th-e siddde effe-cts."

"Nothing can make me stop loving you," Kyoko reminds me and I shake my head. I wasn't worried about that.

"Incr-cr-eased appppetite" I stutter and grin as I see the amused look on her face. She finally gets her wish to see me eat more. Hopefully this doesn't mean that I'll gain a lot of weight. She pushes my hair back again.

"Happy Birthday, Tsuruga-sempai," she jokes with me before kissing my forehead, she then kisses my nose, and ends on my lips. I always knew that there was a little Natsu in her even when she was younger, she brought that out at the Dark Moon wrap party but I never knew how much I'd hunger for it or how lucky I would be to receive it.

…

…

As I make the breakfast for us, I see Kuon get up and start putting the medication back in his cupboard where the dietary bars are along with medical equipment, notes, other items. He puts his hand to them and turns to me. There's a schedule of all the therapy that he still has to do but because of his progress he only has to see the speech therapist once or twice a week depending on the anxiety he has at the time.

I know that this day is special just for me and him, Yashiro usually texts and then the president has usually made jokes about it. There's also something on Japanese TV celebrating him but even though it's not his actual birthday, this is still a day to celebrate. Without Kuon there would be no Ren but without Ren, would Kuon have even survived.

"How are pancakes?" I ask him and he smiles to me.

"Ggg-ood" he nods. He's improved so much from last year. I feel a little excited about his appetite increasing. I don't know if that's a good thing or not. It's not meant to poke fun at him but I can just imagine Kuon eating a cake or a cookie or pudding. He'll be so cute. I smile as I turn to him and see his curious emerald eyes watching me. The doctors say in a couple of weeks he'll have the okay to have plastic surgery on his face to get rid of the scars. His hair is also starting to grow over the part where that evil demon hit him with a bat. He's doing so well.

"I think that we might be ready to move to Japan after the school year ends in June. That way the girls can start their new school in Kyoto. Rose is really excited," I tell him and he smiles. He looks around and I know that nostalgic feeling of leaving this home, a home where we raised our daughters but we're not selling the house. We can own both properties. We have a bank account where years of acting worth of money has been deposited and we also have all the residuals. Then there's my fashion business where the president is helping me with turning it international and leaving my vice-president to run the operations over here. We'll be fine. I know that Father and Julie-san are keeping their house too, the house where little Kuon grew up in.

"We can spend summers here, winter vacations," I suggest and he nods. "We're not leaving forever."

"Kyoko," he says turning to me before looking away, "Nnev-ver mi-nnd."

"Do you want something other than pancakes?" I ask him quickly and he raises an eyebrow as he looks at me before shaking his head. I walk over to him. I would give him anything. He saved my life without hesitation and he's always been my most supportive fan.

"Ddoo…you th-thinkk it w-w-woul-dd be self-ish to want to acct?" he asks me as he looks up hopefully.

I smile to him. I believe in him. I know that if that's what he really wants then he'll be able to do it. I smile to him and wrap my arms around him again. "Not selfish at all," I tell him. It won't mean that I won't be able to be a fashion designer anymore, it'll just mean that we both get to get back on track to our dreams. "If anyone can do it, you can," I try to encourage him.

I smile. That's what I hope to give to him next year, a chance for him to act. His appearance can be improved by cosmetic surgery, his brain functioning is already improving, he's recovering at a much faster speed and Japan is going to be able to offer him _something_. I pause before going to the door. "I'll be right back," I promise him.

Maybe that phone call with Yashiro should come a little bit earlier than planned, maybe with the president too. It might take months to really set it up but I want him to be able to stand in front of a camera again with pride. That's one thing about being in love. You would do anything to help the one you love get their ultimate happiness.

**End of Chapter Forty Four**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated **


	45. Chapter 45

**AN: If you read this before I forgot to change Kuon's speech at the end to affected speech. Oops**

**Chapter Forty Five**

I hold the phone to my cheek. I know that I'll probably need to just leave a message and he'll call me back but if I can do anything at all to help Kuon, I want to. Kuon landed himself in this position because he saved my life. If I can continue helping him to enjoy life then I want to. I take a deep breath before hearing the voice of the man that I was calling.

"Kyoko," he laughs happily before his voice turns serious, "Wait. You're not going to tell me that Kuon's condition has relapsed, that the party is cancelled, that he's gotten worse."

I take a deep breath and sit. I put one hand to my heart whilst the other knocks three times against a wooden surface. I don't want to hear those words. I don't want to imagine those thoughts. Kuon _has_ to keep improving and healing and getting better.

"No. He's okay. He's doing really really well," I try to tell the president before looking away. I need to keep repeating those words in my head. Compared to only a few months ago, Kuon is no longer at death's door, he's healing. "But, yes, this phone call is on his behalf. Kuon told me that when he heals, if his condition permits it, he'd like to try acting again." I close my eyes, hopefully this isn't asking too much or speaking above my position. "I was hoping that you -"

"Would help him improve his techniques again?" the president asks and I slowly breathe out. Maybe what I'm about to ask for is really too much? I mean, if the president doesn't have the same amount of faith in Kuon that I have and most probably Father has as well then asking for him to reenter LME is presumptuous of me.

"No. I was hoping that you would allow him to audition for LME? We'll be moving back to Japan anyway and even if it's just the chance of an audi-" I try to ask this politely but the president cuts me off before I can finish my thoughts.

"Why would I do that?" the president asks and my back straightens.

"Don't think badly of him," I try to argue. "Nobody thought that he would improve as much as he has in such a short time. He might have some disabilities, some difficulties in doing things that he did in the past but he still knows all the techniques, he can still deliver lines better than most actors out there despite how hard it sometimes is for him to get his words out clear-"

"And you're misunderstanding me," the president chuckles. "Why would I waste both my time and Kuon's time with an audition process. The man has won what people call the most prestigious award in acting. Once he recovers enough to the point where I feel confident in him, he'll be part of our LME family with no conditions. Well, even though he's not a young adult any longer or even a man in his twenties, I would feel more comfortable if he had a manager to be with him in case something happened. I'm sure everyone who works with him would understand that."

I take a deep breath in. Okay. Maybe I was quick to judgment again but I can't help it when it concerns Kuon. I smile as I bow my head and feel excited. Kuon just has to continue working hard and he'll be allowed to attain his dreams. I'm so proud of him.

"Thank you," I tell him and the president sighs in a pleasant manner.

"No. Thank him, many would sacrifice a lot to have the former Ren Tsuruga as part of their agency. You know that Kuon is like family to me. I will do anything to help him achieve his dreams and I'm impressed by him every day that he keeps working hard for your family."

I smile, "I know," I reply, not sure what else to say. I really do know how happy we all are, how impressed we all are by him, how much pride he brings to all of us even if he's sometimes too shortsighted to see it in himself. I really know how hard he's working and thrilled that all that hard work is finally paying off.

KyKuKyKuKy

_I don't know what presents are adequate for Valentine's Day. I realize now that I have never truly been someone's girlfriend before and though I felt an unwavering devotion to Shotaro for many years, the situation was much different. If Sho hadn't liked my present when I was living with him and his family then they couldn't kick me out. Is there a repercussion if I get Re—Kuon the wrong gift?_

_I sit in front of the TV but I'm not watching it, instead I am staring at the ground and frowning. What am I supposed to get for him? That being said, his birthday is less than a week away, only a few days. Yes, I've bought him a gift but is it enough for a man who has everything? I freeze as he hands me a cup of tea and looks at me suspiciously. Has he developed the ability to read minds along with his vast range of other skills._

"_Kyoko," he says as he looks to me and I raise my head to see that, he's already taken his contacts out tonight. His emerald eyes are so enchanting and the fact that only the president, the muse, and I are allowed to see the true Kuon is absolutely thrilling. "I want to apologize for what I'm about to tell you. I should have probably told you this beforehand but I think it's important for you to know -"_

"_Did I do something wrong?" I ask and he shakes his head, looking surprised that I even asked that. "if I did something that you didn't like, can I at least have a chance to fix it before we -" he raises his hand and shakes his head._

"_I'm not breaking up with you," he tells me and I blink before exhaling in relief. "No. I lied to you, not just you, all of Japan well…apart from the president." I stare at him. He's got ANOTHER secret identity? He's a spy for the FBI or something? "My birthday," he says before sighing, "the date that you know is wrong."_

_I pause. It's wrong? I got it wrong last year too. I know that acting under a stage name isn't unusual but changing your birthday every year, there has to be a rule prohibiting that because it's just not fair for people who want to buy you gifts._

"_When?" I ask, "Don't tell me that I just let it pass and didn't say anything about it. I'm sorr-" I begin to apologize but he cuts me off._

"_February 19__th__," he tells me and I blink at him. Wait? His birthday really is the 19__th__? Everyone kept telling me that I was wrong, he even went along with them saying I was wrong. I blink at him. "Yes, I know what you're thinking, when I made my debut the president put the date in correctly but I didn't want to risk it. If someone did a report on my father and managed to find out the date of his son's birth down to the year and searched that up, they would find that I was born on the exact same date. When I asked the president if he could change it, he said that I had two choices, the 18__th__ or the 10__th__ because those would be easy to call mistakes, I chose the 10__th__ because it was further away from my actual birthday."_

_I blink at him. He sounds serious and I can follow and understand his story. Does this mean that he's been alone on each birthday with only the president able to wish him a happy birthday. I look down. "So you have two birthdays," I tell him and he looks at me cautiously._

"_No, just the one," he corrects me but I shake my head. "Just the 19__th__. Just like everyone else, I was only born once." _

_I shake my head before smiling at him, "I'm choosing to celebrate both," I tell him and he opens his mouth to protest. "Now I just need to find you another gift." He opens his mouth to argue but I deliver him a look telling him to just go along with it. He nods and sits down opposite me. I just get to celebrate him twice as much. That is a resolution that I'm more than happy with._

KyKuKyKuKy

I know what she's doing and I don't deserve it. I don't know who she thinks that I am but I don't think it's the person I've become. I take a deep breath and push my hand over my head, flinching as I touch the grove in my skull. I am probably the luckiest man ever to even be alive after what has happened. I feel a sadness inside of me as I think of the other birthdays which we've celebrated.

I don't notice that the air in the room gets cold around me, I guess I become blind to those things. It sounds selfish of me that I do so. It's not until I see her enter the room and freeze, her smile fading that I realize that my outside must be reflecting those thoughts inside.

"Do you want to go back to bed?" she says as she comes closer to me. She kneels down before me and feels my forehead. "Slight fever but nothing too high," she says and I feel that she's talking to herself and not really to me. "Breakfast can wait until you fe-"

"Wh-Why?" I ask not even knowing the rest of that question.

Kyoko blinks but settles down in the traditional Japanese kneeling position. "It's okay if you're feeling tired. I know that sometimes the energy people build up when they are excited makes them tired. Did you want me to come to bed with you."

I look at her before feeling something unusual, a few tear drops on my cheeks. I'm a professional actor - or was – I know how to cry if a scene calls for it but I didn't really ever cry even as a kid. Kyoko rises and wraps her arms around me.

"Corn?" she asks as she pulls back and pushes the tears away with one of her thumbs. "Talk to me, is this chemical or is there something -"

"Wh-Who ammmm I?" I ask her and she opens her mouth to say something before tilting her head.

"What do you mean by that?" she asks me. I know that she's worried about memory loss, maybe some dementia type symptoms that might be side effects of my medications. No. It's not like that.

"I ju-sst fe-feel ol'er," I tell her. "I kn-kn-know who I...ammm, or wa-wa-was, I ww-was a su'essful ac-ac-tttor, I wa' Ren Tsuur-ruga bu' I ju-just feel so m-mmuch ol'er than la-sss' ye-year."

"Well in nine days, you'll be exactly one year older," she tries to joke before sighing. "You've worked so hard to get to the place where you are now," she nods and takes a deep breath before cupping my cheek. "Your body, I can't imagine the pain and stress and exhaustion that your body must be going through but I support you, we all support you. You might feel different but you're still my amazing prince Corn, still the man that I love."

I nod as she tells me this. She bends down before kissing me passionately.

"Do you want to talk in the bedroom?" she asks and I hear a slight hopefulness in her voice. I nod and she grins before waiting for me to lead the way. She always seems to get excited when I tell her the problems which I've been having.

**End of Chapter Forty Four**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Forty Three

Kaname671, kyoko minion

AN 1: I'm thinking of a few other directors before Ogata making their appearances

AN 2: Just a heads up, the part at the end kind of mirrors a feeling I get most days. If there's too much hope, happiness, or excitement, a crash usually happens afterwards. I used to think that it was a warning to me that I should never be happy but these days I'm taking it as a special feeling so I can always attempt to find my own happiness.


	46. Chapter 46

**Chapter Forty Six**

There's something in his eyes that is worrying me. I'm very glad that he's willing to speak with me about this but I feel something is wrong. He looks to me before putting his hand on the bed and his face goes entirely pale. I know what he's thinking and it's okay. He is going to have some medical problems for years to come. I was going to just do some laundry later on and try to hide it from him that I did so.

"Ky-oko," he shivers as he keeps his head bowed, "I'm ss-sso…ss-orry," he says and I hate how ashamed he is about something so irrelevant. I look at him, put my hand to his cheek and kiss him passionately. He had a deep sleep last night. I'm just glad that he's getting his rest, I need for him to be okay, the girls need for their dad to be okay.

"It's okay. Don't think about it," I tell him wanting for him to just forget about the damp spot on the bed. I cover it with the blanket and pat down on it in an attempt to hide it from him. "Kuon, you are doing so well, don't let something like this take over your mind and keep you from working so hard. How do you feel? I can change the sheets easily if you need to get a little more rest." I probably should have already done so, I hate the look on his face as if he's saying how much he hates himself. It's not fair.

"Y-yyou….ww-w-oul-dd," he's struggling again. There's something about this question that is making it difficult for him. I trust him more than anyone else and I want him to trust me in that way too. This amazing, gorgeous god of a man might be four years older than me, he might want to think himself more mature, more independent but I know that he needs help and I want to make sure that he gets it from me. "You…" he starts speaking again, steadying his breaths like Matt and the doctors have instructed him so he can get his words out more quickly. "Don-n't…wa—" he shakes his head.

"Kuon?" I ask and I place my hand on his upper arm.

"I'm nno-tt…sse-sex-yy" he tells me and I blink.

How did he get that kind of warped perception of self? He doesn't feel sexy or he doesn't think that I find him sexy. He's absolutely amazing. Sexy? Let's say that he makes me feel things that I didn't think that I'd ever be able to feel. "Are you kidding me?" I ask. "I don't even look at other men because I can close my eyes and see you as intimately as possible. You're the type of sexy that neutralizes me to anything but the best."

Kuon sighs and I know that he's trying to make himself believe that. He's trying to say that that's all he needs to hear to have it convince him but as he turns to me I can see that he's wondering about something. We haven't been intimate in a while but it's because I've wanted to wait for him to be ready and do things at his speed. In the beginning, Kuon was patient about everything, even the small things like kissing my cheek in public. I've wanted to help him this time by being patient. He's right though, I have been changing out of his view for the past week but only because of a gift that I got for him.

His eyes lower to my breasts and then back up to my eyes, "Kyokko," he says before sighing and looking away. "Can y—you tta-ke o-ff"

I look at him and put my hand on his shoulder. "Okay. I'll take off my shirt. You're right I haven't been changing in front of you but I wanted to surprise you. I didn't want you to see it just yet but…" I take off my shirt and show a BandAid between my shoulder and left breast. I lift it up and smile.

Right above my heart in golden ink is a tattoo of one very precious word, 'Kuon'. Behind the gold is a shadow effect of an emerald green where it turns to a burnt sienna in some places. I look at him and see the shock in his expression followed by happiness and excitement. "I wanted to make sure to get you a birthday present that had a lot of sentimental value. You are my heart, Kuon." I take his hand and squeeze it. "And I would love to enjoy your body too whenever you feel ready for it."

Kuon smiles as he gently lets his fingers go over the tattoo, it's a little sore but I don't mind because it's _him_ touching it. "I lo-vve it," he tells me before he frowns. "Wha—tt if…some'in' hap-pp-pens to me?" he asks and then looks away. "If you wa' to..rema-mar-ry"

I stare at him and blink. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. You're doing so well with your speech but you just said a word I don't recognize. I don't know what that word means but it sounds distasteful to me and I don't want to ever hear it again." I lay back down in the bed, not caring that my wrist accidentally presses against the damp spot on the sheets. "I am yours, Kuon. Even if something were to happen to you which I swear I would do anything to prevent, you're still my husband and I don't believe in polygamy. I would much rather be a widow than have someone else touching me."

He gets down with me and wraps me up in his arms. I smile as I snuggle closer to him. How can he not see how gorgeous and amazing and intelligent he truly is. He spends so much time trying to be an amazing husband and father, he ignores those traits that he was born with that make him almost mythical. I will never stop thinking of myself as anything but the luckiest person in the world.

KyKuKyKu

After a quick nap, I'm able to regroup and get back up again. I hear the sounds of Rose and Ana playing together whilst waiting for us to get up. I turn to them and they smile up at me. We've been spending a lot more time together recently despite how I still have to go to different therapists.

"Daddy, play with us," Ana says as she grabs my hand and pulls me over to where she and Rose are playing with Rose's Barbies.

"Wh—Wha-tt's the…st-stor-ry to-dd-ay?" I ask as I kneel down with them and Rose hands me the doll of Flynn Ryder that she loves.

"Rapunzel is having a tea party," Rose tells me. "Belle is helping with the decorations."

"Yeah," Ana nods as she moves the Belle doll back and forth. I watch the two of them before bringing the Flynn doll over to Rapunzel.

"My…dd-ea-rr…pp-rin-cess," I try to make the doll speak as I did before when I used to play before my accident. "Hho-ww…mmay..I be of s-ser-vice?"

Rose giggles, "Take these ribbons over to Belle and she will hang them up," my eldest daughter tells me and I move Flynn's arms so he's able to at least have the ribbons resting on them. I make the doll walk over to the Belle doll Ana is playing with and Ana takes the ribbon and starts to messily put it up around the doll house.

I hear Kyoko laughing as she stands behind us. She leans down and supportively places a hand on my upper back. "It looks like you're having a fun game together but I thought that I would make pancakes. You have about five minutes but you can all play afterwards." She sees Ana and Rose play together and kisses my cheek. "You can play too," she winks at me.

I know that Kyoko has taken videos of us playing with dolls. She's done it before but since I've started playing again, since I'm _able_ to play with them again, she takes a lot more videos of it. I guess one day I'm going to look back at those videos and be embarrassed about my speech.

I sit back and let the girls continue their game as I stay as an observer. As I sit there, Ana puts the doll down and Rose looks at her confused but Ana runs over to me and throws her arms around my neck. She kisses my cheek before seating herself on my lap. I wrap my arms around her. "Love you, Daddy," she tells me and I kiss the top of her head.

"No fair," Rose says as she puts the Rapunzel doll down and hugs me from the side. "I love Daddy too."

"I lo-ve the bo' of yy-y-ou," I tell them as I kiss Rose's cheek. They just seem so accepting of my condition, of how I can't form my words correctly. They just love me and I love them. As we sit together, Kyoko comes over to us and grins.

"We've got breakfast ready. Make sure to wash your hands before you eat," she tells them and then reaches for my hand as they leave. "Are you feeling a little better. They always get so happy when Daddy spends time with them and plays with them even when he's not feeling his best," she tells me and then kneels down beside me. "Anything that you'd like to do today."

"I wa-wa-ss mm-ea'—ing to as-kk y-you," I tell her and she blinks, tilting her head to the side.

"Ask me what?" she says as she nuzzles my neck affectionately now that the girls are washing their hands in the sink. She pushes my shorter hair back and blushes. "Your hair is just like it used to be," she tells me before cupping my cheek. "What do you want to ask me for?"

"M-My…Da-dd" I begin and she nods. I know that she's thinking that if it involves my father, then there's nothing wrong with that. Maybe it won't just be the two of us today but Kyoko has always looked to Dad as a paternal figure and she trusts him to support me and care for me. "Hhe…wa-ss g-gg-oi' t-too t—tak-ke me f-for c-co-ffee."

Kyoko freezes and pales. Apart from for doctors visits and to pick up the girls – which really means sitting in the car whilst Kyoko collects them – I haven't been out the house for a very long time. The public hasn't seen me for a very very long time. I know this worries her especially since the last time I tried to socially interact, somebody attempted to murder me.

She brushes my hair back, her eyes showing her concern but also a certain amount of pride and belief in me. "Can I come too?" she asks and I nod. She wraps an arm around me. "Okay. I mean, are you sure that you're up for it, there will be fans of yours there."

"Y-Ye-ah," I try to convince her and she looks nervous.

"Okay." She takes a deep breath in before hugging me from the side once again. "We can do that." I can feel her fear, it's the same fear that I have but I just feel that I need to do this. She kisses my lips passionately. "But you have to tell me if you don't feel okay and we'll leave."

"D-Dda-dd sai-dd…the s-s-same."

**End of Chapter Forty Six**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thank you to the reviewers of Forty Five

Kaname671


	47. Chapter 47

**AN: **I have mixed feelings on latest chapter :/ K+K = yay. K+C = hmm, looks similar to bully guy

**Chapter Forty Seven**

I know that everyone is whispering about me and it would be strange for them not to be. I was once a very social actor, very charming, and I always wanted to be kind and treat my fans respectfully and with gratitude. It was something people knew about me. People knew that even as Tsuruga Ren, I would always take a moment to thank the crew for their work on the drama or movie. Now I just sit here, with Kyoko somehow able to protect me with just a shake of her head or a few whispered words to help me calm down before being approached.

Kyoko places a hand on my shoulder again and I sit upright before seeing Dad approach with the drinks and pastries in hand. He passes me the decaf tea. Kyoko has also selected a decaf green tea and I wonder if that's just to help me feel better for not being allowed caffeine yet.

I look around and see that everyone is sneaking a look at me, I smile and try to breathe slowly. It's okay. I'm doing okay. "Th-Thankks," I smile to Dad who sits down but squeezes my shoulder in doing so. I look at the pastry and smile. "A-Aft-tter…ca-cann we…ggo bb-a-ck" I smile to them and they both look at me to really see how I'm reacting. Seeing that I'm calm and happy, they both nod.

Kyoko squeezes my hand, "I am so proud of you for just coming out today," she tells me. I know that she has the walker in the back in case I get tired but Dad has also told me that if I get tired before we reach the car, that I can put my arm around his shoulder and he'll help me. They are both trying their best to give me as much independence as they can whilst also voicing their concerns and support.

"Excuse me," a couple of college-aged girls say as they approach us. One of the girls holds up a Polaroid camera. "We really love your work, can yo-"

Dad looks around nervously. Everyone knows how he's respectful of fans especially younger fans and how he will often accommodate a picture or autograph. I also notice other people are looking at us.

"I'm really sorry," Kyoko begins to tell them before I shake my head.

"Y-Yes" I nod, "bb-utt…out-t-side"

Kyoko puts a hand on my shoulder and Dad nods. He's worried about me getting hounded by people as well. He gestures for the girls to follow us to a very secluded spot and he takes the camera from them. I make sure that the hat I'm wearing is covering the part where my head is a little caved in. I still have scars on my face but I don't think they'd sell this picture to a magazine or something.

"Thank you so much," one of the girls tells me. "I really really hope that you feel better soon. I cried for days when I learned about the accident. That was so sweet of you protecting your wife who you love so much."

"If it's not too much," one of the girls says as she holds up a Sharpie and I pale. My signature is extremely different than it once was. My writing has improved a lot but it's still messy.

"Itt's n-nott go-going…to ll-okkk…gg-oodd," I struggle and they shake their heads not believing me. I sign each one and the young ladies look so excitedly at them. I smile weakly but it doesn't seem to matter to them that I look different or that my signature looks like crap, they are excited to meet me as an actor and as a person. I can tell in their expressions that they don't look at me with anything other than excitement at meeting me.

I turn to go back in but see Kyoko bringing the drinks and pastries out as well as the bags. We turn to her and then see a crowd of people are at the table. Yes, I shouldn't have singled people out but all of them could get a little bit stressful for me. Kyoko hands Dad some of the drinks and then kisses my cheek.

"I thought it might get a little overwhelming in there," I tell him and I thank her before gesturing that we should go back to the car. Kyoko kisses my lips and then starts to lead the way. Dad uses his free hand to give my shoulder another supportive squeeze.

"We really and truly are enormously proud of you," he tells me.

KyKuKyKu

I smile as I gaze down upon him. He's sleeping so peacefully and I just feel so honored that for the past decade I have been able to be near him, to touch him, to watch him shine and sparkle, to see him achieve his dreams. I'm usually not lucky when it comes to things like love or I wasn't. I had so many people leave me and break away from me but when it comes to him, he has done whatever he can to prove to me a type of happy life.

I push back his hair, looking at his scars. They don't bother me. I know that they bother him and I know that he's not going to be acting for quite some time if he does have these imperfections but he got them risking his life to give me mine. I know that the girls would have been brought up in the best way were I to have died in that accident, he might have even been a better single parent than I could have been but I'm just so happy we got to stay together.

I snuggle into him, smiling as I hear those little snores that he doesn't think anyone has ever heard. I close my eyes and just try to rest before I fall asleep myself. The girls will be home soon but Father is still here. He said he wanted to cook for us tonight. I can allow myself to sleep if only for a few moments.

…

…

_I don't know where I am. I haven't been to this place before but somehow it feels familiar. The wooden boards under my feet remind me of an older Japanese style inn. Wait, this might be the inn which Kyoko was given to her by the Fuwas as part of the settlement. I can hear the girls playing down the hallway and look to where the sun is shining from the window. I smile as I realize that my legs are working well again. I smile. I place my hand to my throat, "Hello, princess Kyoko," I hear myself say clearly. What is this? I can speak again, I'm not clumsy on my feet. I look around and then hear the sound of clinking pots and pans. Breakfast. Of course she expects me to eat breakfast._

_I go to the kitchen and see that she is standing behind a large bowl of udon. Udon for breakfast? Well, I suppose that could be possible or maybe she's making it for lunch. She's going to need about four times that amount if she expects to serve it to Dad for lunch. I grin as I go to face her. "Can I help with anything?" I ask her and she looks at me as if I'm some demon from the woods._

"_Get away from here! Get away from my house and my family!" she screams at me and I look at her and blink. I'm confused. Yes, maybe she has more right to this home but family, I know there are some people who say that a mother is a more important parent but Rose and Ana are my kids too._

"_Kyoko?" I ask but as I speak, I hear an echo that sounds like a dying animal. I reach out to her but find that instead of a human hand there is a bloody claw. I try again, scared this time. "It's Kuon. I'm Kuon," I try but all I hear are the sounds of a dinosaur. _

"_Get the hell away from me!" she yells as she throws the hot water at me. "As if I could love you after the transformation." I blink, wait, what? "You have always been a monster inside, some rat type creature but to expect that I'd still love you no matter what. Your voice causes agony and you even being here…leave! You get more disgusting the longer that I look at you!"_

_I feel myself getting smaller as she grabs me and soon the world is suffocating and she's twisting my neck, turning me and shoving me into a pot before I am only a creature on the stove in front of her and she touches the stove top to turn on the flames. "You are returning to hell!" she laughs._

KyKuKyKu

I am gasping for air as I push my back against the wall. I find it hard to catch my breath because it seemed so real. Being a monster, being hated and people trying to kill me. Her hating me and wanting to kill me. No. What if that's true? What if she hates me. What if she's just too good a person to tell me otherwise. Please don't hate me. I see her watching me in panic as I try to take deep breaths.

I try to focus and finally my breaths are back to normal but Kyoko has a hand over my forehead and as I cover my face to focus on what is really going on, she takes my hand. "Sweetheart, Corn," she says nervously. "Corn, what is it? What's going on? Are you okay?"

My body seems to move on its own as I grab her and pull her to me, she gasps at first and looks to me concerned but then tries to calm down, her head resting on my chest. "Corn?" she asks after I finally manage to calm again. "Are you okay? Do you feel okay? Your head? Is your head okay?"

"Ba-dd…dd-re-amm," I tell her as I still hold her close. It's not one of my worst dreams, this one doesn't even make the top twenty but it gave me a sharp kick into reality. The fact is that I can't speak very well. I don't move very well. I look ugly because of the scars and the wounds that are reminders of the way that I've been hurt. I have disabilities. I have to take medication. I can't speak very well.

"I'm sorry," she whispers to me before kissing my cheek and nuzzling my neck. "I wish I knew a spell so that you would never have to feel any pain. Do you want to tell me about it?" she asks and I look at her before closing my eyes.

"Yyo-u..ss-aww me…..as I..m-mmigh' be," I struggle to tell her and she puts a hand on my shoulder, moving herself so that she's making eye contact with me and as I look at her, I can feel a couple of tears. "As a…m-mon-ss"

She shakes her head before kissing me again and I find that I can't complete that thought. She pulls back. "You're not a monster. You're a brave and true knight or fairy prince," she nods to me before embracing me closely once again. "And even if some enchantress came and turned you into a beast then you would be my beast. I love you, Kuon. Even if you were cursed to look hideous, then I would never see you as that way. You're my perfect Corn," she smiles to me and I nod.

I really hate to think about what might be said by that dream.

**End of Chapter Forty-Seven**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Forty-Six

Kaname671, kyoko minion


	48. Chapter 48

**Chapter Forty EIght**

I hate that Valentines Day has to be on a work day. I had already planned to take some time off of work so that we could go somewhere very secluded or spend a lazy day at home but the office called me up and told me that they were having a problem with some of the tasks that I left them to deal with. I had explained that it was my day off and I wanted to spend the time with Kuon but they said I was needed to come in immediately.

In Kuon's own words, it can't be helped.

I hated to leave him and I wanted to protest to him that I didn't think I had hired anyone who would have problems functioning in their jobs at that level but he assured me it was okay. It scares me that he decided to come with me. I prefer it to him feeling alone at home but at home there's less that could hurt him. I come to the front desk with his hand in mine. He's done his best to hide the wounds with a large brimmed hat with a logo for Yashiro's company on it. He wasn't feeling too happy at his role here so it's good that we're going to go back together.

"Mrs. Hizuri, Kyoko," the young girl at the front desk says. I believe her name is Natalie. "Scott told me that you'd be in here today. I was supposed to hand you some…" she freezes as she turns to Kuon who just smiles at her gently. I put a hand on his chest protectively.

"H-How's…y-your d-ay…g-goi-ng?" Kuon asks in a shaky voice and the girl blushes.

"It's good," she squeaks out. I kiss Kuon's cheek and then wait for her to pass forward the files. "How's yours?" she asks still unable to look at Kuon. I can't blame her. He _is_ beyond gorgeous. Even with the few disabilities he has, he seems godlike and I don't think that there's many capable of beating him.

"G-G-Good," he nods and I can see how hard he's trying even with people he's never met before. He's the same Kuon that he was before the accident. I knew it but this just proves it to me. He could be reserved and cold but instead he's trying to smile and engage in regular conversation. I look through the files before deciding where to start first. I put the file to my side and grab his hand.

"Happ—py V-Valen-ttines," he tells her as he gestures to a plush pig that's sitting in a gift bag with her name on a tag. She smiles and I look at him as he focuses on me again. I've been more focused on the abilities he's had and how far his speech has come, how he doesn't have to be in bed all the time anymore, how his handwriting has improved, how his appetite has changed. I never thought that his social skills would still be this way. I feel terrible for not giving him the credit he deserves.

"I have to talk to some people, are you okay sitting in the office?" I ask and he nods. I kiss his cheek before going to the conference room. I want to tell people I'm here and try to shorten the time between getting in here and getting out and celebrating Valentine's with Kuon.

"Wow, Kuon," Mark, one of the division leads says as I nod to him. Mark has been working with me for a very long time. A few years now. He was one of the people who pushed me to expand as quickly as I could and he's often gone out on double dates with us and his wife. "It's good to see you again, I missed ya."

Kuon nods and has a strained and introspective smile, "G-Go-dd to se-see you…tt-oo" he says and Mark grins, ignoring the way that Kuon speaks and looking at him as if nothing changed. "H-How…are y-y-you?"

"Doing pretty well but this show is going to be bigger than I thought, everyone is buzzing about the designs here. I think that your name appearing everywhere again has something to do with it," he winks. "You can't stop attracting the media, can you?"

"Well," I sigh, "Let's fix this so I can spend the day with my husband." Kuon gestures to my office and I shoot Mark a look saying that I'll be right back. I take Kuon's hand in my own and he gives another nod to Mark. I go into the office and grab a bottle of mineral water and the computer. I know it might sound insane but I have to check every inch of this room before I leave Kuon alone in it. He's improved so much but there is still that fear someone will try to kill him and this time he won't survive.

"Anything else that you need?" I ask him as I kiss his lips quickly.

"I'm…ffin-ne," he tells me and I hug him before slipping back.

"I'll be back as soon as possible. I love you."

"Llo-vve y-y-you tt-too" he tells me and I kiss him again. I look into those gorgeous emerald eyes. I can't help but remember how much I love him each time I look at him. I turn to leave. I love you Kuon.

KyKuKyKu

_I feel that everyone is talking about me behind my back. I recently came out as Ren's girlfriend despite actually being Kuon's girlfriend and the confusion is worth being near him. I told Moko-chan that I wanted to make something epic for Kuon because he assured me that since he is taken, he will gladly accept anything which I give to him. I already made him a slightly embarrassing gift that I hope isn't too forward. It's a little figure of me, a good luck charm. I also made myself a Kuon one. I hope he doesn't laugh about it. _

_Would it be wrong to look at what other people have made and what the stores have in them before I decide on his gift. I hope it's okay with him that I also am making truffles again for all the people who have helped me and shown me kindness. Dark chocolate? Dark chocolate would probably be better than milk chocolate when it comes to Kuon. It's said to be easier to digest as well. Would he want something fancy because of his wonderful imagination or is it better to be safe and do something simple? What does that reflect on me if I just give him something plain and ordinary? Does that make me a plain boring woman?_

_I hear the sound of Yuka Sudo behind me. I worked with her during Box R. She coughs. "Kyoko-san?" she asks and I turn back to her with a smile and formally bow. She bows back but looks uneasy. "I wanted to ask for your permission."_

"_My permission?" I ask her and she blushes._

"_I worked with Tsuruga-san on one of his dramas last year," she says awkwardly and I see her moving her foot. I hate to say that I don't know all of the actors that Kuon works alongside with, he has so many projects. I smile to her._

"_Is that so? Was there a question that you'd like me to ask Ren-ku-san?" I ask as I blush. I find it really hard to not have any redness in my cheeks when calling him by that fake first name. If I started saying Kuon-kun then my heart might explode. _

"_Would you be okay with me giving him Valentines chocolates to say thank you for working with me and teaching me so much. I know that he's your boyfr-" _

_I pause before smiling. I don't want to tell her that Kuon won't be able to eat all of the chocolates and therefore might not eat hers. I can't believe that people are asking me for this. I laugh. Is this what it means to have a very famous boyfriend? "I'm sure he'll be happy to accept them," I tell her and she smiles with a sigh. I don't think I could get used to people asking someone like me for my permission when it comes to Ren. All I need to do is trust that Kuon loves me._

…

….

I feel weird as I look at the computer. There are so many people who love me. Of course, there are the critics too, people who probably wouldn't even care to get to know me but there are a lot more people who are rooting for me, talking about my appearance in a positive way, wishing me and my family luck after the accident. Everything to do with the US media is calling me Kuon Hizuri and talking about my achievements. People seem to generally think that I've been doing really well and have accomplished more than they thought that I even could.

I really do appreciate the support but it's the Japanese media that is making me feel awkward. On that page there are a lot of people who are trying to weigh who is better. Ren or Kuon. Seeing those pictures, both fashion photos of when I was younger so nothing like the tired and battered me but there are a lot of people who say I was better as Ren.

Ren wouldn't get himself in this type of situation. Ren is all about being a perfect gentleman who is skilled and talented in his work. Yes, there is a lot about Ren that is also true about myself. In fact, _most_ of who I was under the surface was the same but it's like I'm looking at a stranger. This is who they want though. They don't want someone like me coming back to Japan, they just want this very classy and very sophisticated gentleman.

I sigh and see Kyoko enter the office with a heap of files in her arms. I smile to her weakly. I really hope that she doesn't see what I'm looking at. I didn't mean to cause her further harm. She puts the files down before seeing my face. "What happened?" she asks and I blink at her. "I'm sorry, I just have the feeling that something happened. I have the feeling that you're going to -"

"Lll-ookkk" I tell her as I grab her hand and she comes to take a look at the screen. She smiles as she looks at the pictures.

"Well, it is a pretty hard choice for them," she says as she kisses my cheek. "I mean, you might say that Ren Tsuruga was the fantasy and Kuon Hizuri is the reality but you know what," she takes the mouse and clicks to vote on Kuon Hizuri. "I am very happy with my reality. Don't tell me you spent the whole time in here Googling yourself," she grins and then sees my face. "Kuon?"

"The-they w-w-wantt…hi-mm" I tell her meaning that the Japanese people want Ren. I can't give them what they want. I can't magically become Ren Tsuruga again after all of these years. I feel nervous now. I was just expecting for it to be an easy move, I thought that the friends we had made back there would welcome us back but they don't want me, they want Ren. Kuon isn't good enough for them.

"Without Kuon Hizuri, there is no Ren Tsuruga," she tells me, "but when there is no Ren Tsuruaga, you are still sitting right here in front of me. That should tell you who is the stronger one. Besides, I see Ren in you every day. I'm just proud that there are so many similarities between the two of you," she tries to encourage me and I nod.

They want Ren. They don't seem to understand that Ren Tsuruga can't come back, at least not in the way he was before.

**End of Chapter Forty Eight**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Forty Seven

Kaname671, kyoko minion


	49. Chapter 49

**Chapter Forty Nine**

I finish putting the final touches on the chocolate cake that I was making to surprise Kuon and the girls. I've found a lot of edible pieces, hearts and cutouts and figures to put on it. Maybe people would say it's a little extreme to make your husband a four-layer dark chocolate ganache covered cake with different frosting between layers and to hide it from him so well but it paid off. This is my biggest and greatest Valentine's to give to someone.

I cover it up as I hear the doorbell ring. If the girls see it, they'll want it and it might ruin the surprise for Kuon. I go to get the door since Kuon is taking a nap and see Father with the girls. "Hey," I smile and Rose looks up at me with a grin, Ana laughs. "Okay, what is it?" I ask and Rose grins.

"You've got chocolate spots," she tells me and touches her cheek and neck. I turn to a mirror and smile. I was definitely having too much fun with this.

I put a finger to my lips, "It's for Daddy. It's a surprise for Daddy," I wink to them. "Of course, you're welcome to stay and have cake with us too, Father. I made enough for you to enjoy," I proudly beam and see Kuu shift nervously. What is going on with the male Hizuris today? Everyone seems a little awkward. "You could take some home for Julie-san."

"I might take you up on that," Father says before lifting a bag from a fancy salon. Is it a gift for Julie? It would make sense, she loves beauty products just as much as I do. "May I talk to you alone?" he whispers and I turn to the girls.

"You want to choose a movie to watch and we can watch it together tonight after dinner?" I tell them, they look between each other and nod. I grin as I see them scamper off before my attention is drawn over to Father. "I'll be right there," I call out to them. I soften my voice. "Okay, what is it?" I ask in a soft tone.

"Kuon asked me to bring him something but I don't know how I feel about it," Father says as he hands me the bag. My heart stops. I start to have horrible visions playing in my mind of him burning his skin, him cutting himself, him choking himself, or worse. I don't know if I want to know what's in this bag. "I don't know where his mind is but I just wanted to give it to you first."

I look at him carefully. No, Kuu wouldn't bring Kuon razors or things that would hurt him. I doubt that Kuu would even bring him bleach or cleaning products or some other product that is poisonous. I nervously look into the bag and sigh. I am looking at a high-end box of hair dye from one of the major salons around here. The color is the same shade as Ren Tsuruga's. I sigh.

"Thanks for not giving it directly to him," I say as I stare at the product. I mean. I know what he's thinking but I'm frustrated that he's even come to this conclusion. He's saying that Ren is better than him and I don't want him to go down that path. "How up to date are you on the Japanese community of Kuon fans?"

"I have it in my alerts, get a notification three times a day about top posts," Father says. Three times? Wow, that is less than I expected. Father pauses before shaking his head. "This isn't to do with that poll is it because the last time I checked it, Kuon was leading by twenty-percent." Father takes out his phone and shows me that Ren has 40% and Kuon has 60%. People must have been smart enough to come to the conclusion that without Kuon, Ren would have never existed. I look at the hair dye.

"He's attempting to convince himself that he's not as good as Ren," I try to explain before shaking my head. "No. I think that he's _already_ convinced himself that he's not as good as Ren. I think part of him wants to be more like Ren but I love his hair. I've always loved his golden hair. I mean, he was attractive as Ren but he's absolutely gorgeous as Kuon." I sigh as I put the box in the closet under the stairs and tuck it behind a couple of my bags. "At least he didn't ask for color contacts, I'd have to flush those down the toilet."

"Don't you think that should be his decision?" Father asks and I sigh. He knows how much I love Kuon and how hard I've been trying to give him his independence when it comes to his medical issues. I just don't want him to dye his hair. Of course I will still love him but I want my perfect Kuon. I'm very spoiled and selfish when it comes to this.

"I don't want him continuing with these ideas. He has to know that Kuon is better than Ren. I don't want him feeding into some opposite belief," I look to Father before I sigh and bow my head. Doesn't he realize how dangerous it is when Kuon's mind grabs onto something false, especially something critical about himself. I mean, he's not too far from snapping and calling himself Ren Tsuruga if he dyes his hair and that's something which the girls don't need.

"I wouldn't worry about him so much," Kuu tells me feeling a little awkward about saying it. I sigh and nod. I don't want to argue with him. I know he might misunderstand but I don't want it to happen. He's made so much progress and I know him better than anyone, I probably know him better than myself. If it starts with hair dye, it definitely will not end there.

KyKuKyKu

_I am so excited seeing the Muse work. I haven't seen the magic happen before and although Kuon has said it might take a couple of hours to finish. He turns to me curious to see my reaction and he smiles. "Thanks for sitting here with me, usually it's more quiet."_

"_That's because you don't talk to me very much," the Muse says as she puts her hands to her hips. Miss Jelly has told me that I'm the only one who can call her Muse because it's cute coming from me. _

"_I don't want to disturb your work," Kuon tells her and Muse rolls her eyes but does it in a way where Kuon can't see it. I see the dye that she's making up and a square that is that rich golden color. That's what his natural color is. I'm really excited to see him with his hair that color. _

"_Ren, do you want to take your contacts out before I get to work?" Muse asks and I lean in closer. I always get excited when I see those emerald eyes and I hold my breath. I've seen those green eyes that turn to a burnt sienna so many times now but it's still that magic that makes me understand that fate brought us together and that I should be grateful for that._

_He's Corn. I found Corn. I fell in love with Corn. I'm Corn's girlfriend. _

_Apart from he's not only Corn, he's Kuon, he's my boyfriend and the man that I'm not afraid to love honestly and openly. He slips his contacts into the case and I gaze into those amazing eyes. I understand why he had to become Ren Tsusurga but when he finally reaches his goal and becomes Kuon Hizuri, I don't want him to lose his confidence and go back._

_He looks so much better with his natural appearance, that's what good genes do. He definitely should appreciate what Father and Julie-san gave him. _

KyKuKyKu

I know that she might be angry at me when it comes to this but she's not the best at hiding things. She gave me a great Valentines Day with amazing gifts but I know that this is the best for both of us. I look at the box and take a deep breath in. I have to wait ten minutes before I wash it out and hopefully it sticks. As I look into the mirror, I see her behind me and see how upset she is.

"Why?" she asks and I see the tears about to fall. She comes over to me and puts a hand on my cheek before sighing. "Okay. What's the next step?" she asks me and I look away.

"K..yo-kko" I struggle. I know she's disappointed in what I did but she's still here in front of me. "You…ddo-'nt have…tto."

"Tell me what the next instruction is. I heard that using hair dye from a box can sometimes hurt your head or it can cause your hair to fall out. I'm not happy but it's too late and I want to help you. So what's the next step."

"I ha-have to…wa-wash…itt…i-nn…tte-n more mm-in-nutes," I ask, my speech failing a little as I see her there with such pain in her eyes. She tries to hide the tears that have already fallen down her cheeks and then she nods.

"We'll do that next then, _Kuon_," she says as she emphasizes my name and I watch her. Is she really that scared that I'm going to do more. It's not as if I have anything more I can do. She sighs deeply. "_Kuon_, please don't forget how much we all love you."

**End of Chapter Forty Nine**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Forty Eight

Kaname671, kyoko minion


	50. Chapter 50

**Chapter Fifty**

I know that two nights ago, I really disappointed Kyoko in dying my hair. I was just trying to escape the failure that I was feeling. I haven't worked for a long time. I haven't been able to work for a long time so I was feeling self-conscious _especially _when people said that they preferred my work as Ren. However, seeing her upset and trying to hide it wasn't working for me. I asked Dad for help.

As I return to the house wearing a baseball cap on, I see Kyoko come over to me and Dad and I see that she's a little paler than usual. I look at her before sighing. "Sor-rry it…tt-ook so ll-ong," I tell her and she shakes her head. "I st-till f-feel li…kke…ne-new clothes," I tell her as she blinks at me. I sigh and take off the hat and hear a soft squeak from her. With help from a friend of the presidents, I redyed the base of my hair back to the golden blonde natural color but then I put in some chocolate and caramel highlights making my hair a little bit more interesting. I also had it cut and styled in a more fashionable but relaxed way and they are helping me hide the dent in my head.

"You look so cool," she tells me as she throws her arms around my neck. She grins at me, "I like all the colors," she tells me and then whispers, "especially the gold."

"We also bought some new clothes," Dad tells Kyoko and I smile to him and Kyoko lets her fingers go through my hair again. She smiles as she sees the gold. I know that she's been trying to be respectful but I knew that she missed it. I'm just glad that we can compromise with the highlights.

"Well, dinner will be in half an hour. Do you want to show me them?" she says with a playful grin. Dad smiles and picks up a knife. "I was going to make hamburger and egg tonight," she tells me before picking up the three bags with the clothes in them. "Come on, show me, okay?" she winks to me and I nod.

"I'll cover things out here," Dad tells us and Kyoko leads me to the bedroom. As she sees me standing in the light she smiles with relief still looking at how the light bounces off the gold of my hair.

I reach into the bag before pulling out a number of shirts, a pair of tight jeans and some leather pants, and a leather jacket, all designer and probably sold for more than they're actually worth. It's some kind of luxury to be wearing designer items. I just haven't ever gone to the stores that Kyoko had before I met up with her again or before we started dating, I just had no need to.

"Sh-ould I ggo to the…ba-thrr-oom?" I gesture and she rolls her eyes.

"Well that would be disappointing," she tells me and I smile to her. I undress myself and she takes each piece of clothing and folds it as she watches me. I grab a black turtle neck, long sleeved shirt and put it on as she reaches for the green and gold shirts in the same style. I know she prefers to see me in color. I reach behind me for the gold sweater I bought and put that on before putting the leather pants on. I stand and turn for her before seeing how her eyes have lit up as if she's caught in her magic land.

"Do I loo-kkk ok-ay?" I ask her feeling a little more self-confidence. She stands up and comes over, kissing me softly.

"You are so gorgeous," she tells me, "strong, sexy, gorgeous. I'm going to have to make sure to make more things for your closet." She kisses me again and I feel a strange pull at my head. She pulls back, nervously looking me over. She lifts her hand about to test for a fever and I look down, shaking my head. She keeps her hand in the air as if she still wants to feel for my temperature.

"My ey-eyes," I tell her before looking away. We have both been told on different occasions that it might be good for me to get my eyes tested as any kind of head injury might cause vision problems. "I thi—thinkk…I mi-ght ne-ed glasses."

Kyoko laughs and I stare at her not sure why she is acting this way. She walks over to me and places her hands on my shoulders. "You're going to be really cute in eyewear," she tells me and kisses me romantically before drawing back and holding my hands. "My own sexy librarian, my own Clark Kent," she teases me and I pull her to my chest.

"Thank…you," I tell her and she breathes into my chest.

"Of course, Prince Corn," she says before holding my hand in hers and she brings it to her lips. I'm glad that she seems to agree I need to find myself again. I've been though so much and I don't really feel like the person I started off last year being.

KyKuKyKu

"Daddy, you're so fashionable," Rose tells Kuon proudly as she pushes her hand through her own hair. Kuon just smiles softly as he looks at the meal. "Are you going to be going back to acting?" she says bluntly and I freeze. We were all avoiding this subject. Both myself and Father have been trying to avoid the subject being brought up and now Rose is having us all face it.

Kuon coughs and reaches for water to drink, he smiles in a slightly shy manner. "I ho-ppe so," he tells her and I squeeze his hand. Rose looks thrilled by that answer. "If a dd-ire-cttor…cca-n ww-orkk wi..with me."

I roll my eyes. I personally know a half dozen Japanese directors who would work with Kuon like this and still be beyond happy about it. Maybe even a dozen. I just hope that when Kuon does start working again that he'll pick a nice director like Director Ogata…Director Date now, or someone who cares more about a professional hardworking manner and in exchange would be able to make accommodations for him like Director Shingai.

"I'm sure they will. You'll make the ladies swoon," Rose says and Kuon tilts his head to the side. Is it too early for Rose to be talking like that? No. She's close to the age I was when I first met Corn and I was thinking about marriage and weddings.

"I mi-might…dd-oo..ssomme inte—tervi-iews ff-irs-tt" Kuon replies. I think that's a good idea. He can talk to the fans in that manner and I know that even after all of these years, Bridge Rock's show is still incredibly popular. They would be thrilled to have him on there.

"Will you have a manager?" Rose asks and I pause.

"Nn-ott s-ure…possibly" Kuon tells her and I share a look with Kuu. We both know that usually managers travel with younger stars and those in their twenties, the actors in their thirties do use people to help them with scheduling but are more self-sufficient. Kuon might be considered disabled though so it might be understood or might draw unwanted attention.

"Are you acting too, Mommy?" Rose asks as she looks at me and I smile. I really did once have plans of being the actress to represent Japan and I was told that I had skills which could really help me but that was when I was living in Japan, a very long time ago.

"No. I'll…I'll be doing my fashion work still, we'll be staying in Kyoto at first though, it's quite a distance from Tokyo but it's where I grew up. There are a lot of very pretty areas and we'll be able to go to Tokyo on trips." I smile at Kuon and squeeze his hand lovingly before returning to the plate. Kuon looks at me again and then turns to Rose and Ana.

"H—how ab-out next…we-ek we…can do…somet-thi-thing..toge-ther" he says and Rose smiles eagerly.

"Shopping?" Ana asks and Kuon nods weakly. I can't say that I'm not concerned about us going into the crowds and Kuon feeling overstimulated. I do believe though that he'll be able to do that and I don't want to risk robbing him of his new confidence.

"We-we'll see," he says and I see the way that Father is looking at him. I don't think anyone can be prouder of Kuon than I am but Dad is showing how much of a doting and loving Father he truly is. I am scared to say it because I don't want misfortune to happen to us but I'm really happy with our family life right now.

KyKuKyKu

As I sit there in my bed, I look down at Kuon who is sleeping peacefully. I know that he still sees his shortcomings but to think about how Nate spent years getting to the point where he was at when I saw him and then thinking about how quickly Kuon has recovered. He's amazing. He's accomplished things that nobody would think he was capable of and the fact that he's actually discussing returning to acting again. I just don't want there to be any more setbacks in our lives. I don't blame him for any of this and I just want him to be happy.

I push his hair back hoping not to wake him and he smiles. I'm so proud of him. I slowly step out and away from the bed, grabbing my phone as I do so. I very carefully raise the light so not to wake him and get onto the camera mode of my phone. I take a few photos and then a video. I don't know if that's strange or not to do to your husband but he just looks so relaxed and peaceful.

"I love you so much," I whisper as I put my hand to his cheek and feel a few teardrops slip down my cheeks. I hastily brush them aside. I don't want him to see me crying again. Even though I miss his natural look, he does look gorgeous with those highlights. I like the different colors, the blend of him being Kuon but still showing parts of Ren. I like that the main color of his hair is his golden, Corn-colored, blond.

"H-Hey," he whispers and I pull back. He didn't give me any signs of being awake. I open my mouth to say something but since I'm not sure what, I quickly close it. "You..thi-nkk…the gir-girls will…li-ke Japan?"

"They'll like being with us and I'm sure that they like it. They've always been interested in nature, they've always shared your passion with that and they know a lot of Japanese already and Father and I have been practicing with them. You always made sure that they knew enough Japanese for their age when we went to visit and then you taught them those Russian phrases too. We've prepared the girls for this move even before the accident," I try to tell him and he takes my hand and squeezes it.

"You sh-should get tto…sle-ep," he tells me and I turn off the light and snuggle next to him. He wraps his arms around me and I give a pleased sigh.

"Okay, my love, my prince," I tell him. "I'll try to stay asleep this time."

**End of Chapter Fifty**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Forty Nine

Kaname671


	51. Chapter 51

**Chapter Fifty One**

I smile a little as I see the girls following Kyoko. Tomorrow is my birthday but Kyoko has finished decorating the cake today. I don't know how big this cake has become but it looks a little bigger than the one for Valentine's Day. Well, at least Dad can help us finish it.

"Let me see," Rose says as Kyoko gets a ladder and puts it up high on a metal shelving unit. I grin as I watch Kyoko with my girls. "It looks really big and pretty. I want to see it."

"You can see it tomorrow when we surprise Daddy," Kyoko says before winking at me. I smile to her. She takes one pink box and puts it up high whilst finishing with the other pink cake box. Well, I suppose all she needs to do is assemble it, should be pretty easy.

"But I want to see it now, you always let us taste it Mommy," Rose says and I turn to Dad who has come over to talk about maybe meeting with a Japanese director who has booked a vacation here. Dad laughs and shakes his head.

"If your mother allows it, how about Grandpa takes you out for ice cream if you're good," he calls to them and Ana seems pleased about this. She runs over to us and Dad pulls her into his lap. He smiles to me before wrapping his arms around his younger granddaughter.

"No, thank you," Rose says and I blink. I know that Kyoko's desserts are always incredible, even in my opinion and I'm definitely not a fan of sweet foods. "Just a little look?" Rose almost begs but Ana giggles and looks up at Dad.

"I like ice cweam," she announces and I nod.

"I like….it t-too," I tell her with minimal difficulty and Kyoko rolls her eyes, she knows that I only like a certain amount and certain, more rich than sweet, flavors but she always likes when I bond with the girls. Kyoko walks over to me and kisses my lips before drawing back.

"Let me know when you'd like lunch today," she whispers to me and I nod. I look to Rose who appears to be pouting. Kyoko sighs as she turns back to her and shakes her head not wanting to argue with her anymore.

"Rose," I call out to her before I see her still looking at the boxes. "Cco-mme…sit..wi-th u-us." I pause as she still looks up at the box and I share a look with Dad. He chuckles and shakes his head. I stand and walk over to her. She usually enjoys time with her grandfather. I know that the cake is exciting but tomorrow isn't that far away. As I walk over to her, I see her studying the shelves of the unit and looking at the different boxes and items that we have there. I know that when I was a kid, I would have tried to climb up there if I held enough interest.

"Ppr-inc-ess" I call out to her. "Ddd-on'ttt. Ju-Jusstt…co-mme for…ice ccre-am." I can hear the change in my speaking pattern with my nerves. My eyes widen as I see her attempting to climb the shelving unit and I pause as I feel something in the ground. A tremor. Los Angeles is famous for earthquakes. "Rose! Nn-o!" I call out sharply.

I reach out to grab her and pull her away and as I do so, I feel her struggle. Is seeing this cake that important to her that she would endanger herself by falling. I pull her to me but she tries to reach back for the shelves. I feel the ground shake again and see that Rose is still trying to climb the shaking structure. I grab her and pull her back again but hear Dad standing up and rushing over. I hear a few items start to fall off the shelves and see a box above the two of us starting to fall down. Without a second thought, I throw Rose to the side. Now I just need to get out my—

Black. Nauseous. Pain. Black.

KyKuKyKu

Earthquakes are as common here as they were in Japan. I've become used to them during my life but that one felt pretty big. I hear a thud that sounds like it might have come from one of the neighbors before my hearts runs cold as I hear a massive crash. That definitely sounded like it came from the storage room. Father and Kuon would have made sure that the girls stayed away from the shelving. Rose knows better then to climb on them.

I look out the window as I wash up the bowls from cooking. Rose isn't that stupid. I take a deep breath before hearing the sound of footsteps and I look to see a shaking Rose. I open my mouth to ask her what is going on but she just stands there trembling, her body pale.

"Mommy, call the doctors!" she yells at me and I freeze. It takes a few moments to register with me what she's said. I look her over. She looks fine, a little bruised as if she tripped and fell and she's dirty and dusty but I don't think it is grave enough to need the paramedics. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"Honey, you don't need the doctor," I try to explain to her but she bows her head.

"It was an accident! Call the doctor! The ambulance!" she yells at me and I look at the scrape on my arm before my heart starts beating and I look at her. Maybe Father got injured. I take her hand and go back but as soon as I reach the area, my blood runs cold. No. No. No.

I see that there are boxes everywhere including a ruined cake but what is most painful is that Father is on the ground, the shelf has been shifted and he's shaking, his hands on top of Kuon's chest. As I near him, I see that there's blood and Father is attempting to give Kuon CPR. He's not breathing? I see Kuon's face is pale and slightly bluish. What the hell happened?

I grab my phone and call the paramedic before seeing the blood and I shakily give out our address and a brief summary of what I'm seeing. Father is still trying to use CPR techniques with Kuon. I run over and drop down beside them. Kuon needs something to soak up the blood. I check his head, no blood there but he's in an awkward position and there is so much damage to his body. Not again. Please not again.

"Come on, you can do it," Father is pleading with him. "Please, Kuon, please fight for us."

Kuon finally coughs and Father tries to feel his body to test his pulse rate. I grab my jacket and try to put it beneath Kuon's left side of his body which seems to have taken on most injury. I want to yell at Rose, tell her that she must have caused this but I know her, I know Kuon. She was being stupid and he was doing his best to protect her.

"What happened?" I ask Father as he lightly slaps Kuon's cheek trying to keep him breathing and somewhat conscious.

"The shelving unit fell," Father tells me quickly. "I don't know if I pulled it off of him in time," he says but his gaze never leaves Kuon. I blink. Pulled it off of him? I check his head again. I'm not seeing a lot of damage to the outside but that doesn't mean the inside doesn't have damage.

I hear Kuon coughing again before those coughs turn into gasps, he's having a lot of difficulty breathing. He's choking and Father is looking over him in a terrified manner. I nervously get into Father's position and start the CPR myself. His left side, something's wrong with his left side.

"Sweetheart, Corn, you're so strong. You are so strong," I try to tell him before hearing the sound of the paramedics and Father bolts up, running over to where they are and opening the door of the storage room that is right beside the garage of our house. I hear him give them instructions and the paramedics hurtle in.

I freeze as I hear words that will haunt our family forever, "It doesn't look like he'll make it to the hospital. Get the respirator."

I hear Father trying not to sob which is heartbreaking for me because Father is the calm and collected once but he's looking so devastated and heartbroken. "Can I stay with him?" he asks and as one paramedic gets Kuon hooked to a respirator and quickly patches his wound I look to Father, hearing the next words. "I can only take one of you," he says and I look to Father feeling as if I'm going to die and vanish completely from my place on the floor.

"Father, go. I want you to go with him. Keep me updated!" I call out and Kuu nods. He immediately goes with the paramedic and I feel frozen with fear. I don't know if I'll ever be able to get to my feet again. I hear Ana crying and look up at her as she's curled in a ball, her whole body is shaking and she looks horrified by what she just witnessed.

Rose looks hollow as she stands with her hands at her sides. She's just staring in my direction but she appears like a ghost. I know that they both need comforting but the blood is on the ground and Kuon wasn't exactly healthy before he was crushed by a metal shelving unit. He was getting better though. He was going to meet with that director. We were going to celebrate his birthday with him in less than twenty-four hours.

"I'm sorry!" she screams as she falls to the ground and whimpers, going into fetal position. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" she says and as I struggle to get up, I walk over to her and wrap her up in my arms before taking her to where Ana is. I pull Ana onto my lap as well.

"It was an accident," I whisper not knowing what to think anymore. I want to trust that Kuon is okay but…with the injuries he received from last year, it seems difficult to believe in that. He's already had trouble breathing and needed CPR. Even if his head didn't show any signs of bleeding externally, a lot of head injuries only can be seen from scans of the inside. "It's not your fault," I try to comfort Rose.

"It is!" Ana argues and I brush both of the girls hair back in a comforting manner. Ana finally sits up but Rose is still shaking, her tears washing down her face. "She kill Daddy."

"She didn't kill Daddy," I argue. "Daddy's not even dead," I tell them before looking over at the destroyed cakes. I don't even know if that's true or not. I have no confidence that that is true. I just wish from the bottom of my head that the phrase third time's the charm isn't true and that Kuon will survive this as well. He _has_ to survive this as well.

**End of Chapter Fifty One**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Fifty

Kaname671


	52. Chapter 52

**AN: **After this chapter I'm going to take a _short_ break from this fic to work on some others. I really do love working on this one though so know I'll come back to it. Hope you guys are all safe.

**Chapter Fifty Two**

I don't know what happened. He had been making so much progress and doing it so steadily. His speech had improved to the point where one who didn't know his history might say that he sounded nervous or that he was insecure, you wouldn't necessarily put it to brain damage. He had also been spending more time with the girls, more time being social. He was supposed to keep getting better. We were all supposed to be celebrating him and his birthday tomorrow. This wasn't supposed to happen.

I take a nervous breath as I see Father's phone number, he said he'd call me as soon as there was any news or update on Kuon's condition. I know that it's bad. I promise that I will take care of him however he needs it. Even if he somehow lost his memories and he doesn't know me or he's developed some schizophrenic symptoms, I will do anything in my power to take care of him. I can work harder. I can be more devoted to him. I need another chance.

As I press the answer button I feel something that I have never experienced, a chilling feeling that goes through me as fast as someone snapping their fingers. It's like I've been zapped by lightning. "Father!" I say quickly before hearing heavy breathing. I open my mouth and want to put the phone down, my whole body is in a free fall moment. Cold. All I feel is cold.

"Kyoko, he's gone," Father says and I head the deep depression in his tone. I feel terrible that I am here with our daughters when I could have been holding Corn's hand during his last breath. I shake my head and laugh painfully.

"He's gone through the ICU? He's gone into surgery?" I ask and Father takes a very slow breath.

"They said that it would have been a miracle if he had survived the operation. They asked me if I wanted his ring and I just…I took anything of his that they offered me but they still need to go through some more steps to…" Father sobs painfully. "Release the body to us. Kyoko, I can take care of everything here but what do you want me to do?"

I know that Father is relying on his acting skills to even have this conversation with me. I don't know what to do. I try to close my eyes but all I can hear is his voice, all I can see is his eyes, his hair, his smile. I put a hand to where I have the tattoo with his name and I scream unable to take the pain. I throw the phone down onto the ground and sob. The pain is too much. Ever since I was a six-year-old, I've relied on Corn. Ever since I was sixteen-years-old, I've had faith that Ren or Kuon would always be there to help me with whatever I might need.

I no longer have him in my life. I scream again, grabbing his pillow but it just hurts so much to smell him and I break down, my arms wrapped around the pillow. Kuon. Please, please no. Please.

I hear a knock on the door and I see Rose. I know that she says that she's sorry but if it wasn't for her disobeying me, he would still be alive. She nervously comes over to me and I pull back. As she reaches for me I take a step back. I don't want her here. Someone else has to take care of her. I don't want to see her right now.

"Your dad is dead!" I snap at her and she pauses and bows her head. "He died because you.- why can't you listen and do what you're told!" I yell at her before feeling myself throw up as she stands there shivering. I don't want to deal with her anymore. I don't want to forgive her. I feel myself choking as my mind seems to warp. "Don't touch me. If it wasn't for you then Kuon would still be here, he would still be alive."

I see Rose break down into tears and she runs off and I can't cope with this. I can't deal with this alone. I've spent so much time and energy in keeping us together and now Kuon….I sniff. Kuon would want me to go after Rose and assure her that this was an accident and that she's just a little girl and never intended for this to happen. Kuon would wrap her up tight in his arms and promise they would work on the pain disappearing together but Kuon's always been the good parent. I've always learned by following Kuon's example.

I reach for my phone and my eyes widen as I see that Father has remained on the line.

"I'll send Julie over, then when she has the girls, do you want to join me at the hospital?" he asks and I can hear how devastated he is. I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have blamed her. I've turned out just like my own mother.

"Okay," I reply in a hollow manner.

KyKyKyKy

I look at the items which they have handed me. There's his wedding ring, a couple of chains that were around his neck, his shoes, some other items, and then the jacket he was wearing. The shirt and pants were too bloodied to be given to me. I don't know what to do. He started gasping for air and went into shock in the ambulance and then I was told that I couldn't come with him into the ER. Before I knew anything else, I was being told that he was dead.

What is perhaps most devastating is I saw it all happen. I could have saved him or pulled him back. I could have done something other than fail my little boy again. I look around feeling drained. Thirty two years ago, I was in this same hospital with Julienna who was in labor. I remember the happiness and pride I felt when I rushed here with her. How proud I was to be a father. I remember the first time I saw Kuon how much I treasured him. I remember when he reached out to take my finger and blinked up at me.

I know that Kyoko is dealing with this in her own way but I feel like a horrible grandfather. Rose isn't at fault here and Kuon wouldn't want for anyone to think that he had died because of her. Kuon would want people to think that he was responsible for his own death and that he chose to protect his daughter. I can make the excuse that I was taking care of Ana but I should have done more to help. If I had been only a moment faster.

I look up at the nurse who has just passed me, they look panicked. "I'm sorry," I tell her feeling completely drained. "My son? I know that his time of death has been recorded but I wanted to know if there was a chance that I could see him. Has he been taken to the morgue? His cor—cor-pse" I choke on that word, my whole body shaking as I break down. He doesn't have a living and breathing body, he has a corpse, remains. He died at thirty-one. If he had lived just one more day he would have been thirty-two.

Before the nurse responds, I see Kyoko staggering towards me. She runs towards me and I open my arms for her. I can't blame her for her reaction and it's not going to make things better to try to convince her how to handle her own grief.

"The doctor didn't tell you?" the nurse says and I look at her completely bewildered, Kyoko wrapped up in my arms. "I'm not sure I should say this but…the corpse is gone."

KyKyKyKy

I can't move. I don't know where I am. I can't even turn my head. I try to open my mouth to say something but nothing is coming out. Is this the afterlife? I only see blackness and some blue and yellow lighting. The afterlife is like a nightclub or video game?

I feel someone coming over to me and I try to open my mouth but I'm frozen. I feel dizzy, woozy. I didn't know that I would be so present mentally to face my own demons.

"Don't worry," I hear someone else say as I sense two bodies in the room. "You won't die until I tell you to. I've wanted this for a long time. Keeping you alive for a month was hard enough." The voice is so familiar. Ice cold feelings. Seeing Rick's body. It can't possibly be?

I feel a needle jammed into my arm and then a release of medicine which is making me feel light headed and that I'm no longer in reality. "The drugs will sedate him for you," the woman with the unfamiliar voice says and I feel the first woman grab my hair and yank it and I'm not able to fight back. Am I completely catatonic? "Ricky, what do you want to do to him?"

"It'll come in time," 'Ricky' says and she forces me to look at her.

Does Tina still hate me this much!?

**End of Chapter Fifty Two**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**


	53. Chapter 53

**AN: **I actually managed to get a few reviews on the last chapter and since I like the attention thought that I'd post this. Now, I am going to show the part in between but the time frame is going to be distorted between flashbacks and regular time. Still, I need to also limit my time on this because there are other fics that need my attention 😉

**Chapter Fifty Three**

I've become nothing more than a body these days. I'm not sure what happened in her life but Tina has become a deranged psycho. Yes, I apologize for ruining her life with Rick. I can not apologize enough for ruining the life that she might have had with Rick but that was years ago and it didn't result in my keeping Rick strapped to a table and taunting them about leaving their family behind.

Apparently Kyoko has distanced herself from everyone including the girls who are being taken care of by my parents. My mother is still working and has started a charity organization in my name. My dad though, the person who I thought would be focused on has become invisible. People are questioning where he is and Tina or 'Ricky' isn't doing anything but torturing me about the fact that he's dead and nobody cared enough to announce it.

I don't even know how my body is going to be if I ever get found. I can't move, well I can move slightly but I try not to. If they see it, it means that they either up the dosage of whatever drug they're using on me or I get a pretty severe shock. I hear someone enter the room and close my eyes. Sometimes they force me to look at them, let's see if they prefer to this way.

"Oh..my god," I hear a very familiar male voice say and I try hard not to let my delusions get in the way. I can't imagine anything comforting or it's going to hurt more that I no longer have it. I feel someone coming over to me and try to remain more still than they think that I can be. I feel something taken off of me and yanked out. I grimace before hearing the man speak.

"Oh god. Sorry. I'll try to do this painlessly," he says and I open my eyes and see that within the shadows there's a man wearing a hooded leather jacket with a scarf over his mouth and sunglasses on. My eyes go down to his right arm. He has a gun on him and I can tell that he has a knife strapped to the inside of his jacket.

"Kuon," he says and I flinch, turning to the side before the pain comes from him taking something else out. He picks up my arm and sees how I don't have any control over it. "What did they put into you?" he asks and I just want to stop hearing that voice. My breath starts racing and I hear him come to the other side of me. Is he going to stab me? Is he here to finish things off?

"Damn this!" he snaps before taking off the sunglasses and I see those familiar eyes from my childhood.

"D-aad?" I ask in a whisper and he smiles at me weakly before grabbing my body and seems to pat it down to see that all the wires I had on are taken off. He picks me up bridal style and pulls me towards him. He also grabs something else that I can't really see. As he holds me to him as if I was still a little kid, I hear something else and then feel Dad only have one arm around me. I hear a gunshot and then brace myself before feeling Dad running out.

Did my father actually _shoot_ somebody?

As much as I'm trying to keep up with all of this, I feel my head fall to the side and Dad puts both arms around me. "I've got you," he whispers to me and I have to ask the same question. Did my father just _shoot_ somebody!?

KyKuKyKu

"_The doctor didn't tell you," one of the nurses says to Father and I. I don't want to think about what the words might be next. That his body was crushed in a way where we won't be able to see what he looked like before he was taken to the hospital? That he's missing some piece of his corpse? That he's turned a pale blue color because of cyanosis. "The body is missing."_

_I pause before turning to face the nurse. What the hell does that mean? I manage to calm myself down enough to deliver a sharp glare to the woman opposite me. I feel a swirling of demons surrounding me and laugh darkly. Father's eyes are wide but I don't know if it's because of my reaction or what this bi-woman actually said._

"_You said that my husband's body is MISSING!?" I yell in a mix of disbelief and anger. "How INCOMPETENT is this hospital! What happened? Did somebody steal i-" I say as I bring the girl to the wall and put a single finger on her throat. I press my nail down onto her throat and then hear Father laughing weakly. _

"_How are you going to apologize for this?!" I ask feeling that Father has actually broken due to the stress of today and the fact that tomorrow would have been Kuon's birthday. We were going to celebrate his life, his accomplishments, he'd finally recovered enough to have a celebration with close family friends. I want to murder this girl for even suggesting that Kuon's body is gone._

"_He might be alive," Father says and I look at him. As much as I want to believe that is true, I've been with Kuon and I felt that pain through me that makes me believe he's gone. I glare at Father feeling as if he's taunting me. _

"_If we can't account for his body then maybe there isn't a body to bury," he laughs sounding like a damn psychopath. Well, I can't help but feel sorry for him. His precious son who he tried to save has gone missing because some damned staff member is a necrophiliac._

"_Find the body or I'll sue this whole hospital either that or I'll burn it to the ground," I tell her. I don't think I could ever do that. There are a lot of sick people here. They are at least helping some people but for Kuon to not only die but for me not to be able to give him the type of funeral he deserves. It goes beyond devastating to me. _

KyKuKyKu

I'm not sure why Father wants me here or why he said that he refused to answer any questions about what's going on. It's been nearly two months since Kuon's death and that means it's nearly a year from a traffic accident which I wish every single day that I had been in instead of Kuon. I know that I've lost weight, I know why everyone refers to me as a ghost. I don't want to be an enabler any longer to Father's -

"Get away from me!" I hear someone yelling and I take a deep and painful breath in. It sounds so much like his voice. Still, if it was Kuon's voice it wouldn't have that deep level of fear in it. There would be those broken phrases, that stuttering. I'm being manipulated again. Father has trapped me into his delusions. I thought I would be okay. I didn't have to be a mother or wife anymore. I could just be alone but that voice. It's haunting.

"Sir, we need you to be calm or else we'll have to use a sedative," the doctor says and I look into the room. I freeze as I look at the medical staff, I look at Father, I look at a man who appears very much alike to my deceased husband.

"Don't you d-d-dare come…clo-sser with…that thi-thing!" he yells and I stand there before walking over to a doctor who is getting a needle prepared. Without any prompting, I grab the doctor by the wrist.

"He said not to go near him with that thing," I say in a very cold manner before looking back at him. He's shaking, his eyes wide in a way that I've never seen him before, he looks so different from just his expression and his body posture but there's so much…Kuon.

"Are you real?" I ask him as I take a step over to him and see Father place a hand on his shoulder. What happened? Who was responsible for this?

"I don't…know," he says in a frightened manner and I put a hand on his cheek. I tilt my head to the side and quickly lean up, kissing his lips and pull away, tears clouding my eyes. His kisses are still the same. I wrap my arms around him and he pushes me back, moving into the corner and starts staring at his hands. What's going on with him? What happened to him?

"You did this!" he shouts at a female doctor in the room. She looks shocked as he points at her. "It's your fault! You caused this to ha-ha-ha-happen," he says before starting to cough very painfully. "You b-b-B***"

I kneel down beside him as he seems to have trouble breathing. I watch as he grabs a knife meant for surgery and throws it until it's about an inch away from the doctor's head. He is gasping for breath and is holding another surgical knife. Something has broken him. I don't know how to help him. I bring him to me and hold him as he attempts to breathe. He closes his eyes as his head remains on my shoulder and I see the doctor behind him with a large needle. I take a deep breath and pull him closer to me. I nod to the doctor and they inject him. He falls unconscious in my arms.

"Oh my god, Kuon," I whisper as I struggle against the doctors. I want to keep him in my arms right now. Only I know how to really and truly protect him. "What happened to you?" I ask before Father gestures that I have to let the doctors get him back to the bed. "Corn. I'm right here. I'm not going to leave. I'm right here."

"The patient appears to be dangerous, we might need to use a straighjacket," a hear a doctor say behind me and I look at Kuon who has been moved back to the bed. I push my hand through his hair and see the wounds on his face, I don't know what his body looks like but it's as if the wounds go far down from these surface marks and have completely destroyed his psyche.

"I don't think he needs a straightjacket," I try to tell them but am ignored. I lean forward and kiss his lips. "I'll be right here waiting for you to wake up," I tell him lovingly before looking at Father. "Thank you," I whisper. I don't know how to begin filling Kuon in on my life but I'm still stuck by one thing. Has Kuon really become so dangerous that they think he needs straightjackets and sedatives.

**End of Chapter Fifty Three**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Fifty Two

Guest, Kaname671, kyoko minion

**AN: **So, I have a question for anyone out there who wants to answer it. I keep getting PMs about me not updating works which people want to see and focusing on ones that I like. Do you think that I should try to write for the more popular ones, the ones I really like even if they are not popular, or a little of both? I'm thinking a little of both but maybe also go for the frequency of reviews since I'm a review monster.

Anyway thanks for letting me ponder


	54. Chapter 54

**Chapter Fifty Four**

I jolt awake as I hear a loud crashing sound like something breaking. It takes a second for my brain to register what is happening before I see the shadow at the window. Kuon. Kuon's alive. I feel the breeze from the open window and then look around questioningly. Kuon's hair is slightly longer, the brown has faded quit a bit, and he looks thinner. His arm on his left side has gone limp but he's just staring out the window.

"Corn?" I ask as I go over to him and he stares out the window.

"Too damn light!" he snaps at me and I take a step back as I blink through the darkness. There is a soft light from the hallway but the light in this room _isn't _on. "People need things too damn bright!" he says before laughing in a cold manner. "They should get used to the darkness. Most people live in the darkness. It's only natural to live in the darkness. These people…they take everything for granted."

I cover my mouth as I yawn and then my eyes widen as he follows those words with a string of curses. I'm surprised that even with the torture that they put him through, his voice has improved, his speech has improved. I walk over to him before feeling something sharp on the bottom of my shoe. I reach down and touch the broken glass. Broken glass?

I move close to him and wrap my arms around him. He struggles for a moment before wrapping his right arm around me. He was using his left arm last night. I hear people out by the window, late night attendants and look out. They've turned an outside light on as well as flashlights and I can see that the window in Kuon's room isn't open, it's broken and the lamp from the hospital room has broken on the ground directly below. I blink confused.

"They want to trap me here, Kyoko," he says as I hear Father trying to come to terms with what might be happening. "I can't leave. They want to trap me. I'm sorry," he apologizes again with a bowed head and I feel the tears as he holds me, gripping me a little too much but I wonder if he actually knows this. "They want to hurt me." He tells me and I hear a couple of nurses from the hallway. The light is turned on and I look to see that a table and chair have been flipped over. I return my eye contact to Kuon's face and push my hand through his beard.

"Corn," I try to comfort him since he looks so broken and empty. "They don't want to hurt you, they're worried about you. If you don't feel safe here then maybe we can go home," I suggest and he nods, more tears down his cheeks. I turn to the doctors. "I want to take him home as soon as possible."

"He might be dangerous," a doctor says as he moves cautiously towards Kuon. I can tell that he's still a resident.

"He's _not_ dangerous," I say in a blunt manner as I narrow my eyes, glaring darkly at him. I turn back to Kuon and cup his cheek. "Would going home help you feel safer?"

"I insist that for your own safety," the doctor continues and I shake my head. I hold to Kuon's hand and turn to the doctor.

"We're _fine_," I stress. "Please arrange the paperwork so that we can leave as soon as possible," I tell her before focusing on Kuon's left arm. He's starting to move it again. Is it to do with stress.

"I think that Mr. Hizuri might have a drug addiction," the resident says and I bitterly laugh.

"I don't give a f**" I tell him before wrapping my arms around Kuon again. "He's alive. That's _all_ that matters to me."

KyKuKyKu

_I feel a deep sting through my body and I don't know what I've done to deserve this. I can tell there's some sort of item over my heart but I still can't tell what's going on. I can't move. I feel something on my face and 'Ricky' aka Tina stands over me again. I still can't understand why she won't forgive me for something that happened when I was fifteen years old. Okay. It's not something that I should ever expect to be forgiven about but how much of her life has she spent around this? _

_I open my mouth to try to speak but can only get my lips parted less than quarter of an inch. I feel a sharp stab in my arm again. "That should do instead of food," she says and I try to keep my eyes closed but they are forced open and I'm forced to look at pictures of pain, Kyoko's pain. _

"_You really thought that you were worthy of human interaction?" she asks before pointing to the photo. "I mean, this woman is disgusting, depraved, she should be locked up…" I try to struggle again. I don't know what her point is when it comes to saying these things but I don't want Kyoko to be insulted. "I mean, bestiality is a crime, perverse, disgusting."_

_I try to steady myself. So she wants to call me a monster, is __that__ her plan. Okay. Call me a monster. I don't know why I'm stuck this way or who that blonde is who appears to have some medical training. I've heard worse. I can suffer through the taunts and the name calling, as long as Kyoko never sees me that way, as long as that isn't the impression I left on my daughters._

"_You're a sick monster. You should be caged up and forbidden to come near a human. You're scum but soon you'll learn that," she says as she shows me a flicker of pictures of blood, fire, mutilation, and then another picture of Kyoko. "Rick was never able to take a wife and yet, you've attacked and wounded this poor woman. She's insane. I mean, to think that you were even part human. You're nothing, you shouldn't even have a name. I should kill you. Rid the world of the monster you are but I doubt that anyone would thank me for my service."_

_Another flicker of images of pain, death, torture, and then another picture of Kyoko and this time our wedding. She must have taken this from a magazine or something. "Don't you feel guilt about being with her." _

KyKuKyKu

My eyes flicker in the darkness as I put my hand out and feel someone right next to me. I slam my hand over the person's throat and start to tighten my hold but I feel a hand on my cheek and my grip loosens. I hear the other person cough and I look at her, staring at her. She looks just like Kyoko. No. This is a delusion. This can't be Kyoko. Kyoko is not here. I pull back, my body shaking.

"Who the he-hell are you!" I yell at her and see her flinch slightly. She pushes me back with more force then I expected and sits up, one hand on her throat. "Get out of my wife's body!"

"Co-Corn," she coughs a little. Have I actually done damage to her vocal chords? I turn the light on and move backwards. This is Kyoko, isn't it? This is our bedroom in our house. This is Kyoko. I push my hands through my hair and begin pacing but as I do, I see claws where my hands and fingers should be. I fall down onto the ground like an animal would and try to cover my face. I can't be the person who hurt her. I can't destroy her like they told me that I would.

Soon she is right in front of me, she kneels there staring at me and then gently pushes my hair back. I shake my head desperately. She wants to cage me. She wants to put a leash on me. I can't be here. It's not right. Bestiality is a crime. Bestiality is a sin. She pulls back and sits there and after a long time, I look up and she is still patiently sitting there.

"Hi," she says with a weak smile and I stare at her. "Can I help?" she asks and I shiver.

"Get out of my wife's body," I glare at her and she sighs. She's going to run. She should run. Instead, she just sits there sitting Japanese style with her back as straight as I remember. She places her hands on her knees and I have flashbacks of when I first acted opposite her in that crazy test. I sob again, bringing my head to the floor. "Kyoko," I whisper and she moves so that she has her legs to the side of her. The next thing that I know is that she has my head resting on her lap.

"It'll be okay," she tries to tell her. "I'm here, Corn. I'm here."

KyKuKyKu

_I don't want to breathe any longer. I have no reason to continue. Kuon is gone. Our daughters would be better off without me. I know how to interact with Ana but Rose. This is Rose's fault. If she hadn't misbehaved, if Kuon hadn't wanted to protect her then he would be here. I wish that he were here instead of her. No. I'm terrible to think that. I can't turn out like my own mother. I need to push through this pain and remember the deepest love I have for our daughters. _

_I hear the phone ring and look at the text from Julie-san. _

'_We should discuss how to honor Kuon.'_

_I stare at the text. How could she write that to me!? How could she just so easily accept that Kuon is gone, how could she just be so casual with it. Your god damn child is dead, you should be in mourning. I can't believe that she can just text that to me. Does she have no soul? No heart? I throw the phone to the side._

_This is because Rose is there, probably. It's because she doesn't understand what she's done and how much heartbreak she's brought to this family. I should never have had children if losing Kuon was the result of that. Corn was always my confidant, my hero, the man I loved so deeply in my heart. I should have never had children and thought that my life would be perfect._

_I grab to his ring which I've set right next to my precious stone that he gave to me. If I hadn't been born then maybe Kuon would still be alive. If I had never met Corn, never been selfish enough to fall in love with him, never tried to keep him for myself then this wouldn't be the fate that had to befall him. "I'm sorry," I whisper as I curl up holding his wedding ring in my hand. "I'm so sorry, Corn."_

**End of Chapter Fifty Four**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Fifty Three

Kaname671, kyoko minion

**AN: **I think I devised a schedule where I can write this fic as well as my others and update on a Sunday. It's hard because I also do about 20-30 hours a week of school work hoping to become a court reporter but hopefully I don't falter this time.


	55. Chapter 55

**AN: **I promise that from this point on, I'm going to be working on Kuon's recovery. I'm not the type of writer who wants to wrap all of their fics up with a nice little bow and got scared of the thought of not writing this particular fic. Now, I know I could have gone with a bad seizure leading to some brain damage but hey, jumping that shark's sometimes pretty fun.

**Chapter Fifty Five**

_I'm staring at that demon with my hands at my side but my heart is beating painfully in my chest. I want to argue against him. I want to tell him to shut up and protect myself, protect my shaking nerves. He's a Beagle. He should learn how to sit and act like a Beagle. _

"_If that person continued feeling that way, unable to escape his life, then by now, he is most likely broken or has already left this world." _

KyKuKyKu

I can't help but keep remembering the way those words sounded inside my head. I'm so happy that he's alive but they've broken him so badly. If his outside matched his inside then maybe I wouldn't recognize him. I feel guilty about saying that. I go over to him as he sits there shaking as he looks out the window. I take a seat opposite him and reach out to take his hand. "Hi," I try to say in a calming manner but his eyes widen as he looks at my hand. Should I not have taken his?

"It doesn't hu-hurt you?" he asks me as he lets his fingers tap against my skin. I stare at him. What does he mean that it doesn't hurt me? What was supposed to hurt me?

"I don't understand," I tell him as I lean forwards. He bows his head and shivers. "Kuon?" I ask nervously. I'm a little afraid that I don't know what his triggers are. I know that I'll be ready to use physical force if needed to protect myself but I'm scared for him. I have to believe that he's still present.

"My cl-cl-claws," he says as he pulls his hand out and then turns his hand in front of him, staring at it. I look at him. I know he's had some type of illegal substance or poison or at least a rare drug through his body but his mind can't be that twisted. I don't know what he's seeing when he studies his hand like that.

"Claws?" I ask gently and he looks at me with wide eyes.

"I'm not hu-hu-human," he says before looking away, the fear of rejection on his face. I freeze. What is he talking about? Claws? Not being human? What kind of drugs did they have him on? Who were those people who had him? Is he safe here? Maybe we should leave and go to Kyoto or something. "I'm sorry. If I ha-hadd known…" He pushes his head to his knees and I feel the torture that's going through him.

I kneel in front of him.

_If that person hasn't already been driven to insanity, then he has probably already left this world._

I cringe as I hear it and as I look at Kuon, I think about what I once heard about people who were insane. You can see it in their eyes. It's like something that has been cracked. I take very slow breaths as I tilt my head to the side and he looks at me, his whole body slumped over. I don't know what to say but I have to keep smiling supportively. "I think you are very much a human," I tell him.

I have to be honest with myself. I knew that Kuon had some mental and psychological issues when I agreed to marry him. I knew that there was a chance that our children might develop them if they were hereditary. I even knew that Ren had a dark part in his heart before I even knew the connection between him and Kuon.

"I'm sorry," he whispers before crying, his head hung and I gently move so that I can wrap my arms around him as close as possible. I don't care that he's crying or that he might have a drug dependency or that he's having violent outbursts. I thought that he was dead. I thought that I had lost him. I've dealt with my own anger and darkness in the past and I know that there's the sweet Kuon, the amazing Corn, underneath all of this pain. He just needs to be reminded of that. "I should be lo-cked up."

I stand up and force him to look at me by placing my hands on either side of his face. "Look at me," I tell him and then kiss him passionately before drawing back. "We're going to get through this together. We have to just take it one step at a time. We have to break it down into tasks. Do you think that you could eat for me?" I ask him, he nods shakily. "Okay. Let me make us something to eat then."

KyKuKyKu

She's touching me without being hurt or burned. She still says that she loves me even though I was about to tell her that I was actually a monster who adopted a human form. It's as if that doesn't matter to her. I have to try to do better for her. What did the doctors tell me when I was starting recovery. Pick things that matter and prioritize them. For me what matters most is Kyoko and the girls, aka my family.

I need to concentrate on who I want to be rather than who those two women _told_ me to be. "Rose an-ddd Ana?" I ask as I turn to Kyoko and her back immediately straightens and she shifts nervously.

"I think they are doing okay. I haven't spoken to them for a little bit. Julie-san has been taking care of them," Kyoko admits. I hear the guilt in her voice. I don't blame her although it saddens me. I wish my girls could have stayed together. "Are you angry?"

I look at her before shaking my head. Of course I'm not angry. As much as I wish they could have been together to look after each other, I'm a nutcase. Well, maybe that isn't an accurate term but I let them down. I don't know what happened after I went to the hospital. I put a hand to my forehead and frown. I was in the hospital or I must have been and then there was Tina and a girl who said that she had helped Fuwa torture me before. There was blood and a gun and. I grimace with a hand to my forehead and Kyoko rushes towards me.

"What's happening?" she asks as she sits down with me once again. "Kuon? Sweetheart?" she asks as she cups my cheek and brings my chin up so that we can make eye contact. "Kuon?" she asks again. "I just got you back. You have to tell me if something is wrong."

"I…I'm fi-fine," I tell her and she looks at me not believing it. I don't blame her. I wouldn't have believed myself either. "I…this dark energy," I tell her and she nods. "I fail—failed you." I turn and stand up and she reaches for my hand but I pull away. My mind is spinning and the world seems blurry and then the blackness again. I feel pain in my hand and I pull back to see that I just punched a large hole in the wall. I look down at my knuckles. Did I bruise them? I can barely remember what happened.

"Sit down," Kyoko tells me and I look at her. I turn to see that a chair is broken into pieces by the wall which has a dent in it and one of the vases Kyoko picked out is shattered, the flowers and water all over the ground. I don't know what happened. Could I actually hurt her or the girls whilst I'm this way? It was like Cain Heel or my earlier versions of Kuon all over again. I start to visualize the claws, start to feel the horns and the tail and then I feel Kyoko grab my arm and pull me over to the chair at the table.

"Sit down," she says as she points to the chair once again. I follow her desire and sit down, she takes my hand in hers and examines it being very careful about it. She's much more concerned about my hand then the damage that I've done to the vase, the chair, or the wall. I look her over. She's not shaking. She doesn't appear hurt. She isn't running away from me. She stands and I get a little worried that she's going to report me for domestic violence or something but she quickly returns with a damp cloth, some bandages, and some ointment. She reaches for my hand and examines it again before wrapping the cloth around it.

"Kyoko," I whisper nervously. This is just like when I threw that lamp out of the window. I had no reason to do that, I just felt like I had fallen into a hole that time…just like this time. "I don't…I damage-" I try to tell her and she smooths my hair back.

"Don't worry," she tells me even though I'm not sure what happened. "Just focus on the sting of your hand. We can clean everything else up." I look back at the damage but she cups my cheek and brings my attention back to her. "See, you're still my sweet Kuon."

I look at her and then down at my hand again. How can she say that when I've obviously gone berserk?

"I don't…thi-thinkk I sh-should see the…girls ju-just…ye-yet." I'm stuttering again, stumbling over my words like I hadn't been doing before. This must be some kind of psychological issue.

She nods and then takes a look at my hand, she puts the ointment over my knuckles and then wraps my hand with the bandages. "I understand. They do know that you're alive so I think that you should call them later on. I've done a lot of damage there and need to make up for it. Do you think you can do that? A phone call?"

I nod. It's the very least that I can do. I see Kyoko rise and she grabs a plastic bag before starting to put the vase and flowers in it, she then starts to throw the parts of the chair that will fit in there as well, leaving the parts which don't by the side. I should be the one cleaning up the mess.

"I could…have d-done that," I protest but she just returns to me and kisses me, tears in her eyes again.

"I still have your birthday presents," she tells me and I bow my head. Before the accident with Rose, we were going to celebrate my birthday. She had already done so much planning on it. Now it's at least two months after that day and she still has my wrapped gifts despite believing me to be dead. "I was terrified that I wouldn't be able to give them to you."

I nod and see her go to get the gifts. I really suck. I made her clean up after me and I don't even remember breaking that stuff. I wonder if she was scared of me when I did it or how she managed to get me to snap back to reality. I need to figure out those triggers as soon as possible.

**End of Chapter Fifty Five**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Fifty Four

Guest, Kaname671

**AN 2:**

I really hate doing it this way but might start updating my fics based on review count for last chapter (unless they are ones I'm addicted to writing and excited to write like this one). I know Skip Beat isn't the most popular, this website is being visited less frequently, and fewer and fewer people are leaving reviews but I do want to write to people's interests.


	56. Chapter 56

**Chapter Fifty Six**

I know that I want to be here. I know that I love her and I love our girls. I don't want to risk hurting her. I thought that I was passed this. I look at the different medications which the hospital gave me and turn them over in my hands. I sigh before seeing Kyoko watching me. She says she hasn't taken a bath for a long time because the loneliness was too painful. I wish my girls could have stayed together but I understand how it might have been painful for her.

"What ab-bout this?" I ask as I show her the bottle of sedatives they told me to take and she comes over to me. She wraps her arms around me and presses her head into my chest. She breathes deeply.

"You don't have to take them if you don't want to," she whispers as she closes her eyes again and presses herself closer to me. We both know that the side effects say that they might leave me a little nauseous or sleepy or seem to lack emotion but it's better than entering a black pit of rage and waking up to find that I've destroyed multiple items in our home.

"I want the girls," I tell her and she nods. She gently removes the pill bottles from my hands and looks over them before getting two of the pills meant to relax me into her hand and a glass of water. She hands them to me and I take them. I look at her wanting to make everything better but feel a sting in my head. I have to ignore it or else she'll worry about me. I feel my left arm go a little limp and force myself to move it. She can't know about the nerve damage that I feel in it or the fact that I could have died from a collapsed lung if they didn't bring me back to life to torture me. That's the thing, two months ago I easily could have died but those two women saved my life only so they could torture me, it doesn't make sense.

No. If I continue to think about it the anger will come out and I'll just show that I'm the broken person that I felt like as a child. I feel Kyoko's hand on my upper arm and she's looking at me with concern dancing in her eyes. I sigh and take her hand. "Ca-Cann we gg-go…to J-Jappan soon."

She kisses my arm and smiles, "As soon as the president agrees to it," she tells me before admiring me and smiles. "You have no idea how much you mean to me," she tells me before looking away. "I just hope that Rose is able to forgive me for being a terrible mother," I look at her confused. I still don't know what happened between them but I'm sure that Kyoko never physically abused her, it can't have been _that_ bad.

KyKuKyKu

_It's been a couple of days since I've seen the girls and I think it's only because I feel a duty to be here as to why I'm here. I don't know what to say to the girls when I see them. I don't know if they want to see me. I just know that if Rose had behaved herself then Kuon wouldn't have had to save her. Still Rose is a little kid, she didn't mean to cause the accident that killed Kuon._

_I knock on the door. I've already told Father that I'm going to visit them today. He seemed a little distant on the phone but who's to blame him. Both Father and Julie-san were doting parents who carried Kuon in their hearts more than other parents might. Whether it be out of guilt or whether they had always felt this way, I'm not sure. I think it was the latter though._

_As the door opens, Julie-san embraces me and I can't help but think that even after a couple of days, she feels thinner. I look her over. She usually dresses up and puts makeup on. She usually wears very fashionable outfits that I've look at with an inspired heart and a desire to go shopping. Right now, she's dressed for comfort and her face is pale, her eyes red. _

"_Kyoko," she breathes out as she hugs me close. "It's good to see you," she moves into the house, gesturing for me to follow her. I walk after her and see that the girls are eating breakfast, well Ana's eating breakfast, Rose is just sort of poking at it._

"_Mama!" Ana yells as she jumps down and runs towards me. I hug her close and pick her up to warmly embrace her. I see Rose looking at me and shaking. I turn away from her, I don't know what to say to her. Seeing her just reminds me that Kuon is not coming home this time. The accident she caused cost Kuon his life. "I missed you!"_

"_I missed you too," I tell Ana as I kiss her forehead. _

"_Really?" Rose asks in a quiet voice and I don't know how to answer her. Should I tell her that every time I look at her I'm reminded that Kuon is dead. I don't think she meant to kill her father. _

"_So," I turn back to Ana, "What have you been up to? Has Grandm-"_

"_We watched kid-Daddy," Ana tells me and I see Rose move awkwardly in her seat. She bows her head and starts to shake but I don't know how to comfort her anymore. I see Juile-san come towards her and feel a bit more ease in her doing so._

"_I showed them some home movies of Kuo—Kuon," Julie chokes on the word and I nod._

"_M-mama?" Rose asks and I try to ignore the sound of her voice. I don't want to yell at her again but I feel that frustration within me. If she had just stayed still and behaved herself then Kuon would still be alive. I don't reply and see Julie-san comfort her. That's good. If Julie-san does it then I know that she's going to be all right and I won't hurt her like part of me wants to. _

"_Please don't show them any more movies," I tell Julie-san whose back straightens and I see Rose run off in tears. I put Ana back down, "Maybe I should go," I say to them and see Julie-san look at me. I see the hurt and grief but also disappointment in her eyes._

"_You know she never intended Kuon's death, don't you?" she asks me and I know that but Kuon died saving her. I don't know when I'll be able to forgive her for that. _

KyKuKyKu

When I contacted Julie-san about Kuon having a video call with the girls instead of seeing them in person, I was scolded. I thought it was for the best but obviously I was wrong. Julie-san doesn't seem to see it that way and I can't blame her. I would want to physically touch Kuon too.

It's been a few hours since he took that medication but he's just…he's a little different. I hold his hand but it doesn't make me feel connected to him, something just seems wrong and robotic with him now. No, I'm projecting my fears of the drugs onto the situation. It's fine. I'm fine. Kuon's fine. I'm just needlessly worrying. "I'm sorry," I apologize and he looks at me. "I wasn't able to ta-" I'm about to finish my apology before I feel something push me back a little and look to the side where Julie has thrown her arms around Kuon.

I drop his hand and take a step back to give him his space.

"Hi, Mom," he says in a whisper and I blink. Am I imagining things or did his voice sound a little monotone when he said that. No, this is all my own fear of the drugs. There's nothing wrong with him. "I'm so-sorry."

"Oh my gosh, Kuon," she chokes as she touches his cheeks, his shoulders, his arms. She embraces him again. "Kuon, I thought - everyone thought…"

"I'm sorry," Kuon apologizes to her again and embraces her as well. I can feel how happy Julie-san is and how she's been longing for this moment since Father most likely told her about it. I step back as I hear the girls and they run towards Kuon, both of them are crying and I'm sure they are confused but they just want their dad. I see him pull both of them into his arms at the same time as he crouches down in front of them. He kisses each of them on the top of their head.

"Daddy, we thought you weren't coming back," Rose tells him and he nods, his eyes are showing some type of blankness but he's smiling. That's good right?

"Daddy, I love you," Ana tells him and I hear that same monotone which is most likely my imagination.

"I missed you both as well," he tells them but I don't hear the emotions in his voice. I know he's saying it with love but my mind has made those words more neutral. As I watch the reunion between Kuon and our daughters, Julie-san steps closer to me.

"I'm sure that he's in shock and trauma but is he okay?" she asks and I nod to her. He's still injured of course but he's been doing well considering what he's been through. Yes, there are those instances of rage where he blacks out and damages things but can anyone blame him for that?

"Regarding the situation, he's been doing well. I think that he's just got so much anger about what happened. He hasn't told me a lot of what happened and he won't with the girls here with us but I'm sure if you talk to him alone he'll tell you." Julie-san looks at me and then at Kuon and the girls and then at me again.

"You say that he's been angry?" she asks me. I nod.

"I don't see that," she replies and I nod again.

"He's not showing it because the girls are here. He doesn't want to upset them but thinking about what he must have gone through, all of that pain which he suffered through. Can you blame him for being angry?" I ask and Julie shakes her head.

"No, I can't blame him. I'm furious too but I've never seen him in this way before…well, apart from that one time but that wasn't usual for him," I stare at her confused, what is she talking about? "I know that we spent years apart and that I never got to see him in his later teen years but I can recognize things about Kuon that have happened in the past and I want to know why it happened."

"Why what happened?" I ask and Julie looks to Kuon again, sniffing as a few tears slide down her cheeks.

"He's hollow," she says and I blink, he's been interacting with the girls just fine and the neutral tone, the stiff movements, that's been in my imagination. I shake my head, I don't really understand what she's attempting to tell me. He's hollow? "It's as if his emotions have been cut off, I've seen it before."

I shake my head, "He's just trying not to be angry in front of the girls," I try to explain and Julie-san takes a slow breath as Father comes to join us.

"I just hope you're right," she says and I see Kuu looking over Kuon, he frowns but as Kuon looks at him, he smiles to him. They are looking at him as if something is wrong. Nothing is wrong. It can't be.

**End of Chapter Fifty Six**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Fifty Five

Guest, Kaname671


	57. Chapter 57

**Chapter Fifty Seven**

As good as it feels to have my girls in my arms, I do feel a little unsteady and I'm wondering if I should have come. If the girls see me lose control of myself then I'll scare them and that wouldn't be the sign of a good father. I have to at least pretend that I'm a decent dad for their sakes. I feel numb. It's like I'm trapped in a box and my body just feels numb. It's different than feeling calm like the pills said. It's as if my emotions are trapped behind this glass wall and I'm….I'm overthinking this.

I stand up and look to Dad who is studying me. Did I do something wrong? Is it that obvious that I'm not steady yet. No. I have to do better. I have to do better for the girls. "I feel like a terrible son," I chuckle weakly before looking away. Dad moves forward and pulls me into another hug. I feel like I've had more hugs within the past forty eight hours than I have for a year. I never intended for people to think that I was dead.

"It's not your fault," Dad says and I pat my jacket pocket. Maybe if I take a couple more pills then it'll be okay. I'll be able to survive. "Are you okay? Is this too much?" he whispers to me and I shake my head, trying to smile through it but I feel strange. It's as if I'm floating and I feel sick. "Kuon?" he asks me and I look down.

"Can I u-use the bath-throom?" I ask feeling as if I'm going to throw up. Dad nods sharing a look with Mom. They have already told me years ago that I should feel a right to this house and that if I ever needed to use the bathroom or the kitchen or anything that I should just go ahead and do it. I have a spare key to every part of this house. Kyoko only has a spare to about half of it but I can enter any part myself. I run into the house, apologizing quickly on the way to the bathroom.

I'm physically shaking as I get to the closest one and then feel the contents of my stomach pouring into the bowl before me. I close my eyes as I face a sharp headache. I need to take more. I can't just throw up and get it out of my system, what if that means that I turn into a crazed psychopath later on when the girls are here. I reach across for a towel to wipe my mouth, I'll apologize to Mom later. As I reach behind me I feel someone's hand and feel Kyoko's wedding ring.

"Sweetheart," she says as she kneels down next to me, "Corn, are you okay?" she asks me and I am shaking. I didn't want her to see this. I try to keep my expression neutral but as I feel the sting from a migraine, I can't help but to cringe. "What's wrong?"

I reach into my jacket and shakily pull out the bottle of pills. I need to wash my hands and take more of these. I don't want the girls to see me like I was. I don't want them scared of me. Before I can even get the pill bottle open, Kyoko takes it from my hand and looks at it. She turns it and I'm pretty sure with her eyesight she can see that there's a lot more than two of them gone by now. I've probably taken six…eight…something like that.

"Why did you bring these?" she asks as she looks at them and then stands up. She grabs a face cloth and gently tips the pills out. "There's supposed to be one hundred and twenty pills that start off in here, right?" she asks and I nod. She looks at them before counting and her eyes widen. She's put them into groups of twenty pills, or at least there's five groups of twenty and then eight loose ones. She counts them again and stares at me. Twelve? I've taken twelve? I didn't even realize.

"Your doctor said four pills a day, didn't he?" she asks and I blink at the piles. Twelve? I mean, I thought that maybe six but how could I have just taken twelve in less than four hours. "Did you put ten of them somewhere else?" she asks and I look at her before flushing the toilet and washing my hands.

"I didn't think that I took that many," I tell her and she looks at me in a much more panicked and emotional manner than I'm treating the situation with. "I wanted to see the girls," I tell her and she looks at the pills before wrapping her arms around me.

"Can we do something right now? Can I ask you for something?" she says and I nod. "Can we talk to Father about this?" I sigh. Dad…I really wonder what Dad is going to think about this. Now even he can't argue that his son is completely f**d up.

KyKuKyKu

_How about if you don't want to go into a facility here, we can talk to Boss and see if there's something he can suggest_

I can't believe that Father said those words to us. He's supposed to love Kuon. He's supposed to want Kuon to be with his friends and family, he's supposed to want to keep Kuon safe. What kind of a lousy father is he to suggest that Kuon be locked away in some psychiatric hospital. I look between them. There's been silence since Father asked that question, silence for a whole…ninety seconds. Kuon turns to me and I know that look. He takes a deep breath in and I know he's afraid to ask.

"This is what they wanted you to do," I tell him and he looks away from me again, his face showing how drained he is. "You already spent so long away from m-from us. We thought you were dead."

"It wouldn't be forever," Kuon says before looking at Father. "Do you think that _would_ be possible? I'm not a Japanese resident. I mean, Kyoko's got special duel citizenship despite Japan's claims about not doing that, but I can't just go to another country wh-wh-where…"

Father leans towards him and without even blinking tells him, "You are Kuon Hizuri. You don't have to let anyone tell you you can't do something…" he sits back and quickly adds, "apart from the police and the government but since you were planning on moving back there anyway."

I look down. I know that it's going to happen but I don't want it to. I want to argue against them and tell them that Kuon is _fine_, he doesn't need to be locked up in a hospital, his anger isn't that unmanageable but I don't want to risk him overdosing on pills and the fact that he took twice as many as he thought he had without realizing it, that could do some damage too.

"We won't be able to know the details until we've contacted Boss but I think something could be worked out. I think that somebody should be there with you whilst you're getting the treatment though," my back straightens as Father says this to Kuon. What is he saying that for? He _knows _that I am going to stay with him. I am not a widow anymore, I'm his wife. I'm going to go with him. Whether he's put into a mental hospital or not, I'm going to stay with him. I love him. I love him more than I ever knew how to love someone. "I'd be happy to volun-"

"I'm going," I tell them immediately. I don't want Father to volunteer to be with Kuon. It doesn't even need me to volunteer. Kuon needs support and I need Kuon. I need to be able to see him and have a deciding say in his treatment options. "I'm going with you," I tell him and he looks at me apologetically. I am so annoyed at him for feeling this is his fault. He hasn't done anything wrong but feeling upset about the fact that he has unwarranted guilt might hurt him further so I'll stay quiet.

"I just need to control it," Kuon tells Father and I sigh. I know this. I'm not stupid enough to fight against it and argue what is obviously wrong but it hurts me. I feel so much pain when I think about what they've put him through. He wanted to have a good life with a wife and kids, he wanted to be an award-winning actor, he wanted to return to America and have a good relationship with his parents. Why is it that other people get what they want and he doesn't?

"Do you need somewhere to stay for tonight?" Father asks and I stand up.

"He has somewhere to stay," I tell them and Kuon looks to me sadly before turning to Father.

"Did I tell you that I tried to strangle Kyoko last night?" he asks and Father looks at him with wide eyes. He looks at me warily and sees the slight bruising on my neck which is only visible under certain light. He reaches out and squeezes Kuon's shoulder.

"It's okay. I'll call Boss right now," he says and then turns to me. I feel exhausted by all of this. I could have handled it by myself. "Please don't let him take any more of those pills," he tells me and I feel my back straighten, my hands are in fists at my side. Does he think that I'm an idiot!? I wouldn't give Kuon any more drugs if he begged me for them.

I don't know what I'm about to do or say but I look over at Kuon. He's just sitting there, watching me with a very complicated expression over his face. I take a deep breath and walk over to him. I sit down and turn to face him. I see that complicated smile again, that feeling that he's disappointed me.

"You knew who I was when you asked me to marry you," I tell him and he bows his head, his expression showing how much he's fighting with himself. This obviously isn't what he wants to do but he's always trying to do the best he can for the girls and I. I wonder if there was a time these past twelve months when he really wanted to die – apart from when he actually tried to kill himself, but just continued to fight for me and the girls. Most likely. He doesn't prioritize himself very much, he has trouble even complimenting himself. "You knew that I had once had grudges powerful enough that people talked about dark energy and strange feelings around me. You accepted me for those things. I -"

"If you don't want to come, you don't have to," Kuon says and I look at him sharply.

I feel my heart pounding in my chest. After all that we've been through _that _is what he thinks of me? No. He's hurt. He's been hurting so badly for so long. I can't just jump to feeling pain so quickly. I wait until he's looking at me again. "Why would I not want to come with you?" I ask him and he looks down.

"I've done nothing to add value to your life, you would be happier without -"

I look at him before pulling down my shirt to show him where I have the tattoo. "You are _always _the value in my life. You are my heart," I tell him and reach out for his hand. He takes it. I want to make sure nothing bad ever touches him again just like he's trying to do for me.

**End of Chapter Fifty Seven**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Fifty Six

Kyoko minion


	58. Chapter 58

**Chapter Fifty Eight**

This boy has suffered too much. I understand that this is just a video call but it warms my heart to see him despite the pain that he's suffered. I can see it in him. He's gone through so much and I'm proud of him at the same time. Weaker men would have given up months ago when they had difficulty speaking or leaving the bed. Kuon has fought as valiantly as I knew he would and I am appreciative of how he's still alive.

I don't like where this conversation has headed though. Kuon is calling himself dangerous, a monster, someone unfit for society. It's as if he's speaking from his fifteen year old mindset which in itself is the _most_ dangerous thing.

"I agree that it's important that your mental health be taken care of," I tell Kuon and Kyoko, I'm thrilled to see her with her arms around him. Ten years ago I might not have believed in this, yet I truly hoped for it, for both of them. They compliment each other so well. Once I learned of their past, the origin of their relationship, I knew they were magical and meant to be together despite all their obstacles. "I don't agree with you returning to Japan. If you truly want to get better, then stay in the US. The United States has amazing programs for mental health as well as rehabilitation. I understand the desire to get out of Los Angeles so I can contact a friend and confidant of mine who lives in San Francisco. They run a great outpatient program and could recommend some more suitable drugs."

Kuon starts to shift uncomfortably but I smile as I see Kyoko kiss his cheek and he turns to her. Watching the two of them, having attended their wedding and other important events, thrills me. Knowing their relationship with Maria makes me believe that the Hizuri and Takarada families will be intertwined for generations to come.

"San Francisco sounds good," Kyoko says but she turns to Kuon, "Doesn't it?"

"What if you get hurt?" Kuon asks her and she cups his cheek, pulling his attention away from the computer for a few moments. "I couldn't live with myself if I hurt you."

"First of all I can defend myself," she tells him and I cough to get their attention.

"I can set you up with one of my security guys out there, he's been a bodyguard and house guard to some other people that I know. Besides, I don't think that you can find anyone in a hospital who will bring you the unconditional support which Kyoko can." I see her smile and Kuon closes his eyes thoughtfully. "I also think that you should rely on your father."

"Thank you" I hear a voice behind them and I smile. Of course Shuuhei is there. The love that he holds for his son always wins out against the relationship other father's have. Maybe it is because of the guilt but he has always cared for Kuon despite being blind and selfish in the past.

"Shuuhei," I say loudly so he can hear me, "Would you be open to living with them? It might mean an interruption with your work so I under-"

"I don't have any work, I dropped out from my projects. Wanted to find Kuon," he says and I nod. I knew that he probably did that. "And yes, I will do whatever you think is right for Kuon."

"I need the three of you to work together on this," I turn back to Kuon. "You have to trust that there are other drugs, other forms of help. If none of that works, consider a mental health facility but at least attempt some other methods too. I don't think you are dangerous to Kyoko. Remember, you hurt the people who hurt you, who physically and emotionally tried to drag you down, but did you ever hurt Rick by your own hand?"

Kuon pales as he hears that name. I hate to use it but I have to drive my point through to him. He shakes his head and looks at his wrist which has a watch Kyoko gave to him after she had learned the story. I've seen the engraving that looks like her own handwriting, the way she wrote 'I love you' and signed her name.

"Thank you," Kuon finally says. "It's worth a shot."

"Thank you," I tell him. "I'll be there to visit you in San Francisco as soon as my schedule permits it but I am relieved that you are alive. I'll send you and Shuuhei the information as soon as I can and Kyoko," I say as I look at her and see her sit up more alert. "It's not too late to repair bridges. You've talked with your mother in the past, right? It's the same thing."

She nods and takes a deep breath in, "I'll try," she tells me.

I smile, "Take care of each other. I hope to see you in person very soon," I tell them before ending the call. That boy just needs to realize others care for him deeply and he deserves their love and support. I believe that without his family, he wouldn't have made it so far in his life. I also hope that for them, Rose will be okay. Kuon and Kyoko both know how it is to feel as if you have failed your parent, they also adore their children. I believe that they'll even be able to come with them. That's what I want for all six of them, just to stay together.

KuKyKuKy

I sigh in relief. I turn to both of the men in the room and nod in determination. I'm glad that the president offered us an alternative and one that Kuon is willing to try, it would break my heart to have him not be with me. "So, we'll do a temporary move to San Francisco and when you're feeling better," I tell Kuon. "We can go to Kyoto as was planned. Does that sound okay with everyone?"

"I agree with you," Father says before nodding, "I also agree that you should rely on us. Kyoko can give you more support than anyone can and if there _is_ extra security then nobody should get hurt. I assure you that I will step in at any moment and -"

"stop me at all means," Kuon adds. "If you agree to that then I'll try it. Even if you have to -"

"I'm not going to murder you," Father says and Kuon nods.

"I was going to say, knock me unconscious then I want you to do that. I'd rather wake up with bruises then see them on somebody else." Kuon looks at Father almost begging for him to agree and he does. I don't think it would get that bad that Kuon would need to be knocked out but I'm glad that he's going along with, what I consider, a much better plan.

I take another breath and turn towards Kuon, I cup his cheek before sharing another passionate kiss and then stand up. I brush myself down and then look to Father. I turn back to Kuon. "Now, I need to go sort to something else," I tell him though I'm scared that she won't want to talk to me. I did blame her for something that wasn't her fault. I can't believe that I did that. I'm such a stupid and selfish woman to blame a child for all that went wrong.

I walk over to Julie's craft room where she has been playing with the girls and stand by the door. Ana runs to me and I hug her but I see Rose stiffen. She stands up, looking at me nervously and I hate that I'm the reason my daughter and I have that kind of relationship now. "Rose," I whisper as I hold my arms out for her. I wouldn't blame her if she backed away from me. Instead she runs to me and I wrap her up tightly. I kiss her forehead and feel tears in my eyes. "Oh, Rose. I am so so sorry," I whisper and she starts to cry too. "I acted so terribly. I blamed you for things that weren't your fault. I am sorry from the bottom of my heart. I hope that one day you can forgi-"

"I love you, Mama" Rose says and I hug her closer. I feel guilty for how badly I hurt her. However, I get to hold her to me. "I'm sorry I hurt Daddy."

I sit back and let my hands rest on her tiny shoulders. "You didn't hurt Daddy. Daddy acted like the knight he always does and he saved you. He would have felt pain if you had been hurt instead. I'm sorry that I blamed you for Daddy hurting. I don't know if you can forgive me for that but you're a good girl, a great daughter, you've always been amazing."

Rose sniffs and looks at me again, "Can we go home with you and Daddy?" she asks me and I push her hair back.

"I think Daddy is staying here for tonight and then we're going to be moving soon but you and Ana can come home with me tonight and we'll all move together." I feel a little guilty as I see Julie-san watching me. I have never felt comfortable calling her Mother but she never seems to mind the way I do say her name. Julie stands and gestures to the hallway.

"May I speak to you?" she asks and I nod. I know that we shouldn't leave her out of the conversations, she has a life here as well.

"I'll be right back," I tell the girls. "Continue playing, we'll be right back."

I follow Julie-san down the hallway and she stops. She looks at me. "How's Kuon doing? Is he still having trouble accessing his emotions, I've seen him emotionless before and I hate that. And moving? What's happening? Where are you going?"

"Kuon has a lot of demons he needs to fight against," I attempt to explain and she nods in agreement. "He wanted to go into a mental health facility," I see her expression go into one of shock. "Father and the president talked and there's an outpatient facility and a house that offers a bit more safety so the decision was made to move."

"Okay," she nods and then narrows her eyes, "You're not thinking about going to Japan, the mental health resources here are much better and Kuon needs something that is more structured and doctors who are the most informed."

"San Francisco," I tell her and she pauses but then smiles. "We'll be moving upstate."

"No," Julie shakes her head, "We _all_ will be moving upstate. I'm not going without my son ever again."

I nod with a smile at how we are all in agreement with this. Yes, it will be a shift but if it means that we will all be able to stay together then I would go through hell and back. Please let the medication and the psychiatry work. Please don't have him locked up away from me.

**End of Chapter Fifty Eight**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Fifty Seven

Kaname671


	59. Chapter 59

**Chapter Fifty Nine**

I feel alone again and I know that it's for the best for tonight but I just reach out for him and I just feel the empty side of the bed. I sigh. He's been through so much and he has never given up, or not really, even at his worst he's kept fighting otherwise he'd be dead already. I hate that he has had to suffer his entire life and I can't really change that. All I can do is support him.

I take another breath in and sigh. I look across to the clock and I feel guilty. It's as if I'm hungry. I'm feeling starved from his voice, his touch, his kiss. I know that he's alive but that isn't enough for me. I need to make peace with the situation though. He's staying with his parents for a reason. The girls are back in their own beds and I'm going to make them a good breakfast in the morning but Kuon, I want to solve all of his problems and take away his depression.

Maybe if I make something for him to eat. I know he might not want to eat it but tamagoyaki is something that both him and the girls enjoy and it's a specialty of mine. I'll plan to make him some in the morning just like when we started going out and before we moved to America. It was always so much better getting Ren things from Daruma-ya than Shotaro. Ren always thanked me for them with that heavenly smile that made me feel blissful and yet like I was going to explode at the same time.

Okay. So I could think of some things that I could put _with _the eggs, maybe a side salad or seasoned rice. I look to the clock again, it's the middle of the night but I want him. I am so selfish. I'm like a little kid who didn't actually get that pony from her Christmas letter to Santa.

Before I know it, my hand is on the computer and I'm logging in and pressing to start a video call. I'm so selfish. I shouldn't be doing this. I know that with Kuon's condition, his rest is incredibly important but I wasn't thinking, I just needed him. I hear the sound of the call being accepted after only a few rings and see darkness. Is the video working on his side.

I see a light flicker from a lamp beside the bed and see a very exhausted Kuon sitting up in the bed. "Hey," he says but then yawns. I take a shaky breath feeling a little guilty that I woke him up. "Princess, are you…" he yawns again, "I'm sorry," he apologizes and I shake my head since I'm the one who woke him up. "Are you okay?"

"Sorry," I tell him with my head bowed. "I'm sorry, this call was -"

"Are you okay?" he asks again and I see his concern. He should be more concerned about himself.

"Are _you_ okay?" I ask and he blinks before nodding but I can tell that he's trying to hide something from me. Maybe I shouldn't have left him. Maybe I should have fought for us more than I actually did. He looks away and I put a hand to the screen of the computer. "Kuon? You'd tell me if you're -"

"I had a bad dream," he says before looking away. "How did you know I needed to talk to you?"

My back straightens. I didn't know that? I just knew that I needed to find some way to connect with him. I yearned for him but now that he's telling me that he needed to talk to me, I'm glad. I'm happy that I called when I wanted to. He sighs and I realize I haven't responded yet. "Do you want to talk about it?" I ask and he looks at me with a sad smile.

"Are you happy? I feel like you were happier when you were a teenager before I confessed to you," he says and I pause. Why is he asking me this now? He should know that my happiest moments have been with him and especially the birth of our two daughters. I would never trade Kuon in for anything.

"You should know that's not true," I tell him and he bows his head, I'm not sure if he believes me or not. "Sweetheart, what do you want to do?"

"I might write a screenplay or a novel," he says and I blink. I wasn't expecting to hear those words but that's much better than what I thought he'd say. "If I do, will you read it."

"I'd feel insulted if you _didn't _share it with me," I joke with him and he looks at me still somewhat exhausted. I see a light flicker on behind him and hear a knock on the door. Father is probably worried about him. We're all worried about him. Only a few days ago everyone apart from Father believed that he was dead. Kuon stands up and I hear him telling Father that he's okay and Kyoko called and I can hear something in his voice that scares me, a deep sadness. I never want for Kuon to feel sad.

He comes back to his phone and smiles trying to use his fake gentleman's smile. "I'm going to be going up to San Francisco tomorrow afternoon. Dad wants for me and him to go first and then you can come with the girls."

"I want to go with you too," I tell him and he shifts nervously. "Listen, I'm your wife. I'm with you in this no matter what." He smiles before nodding. "Does that mean I can come?" I ask him excitedly and he nods.

"It's going to be a long drive," he warns me but what the hell do I care? I'm with Kuon and our girls will be following after us shortly. That's all that matters to me. "I love you, princess." I smile warmly.

"I love you too, Kuon."

KyKuKyKu

I bow my head and grit my teeth as I turn off the alarms. I wasn't thinking. I was just thinking that I wanted to be home but of course I should have put in both security codes, we have two for our estate because of the girls and wanting to protect them but I wasn't thinking. I sigh. I might as well go sit by the 'fairy stream' in the side garden. Sitting there and playing with the girls has always been important to me. Kyoko also made small little homes and buildings for the fairy folk with the girls. She's always been imaginative and creative like that.

I sigh as I go and sit on the bench. I don't know what I'm doing here anymore. I don't know why I couldn't get to sleep after her phone call. I mean, as worried as Dad was about me, he did understand that I said Kyoko needed me to come home and so I was returning and would make sure that nothing happened.

I almost trip over something and reach down to find there to be one of the small balls for the girls to play outdoors with. This one is pink and white so it must be Ana's. Ana loves the pink and white flowers the most. Rose likes roses like her name but she definitely likes sunflowers as well. Kyoko, I don't know many flowers which Kyoko hates. I smile as I sit down with the ball in my lap.

I know so much about the girls. I know what songs Ana likes to listen to and which songs she finds scary. I know that she likes animals and she loves collecting stickers so much that we actually used them as prizes for her when doing things like toilet training or teaching her to walk or talk. I know that Rose loves Disney movies but she also likes ikebana. She told me that she likes cherry blossoms and wants to go to Japan to sit under a cherry tree and eat a picnic. I know that she has always wanted a cat and because we were always so busy we didn't get the family cat she had wanted.

And when it comes to Kyoko. I know Kyoko better than I know myself. I could fill notebooks, disc drives, whole walls with the information I know about my wife. Yet, I don't really know what to do. I'm having difficulty figuring out what my place is in -

"Are you an intruder?" I hear someone say to me and I lift my head and see the shadow of a figure with a heavy skillet. Yes, frying pans can do a lot of damage. "How did you -"

"It's me," I tell her and hear her put the pan down. I smile as she moves towards me, using the phone's flashlight to see me and she softens. She sighs before coming over to me and sitting down next to me. "I don't really know what I'm doing here but I wanted to come," I tell her. She kneels up next to me and puts a hand to my cheek, examining me.

"Are you hurt?" she asks and I shake my head. She kisses me before leaning back. "It's pretty cold out here," she tells me and I sigh. "Come inside?" she stands and gestures for me to follow her back into the house. I nod and come after her, setting the ball down beside the bench. As she turns the light on, I can see that she's been crying. She's wearing a robe over her loose pajama pants and t-shirt. She's lost weight. I hate that I did that to her. "Do you need some tea or cocoa or coffee?" she asks and I look at her.

"I'll take some cocoa," I nod and she seems surprised by that option but nods quickly and gets enough out for us to each have a cup. "Do you have a marshmallow?"

She pauses before tilting her head and teases me, "Are you sure that you're really Kuon?" she asks and I nod. She gestures for me to sit down at the breakfast bar and just gazes at me with a smile, the same type of way I look at her. "This must be really bad," she tells me and I look at her. I'm not sure what to say. There was just something that appeared on my phone after she called me and that I don't want to pay attention to, not really. It's an unknown number, a text message with just a TV station and the time of six this day. I'm not sure why anyone would send this.

"I got this," I show her and she looks at it. She takes my phone and studies it. I'm really glad that Dad told them to keep the number turned on even with my death announcement. I've had calls like this before, job offers but I haven't acted in a long time. I don't even know if my body would know how to act. "I do-don't get it."

"It looks like someone's sending you a warning," she tells me and I look at her. "Well, we'll watch it together," she takes my hand and squeezes it. She kisses me again before hearing the sound of the kettle boiling already. "Thank you for telling me about this. Now, did you want one marshmallow or two?"

"Kyoko, if this -" she looks at me in a way to tell me to be quiet whilst not yelling or demanding it from me. She's always been a bit more mature than I have. She's four years younger than me and she still seems to have so much figured out abut the world.

"Unconditional," she tells me. "That's what we both have for each other, an unconditional love."

KyKuKyKu

My fingertips are twitching against my leg as I look at what is on the screen. Corn, a littler, younger, Corn is bleeding and has just been attacked by someone older than him. I hear them call him names. Talking about him being mixed race, how he is a vermin, how his death would bring his parents attention. I want to turn it off. I want to demand someone to take back control of the network but as I look at Kuon, I see him shaking, his entire body is pale and one hand keeps pushing its way through his hair. When he got the text I doubt that he'd think he was seeing this.

Along the bottom of the screen are the words: A Non-Human around Humans: Kuon Hizuri. The Monster that was Ren Tsuruga.

**End of Chapter Fifty Nine**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Fifty Eight

Kyoko-minion

**AN: **Of course that last part is going to be the first part of next chapter. I've been rereading SB and finally got to the last chapter and read through all the ones that I skipped (I'm sorry but I can't stand Kanae) and I got inspired to write but I'm going onto another book for a few days so maybe I'll be inspired to write something a little different 😉


	60. Chapter 60

**Chapter Sixty**

I look between Kuon and the television screen. Neither of us were expecting this. I hear the screams of agony coming from the seven? Eight? year old Kuon. I hear him bite his lip as he shivers and is shut in the dark by someone who is throwing all kinds of insults his way. I feel a sting each time I hear the word, monster, or mutt, or disgusting. I know that I can't help the eight-year-old Corn but I want to hit something. I turn towards Kuon who I know has turned frozen. Not only has he gone pale but I can sense the icy chill from his body.

I grab to the remote to switch off the system but he reaches out and takes my arm in a grip where it doesn't hurt and I could pull away if I wanted to but he wants to persuade me to listen to and observe this torture. I look at him pleadingly but he doesn't look away from the screen.

The scene changes to a ten-year-old Corn, he looks very similar to when we first met and this time he's able to grimace and show the pain in his expression but he is silent. I can't entertain the thought for even a moment that Kuu knew about this and just let it happen. I think about what Father said to me, that he didn't see what was going on? Did he know about this?

"You're worthless," someone says to him with a cold manner, "You should die. You never learn do you. You should kill yourself. Not even your parents want you and if you tell them how weak you are, they'll want you even less. You will never be anyone. You shouldn't even have been given a name. Kuu One. Didn't have to think very hard on that one. Shame there's no Kuu Two. You're an embarrassment to the family name."

The other boy moves away and Corn sits there for a moment, trying to breathe normally. I can see the tears in his eyes but he moves back and curls into a ball. He's trying to hide his fear. I remember from my time with my fairy prince Corn when I was a child how caring and considerate and sweet he's always been."

The scene fades again and I see Kuon turn even more into a ghost as scenes are shown from him beating people up as a teenager. He's obviously been broken psychologically from all the pain. I look to Kuon who has his arm wrapped around himself and is staring painfully at the screen. I can hear his heartbeat from here. This is the worst I've ever seen him look and I move over to him. He flinches as I touch him. I'm scared to break him. I'm scared that he'll shatter.

I see that he's running to catch the person who had hurt him earlier. I know what kind of skills he has. I know that he could beat a man to death without any weapon. I just saw him easily bring multiple guys to a bloody pile with a sick and sadistic grin on his face. I see a brunette male chase after him and then I see something which makes the present day Kuon stop breathing. Rick's body is hit by a car and he is brought to the ground. I remember the moment that I saw Kuon looking like a ragdoll after he was hit but this is death. This is Rick's death, isn't it? The most painful memory. The one that caused Kuon to hate himself and to need to create Ren Tsuruga.

I see the screen turn black but Kuon isn't moving. He starts to breathe but it's a panicked type of breathing. A video channel name flashes but he isn't making the connection. It's as if he's not even here any longer.

"Kuon," I whisper as I run and kneel in front of him. I take his hands and squeeze them. "Kuon, Corn, Corn can you hear me?"

He looks at me and nods. He looks so helpless as if he's a small child. At least he's reacting to me but I fear that he will vanish at any moment. I squeeze his hands again and this time he squeezes back but bows his head. "D-D-do you…ha-hate me?" he asks and I can barely hear his voice. I smile to him but stand up and wrap my arms around him.

"I could never ever hate you," I kiss his cheek before nuzzling his neck and upper chest. "Tell me again why you keep fighting. Tell me specifically the three things which motivate you to keep fighting."

"R-Ro-se…A-Ana and..y-you," he tells me before he stands up and I watch as he throws up in a fake plant. I go to him. Of course he has a bad stomach after rewatching his nightmarish events. I rush to him and rub his back. It's not work or a career which has motivated him this last decade. It's me. It's our family. Kuon loves being a part of our family and he's an extremely important part. He's the daddy. Despite the pain he's endured, he always clings to that desire to be seen as the daddy and give Rose and Ana the upbringing that although his parents wanted him to have, didn't actually happen that way.

"Remember that, keep repeating that," I try to comfort him, "because all of us love you and want you with us. You saved me. You kept me alive. Without you I would have died." I tell him and he looks at me before nodding, starting to look a little more stable. "You went through so much pain and agony because you risked your own life to save me but you did it because you love me. That's the way all of us, including your parents, love you. You are loved."

"I did-n't wan-tt him to…d-die" Kuon replies and I nod. I know that but Kuon should know that although he obviously still feels responsible about what happened, he saved me from being killed in a road accident. Nothing can make up for losing his friend.

I wrap my arms around him as I remember all the insults I've ever heard him make about himself. He has trouble seeing the light at the end of the tunnel but he still tries. He has trouble giving himself the credit that he deserves but he's still here, doing his best for the ones he loves. I hold him to me. I don't feel any judgement or negative emotions for these moments of weakness, on the other hand, I'm glad that he's sharing them with me. "You are so loved," I tell him wanting for him to internalize that.

KyKuKyKu

I look at the computer, these people are heartless. Kuon always does whatever he can to help a cast or even crew member on the set. He's donated to charities, volunteers, helps out with his fans, has taken hours out of his day to come to events he was invited to, made personal sacrifices to help others. Kuon has done whatever he can to be a good person and he doesn't do it to please the press or to get fame and applause. He does it because he's a very good and worthy person. He's the type of guy who is very charismatic without even trying.

Now there're an entire four video channels on this very popular site showing images and videos of how he was hurt in life, how he hurt others because he had been pushed so far, the most painful parts for me are the videos of him being tortured the past month. It's obvious he can't talk but when he can, he's not really conscious and is just saying five words, 'Love' 'Kyoko' 'Rose' 'Ana' and the most painful one, 'sorry'.

He has nothing to apologize for. I look back at the bed and smile as I see the three of them are asleep. Kuon and I will be leaving in a few hours but I can turn my head back to see him there with our daughters. Rose is curled in tightly to his side all nice and snug, Kuon has one arm around her, keeping her close. Ana has moved so that she's sleeping with her head on Kuon's chest and Kuon has his hand on her back protectively. They are all getting some well-deserved rest.

I move over to them and lift the blanket up, tucking it around them and then get another blanket for Ana. I grab my phone and take a photograph of them before videoing them. I want to enjoy these moments. These are the moments that make me happiest. Kuon and our girls all together.

I find it sad when I go online and learn that a lot of fathers don't want to play with dolls or have tea parties or really encourage their daughters to find their own passions. Yes, I think the majority of fathers want to have a precious and lasting bond with their young daughters but a lot of people don't invest the time that Kuon does. I'm not saying that he's rare but I…I can see it.

There was a time in Rose's life where she became fascinated with butterflies. I think I might have been a cause for that. I was telling her how the fairies like butterflies and the butterflies are attracted to flowers. During that time, Kuon was busy. He had signed with another fashion line and they had given him a schedule of runway shows and print ads that they wanted him to do as well as some interviews. He was already on the second season of a TV show and he had a movie that they were doing preliminary table reads for. At that time he was working between ten and fourteen hours a day but when he wasn't busy with work, he was helping with the kids and helping with the housework and sometimes with meals if I wanted to make something a little more complicated. When I was away from the family, I would always give him step by step instructions on how to cook for himself and the girls.

When he wasn't working though, he was looking up information on butterflies. He managed to take Rose to a museum where he could share with her the things that he learned about them. He even managed to find some plants that attracted butterflies and bought her an umbrella that had butterflies on it. How could a man who spent so much time doing things for his daughter be as terrible as they want to make him believe that he is.

One of the most defining things about Ren, other than his kind and considerate nature, was that he was a hard worker. Kuon might not be as much of a diligent working stiff as Ren was but he's _still_ Ren as much as he wants to say that Tsuruga-san was just a character. I understand that before I met him or at least in the beginning of the time I knew him, he was a lot different. He would concentrate on his work. He would keep distance from others. He wouldn't act rash or impulsively. When he found out that I was his childhood friend though, he opened up and that was the blend between the two of them. Still both of them care about work but Kuon has a reason to prioritize things above that work. These videos don't represent him and hopefully people won't listen to them.

I take a deep breath and look towards my family, my precious family who I never realized I would treasure so much, especially not when I was sitting in front of Sawara-san as a Love Me-hopeful. I make sure that the camera is focused on me and a blank background and press the record button. I look into the screen. I look decent, not my best but decent.

"Hello. I'm Kyoko Hizuri and I'm going to talk in reaction to some videos that were posted online which I hope are removed for violating this website's terms and conditions as well as an attack on my husband. I want to take a moment to tell you why my husband is an amazing person who is undeserving of the torture continuously shown in these videos,"

I take a deep breath and look towards Kuon who is still asleep. I know you're not supposed to add oil to the fire but I'm sick of him being mistreated and most of all hurt. I'm going to fight for him. Even if it does damage to the opinion that people have of _me_, I'm not just going to sit still and stay quiet.

**End of Chapter Sixty**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Fifty Nine

Kyoko-minion

**AN: **Today was a really hard day for me. I have bipolar disorder/borderline personality disorder and so it was a relief for me to update this and I just hope you guys like reading it as much as I found peace and comfort writing it.


	61. Chapter 61

**Chapter Sixty One**

I take a deep breath in as I've now moved over to my own office and am facing the camera. I wish that I could have been in the room with Kuon and the girls longer but if someone is launching an attack on the man that I love, the man that I married and committed to, the man whose life I try to make better every day, they need to learn that I'm not a force that's going to let them rob him of his happiness.

I bow my head and try to take another few deep breaths before I press the record button.

"Hi," I tell the camera. "This is Kyoko and I wanted to fully react to these disgusting videos that are being posted. First of all, please rest assured that nobody in the Hizuri family or any of our friends have a hand in either accessing the footage or providing hate to my husband. For everyone out there, we deeply appreciate you. For all of the fans as well, for anyone we've met, for anyone who is wanting to reject the torture that those posting these videos want to create, we thank you for that as well."

I close my eyes and laugh weakly, "I'm not going to lie to you and tell you that my husband is always seen as perfect. There are actually people who dislike him whether it's out of jealousy, rivalry, or just because you dislike him. Kuon can be a bit stubborn at times and he isn't afraid to state his opinion. He'll listen to what the rest of the room is saying but he says what he means despite how it might be blunt. He also has a distorted self-image which is why these videos are so damaging. Kuon blames himself for things which aren't his fault. He has gone a long time telling himself that he wasn't worthy of support, or love, or even friendship. I met him first when we were children and I was amazed and impressed by him, he was considerate, caring, and easy to relate to. When I met him as an adult, when he was living the life of Ren Tsuruga, I really didn't like him because I misunderstood him."

I slowly breathe again. I've just told the world that I didn't like Ren Tsuruga but I hope they know that I love him unconditionally now that I know who he is.

"During the time when I met the man who would become my husband the second time, he was cold and distant and he didn't open up. He cared about his work and how to advance as an actor. Yes, he was still caring and considerate but he was afraid to get emotionally involved with anyone else. Because of his desire and his fight to exist as an actor and work beyond the name Hizuri, when he learned that I was trying to use being a celebrity for my own self-satisfaction. It hurt him. Over time he opened up, he showed me love, patience, understanding, he learned what words to say to motivate me and comfort me. I misunderstood. I thought that he was just testing me but he took the time to understand me and understand how I learn and connect with the world. Because he does that with everyone, he tries to understand and help everyone indiscriminately, I mistook him for a playboy and failed to see what was there in front of me."

I breathe deeply, "that's the thing about Kuon though. What you see might seem as if he's doing it for an act. It might seem that he's using tact and manipulation but he's not. Yes, he does consider how people will understand him but he never does it maliciously. He never goes up to someone wanting to get something out of them. That's because of the love he gives others, a love he's often claimed that he doesn't deserve for himself."

"I regret not seeing who he was when I met him for the second time but I think I was lucky. I got to learn about him all over again. I got to learn about his creativity and the imagination he has which he shares freely with our daughters. I got to learn about how he's compassionate, empathetic, patient, understanding and not just with me but with anyone who approaches him. He's really a terrific person who doubts that about him every day so I ask you not to doubt him. Please don't let these videos change how you think about him. Please don't judge him without giving him consideration."

"I know that for the past year, we've really been limiting the contact we've had with others but because of his injuries, we didn't want for him to feel pressure and certainly not pain. Hopefully we'll be able to come out into the world again and I really, truly, plead with you to give him your understanding and your support. Kuon might not be one to stand up for himself and fight against those who have bullied him but I will continuously do so because I am lucky enough to be loved unconditionally by Kuon Hizuri."

"Thank you."

**End of Chapter Sixty One**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Sixty

Kaname671


	62. Chapter 62

**AN: **I decided to do a different point of view for this chapter. Hope you enjoy it.

**Chapter Sixty Two**

It's been a few days that we've been in San Francisco and the girls arrive today. Boss picked out a great place for us and I was surprised to see a swimming pool outside. I've always wanted to have a swimming pool but somehow we chose a house without it. Well, in our Los Angeles home there were more trees and a pond and a stream but I like the feeling of being here. It's hard to find real estate like this this close to the city.

I know that Kyoko has commented on it, not so much on herself swimming although I am interested in seeing that and as her husband I feel no problem in admiring her, but she keeps commenting on how she wants to see me swim. I just hope that I can live up to her desires. I've been to both my new therapist and new psychiatrist. My psychiatrist is male, therapist is an older woman but both appear to be professional so far.

In fact, because they want to keep me grounded and motivated, my therapist, Diana, has already set me a task to do at home to help me with my emotions. She wants me to find a corner of the house and fill it with motivational items. Right now I just have one. A photograph of Kyoko with her arms around both Ana and Rose. I smile as I look at the grins that each of them has. I just want to do all that is within my power to keep them happy.

"I really like that picture," Kyoko says as she comes close to me and hugs me from behind. I grab her hand and squeeze it as I look at the picture. "Can I put something next to it though?" she asks and I pause. I'm not sure what my therapist would say but I don't want to deny Kyoko. Even though this is supposed to be my space, maybe what she has to give me would find a home here.

I nod and she takes out a photograph of the four of us. I look at it and look back at the picture of the three of them. This was taken before the accident and we need a new photograph and I feel conflicted by it. I am holding close to Ana whilst Kyoko is with an excited Rose to my side. I look happy.

"You think this one is better?" I ask. Well, it was done professionally, I took the other one.

"I like it better," Kyoko tells me. "You're a great daddy, Corn," she says and I put the picture up on the wall, hanging it on a hook there. "See, that looks amazing," she grins.

"You think that I'm a good father?" I ask her nervously and she nods. I feel a little guilty about this past year. I've had to take care of myself, spend a lot of time on myself when I could have given some of that time to the girls. I sigh. I really wish that I hadn't been pulled away from them. I reach into a bag and take out the Pluto toy that the girls got for me on New Years as well as a Mickey they chose for my birthday. I put these down on a chair in the corner.

"I _know_ you're an amazing father," Kyoko tells me. I smile as I take out two more photographs. One is a candid from our wedding where I'm treating Kyoko as the princess she is, the other is a picture of me as a young boy a few years before meeting Kyoko and Mom is grinning as she crouches at my level with her arms wrapped around me whilst Dad has a hand on my back and I don't remember many times when I've seen him look happier and prouder even when it comes to his own work.

"That is one of my absolutely favorite pictures," I hear his voice in the doorway and turn to him with a weak smile. "I remember everything about that day, a day I got to spend with my wife and son. I'm glad that I bring happiness to your life."

I look at him and give a weak smile, "I hope that I continue to make you proud. I know that this past year I've -"

Dad walks over to me and puts a supportive hand on my shoulder, he looks up at me. "Always. Remember, you are always and always going to be my precious and irreplaceable son. I'm going to get dinner started for us." Dad drops silent and I see the concern in his expression. I agreed to appear on a morning talk show tomorrow morning and he's worried that it'll be overwhelming for me. I know he's felt guilty since the videos of me being tortured as a child emerged but it's not his fault that I never told him what I had been through.

"I'll be okay," I attempt to reassure him.

Dad shifts nervously and I see the guilt on his face that has appearing each time he thinks about those videos. "Kuon, if I had known what had been happe-"

"I'm fine," I try to tell him. "I have a few acting awards. I've got a good resume. I run the risk of maybe having a seizure now and again but I've recovered unbelievably well from where I was last year. I have a wife and two daughters I love. That doesn't matter." I look down, the therapist I'm seeing told me to focus on my successes. "The only thing that I would hate is if you disowned me."

Dad shakes his head and I can tell how much he loves me by his expression, "Of course I would never do that."

KyKuKyKu

I'm not sure that an early morning talk show is actually a good idea. I can tell how stiff Kuon is but I'm hopeful about it. I'm ready to step in if needed but I really hope that I'm not needed. Daddy stepping in isn't a good image. I nervously sit down in the back as I watch him on the set.

"So, first of all, how are you feeling? We've all heard about the bus accident, the attempted murder, we've now seen the uploaded videos, so how are you feeling?" the talk show host asks him and Kuon bows his head before raising it.

"It's still an adjustment for me but my family is helping me. I don't know it I would be as motivated if it wasn't for my wife and my dad, my dad saved my life. Both of them are supporting me in my return and adjustment to normal life," Kuon says and I'm glad that he mentioned Kyoko first. I'm haunted by those videos I saw. I'm haunted by the fact that I never helped him even when he was begging for it. I wasn't watching him closely enough. I was self-involved and it led to a lot of pain.

"So, that's one question for you. How do you still have such a strong relationship with your family after what you've suffered. Surely, your parents must have seen the bruises on your body."

Kuon shifts, "my family didn't know about any of what I'd suffered. I think that my father had noticed that I was a little more quiet and reserved and he hoped that by taking me on a trip abroad it would help me."

"They must have noticed the bruises at least," the host says and I had the exact same thought. I should have realized, I should have protected him. It was my place to protect him and I didn't. It wasn't because I didn't care about him but I should have known. I should have done everything in my power to help him.

"I learned to apply makeup at a very early age. Stage makeup can hide anything even the worst of injuries, my parents didn't know that I did this. Maybe I had some moments of loneliness as a child but I don't blame my parents for that, they are both very important parts of my life. My dad has always been my hero and he still is. He's the mark of a good person and a good man."

I want to go out there and tell him to stop. I didn't protect him. I didn't even rush out to save him when he tried to save Rose and I've noticed that he has a stiffness in his left side from that. I didn't protect him. I can only hope he knows how much I love him.

"Has your father been supportive of your recovery?" the host asks and I just hope so. I hope that I was able to help. The truth is that I adore Kuon at the same level I love Julie but I wonder if he believes that. The time that he was away from me, when Julie wouldn't speak to me, it got me depressed when I thought about that little boy I had held in my lap and who I had failed. The videos reminded me of how badly I let him get hurt. I just hope he actually does forgive me for the crappy job I did being his parent.

"Both my parents have been," Kuon tells her. "I am fortunate enough to have a wife who prioritizes my health highly but both my parents have helped me through it," I see Kuon wince and put a hand to his forehead and my back straightens. I want to run out to him and ask him if he's okay.

"So, it looks like we don't have too much time left so let me just ask you this," the host says and Kuon smiles. I can see by his expression that something has happened to him. I don't know what or where. I'm glad that the host is seeing this too. "Are you planning on getting back to acting in the future?"

Kuon smiles trying to be calm, "Yes, I hope in the future that I'll be able to return to acting." The host wraps up the segment and Kuon immediately gets up, goes to the backstage and drops down onto his knees, a hand on his forehead. I rush over to him and see many crew members trying to help. I push through and place a hand on his back.

"Kuon, are you okay?" I ask and he moves towards me, he nods slowly and I wrap an arm over his back. I don't want him to feel crowded and insecure. I see the host and shake my head, rubbing his back. "I think we need some space," I tell them. "Could I get some ice water brought to his dressing room."

I can see in Kuon's expression something has gone wrong. He looks horrified and in shock. I rub his back again. "We just need some space," I tell them before leaning forward. "Can you stand?"

Kuon nods very slowly and I try to make sure he doesn't get up too fast. "Dad," he says as he turns towards me, he looks haunted and I just want him to tell me what he needs. "Don't leave…okay?" he asks and I watch him. I don't know if I heard him correctly. Unless he needs medical attention there is absolutely no chance of me leaving his side.

"I'm here," I tell him and help him to his feet. I walk with him over to the dressing room, trying to push the other crew members away so that they don't overwhelm him. As I get into the dressing room and take the jug of ice water and the cups, I shut the door and turn to Kuon.

"What's going on?" I ask him and he pinches the bridge of his nose. I'm worried about him but we've managed to take care of the situation or at least isolate it.

"I ju-ju-just feel really tir-red," he tells me and I nod. I pour him some water and he looks to me with a weak smile. "Did I d-do okay? Did I ma-makke you…proud?"

"You always make me proud," I tell him and then nod, "And you were amazing out there. I hope this is the start of you getting what you deserve again and your life getting back on track." He smiles to me and then exhales.

"Thanks, Dad."

**End of Chapter Sixty Two**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Sixty One

Kaname671


	63. Chapter 63

**Chapter Sixty Three**

"_My acting skills are amazing," I hear Dad say on the phone and I pause, stopping outside his room in this huge house. I feel a little guilty about waiting there. "He actually believed that I love him. That boy is disturbed. I didn't ask for a son like that. The son of the Hizuri family has to be skilled and talented, they have to actually make a good impression. He's weak and twisted in the head. I don't love him. I'm just glad that he didn't put me to shame."_

_I stop. I can't believe he's saying this. I feel my world spinning around me and see a hole in the floor, it's about to suck me in. The walls start to get stripped from the house and they get sucked into this black hole. I see Dad approach me. "Now what have you done," he asks me in a demanding manner. I then see a look upon his face that he's never shown me before. I sense no love in his eyes. His face almost looks cruel but it definitely looks cold. "You failed me. I wanted you dead," he says before kicking me towards and into the hole and all I can feel is cold and black and…_

KyKuKyKu

I blink to find that I'm on the floor of the entertainment room. There are past scripts strewn around the floor, some of them with pages creased or even ripped out. There's a hole in the wall, the music player is turned over, there's a crack in the TV screen. I don't know what happened here but someone is holding me. Kyoko? Kyoko's holding me? I look up and see Kyoko running back with bandages and a bowl of water with a cloth.

She isn't here? Someone is holding me from behind. I hear Dad's voice.

"Are you okay?" he asks me and I look at him, scrambling away from him. It was all a bad dream. I look around the room. Did I do this? This destruction? I shake and look at my hands, for a moment I see the claws but they return back to my hands. I feel myself hyperventilating and then feel a pair of firm hands on my shoulders. "Kuon," Dad says in a concerned but sympathetic manner. "Are you okay?"

"I did this?" I look around. Why? What triggered all of this?

"Sweetheart," Kyoko says as she cleans my arm and my hand which have blood on them. "It's okay. You've been through a lot. We'll replace the TV, pay for the damages to fix the room, we can put the scripts back together. It's okay."

"The most important part," Dad adds and I can see how concerned he is, "Is that _you_ are okay." I nod feeling extremely shaky. I don't remember causing any of this destruction. I wasn't conscious through any of it. I was having a bad dream involving Dad but I don't remember any of this.

"Father was the first one down," Kyoko tells me as she wraps up my arm. "I'm glad that he was able to help you." I turn to Dad and see the red marks on his arms and realize that I must have hit him before he probably grabbed me and tackled me to the ground. Dad got hurt because of me.

"I hit you?" I ask him looking at him in horror, "I hit you and you're st-still…try-try-trying to help…m-me?"

"I'm a tough guy," Dad tells me with a comforting smile. "It wasn't until I tried to touch you anyway that you started to be physical towards anyone. If I hadn't involved myself then it wouldn't have happened but I thought if I held you down it might be for the best."

I shiver, "Hold me down?" I ask him. Maybe I do belong in a straight jacket if it actually takes physical force to snap me out of this. I'm more skilled than Dad at martial arts and I'm younger than him. My body is untrained recently but I doubt that Dad's been fitting in training sessions. I feel a weakness in my back but not my neck or head. He must have skillfully knocked me down whilst still trying to protect my more vulnerable areas.

"I'm sure that with more therapy you'll be able to control it yourself," Dad says quickly reading my thoughts perfectly. He probably knows that I belong in a straight jacket so I can't do harm to anyone. "You appeared to be dreaming, you were muttering something about failure, letting someone down. Do you want to tell us about that?"

"You," I tell him as I turn to him and Dad looks shocked. "The dr-dream ver…sion of yo-you."

"I don't want you to think that the dream version of myself or any alternate universe form of Kuu Hizuri feels that you failed him. I definitely don't -"

"You ha-hated me…loo-ked at..me in dis-dis-ggust" I say, hating that I'm stumbling over my words again. When I panic, it gets hard for me to speak.

"I would never ever hate you and I most definitely find nothing disgusting about you. You are my treasured son, please remember that." Kyoko puts a hand on my shoulder.

"Father would never hate you. He loves you. That's one thing that I have always known about him, he has unwavering and unconditional love for you. I would never hate you as well. You lost yourself today, broke some things, created a mess but that's okay, we get through life one step at a time and one day at a time."

I nod and see Dad looking horrified at the thought still. I hate that I caused him to get upset but in a way I'm happy, it means that Dad really loves me and I have to trust him more.

KyKuKyKu

SMASH! THUD!

I wake up in a cold sweat. What the hell just happened? I look to the side and Kuon's not there. I feel my breath catch in my chest, my heart racing and I don't know what's going on but the sounds are so loud. Something has gone wrong. I get to the door and see Father flash down the stairs from his and Julie-san's room. I've never seen him look so afraid and panicked.

"Kuon," he calls out and I race after him. He's much faster than me. I hear another thud and rush into the room to see Kuon in some kind of trance. There's blood on his arm and his fist and a hole in the wall. The promised security guard hasn't arrived yet but I feel more comfortable with us handling this ourselves. Kuon is muttering something under his breath whilst throwing things off the bookshelf.

"Kuon!" Father shouts as he stands in front of him. "You need to wake up." Kuon staggers to another wall and I see Father grab his arm, pulling him back. I don't know what to do. I don't want to get in Father's way but Kuon needs help. "Look at me!" he says firmly but Kuon thrashes out of his hold and I see him hit Father as if he's not fully aware of what his body is doing. Father grabs his wrists again. "Kuon, listen. This isn't you. I'm not going to…" as Kuon struggles, Father reaches out and pinches and twists some part of the back of his shoulder or his neck. "I'm really sorry," he says as Kuon falls backwards and Father makes sure to use his arm and his hand to catch Kuon's head and neck before it strikes the ground.

Father has his hand on Kuon's chest, pinning him down and he turns to me briefly.

"Can you get something to help his injury," he tells me and I see the fear on his face .I know that for Father it's not the fear of Kuon but it's the fear that he hasn't been able to help Kuon. Still Father did everything right and I appreciate that he was mindful of Kuon's head.

"Do you need anything for your injuries?" I ask him and Father shakes his head.

"Few bruises, it's fine. I just think that we should bandage his hand…again," Father then turns to Kuon and puts a hand on his forehead, after checking his temperature, he pushes his hair back. "It's okay," he tells Kuon. "It's going to be okay. We've got you." I pause for another moment hearing something that warms my heart immensely, "Daddy's here with you."

As I'm about to get the bandages, I see Kuon enter a seizure and I want to run and help but Father watches over him, doing exactly the things that I would do. Father really does know how to take care of him. After a time that seems longer than it is, Kuon gets up and Father shifts so that he can place his hand on his back to steady him. I see the uncertainty that he has in his eyes, that unease at really how to help Kuon but he's doing his best. Father always does his best when it comes to Kuon. Nobody truly knows how to help him but if I were ever gone, I know that Father would protect him no matter what.

KyKuKyKu

"_Are you coming to the me-me-memorial?" I ask Father as he stands with his back to me. I know that there has been fighting between him and everyone and as much hope as he has, I hate to admit that he sounds crazy. Father has been the one person who has denied fully that Kuon is dead but I know he's in shock. I've been with Kuon whilst he struggled to heal. I ran to him and had his blood on my hands. I knew the chances of him coming out alive but Father is denying everything._

"_I'll be there," he tells me firmly and I blink in surprise. "It's a waste of our time because Kuon is alive but yes, as his father, I'll be there. I don't want to miss it if it is the last chance I get to talk about him but he is alive."_

_I look down, I feel like screaming at him and attacking him. Kuon is dead. It breaks my heart, shatters it into hundreds of tiny fragments to admit it but he's dead. I look to Father and my eyes widen as he picks a gun up and turns it in his hands._

"_Will you stop saying that!?" I yell at him before looking at the very expensive shotgun. I know that Father has a collection of movie props. He's not the kind of guy to go around threatening people with guns or shooting random people but he still has a collection and it seems his collection is travelling with him. "Kuon is dead."_

"_Did you see his body!?" Father yells before trying to calm himself. I see the anger and the pain flash over his face. He's been pushing everyone away but it doesn't seem to matter to him. I'm pretty sure that if the memorial wasn't tomorrow, he would have left to go and search for information on Kuon's location. Doesn't he see how much his actions are hurting everyone he cares about? "No. Because his body was conveniently stolen. That means he's alive."_

"_If he was alive," I take a deep breath in not wanting to think that he's somewhere else and that I'm not with him and there to take care of him. "Wouldn't there be more evidence?"_

"_Unless they cleaned it all up and then maybe a gun or two would be needed in order to rescue him." _

_I see the way Father stares at the weapon he's holding and I see all the similarities between him and Kuon but he cant' be serious about this. Shooting people? Father's lost it and I don't think any of us know how to bring him back. _

**End of Chapter Sixty Three**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

**(For those who read my other work. I'm actually going to be using the amount of reviews on latest chapters as a mark of what to update next. I actually look at stats of my fics so will create new lists I hope to update on every Sunday. Thank you ****)**

**(Also, like this fic, I'll be updating some of my favorite ones too regardless of reviews but they do still make me happy/feel connected)**

Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Sixty Two

Kaname671


	64. Chapter 64

**Chapter Sixty Four**

I'm a little nervous. The girls have become used to this new house and Rose loves the idea of playing in the pool and relaxing on the deck chair – I'm glad that there's a kiddy pool that Ana can use – but there's a lot that I haven't provided for them. I feel like I don't perform well as a father. Now, Boss is going to see that. I don't even know how to interact with him any longer. He came to see me during the time when I was recovering from my head injury but I wasn't the most pleasant at that time. I hope that he isn't upset with me.

"You know he loves you, right?" Kyoko asks as she approaches me and then sits down in a chair beside me. I look at her with a shake of my head. "He looks at you like a son as much as Father does for me. He understands that what you're going through is hard for you."

"Boss…" I look at my hands, sometimes I can still see the claws and I'm afraid that he'll put me in a cage. "I know how supportive he's been but I'm scared that I let him down. I'm scared that he's disappointed in me."

"And I'm telling you," Kyoko smiles to me, "Lory Takarada will always want to help you, he wants to help all of us, that's one of his missions in life but when it comes to you, he cares a great deal about you," she says and I offer her another weak smile. As I look at her, I hear the doorbell ring and my back straightens. I don't want to make him upset and to think that I'm not worth all of the faith he's given me.

I stand and wait nervously before seeing Dad coming in with Boss. Kyoko moves forward with a huge smile and a formal bow and I stand there not sure what to do. I drop down into a bow, following Kyoko's lead and after saying a brief hello to Kyoko, Boss laughs and walks towards me, putting his hand on my shoulder and squeezing it gently.

"I am," he says in a slow voice and I feel like there are tears in his eyes, I try not to comment on them and look down guiltily. "I am so glad that you're alive. I thought that I would never get to argue against your stubbornness again."

"Thank you," I tell him feeling a little tense still but seeing his smile lets me know that maybe I shouldn't be so withdrawn and defensive. I smile before bowing my head, "Boss, about la-last time," I stutter a little and he shakes his head.

"Don't worry about it," he tells me and I look at him nervously, "You've really been through a lot and I just wish that I could have helped you more but you've had Kyoko, you've had your mother and father. I know that Shuuhei is proud of you and would never stop supporting you." I feel a little guilty about the nightmares which I've been having. "So, how are you doing on the anger issues?"

I feel my stomach sink and look down guiltily, "I trashed a room in the middle of the night," I tell him referring to a couple of nights back. "Kyoko and Dad helped me fix it up but there might still be some damages. Dad was able to get me under control before anything really bad happened but I lost it. Dad knows that I lost it too."

"And with good reason," I hear Dad say as he stands behind Boss. "You've been through hell and back physically, emotionally, mentally, I doubt anyone could be considered 'stable' after all the things which you've endured. I'm proud of you for fighting through it."

I look at him and look down, I feel my stomach drop a little.

Boss looks at me, he waits a moment as if deciding whether or not to say something before he hums. I look at him and feel myself grow a little more self-conscious around him. "So, I was going to ask you some questions about how you are but I feel that Shuuhei and Kyoko have been taking good care of you. Instead, how about we talk about your acting career, you are still interested in that, right?"

I sigh and keep my head bowed, "Do I even deserve to become an actor anymore?"

"Yes," Boss tells me with hesitation, "You deserve your dreams a lot more than a lot of other people in this world and I still want to do all I can to help you with them." I nod. I feel so grateful to him. I can never explain just how grateful I am for all the support in life which I've been given.

KyKuKyKu

_I feel a dark energy looming around me and I hate that I did this. I just had to attend my husband's memorial service where I saw Father acting disconnected with the world. I know that the eulogy he gave, although still showing his love for Kuon, was far shorter than if we had Kuon's body. I still feel that Father has lost it. He's been digging up things, talking about Rick and Tina, he seems to have convinced himself so much that we can't even pull him back to reality. _

_I see the president approach him and this is because I asked him to do so. I just hope that Father can listen to him._

"_Shuuhei," the president says in a direct manner, "You're going to drive yourself beyond exhaustion. You have to think of what we have for factual ev-"_

"_That's what I'm looking at," Father tells him and I see the president place what is supposed to be a comforting hand on Father's back but Father flinches and backs away as if the touch burns his skin. "You might think that Kuon is gone, you might even want to convince me of that fact but the truth is that if Kuon really were dead then his body would be with us right now. I don't believe someone stole his corpse for necrophilia and I don't think that the hospital lost it. He's got enemies and one of those enemies has him…alive."_

_I cover my mouth and start to cry. Can't Father see how hurtful this behavior is? I want Kuon back so badly but I've managed to come to acceptance with the fact that he's gone. I don't need a body to prove it, I can feel that loss inside my heart._

"_Shuuhei," the president says again, "You have to know that all of your actions are actually bringing pain to the people around you. We all loved Kuon deeply but -"_

"_You say that my actions are bringing pain to the people around me?" Father asks and the president nods slowly. I hear a silence before Father's voice sounds cold and I feel a disconnect between myself and the kind and loving Father that I've always known. "If that's the case, I'd advise for you all to stay the hell out of my way." _

KyKuKyKu

"So, you think that the chicken is okay?" Kuon asks me as we stand in the kitchen together, I take a look at it and cut a little bit off for myself. I taste it and grin. It's nicely seasoned, well-cooked, it's flaky without being dry.

"You did a good job," I tell him before getting the vegetables onto the plate.

Since the president was coming to visit today, I wanted to do something special and thought that chicken with potatoes and vegetables would be a good idea. Kuon asked to help me and it just reminded me so much of when we had just started living together, even when we had just started dating and I would cook for him at his apartment. When we first started, I would give him instructions on cutting and peeling the vegetables, but now he's able to cook full meals despite not showing the confidence to do so.

"Thanks, so cut it up and put it in the serving dish?" he gestures and I nod. I take a peek into the living room where Father and Julie-san are sitting with the president and the girls watching Cinderella. I blush with a playful smile on my face as I see the president with his arms around Rose watching a Disney princess movie. I come back to Kuon and let my hand rest over his.

"I'm so happy right now," I grin to him and he laughs and nods.

"Me too." I smile as I hear that and close my eyes. Those were words which I needed to hear. I am always happy with my husband and daughters around me but Kuon has a difficult time with it. For a long time, he didn't like to be happy when he knew that he had robbed others of happiness. Following that, he wasn't sure what he was going to lose so was afraid to be happy because he knew that if he lost that happiness, the sadness would be too much. Now though, I'm glad that he's starting to feel better.

I grin to him again and open my mouth to say something but I see something move in the corner of my eyes and stop when I see the president standing there. I drop down into a bow again, it's hard not to when it comes to him. I spent a lot of time in Tokyo being an actress and this man was the head of the agency, he also told me that he'll help me with my fashion career when we return to Japan later this year.

"Kyoko, may I speak to you alone?" he gestures to me and I turn to look at Kuon. I want to protest but I know that Kuon would push me to speak with him no matter what. I nod and follow him to the hallway. I see Kuon cutting the chicken, it's fine to leave him right now, isn't it? I wipe my hands off on my apron and look up at him.

"How is he?" the president asks and I smile weakly.

"Getting better, some days are worse than others but he's getting better." I sigh and bow my head, closing my eyes since it's so har to admit this. "I think that he'll be able to return to acting by the end of the year as long as nothing else happens but he…I don't know if he'll ever be the same."

The president hums and raises an eyebrow, "And he's not hurting you or the girls."

I take a step back and frown as I look at the president, "What are you talking about?" I ask. "Of course he's not hurting us. Do you really think that Kuon would _ever_ hurt us? That's really a horrible thing to accuse him of but…he's different, he's still Kuon but I don't think anyone can just overcome the pain that he's been given."

The president nods again and smiles, "I'm very glad to hear that. You're right, Kuon would have to be completely different to hurt other people so I'm happy to hear that. I just hope that he gets the help he needs, you'll keep me updated on his condition, won't you?"

I want to ask why he's not saying that to Kuon himself but I know that Kuon doesn't really tell anyone how he's truly feeling if he feels that it'll hurt them. I'm just really glad that I can look at him and communicate with him without words.

I nod, "I will."

**End of Chapter Sixty Four**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Sixty Three

Kaname671, kyoko-minion

AN: I'm going to have to definitely focus on Kuon's health in future chapters so that I can give a full explanation of his injuries but thank you for your interest in this fic, it means a lot to me


	65. Chapter 65

**Chapter Sixty Five**

I know who I want to talk to but I can't just knock on the bedroom door and ask him to talk. I don't want to wait for him to get the wrong idea and part of me wants to leave this house and run away but that's not good. It's not the best idea for me or for my family. I sit down and sigh, closing my eyes. When I heard that he never gave up on me, I felt a special bond with him. Well, he's my hero, I always have a special bond with him.

I take a deep breath in and very gently knock on the door before taking a few steps back. What the hell did I do that for? I try to take some deep breaths. Maybe he didn't hear me. I should hope that he didn't hear me. I'm an idiot. He needs his rest and I'm….

I sit down on the floor, pressing my knees to my body and my head on my knees. I'm an idiot. I shouldn't have knocked on the door. I shouldn't inconvenience him this much. I'm not a little boy anymore. I might be his son but I'm his son who can wait until he wakes up in the morning to speak with him. As I close my eyes, I feel a gentle hand on my back.

"Darling, is something wrong?" Mom asks and I look at her and flinch.

"I'm sorry," I apologize and Mom looks confused. "I didn't mean to disturb you, my body moved without my thinking about it." I shiver but Mom wraps her arms around me.

"Did you need to talk about something? Do you need someone to drive you to the hospital?" She pushes my hair back lovingly and I see that as she looks in my eyes, she gets even more concerned. I guess that I'm showing my broken nature in my eyes instead of keeping it inside.

"I'm sorry," I apologize again and hear a sound at the door. I look up and see that Dad is concerned about me. He looks exhausted but he's there wondering how he can help me. I'm not a kid anymore. This isn't the same as if Ana or Rose came to my door. I shouldn't be heaping my problems onto Dad. "I know that you and Mom are tired and I'm selfish, I came here because of selfish reasons. I'm really sorry."

"Come on," Dad whispers as he sits down beside me on the other side to Mom. "Even as a kid you never asked us for much, and you've been through things that nobody should experience. What is it? What's troubling you?"

"I have a favor to ask," I whisper and they look at me.

"Anything, darling," Mom says as she takes my hand and gently squeezes it hoping to show her support.

"Sorry," I whisper to her, "It's actually….Dad…I wanted to ask…" I see Mom lean forwards and Dad looks at me and nods.

"Okay," he tells me as he leans forward to try to make eye contact with me. I feel like a little boy, sitting between two very concerned parents instead of a thirty-year-old with two people in their mid to late fifties. "What did you need to ask me?"

"Is it okay to talk with you?" I ask and Dad nods and gets up. He adjusts the robe he's wearing and gestures for us to step away. I feel guilty for this. I understand that Dad is tired but he's doing this without hesitation. He's prioritizing me over himself. I take a deep breath in and close my eyes before pushing myself out.

"Thank you," I tell him and he smiles at me before gesturing for us to go downstairs.

"Any time." He tells me. He genuinely means it because I know that it's only five minutes until two in the morning but he hasn't told me to wait until morning. He's actually decided to help me and I feel very nervous about this. I feel ashamed that I can't figure this out for myself. Dad gestures for me to go to the kitchen and he gets two cups out.

"Tea or coffee?" he asks me and I stare at him.

"Why do you still love me?" I ask him and Dad frowns, putting the mugs down. He pulls out a chair and stares at me as if he didn't understand what I just asked him. "I messed up. I'm broken. Sometimes I look at my hands and I see claws. I could hurt people. I failed everyone."

"Kuon, nobody's perfect but what I do know is that you're my son and I love you unconditionally, I always have, you should know the feeling when you think about Rose and Ana. As for you seeing claws, I never see them. I see my son. My son has had a lot of difficulties in life but that doesn't change the fact that he's my son." Dad tells me.

I take another breath in, I hate to say this to him. "I thought about burning myself," I tell him and I see the sadness in his expression.

"Have you told Kyoko that?" he asks and I shift nervously. I shake my head and Dad looks at me appearing even more concerned. "You probably should, she understands and she wants to support you. If something happens then she's not going to blame you because she loves you."

"I do love you," I hear her yawn at the doorway, "What are the two of you talking about?" she asks and I look to her. Dad nods encouraging me to do it and I look down.

"I'm having self-harm thoughts," I tell her and she nods sadly.

"Have you acted on them?" she asks in a nonjudgmental manner. I shake my head and she smiles, coming to sit down next to me. "I'm glad. Tell me when they come, we can figure out a system to help you feel better even if you do feel better talking to your Dad about it."

"I want to talk to you about it but I hate seeing you upset," I tell her and Kyoko looks at me.

"Then we'll do it together and as long as you're working and fighting your hardest for us then I can't get disappointed or lose faith in you; okay." I nod with a smile as I look at her. I feel that both Dad and Kyoko really have my back on this.

KyKuKyKu

I know that it's going to take some time for the two of us to get set into a good rhythm again but as long as he's talking to somebody then it's good. For so many years, Kuon dealt with all of his problems by himself. I'm just happy that he can go to Father even if he doesn't feel comfortable with me. He should feel comfortable with me though. I'm his wife and I need to work on giving him a safe space to voice himself.

"I want to talk to you about it but I hate seeing you upset," he tells me and I pause. I don't care how upset it makes me because all I really want to do is help him. For a long time I never wanted to prioritize anyone….well no one in a romantic manner and then I fell in love with Kuon and it's okay if what he tells me scares me or upsets me because _he _has to be okay.

"Then we'll do it together," I tell him and he smiles, bowing his head, and nods. I just want him to know that he's not alone in all of this. I just want for him to be happy. You don't choose who you love and he loves me despite how my emotions can swing from one place to the other but he's always been supportive of me. I had so many mood swings when I was pregnant but he supported me, got me any food that I craved, and loved me whilst being very calming. He deserves someone to be able to hold his hand through the hard times. "As long as you're working and fighting your hardest for us then I can't get disappointed or lose faith in you, okay?"

"Thank you," he smiles to me and I kiss his cheek.

"Anything else you need to talk about?" Father asks as he looks at Kuon and Kuon bows his head, takes a deep breath out and then shakes his head.

"I feel like I woke you up for nothing, Dad, I'm really sorry," he says and I place soft kisses to his upper arm to try to help him relax and prove that I love him.

"Are you feeling any better?" Father asks and Kuon nods, Father smiles in return, "Then it most definitely wasn't for nothing. Do you want me to stay or do you two have it handled."

I press my nose lovingly to Kuon's neck, nuzzling him. The decision is up to him though. If he feels more comfortable with Father being here then we can talk as the three of us, if he feels okay then I'm going to stay regardless. "It's okay, we can take all the time that you need."

"I'll talk to you in the morning?" Kuon asks and Father nods. "Thank you so much for -"

"Don't mention it," Father tells him before hugging him again and then hugging me and going to bed. I look at Kuon, pushing his hair back with my fingertips. My dear, sweet, prince Corn.

"Anything that you'd like to talk about?" I ask as I smile at him though I really just want to kiss him passionately and prove the depths of my love.

"Boss told me he could set us up a private plane to go to Tokyo," Kuon tells me and I open my mouth in surprise but then nod slowly, is he sure about this? I don't want him to become overwhelmed? Then again, I don't want him to think I'm attempting to control his life. "Would you be okay doing that?"

"Yes," I smile before pausing, "I have one request though for when we do go."

"You want to visit Daruma-ya?" he asks me and I nod. I kiss his cheek once again. "I think that could be arranged," he says before taking my hand and lightly squeezing it. "I love you," he tells me and I exhale.

"I love you too, I don't think you even will understand just how much." It's true. Even I don't understand just how far my love for Kuon goes but I am pretty sure that its' limitless.

**End of Chapter Sixty Five**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Sixty Four

Kaname671


	66. Chapter 66

**Chapter Sixty Six**

I don't really know how to feel as I look outside the window and see the very familiar runway of Narita Airport. I survived the flight and I have to thank Boss deeply for that. Still, I am unsure of who they truly expect to arrive here. For so long, I lived a life as Ren Tsuruga and then I just changed to Kuon Hizuri. Both men are different parts of me but Ren was a proper Japanese gentleman and I'm a typical American.

As I look out the window, I feel Kyoko taking my hands in her own. "Are you okay?" she asks me and I nod because I really don't know how else to best answer that question. "I'm sure it will be fine and Hikaru-san will make sure everything is okay when he interviews you. I trust him completely."

"Nobody knows that I'm going to be here?" I ask as I look out the window at the runway. It seems like a typical airport. Kyoko takes my hand in hers and I hear the sound informing us that we can leave.

"The president has asked one of his driver's to meet us," she tells me and I nod. Okay. Maybe this will all go smoothly. Apparently the president has set us up with a temporary living space he owns and we'll be spending the trip there. If it goes well, Mom will bring the girls on a future flight.

"I'm looking forward to dinner tonight," she tells me and I smile weakly. I love going to Daruma-ya because it makes Kyoko so happy but I'm also sure that the boss still doesn't really like me. I hope that he'll show me some support though. He's a reasonable guy, he can't be too harsh on a man who once had brain damage from a traffic accident.

"I'll try to ea-eat," I tell her and she reaches for my hand again. She squeezes it before giving me a supportive look, she smiles before kissing my cheek and I hear the sound of the pilot's voice telling us that it's safe to leave the aircraft. I really hope that things will be okay.

KyKuKyKu

I should have expected the crowds. I shouldn't have felt that my arrival in Japan would be considered a private event. I nervously move forward hearing the crowd support and Kyoko puts a hand on my back, I'm wheeling the cart with our luggage but I just feel that I'm trapped. I look down at my hands and then feel Kyoko hold onto my arm, squeezing it softly.

Not only am I an award-winning actor who has been in some of the more popular movies and TV shows. Not only am I someone who started their career here among top Japanese actors. I am someone who was reported to be dead, was reported that they could have died an additional two times. It's really a miracle for me to be here at all but that's what Kyoko makes happen, miracles.

I take a deep breath in as I hear the reporters trying to get closer to me to ask me questions about my return, my plans for being in Japan, I hear a couple of questions about Fuwa. I smile as I try to form answers but it seems like it's becoming a bit overwhelming. I start hearing my heart beat and feeling my headache over the questions and I put a hand to my head. Kyoko sees this and squeezes my hand, bringing it to her lips before she steps forward.

"Kuon and I would like to thank all of you for your support," she says to them and I watch her as she takes on the crowd for me. "Hopefully soon we will be returning permanently to Japan. On this visit we hope to reconnect with old friends and connections and enjoy some of the things we've always loved about this country. Thank you for coming out and supporting the two of us."

She's amazing. She knows that I can't handle this crowd but instead of becoming disappointed and running away to protect me, she has done what is needed and face them. I move my hand away from my forehead, the stinging is a little less.

"Are you okay?" she asks as she rubs my upper arm and I nod slowly. She spots a couple of people that Boss sent to meet us and tugs me towards them. I see that the crowd is watching me, cheering for me, wanting to take my picture. This is a good thing, right? For all of these people to be so invested in me and what I've done in my life. I walk out to the exit as one of the men takes our bags.

Kyoko leans up to kiss my cheek, "I love you," she whispers as she steps back and holds my hands in her own. "I really love you."

KyKuKyKu

I'm really nervous. I feel that the situation at the airport was handled well, I could see Kuon touch his forehead and that is one of the first signs that a seizure is still possible but once I spoke to the crowd, calmed them down, he didn't have any other symptoms. I am scared though. The president said that he was going to allow us the use of one of his personal residences whilst we are in Japan.

That could mean anything. It could mean staying with him or staying in a luxury house or staying in a tent. Okay, I don't think that he would be that unsupportive of Kuon that he would make him sleep in a tent after all he's been through but anything is possible and it makes me nervous that we don't know the address.

I look around and blink as I stare at the outside of the car. This all seems really familiar and I see Kuon's eyes widen and a smile go over his face. It always makes me so happy to see him smiling. I know that this place is like a home for him and I think that I'm right. The president has made it so that we're able to spend time in the apartment where we lived, the apartment in which Ren lived for all those years.

As we're each handed a key, I know that I'm right. It's another place that has seemed like home for the two of us – of course my home is anywhere where I can be wrapped up in Kuon's arms. "The president thought you'd like staying here," Ruto tells us and Kuon bows his head, his smile increasing as a bright glow surrounds him.

"Thank you," he tells him before putting the key into his pocket. As we arrive at the outside of the apartment building, Kuon speaks up. "You can drop us here," he tells him. "Thank you and please thank the president for all that he's doing for us."

I smile as the car is parked and our luggage unloaded and handed to us. This is what it is like returning home, it's as if all of those years went by in a flash but I wonder if Kuon is feeling that way. I wonder whether all of this pain and hardship and struggle he's been through seem to be minimized by the way we are standing outside a place where it was home, it was considered his home.

I follow Kuon in through the private entrance, using the new keycode that is written on the key envelopes and we go down the hallway to the elevators. I follow him, feeling happy to see that his back is straight and he's walking with confidence. That's what I've wanted to see the most from him this past year, that same sense of confidence that he's known for.

We stand in the elevator together but as it stops at another floor, I freeze. There are a group of older women there, they look fashionable and wealthy so they fit the demographic of people who could live here but I hope that they don't notice Kuon is in the elevator with them. I don't know how Kuon is going to interact with others or what triggers might cause him to feel ill.

I shift to the corner but the women exit the elevator without saying anything to us. They seem far too caught up in the gossip. Finally I hear the ding of the elevator and the doors open. I step forward and walk down the hallway to the apartment, the only apartment on the floor and smile as I see Kuon go to the door. I remember so many things as I hear that familiar beep. This is where we did the Katsuki training. This is where I became Natsu. This is where we would come after a date or where I would cook for him during our date. This is where we lived together. This is where we came back to together after he proposed to me. As the door opens, I feel the light bathe me and I step inside. It's definitely been cleaned. A lot of the furniture is different but it doesn't matter. It's home.

Kuon walks over to a table that has flowers, balloons, a strawberry cream cake near some dry ice, and a card reading 'Welcome Back'. I grin and laugh happily as I hug him from behind. This is a place that holds so many memories to me, so many emotions, so much love.

"It was worth coming back just to be here," I tell him and he nods. "Are you okay?" I ask as I finally let myself reflect on what happened at the airport. "How's your head?" I gesture and he takes a deep breath in before going to sit down on the sofa that's now been placed in the room. He pushes his hair back and I feel a twinge in my heart as I see that groove that will always be there although it's hidden by his hair.

"I was scared," he admits to me. "Before you spoke out, I could feel a definite pain and I could hear my heart, my heartbeat was so loud that it was drowning out all other sound. I'm thankful that you stopped it though. If I had had a seizure in front of that many people…" he looks down at his hands and I come over to him and sit down next to him, letting my head rest against his shoulder.

"I wish I had known that," I tell him, "I might have been able to help you more than I did."

He stares at me before shaking his head, "You were amazing," he replies. "I don't know where I would be wi-without you."

This right now is all that I've needed. Me and him together somewhere safe. If you add the girls in then this would be an absolute paradise.

**End of Chapter Sixty Six**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Sixty Five

Kaname671, kyoko minion


	67. Chapter 67

**Chapter Sixty Seven**

Once upon a time, there was a god who made it so heavenly people could exist. These people walk among us now, ones who could be considered more than models. Ones that could have stood on the entry steps to heaven. Ones who had such majestic good looks that….

"Are you okay?" I hear my husband ask me in a concerned voice. I blink before looking up at him from where we're sitting in the back of the car. I'll get the car for our personal use tomorrow. I hate it that Kuon isn't allowed to drive anymore, at least until he's passed a few more medical tests. He always loved driving.

"Kuon?" I ask as I sit up and see him smiling at me. I must have had a dream but of course, when I dream I have to think about princes with golden hair and emerald eyes. I feel that my mouth is a little damp and, I blink, did I drool on his arm? "Sorry. I'm awake," I look to the driver and bow numerous times remembering how I used to be.

Kuon chuckles a little as he looks at me before staring forward. "I'm a li-little nervous," he stutters and I look around. This place is so familiar to me. It was my home for a long time. It was filled with people who I loved and I could feel loved by. I see his smile dampen a little and my stomach squeezes.

"Well," I say nervously, feeling as if this is going against every sense of meaning within me. "We don't have to…"

"No. Let's go in. It'll be better when we're inside," Kuon tells me and I smile. I look at his jacket. He hasn't wiped it off. It's a really nice jacket, I should know, I made it for him, yet he hasn't said anything to me.

"Kuon, your arm…I'm…"

Kuon takes a look at it before looking back at me and kisses my forehead, my nose, and then he passionately kisses my lips, drawing back slowly. "I've left you with much worse." He pulls back as I have my mouth open. Is he still thinking that way. If I were told that my husband would be involved in a major traffic accident, would be attacked with someone attempting to murder him, then would be tortured for someone's sick revenge and all that would happen is he would mostly recover but have nighttime incontinence issues, I would be insanely happy. Kuon has made it through so much in such an unbelievable manner. He's some kind of princely superhero fairy type.

Kuon opens my door for me and holds out his hand to take mine. Wait? How did he get there so fast? I smile weakly as I take his hand. I know he wants to clear up the scars on his face but it doesn't keep him from looking like Kuon. I gently let my hand rest upon his cheek and kiss him again before he laughs and I lead him to the back entrance. I hope they aren't worried about us using this, they have told us before that if we want to keep a low profile that we should enter this way.

As I stand there with Kuon behind me, I see the door open and Okami-san stands with a huge smile, I see her for a moment before she has wrapped her arms around me, embracing me as a member of her family.

"Kyoko-chan," she laughs, "You're too skinny. You need to eat a lot so that you're not unwell and…" she smiles as she turns to Kuon and bows, Kuon bows in response. "I am really glad that you're alive and seem to be well, Kuon-kun. We were worried about you."

Inside, my heart is singing having heard that and I turn to Kuon eagerly to see his response. He stands there stunned before smiling happily.

"Thank you," he says as he drops down into another bow, "I am very thankful that you thought of me. I hope that my presence here has eased your con-concerns."

Okami-san's jaw drops as she looks Kuon over. I look to Kuon who looks a little taken aback, not sure how to respond in this particular situation.

"You don't speak as if you suffered head trauma," she tells us and I look to Kuon, grabbing his hand. Yes. Yes, now he doesn't but that's only because of how hard he's worked. Every single day of his recovery, he worked his hardest and pushed himself beyond his limits and that's why he's been able to recover.

"I tr-tried hard," he tells her and I see his hand very slowly go to his forehead. Is he going to have a seizure right here whilst we're outside?

I squeeze his hand and look to Okami-san pleadingly but she already knows what to do and she gracefully ushers us inside and has us go to the dining room where we used to have our meals in the past. "So," Okami-san says as she changes the subject trying to make sure to take care of Kuon and not let him become too stressed. "I would really love to hold Rose in my arms again and sweet little Ana, I don't think I've seen her since she was a baby."

"I'm sorry," I tell her and she shakes her head. "Soon, they'll be able to come and visit soon."

"We'll make sure of it," Kuon says slowly with a weak smile as Okami-san takes our coats and gestures for us to sit down. "They love it here. N-Now, anything th-that I can help with?"

"You just sit down and get comfortable, it's been a long time since the four of us ate together," Okami tells him and I smile at how cute Kuon is. I'm really amazingly lucky to have him as my husband. Maybe he has bad days and he does have his share of flaws but I love him because of all of him. I don't have to hide his flaws because I accept him unconditionally because he accepts me unconditionally. Who needs more than that with the person they love.

KyKuKyKu

I look around the room where I've come before both before Kyoko and I were married and whilst we are. I feel that this is a room they want to keep specially for her and I remember when I was first invited to dine with the four of them. I had asked Kyoko the right way to eat fish and the right things to say and she had told me about who sat where at the table. I tried to remember all of that. I'm not the best when it comes to anything with food but if it's important to Kyoko or the people who Kyoko cares about, I'll do my best to not upset them.

Okami-san has always been a nice woman, she's always treated Kyoko as a daughter and thinks of me as a son-in-law despite us not having anything connecting us. I can smell the food from the kitchen, it's always good food. As much as I'm not a fan of eating anything other than Kyoko's food, I do appreciate the cooking they have here.

Kyoko puts a hand over mine, "Are you okay?" she whispers as she looks at me with a very deep level of concern. I nod and she takes out a bottle of medicine from her pocket and quickly hands it to me trying to hide it. I look at it and don't want to tell her that I have a few pills from it already on me. She's worried about my having a seizure. Of course after today at the airport, she'd be worried about that.

"If you want to take it now I can go and get you some water," she whispers before pushing my hair back and then looks forward giving an exhale from relief. "No fever. If you do need to go home then let me know. I'm sure that they'll understand."

"I'm fine," I tell her. I know she's only worrying so much because she loves me so much, I should feel very fortunate about that. I squeeze her hand and bring it up to my lips. "I'm fine," I repeat and she nods, gazing into my eyes with her amazing amber ones. How am I so lucky that this woman, this princess, agreed to marry me?

"The girls should come here," I tell her and she nods excitedly. Last time Taisho even let Rose watch him cook. I don't know how he feels about me but it makes me happy to see how he treats Kyoko and the girls.

We're sitting there waiting for the two owners to come, the dinner crowd should be winding down and there's some more employees. There's actually two more locations of this restaurant in Japan since Kyoko and I became investors in the business. I close my eyes before hearing someone enter and my back straightens. I have always been a little intimidated by the Taisho here.

There are heavier footsteps before an appetizer noodle dish is presented to us. I am about to put my hands together to thank them for the food but hear Kyoko gasp. I turn the bowl to take a better look at the dish and then stare at her. One thing that I definitely am not knowledgeable is food. I pause and look at her.

"Oh, Kuon," she says to me, "You might not know this but these noodles are rare noodles. I've only had them twice before. They are rare noodles that are meant to bring someone good luck and thank them for an achievement," I pause. Is this because we came here after not coming for such a long time. I see Kyoko cry and I turn to the Okami-san who has sat down and the Taisho who is sitting opposite me.

'Th-Thank you," I say hesitantly. I bow my head low, "I am very th-thankk-f"

"No." Taisho shakes his head and I feel that familiar feeling of being held under his gaze and questioned about my intentions and whether I'm to be a good boyfriend, good fiancé, good husband, good father. This man has always had a power to make me question everything about the world and how hard I should go to seek his approval. He's important to Kyoko so I do my best but he lives by a code that is different from my own and it's not a game I have a cheat mode to.

"No?" I ask and turn to Kyoko.

"You don't thank me," he says and I feel like I look like an idiot. Is this because of the head injury? He doesn't look down on me, does he? "You are a hero of men." I pause before weakly shaking my head. I haven't done anything apart from stay alive. "You fought for what was important, to be a good husband and father. A noble man doesn't leave his family behind."

I open my mouth to say something but I don't know what the ideal thing is to say. I've been trying to win this man's approval for years and I always am able to say something but this time, he is complimenting me and I don't know how to respond.

"Your life continues because you have people who need for your life to continue. You have a family. A strong man protects his family," I smile and the Taisho gestures to Kyoko, "Just as I have always protected her."

**End of Chapter Sixty Seven**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Sixty Six

Kaname671, kyoko minion


	68. Chapter 68

**Chapter Sixty Eight**

"_Tell me if you don't feel comfortable," he tells me in his sweet manner as he lays me down in the bed. I have already unbuttoned my blouse for him and slid my skirt off so that my underwear is touching his mattress. I feel my cheeks turn a deep red as I feel his breath on my neck. "Too much?" he asks and I look up at him. Even though he hasn't dyed his hair and the lighting in the room is making it hard for me to tell the color of his eyes, I know that I am not looking at Ren. I'm also not looking at the Kuon that I thought was emperor of the night. This man holding me so protectively in his arms. This is Corn, no Kuon, my fairy prince. "Too fast?" he asks concerned._

"_No," I say although I feel like part of me is going to explode. I've been with Kuon as his girlfriend for a year but this is the first time I've ever made love with someone. I'm about to lose my virginity, would Moko-chan scold me for this? I see the way he slowly slips my shirt off and then expertly unhooks my bra. How much practice has he had!? _

"_Well," he says as I feel myself start sweating, "Tell me if it is too-"_

_I take a deep breath and think about Setsu. I flip him over and he lays there in surprise at how I could have done that. Let's say that if his body wasn't following my own I couldn't have done that. He laughs a little breathlessly and I place my hands on his chest. I look over him and kiss his forehead, his nose, his chin, and then sink myself into his lips._

"_Let me take control," I tell him and he just laughs and looks up at me. _

"_Anytime," he nods._

_I know that he realizes how inexperienced I am with this but he's just letting me, a total beginner, try to take charge and he's happy about this. What if I do this wrong? What if I'm bad? What about if I'm bad at sex. I turn red and feel his hand squeezing mine. _

"_It's okay. I love you. It'll be okay," he attempts to reassure me. I smile. I can do this if it's with him._

KyKuKyKu

I let myself blink my eyes open as I still feel warm and loved. Doing it in this bed brought back memories of our past, of how it was with Kuon trying to be calm and loving and gentle and passionate. Kuon obviously had lots of experience when it came to the physical sensation of loving someone but he wasn't in love with anyone before me, I smile and blush as I think of that. It's as if I won the lottery. Kuon never loved someone until I reentered his life. Am I being a little too cocky to get excited about that.

I think about the way he's been with me on our wedding night, when Rose was conceived, when Ana was conceived, those very important moments of our lives. He's never been rough with me. He's always been the most gentle and passionate and compassionate person that I could ask for. I blink again before sitting up in the bed. "Kuon," I say before feeling a breeze blow past me. He's not here.

I cling to the sheets, bringing them to my body. What happened? Is he just getting something to refresh himself. Should I have resisted falling asleep? I take a deep breath in before grabbing my robe and panties and put them on. I stand up and slip my slippers on before looking around. I don't know where he is. I feel a little scared that he's not here with me. Is that selfish?

I suddenly have a sinking feeling in my stomach and I feel a cold breeze that doesn't feel like it belongs. It's coated with sadness. I know these icy chills. The first time I felt one was when I was in my Bo costume and I stumbled upon him. I've loved this man for ten years, I know how he thinks and this isn't good. Was I bad? Did I not perform up to his expectations? No. Kuon has always said that just being by my side is good enough for him.

I follow the icy chill and see him standing on the balcony looking out at the city below us. His hands are gripping tightly to the bar and I start to panic. I know that if someone fell from this height that they wouldn't survive. All of a sudden, I get a flash of Guam. I only found out later how he 'flew' and that won't work this time. "No!" I call out and he turns to me confused. I see the pain in his eyes and I laugh weakly. I shouldn't have been so sensitive.

"Are you okay?" he asks me with a weak smile and I go over to him, taking his hand in my own.

"I'm fine. What are you doing out here?" I ask. I see him look over the edge again and my heart starts to pound in my chest. He turns to me and I'm a little afraid that I'm going to see that gentleman's smile again. He knows that he can't fool me with that. Maybe the rest of the world will play into that game, but I'm not one who can be duped that easily. I'm his wife. That means something.

Instead he looks at me sadly and I see him bow his head. He's not pretending with me. He's not guarding himself or denying it. I look at him not moving any more and he laughs weakly. I see him sit down on a bench out here and I immediately go to his side. I hate seeing this much inner turmoil and pain especially if there's something which I can do to help it. "I'm scared, that's really stupid isn't it."

"Corn," I tell him as I grab his hand. "If there is anyone who doesn't need to explain that they are scared, it's you. You've been through so much. Of course you can be scared. I'm scared _for_ you." He looks to me with a weaker smile before shaking his head and closes his eyes, exhaling slowly.

"What if I fail? What if I relapse? What if my health gets worse?"

I freeze. I think back on when he nearly died the second time after Ana had a cold and I didn't do enough to isolate him from her even when I knew how fragile he was and how he was in bad health. No. I don't want to go back to those times but I have to admit that it's a possibility and even if I don't _want_ to acknowledge it, I have to. People might think that this is Kuon's sickness and Kuon's struggle but I'm involved too. I'm a part of this and when he's hurting, I'm hurting too.

"Hopefully that doesn't happen," I tell him before holding his hands with both of mine, "but if it does, we'll get through it together. I love you," I tell him as I let my head rest on his shoulder. I know that years back, ten years, I never wanted to fall in love with anyone. I wanted to keep myself guarded from him but I'm glad that I didn't have to wish him happiness with someone else. I'm glad that I got to keep loving him. "We're a team, right?" I wink at him and he nods.

He takes another deep breath in and I hum, I know that he wants to say something to me and I definitely want to listen to him. "Kyoko, I know that acting was hard for you in Am-America but…"

"Nope," I tell him with a grin and he blinks staring at me. "I am completely happy with my fashion designing. I know that you fell in love with me as an actress but I'm going to let all those other girls do that. I am very happy designing clothes and selling them and especially when I make things for you and the girls."

"I didn't fall in love with you because you acted," Kuon protests and I stick my tongue out at him in a playful way so that he knows that I'm just teasing him. "I love your clothes."

"I know and I love the way you are when you're acting. You always get such joy figuring out a character. Once upon a time I wanted to be better than you at acting but no one is better than the master even if the master is a little rusty," I tease him and he smiles. I'm glad that he's smiling, I would feel really guilty if he even imagined I was bullying him.

"I think we should get some sleep, we're going to LME tomorrow," he tells me and I hug him again. I can't believe how amazing he is. His speech has improved in such a rapid way that there is no doubt at least _some_ fairy magic inside of him. More than anything. I'm glad that he doesn't feel as if he needs to hide how he's thinking or what he's feeling. He trusts me. I'm very glad that he trusts me the way that he does. My Corn.

KyKuKyKu

Crowds. There are, of course, a lot of crowds here. They must have known that we were coming. I try to smile as we walk by people talking about us, throwing out questions towards us, people taking numerous photos. I'm glad that Kyoko is here. She's told me to depend on her and she'll act as if she's my manager, my bodyguard, my assistant and anything else that I might need so that we can get through today. I want to tell her that the only role I need for her to play is my lovable, adorable, brilliant, intelligent equal, my wife.

"I'm sorry,' Kyoko smiles as she steps forward. "I'm sure that the president of LME will set up some press conferences where we'll be able to discuss our future plans of moving back to Japan which I can confirm is something which we want to do. However, please be respectful of our current situation and allow us some space."

I look at her but the photographs keep continuing. I put a hand to my forehead absent mindedly and Kyoko grabs me. I know that she sees that as a warning sign of a possible seizure. She's been worried about me since the very first time that I had one.

As we manage to get inside, I look to her with a grin and see that Boss has come down to meet the two of us at the front door. Why we didn't go through the better back entrance is something that I should have considered beforehand. "It's okay," I smile to her, "Boss is there. Thank you but you don't need to act as my bodyguard. Let me protect you."

"Isn't that my job as your wife," Kyoko teases before kissing my cheek.

At this point I feel another hand on my shoulder and I feel that it's from an over eager reporter. I'm about to say something about answering questions later but see the look on one of my best friend's faces.

"Why do you think you can leave me behind all the time?" Yashiro asks in a joking manner. "I think that I'll take over the duties as manager if you don't mind, Kyoko," he says to her and Kyoko laughs happily showing her relief.

"Of course. I have to let the master do their work," she says and the next thing I know, Yashiro has snapped back to action and is able to handle with the crowd as if he never stopped being my manager for even a minute. It just feels so familiar being back here.

**End of Chapter Sixty Eight**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Sixty Seven

Kaname671


	69. Chapter 69

**AN:** I'm not sure how well this came out, my brain is basically empty right now because of a combination of heat and the need for sleep but hope you still enjoy.

**Chapter Sixty Nine**

If self-conscious is how you feel when you're scared that people are looking at you and you're the focus of other's attention then the anxiety I have now seems to be more than that. The way that I'm standing in the agency right now reminds me of when I was younger and stronger and had decided that I was leaving for America. I had been so proud of myself and my hard work ethic and I had vowed that I would do whatever would bring me happiness in the future.

And that worked out well for a long time. I was with my wife and had two daughters and I was on numerous TV shows, numerous movies, and then they were all talking about me. I was an internationally known star, I had fans who talked about my modeling, I was the most popular actor in a lot of online polls, I won an Oscar for my acting and then one day instead of having lunch with my wife and children, I saved my precious wife from being killed by a bus but that was okay, it kept her alive and I never expected to recover from it.

The rest of what happened was not anything that I was okay with. The fact that someone took advantage of my situation to nearly kill me when I hadn't done anything to them and the fact that someone who I had hurt by a crime I felt I repented for wanted to torture me. I never agreed to those things.

So yes, I feel as if I'm about to spontaneously combust and I'm begging for that not to turn into a seizure or worse. I take a deep breath in as I see that Boss is looking at me with concern. I turn to Kyoko who is holding out a medicine bottle and Yashiro who has somehow returned from calming down the crowd. I know that they are all sharing the same question that I am, am I all right?

"Kuon," Kyoko says and I look back at her. When I meet her gaze she suddenly smiles in relief. What happened? "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I nod and see Boss gesture for us to quickly go to the elevator to get to his private room. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Kyoko stiffens and puts a hand on my upper arm, she puts the pills away but I see the fear in her eyes. Something has happened and yet I'm not exactly sure what. She holds onto my hand and presses her face into my side, "You were just standing there not responding to us," she tells me and I look at her confused. "You were…"

I take a deep breath in. Yes, that did happen and it's not because it was a medical emergency as she might believe that it was. "I was thi-thinking," I tell her, another stupid stutter. "It's been a long time since I was here."

"We're happy to have you," Boss tells me before he shakes his head. "You're unbelievable," he says and I quickly turn to him confused about what he is going to say to me. Did I say something that would put him in this kind of mood? I don't think that I said anything insulting. "You were hurt in so many ways and still, you are walking around as if you weren't hurt and your voice is…if you were any other person, or nearly any other person, I would say that you couldn't have possibly had such a fast recovery time."

I laugh and raise an eyebrow, "Really?" I ask him, "It felt slow."

"See, I thought before that you were an alien but we really should have that tested," Yashiro comments in a teasing manner and really ,I don't know how to explain it myself. I know all of the possibilities that might have happened because of what I've been through but maybe it was hope or my desire to return to a normal living or maybe…maybe I just really do have powers that cannot be explained.

I turn to Kyoko, "Well," I smile to her. "I think it's because of you."

My princess kisses my upper arm again and we go into Boss's private room. I look on the table where there are three stacks of paper. Is this about media coverage? I know that the media really wants me to speak on my experiences, on the pain and recovery that I've felt this past year, when I'll be moving to Kyoto and for them, it seems most importantly, when I'm going to be returning to acting.

"Some of it," Boss says and then looks at me, "And some of them are job offers if you feel ready to try again? They are all smaller parts for right now with directors who truly believe in you. In fact, you've worked with each of these directors in the past, some numerous times. If I were you, I'd try to arrange a one-on-one with either Director Date or Director Shinkai," he winks at me.

I pause. People want me in the condition that I'm currently in. They don't even know if I can even act after the accident. I want to at least look over these roles but if I fail then what does that mean for my future. I turn to Yashiro who nods to me.

"Due to your limitations," Boss tells me, "I find it appropriate that you continue to have a manager with you."

"A friend," Yashiro says trying to correct the president in that. I know that neither of them are worried about my professionalism but they do need to be there for support. I feel grateful that they understand this but I'm still unsure what to do now that I am directly confronted with my fears. I _could_ fail. I could very very easily fail.

"Well, I'd appreciate that," I finally chuckle, "but a friend doesn't get paid so I'll say manager."

Kyoko walks around to the front of me and places her hand gently on my cheek before grinning to me. I see the tears in her eyes but she doesn't blink or push them away. She throws her arms around me and I hold her back, feeling the tears soaking through into my shirt. "I'm so proud of you," she tells me. "I am so proud to be your wife."

KuKyKuKy

When I tell him that I'm proud of him, I mean it. His story is so impressive that I'm sure in the future, people will want to either turn it into a film based on real events or they'll do another documentary on him. People will be inspired by him achieving something others believe impossible. I'm also incredibly happy for him that even with all of the injuries and pain which he's been subjected to, he can agree to at least talk with directors who want to cast him in something. I know that if he was healthier, they would want him for the lead roles instead of these small but still significant characters.

"So, we'll see you for dinner, Yashiro-san," I ask as we leave the elevator and Yashiro nods again.

"We really didn't mean to le-" Kuon tries to apologize and I see the guilt in his face. Whoever might have thought that Kuon would only stay cold and twisted was wrong? He's such a sweet person. He cares about others and though he's not the ideal gentleman that Ren was, I don't need someone who others see as fake. I want Kuon with his flaws.

"It's all turning out for the best," Yashiro says and I open my mouth. I feel a little bad that he moved to the United States for us and now he's moving back to Japan again, with how much he's wanted to be there for his friends, all the dates which he's been having haven't turned out to be very long-term but there's still time, right?

I nod feeling guilty about this and bow deeply, "Thank you again," I tell him. "I'll look forward to seeing you tonight."

Yashiro laughs and shakes his head before crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow, "Remember, Kyoko. You don't have to bow so formally when you're with friends even when you're back in Japan. I'm looking forward to us eating together as well," he says and as he says goodbye to Kuon, my eyes catch onto someone who I knew there was a huge chance of my seeing despite not having wanted to.

If I was younger and didn't have to experience the cruelties of the world and see the torture that the man I love and who loves me has to go through, I would have done anything for Kotonami-san to notice me but I can't delude myself to think that she is the same person she once was. Kuon always came from a successful family, he grew up with the spotlight shining on his parents and therefore he was dragged in as well. That meant that because Kuon was used to the fame and fortune, it didn't affect him as much as it did Kotonami.

"I'm feeling uncomfortable in here," I tell Kuon who looks at me in surprise.

He blinks, turning to me confused but then nods and gestures for us to leave out the back exit so that we can avoid being mobbed by the same fans who swarmed us when we came into the building. I am so stupid for not asking for additional security to help us. I don't want for Kuon to have a seizure and I definitely don't want for _her_ to feel superior."

"You don't have to make excuses for him, you know," Kotonami says as she looks at me. Kuon turns to her and I see the emotions on his face grow complicated but in the end he gives her the Tsuruga Ren smile. I don't want to treat her so kindly knowing what she's said about my husband.

"I'm sorry," Kuon tells her before he bows to her and I feel an inner demon wanting to stop him. He shouldn't be bowing to her. What is he doing? "How are you Kotonami-san?" he asks as I stay silent.

Kanae looks at him a little disturbed and I'm wondering if she never expected him to recover like this. I don't know what to say and I feel moronic for that. I should be stepping up, telling her that my husband proved her wrong but there's still that part of me that wants to be considered her friend, wants to be considered worthy of her love and attention.

"How did you learn to speak so well?" she asks and Kuon only continues with his gentleman's smile. "I suppose if you have money the American health care system can be bought. Did you do that? Buy out their medicine?"

My jaw drops as I hear that and I'm about to tell her that Kuon only got this way because of his hard work, his perseverance, and his desire to get better for me and the girls.

"No, the hospital helped," Kuon replies slowly before I see his true smile and he looks at me. "I never would have healed without Kyoko. She saved me."

I bow my head. I smile as I hear that and I know that he means that but I am disgusted by the fact that there is still this pull in me towards her and this knowledge that Kuon wouldn't even be mad at me if I did try to become her friend again. I don't want to feel this need to be loved. I have Kuon, isn't that good enough.

Kotonami looks to me, "So you saved him?" she asks and I open my mouth to tell her how strong Kuon is, how he surpassed what she thought he would be capable of doing, how she underestimated him. Instead I can only say one short reply

"We saved each other."

**End of Chapter Sixty Nine**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Sixty Eight

Kaname671, kyoko minion


	70. Chapter 70

**Chapter Seventy**

I feel that that is all that needs to be said. Kuon understands how much our family loves him, how supportive we all are of him. I think that having that love and support helped him a lot. Despite the additional pain he's endured, we all work together as a team and I'm extremely proud that I got to stand behind him and help him and now he's alive and probably going back to acting because of me. It's enough. Even though I've lost my friendship with Mo-kotonami, this is enough for now.

"You used her up and took her for granted," Kanae says as she turns to me and I pause. I stare at her as if she's crazy. Used _who_ up? Took _who_ for granted? She gestures to me and I shake my head. I know how easy it is to get him second guessing things if you pull all the right – or wrong triggers.

"Kuon did no su-" I start to say but I see a sadness in Kuon's expression.

"Yes," he admits and my jaw drops. "I relied a lot on Kyoko and I know that she still wa-wants to be friends." I know he hates it when he stutters but it's really amazing that his voice has developed so much. He's a tireless worker. This is why he managed to learn piano notes to a song when observing someone else playing. This is the magic of Kuon. Wait - what did he say?

"She does?" Kotonami says and I open my mouth to argue but I don't know. Do I want to be friends with her? Would she really change her opinion about Kuon? I don't think I could do it without her showing Kuon kindness.

"That's up to her bu-but I have….re-lied on h-her." I see him take a step back and I just want to grab his hand and pull him away. I don't know where we'll go but somewhere. Somewhere away from _her_. "I overly rel-"

Overly relied!? I'm his damn wife. I don't want him hiding things from me again. I don't want for him to want to suffer alone to protect me. All I want to do is be with him and our girls. "Kuon," I take his hand and try to pull him away. I don't know how else to handle this situation.

"You do realize that you're showing disrespect to people who can't afford the medical care which you had. That's the only reason you're alive, because you had enough money. Then again, that's how you Americans deal with issues, with money. You don't even understand the pain that Kyoko has gone through to protect you and help you get better. What about her pain? How are you going to ever pay her back for what she's done for you?"

I see Kuon's smile completely fade and he bows his head. All around me I'm feeling buzzes which are telling me to pay more attention to him because this cold chill is engulfing him and it's all wrong. This is all crap. Paying me back!? Doesn't anyone realize that if Kuon hadn't saved my life on that day, I wouldn't even be alive. I damaged my ankle when he pushed me back but there were some reports saying I might have even been decapitated if he hadn't risked everything he has to protect me.

"I can't…" he says and I just want to slap her.

"And it's because you can't that I think you'll fail and be exposed for the fraud you truly are. You'll never return to acting," she says before smiling at me and I glare at her, she pushes her hair back and strolls away casually and confidently. How could she just say that to him? What did Kuon say which was any type of an insult to her?

I feel the cold chill surrounding me and then my eyes go to Kuon who is shaking, he doesn't look stable. I don't know what's going on but he reaches out for my hand and turns to me with a sense of urgency. "Sweetheart," I tell him and he puts a hand to his forehead. "What is it? What do you need?"

"I ne—eed t-t-to si-tt" he says and I see the warning signs. I pull him across to an isolated table not very far from us and I see him sit down on one of the chairs. I pull it out for him and crouch beside him. He's getting pale and he looks nauseated. My eyes widen as he starts to shake and I immediately manage to get him onto the ground and into a position that would be safe for his seizure. He managed to hold back from it so well today.

I start to hear voices shouting, people calling for help. I don't think he needs it. What they don't know is that we have steps we can take in these situations, we use precautions. I reach in my purse for a bottle of water for when he stops. I feel the tears in my eyes but even though there are dozens of people watching, for me it's only him I can see. As he stops shaking, I push his hair back calmly and feel a hand on my shoulder.

"What do you need?" I look to the side and see Yashiro there. I thought that he had left. I'm glad he's here, he knows the unfortunate frequency of these attacks. "Do you need me to -"

Kuon coughs and I push his hair back again, letting his head rest on my lap. He blinks as he sees numerous people around him. Maybe they'll lose interest after seeing it once. "Could you get us some space?" I ask before kissing Kuon's cheek. "It's okay, Corn. I'm here."

"I mm'bras…you," he slurs a little and that doesn't seem usual. No. Slurring can sometimes happen especially as his first words after one of these attacks. I get him the bottle of water and squeeze his hand. "So'y."

"Did you hit anything?" I ask nervously, "Do you hurt anywhere? Did you bite your tongue?"

"I…" Kuon says as he takes the water and tries to sit up, I make sure to place my hand on his back to support him. "I'm…okay," he says as he pinches the bridge of his nose. I kneel opposite him as he tries to focus on where we are. I see that someone did request for medical help as someone runs with an ER kit. I try to tell them that we don't need further assistance.

I take hold of his hand. I hate that people saw that but it's part of our everyday life. Something so alien to them is something we deal with at least once or twice a week – although it has become less frequent recently – and we know how to handle.

"Is everything okay?" the president says as he comes towards us quickly, "I was just informed about -"

"We're okay," I tell him and he looks to Kuon for confirmation. Kuon nods but he still looks quite pale. Maybe he just needs some food in him. I wrap my arms around him in a loving embrace and as he tries to stand, I put my hand around his waist. That's another part of being a good wife, knowing how to support your husband without him needing to ask you.

"I trust that you are, people don't realize that seizures are one of the most common lasting impacts after head trauma," the president says but I know he's worried. Seizures can be taken care of but they also require oxygen to be cut off from the brain which will never be a good thing. The next thing the president says seems truthful but still worries me. "The doctors have told you the link between anxiety attacks and seizures, correct?"

I nod. Did Kotonami really have such a harmful effect on him?

KyKuKyKu

I feel really guilty for what happened at the agency building. I knew in the moment that I was pushing my body and that my mind was telling me to retreat but Kyoko deserves friends. She has a lot of friends in the fashion world in America and especially some women who both model and act. We actually spent a lot of our time socializing and hosting and attending events before the accident. I wanted to at least start to provide some comfort for her. I've been selfish. I've not been wanting to see people because I felt ashamed and I thought stupidly that if I fixed things with her and Kotonami that Kyoko would be happier.

I was stupid enough to have a seizure over that or at least a panic attack that manifested into a seizure.

I keep hearing people talking about me, talking about us and how they haven't seen us in Japan for years and that they want my autograph but also want to respect me .I hear them talk about how they prefer me with blond hair and green eyes or they prefer when I had brown hair and brown eyes. I slowly inhale and exhale.

I look around. We came shopping to Ginza. We thought that with the higher end stores that it would mean more people would be respectful and leave us alone. I tried talking Kyoko into visiting the department stores and when she got excited about different dresses, I said she'd look beautiful in them and offered to buy them. I know that she wants to do this with a female friend but hopefully I'm good enough.

"I may have gone overboard here," Kyoko laughs as she approaches me from behind and I smile. At least I can appreciate how adorable she is. At least I know that I'm with the most beautiful woman in the whole world and hopefully she's having fun being with someone like me.

"Why?" I chuckle before staring at what she has on a tray. One item is an ice cream cake that has a love theme through chocolate decorations, raspberry and strawberry creams and sauces, and a lot of chocolate. It looks like an impressive feat for even a dessert-loving couple. The other thing that she has is a raspberry and cream drink with a double ended straw shaped like a heart. I look to her and smile. "I do have to admit that I might not be the best person to share this with but it looks good," I tell her. My voice is very soft. I still feel somewhat weak but she hasn't commented on it or told me to speak up.

"What are you talking about?" Kyoko laughs, "You're the _only_ person who I want to share this drink and this cake with," she says before reaching out to take my hand. "Can't you understand that you're _always_ the person I most want to spend my time with."

I pick up the straw by one of the heads and grin. "I still remember that date that we had in Guam," I wink at her and she laughs, shaking her head.

"That was _not_ a date," she tells me before taking a sip of the drink before laughing again. "That was a very nice drink between friends and a conversation that ended in me being able to see you smile again. The day when Corn got his smile back," she tells me before I look at her and see her face has flushed red.

All I'm doing is trying to use the same adorable expression as I did over ten years ago. "I thought it was a date," I tell her and she has put her hand over her mouth, her eyes wide and I see her lips move 'puppy dog times infinity' she comments. "Well, it ended with a kiss."

I dare myself to move despite her looking like she's about to explode and let my hand slip onto her cheek, "Just…" I lean down and position myself a little bit better, "like…" still moving into her so that we're practically sharing the same breaths, "this."

Kissing her is one of the best things about being her husband.

**End of Chapter Seventy**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Sixty Nine

Kaname671


	71. Chapter 71

**Chapter Seventy One**

I smile as he kisses me and wrap my arms around him hoping to lengthen these joyous moments.

One of the best things about being his wife is when he kisses me.

He pulls back and I just have a hundred different adjectives for how he looks: gorgeous, adorable, sexy. I love him. I love him. I can't keep myself from loving him. What's best about our relationship is that I really get reciprocated what I give. Kuon is always trying to make me feel like a princess. I just hope that Kotonami didn't do permanent damage to how he feels and that he still trusts me and will share with me the bad feelings as well as the good.

When he sits back down I reach for him and he immediately takes hold of my hand. I smile. My Corn. I'm so unbelievably happy that we are here together and I know he won't finish half of this drink or this cake but the idea of sharing it together makes me happy and he indulges my happiness.

I take a nervous breath in and focus on him. "Kuon," I tell him gently and he turns to me and nods quietly. "Can I ask you something?"

"You know you can ask me anything," he says and I see the concern in his eyes. I know that there's at least some small part of him that's blaming himself, most likely the absurd belief that he embarrassed me by having a seizure, a medical condition he can't help or change.

"Why do you want for me to be friends with _her?_" I ask him and he blinks at me confused before looking down and sighing. "I mean. You do know that I would never want to be friends with anyone who talks to you that way, who treats you that way. I don't think it's right for anyone to treat you in that manner."

"You shouldn't base your friendships on me," he tells me and I squeeze his hand. What is he talking about? No, he can't control my friendships but then he never has, the only person he's been uncomfortable with is Sho—Fuwa and he had very good reason to be seeing as he attempted to murder Kuon.

"How can I not take into account the feelings of my best friend?" I ask him.

"So, she's sti-" he begins and I look at him firmly but kindly. I bring his hand up to my lips and rub the back of it with my other hand.

"_You_ are my best friend," I assure him. I know that when we started dating, Kotonami and he were often competitive but when I moved to the United States, I found that he was best for me. Meeting Kuon Hizuri is the best thing that ever happened to me. "I don't care about her. I care about you. What happened today…I'm sorry that you were put into that position. No one should ever talk to you in that manner."

"It'll happen," he shrugs in a defeated manner before sighing, "I know how much she used to mean to you. I don't want to be the reason why you don't have strong female friendships. I can only do so much as a man, you might need to -"

"A man?" I cough and he looks at me awkwardly, "How about my husband? The love of my life? The man that I wake up every day feeling extremely fortunate to be with? The father to our two girls? I love our time together. I'm not going to sacrifice that or put you in an unwanted position. Besides, I have other friends and when we move here, I'm sure that I'll make more friends."

"I mean, it'd be strange for you to say that a dress looks better on me," Kuon jokes and I shake my head. That doesn't matter. Unlike when I was with Shotaro and he would ask me whether I wanted things, Kuon will go in and buy whatever I like and sometimes I have to stop him because I don't like it that much.

"Yes, that would be strange but I can still admire suits, ties, shirts," I tell him and he bows his head and smiles.

"Can you promise me that you'll tell me if that ever stops being the case?" he asks and I nod. I lean forward and kiss him and he looks up at me, I gaze into those amazing emerald eyes.

"I will," I tell him. I don't think I'll ever tell him that. He's my best friend. No one can even meet his level. I am so grateful that I am lucky enough to be his wife and there is nothing I would trade that privilege for. I just want for him to be happy. I want to do whatever I can to help him stay happy.

KuKyKuKy

_Kotonami is standing behind me with her hand on the back of my neck and I try to turn to look at her but my neck feels stiff and if I move it more, I'm scared that I'm going to break it. I open my mouth but it feels wooden, I can't move it like I usually do. It feels a little like a nutcrackers and my body, as I move forward, it feels like I'm not in control of my own body._

_I see Kuon there approaching me and he looks at me concerned, "Are you okay, princess?" he asks and I try to smile and reach out for him but instead I feel my eyebrows slip down in an angry expression and instead of reaching out for him, I slap him._

"_Leave me alone!" I say without meaning to. I'm not in control of my own words. "You abused me. You need to leave."_

"_I'm sorry," Kuon says as he rubs his cheek where I just hit him. I would never hit him like that…well unless I had to bring him back to reality but then it wouldn't be like that. "I didn't mean to abuse you, I'm so sorry that you feel that way."_

"_You should be in prison," I tell him as my leg moves on its own and I kick him. "I hate you! You monster! You've ruined my life."_

_I see his pain as he hears that and then I hear a siren behind him and two officers run in to grab him. They push his head down and although everything in me is wanting to protect him, he is held down and they start to put handcuffs on him._

_I laugh as he stares at me confused and they put him in a straight jacket. "You deserve hell." I tell him and see him get dragged away. I am unable to stop it. As he leaves my sight, I feel myself get tossed down and I can't move. I feel like I'm a wooden puppet and as I look at my hand I realize that's exactly what I am. I can't move. I only exist when being controlled by others. The only person I would trust to take care of me in this manner has been pulled away from me and I don't know if he's ever going to come back._

KyKuKyKu

"Kuon!" I hear and blink my eyes sleepily before sitting up immediately. It's the middle of the night. What happened? She's panting and covered in sweat and I reach for her.

"Hey, it's okay," I whisper as she grabs to me and I bring her into a loving embrace. She turns to my chest and starts sobbing and I push my fingers through her hair lovingly. I realize that my pajama shirt is unbuttoned and she's crying onto my bare chest. No. That doesn't matter. Something is upsetting her and whether it's a dream or not, I'm not going to be able to calm myself until she's happy again.

"Kuon," she whispers and I kiss the top of her head a few times. I rub her back hoping that it helps. "I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry?" I ask her. I let her cry as much as she needs to. I hope that I can help her at least with some of it. Most likely it was a bad dream but I'm not sure what she's dreamt about. I do empathize with her, my nightmares keep me awake as well. "What are you sorry about?"

"I hurt you," she says before I wrap my arms around her lovingly. "I didn't mean what I said. I love you. I'm sorry," she tells me and I try to calm her again. I push her hair back and kiss her forehead.

"Kyoko Hizuri," I tell her gently, "You haven't done anything that you need to apologize for and you definitely don't need to apologize to me. Did you want to get up and we can get some tea or something and you can tell me everything?" I ask and she shakes her head. I hope that she's not saying that because she's worried about me. Sometimes I wish she was more selfish and less accommodating but that's not really how she was brought up.

"No…" she says slowly, "I'll go back to sleep. Let's go back to sleep," she sobs and I tuck some of her hair behind her ear.

"Is that really what you want?" I ask her and as she nods, I move us so that we are back into the bed. She curls in towards me and presses her head into my chest again. She shivers and I hold her close with one arm, the other rubbing her back a little in case it helps. "I promise I'll hold you until you wake up," I tell her and she sobs again.

"Thank you, Corn," she tells me.

"Of course," I reply. If holding her whilst she sleeps is going to be enough to chase the bad dreams away then of course I'll do it without hesitation. I hate seeing her in pain. Even seeing her panic over a nightmare makes me feel a share of her pain and her fear. I'll stay awake until after she's gone back to sleep. I just want to protect her and make her happy.

KyKuKyKu

_I look down at my arms and see that they are still wood, strings are attached to every part of my body and I see ball joints instead of normal arms and legs. I feel sick. I feel someone move me and I'm scared that it's her. I'm terrified that I'm still her puppet and am doing whatever she needs to do. I feel something soft under my arm. Where did she put me. _

_I hear a pained voice from a direction I can't look in and start to feel something being rubbed into me. Wood oil. It smells nice and it feels even better, some kind of massage? Wait, she's taking care of me? "I'm sorry," I hear HIS voice and he crouches down in front of me. He looks so tired and his eyes are red and puffy as if he's been crying. "I don't know how to break the curse."_

_He reaches for my hand, his touch is gentle and I look down to see that he's actually wearing a thin glove. In his hand is something that looks like premium wood oil. He still looks at me with such love. I take a look at my hand and realize that it's just a circle, I don't even have fingers. He still holds it in his. "I'm going to do everything I can to try to change you back. I love you," he tells me before applying more of the oil. He picks up my ball hand and kisses it very lightly. "I still love you."_

_He moves behind me and gently pushes my hair back before combing it delicately. It feels nice. He's taking care of me – a wooden puppet – the best way he knows how. _

_I force my mouth to open, "Kuon" I say in a very wooden manner. It hurts. Speaking on my own really hurts. He rushes forward and looks at me, very gently touching the side of my face. I see his pain and despair and concern but also the depth of his love for me. I try to move towards him but my entire body collapses out of the position he's sat me in. _

_I see his eyes widen in horror and he catches me gently. I flop against him but he holds me protectively. He stands slowly, his fingers making sure that none of my strings became tangled and he very gently moves me back to the soft chair he had me on. "I've got you," he tells me before positioning me in a comfortable position. He treats each and every piece so delicately, placing a kiss on each part he moves._

_He sits back and places a hand on my cheek. "I've got you," he promises me. Somehow I feel myself getting smaller so that I'm the same size as a ventriloquist puppet and see the terror and fear in his eyes but after I stop shrinking, I feel him very gently pick me up as if I'm a small child. He sits me in his arm and lets my head rest against his shoulder. As he sits down, he moves me so I'm in his lap and he can wrap his arms around me protectively. _

"_I've got you." _

**End of Chapter Seventy One**

**Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Seventy

**Author Notes:**

**Ogata will be in the next chapter**

**I really hate dolls. Like I have automatonophobia which means I'm kind of scared of the uncanny valley. I hate human type dolls, androids, robots. Somehow I'm fine with Barbies but American Girls creep me out. I just thought that Kyoko felt Kanae wanted to control her and then I wanted to show Kyoko's view on the way Kanae treats her versus the way Kuon would treat her. One of my most irrational fears is being turned **_**into**_** a doll. **


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